Tuesday, April 07, 2009

The Time Has Come to Close Janes Blog

The time has come to close Jane's blog. The blog will remain here, but there will be no new posts, comments will still be allowed.Jane's passing has closed a chapter of our lives and now we need to embark on a new journey without our better half or third if you will. Tim and I would prefer to keep our lives more private in our endeavors and I'm sure Jane would not want us to live in the past. I thank all of the posters for their prayers, comments, well wishes, and encouragements over the years, you all gave a strength to Jane that will never be forgotten. And I thank all who have come to me after her passing and told me how she inspired them. Please understand this decision that we have made.

Best
Barry and Tim

Think i remember

that tomorrow is Tim's day to have his wisdom teeth out!! enjoy the happy juice!! get the ice packs ready! good luck moe the boss

"The Music Man" Jane was able to watch the video and see Tim perform -thanks for sending it to the house!!


Monday, April 06, 2009

THANK U BRENDA FOR READING JANE'S EULOGY AT HER MEMORIAL SERVICE ON THE CAPE THAT HER BEST FRIEND MARY LOU WROTE!!

Jane had a wonderful sense of humor. Growing up there was always laughter to be found at the Knotts’ household. Watching kittens being born in a bureau draw in the basement, climbing trees, swimming in the pool in Medway all day and night. What fun we had!

Jane was one of those people who when you called her she always found something positive to say. When you asked her for advice she always gave it to you. Whether or not you agreed with her, you knew where she stood.

Jane took such joy in the simple things in life – wild turkeys and deer in the backyard, Amish horse drawn buggies going by the house, going out to dinner with friends, going to Tim’s soccer games. She loved living in God’s country. It agreed with her.

A big transformation in Jane’s life happened when she had Tim. I saw a much more outgoing Jane. Not that she was shy or quiet around people she knew; just that she was not very talkative around people she didn’t know. She once commented that she was sure it because she had Tim and had to come out of her shell. Jane shone for the world to see upon Tim’s arrival.

Jane really loved to work. After she had Tim and he went off to school, Jane longed to return to work. Jane was not a person to sit around at home. It may have been just getting out of the house, being with people and giving her a sense of pride in herself. She once said you can only sit around the house so long. As long as I can work and be home for Tim, then I will do it. And she did. Finally working at the college a few minutes from her home was her favorite job. In the end she didn’t want to give up work because I think work gave her a little break from the cancer. To go and sit and do something other then sit at home and think about cancer was a big break for Jane.

I remember when Jane wanted to get pregnant and had a difficult time. She called me once saying she didn’t think it was the cards. I told to hang there because good things happen to good people. And it did on February 12, 1991 she had the baby she longed for. And what a joy Tim has been to Barry and Jane and everyone who knows him. Kudos to Jane and Barry for doing a great job with their Tim! And kudos to you, Tim, for becoming the fine young man you are!

Jane’s blog was true Jane. Getting the word out to help someone else in the future was her life. She told the good, the bad and the ugly. It was a journey that she shared with a passion and conviction that was truly amazing. I don’t think there are too many people who could go through when she went though and post it for the world to see. Amazing.

I believe resiliency was Jane’s middle name. Jane was one of the most resilient people I have ever known especially when cancer found her. I remember the phone call when she told me she had breast cancer. I never heard the words I’m not going to make it. I heard I’m going to fight this with all my strength. She would bounce back time and time again only finally saying it was over when the cancer had ravished her body. Knowing it was time to say her good-byes she did so with a grace not many people possess.

You can’t talk about Jane without discussing faith. Jane had such a deep faith. She knew she was going to go to see her Awesome God and that someday we all be reunited with her. One of Jane’s Blog posts had the following: Happy Moments, Praise God, Difficult Moments, Seek God, Quiet Moments, Worship God, Painful Moments, Trust God, Every Moment, Thank God.

