Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Christmas letter

This evening I am typing up Christmas letter. So I won't be bloggin..

Monday, November 28, 2005

A hunting we will go

Here's to a safe hunting season to all. And to friendship.

PS Run, Bambi, Run...

And at 9 p.m. Tim arrived home empty handed! Saw a lot of deer, but they were doe and he didn't have a license to shoot them. He said he had a great time and did enjoy himself. He also said that while walking to the place to hunt, it was very early and quite dark, with lots of hunters around. Could hear occassional shots being fired and just prayed that they weren't aiming at him.

Of the group he went with, only 1 deer was shot.

Maybe next time Tim will be luckier than the deer were today.

Sunday, November 27, 2005

A quiet Sunday

Went out to dinner last night with Barry. Had my favorite dish chicken francaise. Boy is it quiet without Tim. He did call us last evening to tell us that they moved wood yesterday. Guess it worked out good that this family knows how to do that! Good practice. Hunting season actually starts tomorrow.

Yesterday I saw Michelle W. at the store with her family. She looked wonderful as usual. Already has got her hair colored. I also talked with Jody who is recovering from her recent surgery. And I got an email from Aileen yesterday. Geez, 3 bosum buddies in one day. How lucky can I be!

Today continues to be quiet. Temps have warmed up which made it nice for me to wash truck. Barry's