I thank God every moment of every day for letting Jane McGregor Knotts Kaminske into my life and showing me the way to live life to the fullest. Jane, I love you and you are forever in my heart! Mary Lou

THANKS BECKY FOR READING THE EULOGY I WROTE FOR MY SISTER JANE AT HER FUNERAL!!!

TO OUR DEAR JANE: U WERE AN AWESOME WIFE TO BARRY,MOTHER TO TIM, DAUGHTER TO KAY AND DOUG, SISTER TO EILEEN,MAUREEN,AND DOUGIE,DAUGHTER-IN-LAW TO JIM AND KAY,AUNT TO SEVERAL,AND AN AWESOME FRIEND TO SO MANY PEOPLE. WOW !
As Jane always felt that once the plan was known the task would be easier. In preparation for my visit a couple weeks ago I presented Jane,Barry,and Tim with this letter below to say goodbye. I wanted to live up to my expectation of being the boss as she would call me.
I just want to share a few experiences with all of u in which my sister Jane was a part of. Well to begin March 3, 1956-I become the middle sibling as Eileen is 6 and I am 3. I would like to remember the Winchendon days where mom and dad made us go swimming at the Clarke Building and the water seemed so cold-dad burning leaves any time of year on the side of the road-he had the whole neighborhood involved-our camp where homemade icecream was made with big chunks of chocolate pieces-looking for the lost horse mom was watching for a year-going to the Rod/and Gun club with dad and watching someone get a fishhook stuck in their head-eating ice cream at Silver Ranch sitting on the wooden post-fishing with Gram and Pa at the little brook next to their house-visiting Gramma Knotts-we called her the garbage can as she never would waste food at the apartment with the toilet that had the long pull down chain to flush. 1960-1965-We live on the beautiful Island of Nantucket where u started your friendship with Mary Lou-u were 4 when this started. These days included hours of play at the State Police Barracks where Mary Lou lived where we would sneak upstairs to see if any troopers were there-tag team,kick ball etc-going to Cisco beach and almost drowning with the undertow-Children’s beach with the stupid ice cold swimming lessons-thurston’s banana splits on Sunday’s-jeep rides where bucky fell off into the pucker brush-dad cooking lobsters late at night when mom got home at midnoc-the old hammock from the navy and dad pulling us on rope on sleds behind the jeep as Nantucket had no sliding hills. 1965-Doug is born-We said mom had rust in her system as he had the red hair and it had been 10 years since u were born. 1965-we head to Medway where u worked at Medway Savings and started the Now Account Checking System-even now u remember peoples account numbers-u meet Rex Trailor-u dance on the tables for eileen’s dates. 1976-wwe have our second home on the Cape. Now Barry comes into the picture-1979-Bonnie and Don set u 2 up for a date-the heritage house date,cape cod times newspaper/Barry’s red car and love. Memories of u living at the rental where the landlord would sneak in and dilute your liquor. Marriage 1980.. In 1985 U move to Long Island and we enjoy the Orient Point Ferry rides, half price este lauder products-trips on the train into the city to see the live plays-we would hide the money in our shoes so we would not get robbed. 1991-Tim is born and we are there that day. 2002-Then Pennsylvania-God’s country-amish buggies-fresh air-deer and turkeys in the back yard. U develop so many new friends and u always say u love the area so much. 2004- a bump in the road but something positive comes of Jane’s need for a blog-her open personal experience enlightens so many individuals. She supports Barry with his bump in the road at the same time. Through out the years u have maintained your friendship with Mary Lou-u and Barry have raised a fine handsome son Tim who resembles Prince Harry-a son who makes so many proud-to Penn State College he will go. U and Barry have endured a relationship-29 years married. I just want to thank u for my sister, for u Barry and Tim for being there for my sister and for always thinking that POSITIVE energy is so important and just remembering that random acts of kindness go a long way!! As I told u you are OUR AMERICAN IDOL. For now your pain is gone and u are with your awesome God and we will all be together in the end. Adios moe,family,and friends. Now u know the mystery as we always have said.
THANK YOU BECKY AND YOUR PERSONAL WORDS U ADDED MADE ME CRY WHEN I LISTENED TO THE SERVICE CD!! thanks for being one of my sister Jane's many friends in God's country adios moe

GATHERING MY THOUGHTS FOR POSTING TOMORROW OF THE PAST FEW DAYS!!

Well my dad this am calls and is wondering why no blog entries!! Well dad u know we have no computer on the Cape!! Thanks for the picture Jody!! I need to organize my brain thoughts and will post tuesday for sure. Thanks for the cards personally sent to me and gene!! Catch u later and adios!! Mary lou even had a dream of Jane the other night!! love to all,moe

Thank you........


I want to thank all the walkers that did the Relay for Jane on Saturday. She would have been so happy knowing you were all there for her. I sure am...

Jane's sister,

Eileen

Thursday, April 02, 2009

jane and barry have taught me my computer skills

Well it took me quite a while to post her obituary-the newspaper had the picture in the paper but not in the on line version and we all wanted u to see. Since I don't have the actual paper I scanned a blog picture of her and did some cropping so all of u could see!!! Jane would like extra pj's showing we know. After this we definately need to get high speed internet!! adios moe

JANE'S OBITUARY IN TODAY'S MILFORD DAILY NEWS

NEW WILMINGTON, PA Jane Knotts Kaminske, of New Wilmington, Pa., passed away in her home on Saturday, March 28, 2009. She was 53 years old. She leaves her husband of 29 years, Barry James Kaminske. The daughter of Douglas and Kathleen Marie (Turner) Knotts, she was born March 3, 1956, in Winchendon, Mass. Graduating from Medway High School, she was a member of the National Honor Society. Since moving to Pennsylvania, Mrs. Kaminske was employed by First National Bank in Hermitage, Pa., and Westminster College in New Wilmington. Previously, she was head teller at Medway Savings Bank and employed at Cape Cod Five Cents Savings Bank. She was a member of the St. Camillus Catholic Church in New Castle, Pa., where she was a Eucharistic minister. In addition to her husband, she is survived by her parents of Centerville; a son, Timothy of New Wilmington, Pa.; a brother, Douglas E. Knotts Jr. and his wife Brenda of Medway; two sisters, Eileen Bouliane and her husband Roger of Woonsocket, R.I., and Maureen Zicuis and her husband Gene of Holliston. A memorial service will be at 11 a.m. Saturday, April 4, at Christ the King Parish, 3 Jobs Fishing Road, Mashpee. Memorial contributions may be made to the
American Cancer Society. You may visit her blog site at jkaminske.blogspot.com.

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

A SUNNY DAY FOR JANE'S SERVICE

Becky, a best friend of Jane wrote to me the following-the service went well. i am so honored to have read the eulogy i can't express that enough. i did it with many tears but with heartfelt love for jane. Thank u so much . Jody Kind , another best friend wrote also- Today the service for her was held in New Wilmington, and it was a glorious service. The sun was shining brightly, and all in the church felt Jane was beaming from ear to ear seeing all her friends and "family" from NW there. It was a victory celebration indeed - victorious that she is now with her Lord and Savior. Barry wrote on his facebook-I never knew how special my wife was to so many people,it is just humbling

CALLING HOURS TO REMEMBER JANE

Lots of beautiful memory filled pictures around-JoeAnne another friend writes. Jody also wrote- Everything looked wonderful - there was a slideshow of photos, as well as a beautiful bulletin board that I believe Lisa and Marion (?) placed depicting Jane and her various blog entries. It was really touching. The display case also had beautiful photos of Jane. I swear she hadn't aged ..... She looked at peace in her "Cancer Sucks" t shirt and pretty colorful jacket. Very appropriate.Just know that there is a lot of LOVE and PEACE in New Wilmington today. Lisa another close friend wrote-Just got home from the viewing and everything went very well. Your dad got to meet a lot of people who he has heard about but never met. Barry couldn't believe how many people showed up! He just kept saying it over and over. He realizes how many people loved Jane and love him and Tim. And I got to have great conversations with Dougie. Patti and I decided we are going to make a trip your way this summer to eat at his restaurant and see you guys. THANKS FOR BEING THE EYES AND EARS FOR US YESTERDAY adios moe the boss as jane called me

Rev. Lisa Hickman's Sermon for Jane M. Kaminske-Thanks for sending for Jane's other love-her blog!!

Today I want to think about Jane’s FIRST lecture.

While she loved the college atmosphere and her colleagues at Westminster, Jane didn’t have the opportunity to teach until we all gathered by her side in these years of her illness. We’ve wanted to take her class.

And Oh, the lessons we’ve learned…

The first lesson was the hardest, and I can’t really say it from the pulpit, perhaps you saw it crossstiched in her living room, or a photo on her blog – the best way I can say it here is that CANCER STINKS.

Jane didn’t dwell on this lesson, but recognizing the reality of the illness before her and its dire effects were foundational for taking the next step.

For Jane, one of the next steps involved a blog – making public her struggle – but even more so, finding community for her grief.

We all logged in to this digital classroom – where each day we learned something of resilience and grace, longing and laughter.

The lessons often involved Tim – I have such a great kid – Jane would say…
Or Barry…he takes such pride in taking care of me, I can’t believe I’m married to a man like this…

Many of the lessons involved walks through the halls of hospitals, office visits, that learning that takes place in circumstances we would never choose.

CANCER STINKS.

I hope one of our high school kids here offering support for Tim – will pursue a path of research that makes progress in this area of science and medicine. Go into the lab, meet patients, go to med school, become a nurse practitioner – and find a cure, bring some comfort to this disease which is one of life’s toughest lessons.

The learning didn’t stop there…

The next word Jane would write on her chalkboard of life would be FORWARD…

I understand this word made its way into the musical notes – thanks and congrats from the parents at the end of the guide –

For Jane, FORWARD, meant that life brings obstacles – CANCER STINKS, is the first. But for Jane, each obstacle was addressed with the simple prayer FORWARD. This word would slip its way into conversations with friends, comments on the blog, and encouragement to Tim and Barry as they fought this battle together.

It’s a word I’ll take with me.

With that word girding her up, Jane was ready for the next point in her lecture to all of us:

NO REGRETS.

Jane did absolutely everything she wanted to do.
She made lists and she completed them.
She made chocolate chip cookies with Maureen.
She planted gardens with Patty.

Can you live your life without regret was the challenge she placed before us…

And why is that so hard for us to do? We retreat into shame, or guilt, or fear, or depression – succumbing to circumstance instead of rising to the occasion.

NO REGRETS doesn’t mean live life without regard or respect for others, but it meant for her to be in conversation with God about your hopes for this life – because life is short and every minute is precious.

Some of Jane’s lectures were ONE WORD – wouldn’t that make a great class period? She would put the word up on the board – and then encourage us to go LIVE WITH THIS WORD –

So words like

Strength
Courage
Generosity
Gratitude
Community
Laughter

Werent’ talked about, they were experienced.

Jane would call from a shopping trip and say, “I am having the best day. I’m with Tim. I just ate a stromboli. What a great day to be alive. I’m having a GREAT day.”

If only all of us could live with such delight.

We could go on for hours about her laughter –

Her nicknames for others…
The laughter that trickled out over the phone and onto the blog –
For the brain surgeon, who had great DIMPLES, but Jane in her confusion post brain surgery came up with another creative body part to compliment him on…

We LAUGHED.

These words we have learned – and the family would echo their appreciation for how these words take particular shape here in this community –

GENEROSITY
GRATITUDE
COMMUNITY.

Jane, we have learned so much from you.
I am rooting for an honorary degree for you from this institution across the street that you so loved.

Jane VALUED education.

You hoped for nothing more than to get Timmy into a great college – and you did.
Tim, you will learn amazing things in your coursework – you already have – philosophy classes last summer, Ayn Rand for your senior project now –

But you will learn nothing as profound as what you have learned from your mother.


But what we loved learning from Jane is that life is bigger than a classroom. The last thing Jane said to me is when you lose hope, go watch the flowers grow.

Nature was just as much Jane’s classroom –

And with the love of the garden she had –

Close by passing out some simple seeds –

That these lessons would take root in your heart and life and GROW.

This is really Paul’s prayer from Ephesians – that we would become rooted and grounded in love –


Close in prayer…

Get the walking shoes on-way back Jane posted this picture!!


Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Tomorrow will be another day for me to post on the past 2 days

right now my mind is too tired and i do know u bloggers are waiting!! sleep tight and my dad said jane would say "see ya" adios moe weird i dreamt of her twice today-one dream i couldn't find her in a group of people and it was so frustrating and the other was better-I was talking to dad and we heard her talking as a third party on the phone-it was so weird-on a power nap this afternoon-jane loved the power naps!

IN MEMORY OF JANE,IN HONOR OF BARRY!!

Good Morning.I just got done reading the blog. Wow! I cried and cried. I have a favor to ask of you. Could you post the following on the blog since I don't know how? A few of us thought this would be wonderful.Relay for Life Memorial Walk - Saturday, April 4 at 11:00 am - Wesminster CollegeWe all know that Jane was so excited that Tim would be able to walk again this year after missing last year. Unfortunately, he will be in New England for the Memorial Service. Anyone who would like to join together in a few laps in memory of Jane, please join us this Saturday. 11:00 is when the memorial service will be going on in New England. We thought this would be our support for Barry and Tim from back home.Thanks. from lisa pearson one of jane's many friends!!!

Monday, March 30, 2009

MEMORIES OF JANE TO BE SHARED TODAY!!

Please join Jane Kaminske's family and friends today at The Smith Funeral Home,310 West Neshannock Ave, New Wilmington, Pa. from 2-4 and 7 to 9pm. A funeral service will be held Tuesday at 9am at the New Wilmington Presbyterian Church,South Market Street,New Wilmington. On these days may u also perform a random act of kindness for someone as I promised her I would request and pass the word of this blogsite on. Jane would I am sure allow HUGS AND TEARS at this gathering/passing phase of her life. Thanks to all adios moe the boss as she always called me!! Your concerns will help especially Barry and Tim. Please no flowers. You can donate to the Cancer Society in her name or Susan Komen for the Cause

Sunday, March 29, 2009

"i feel like i lost a job"

My job now is to pass the blog word on and today I sent an email to work for a posting for all to read in regards to a promise to Jane we had made. I specifically asked for my work friends to read some comments as they would understand how much my sister Jane meant to me and her family and large circle of friends. I find myself today still trying to believe she is gone-after all I have seen so many pass in my nursing career. Today was like I lost my job-my sister didn't tell me what the day was like-that I needed to post for her.For the past 4 plus years I have been going hand in hand with her on the cancer journey like so many other family and new and old friends starting with the first relay walk when she had just had chemo and was as bald as a cucumber but she held her head ever so high that day and everyday until her last breath on this earth. She once told me that u get it if u have been through cancer-u appreciate every second in time-u never have a harsh word for anybody. I also promised her that I would make sure people are reminded that random acts of kindness go a long way. Another promise was that I would be there for Tim and Barry for Tim's High School graduation in June and the party also. Well thanks to all for your heartfealt soul searching. I think we should put all the tears together and this summer there won't be a water shortage. Of course right now the Kleenex factory is empty. And yes Jane some laughter of past memories will get us thru this journey in memory of u this week. adios the whole family clan who loves u all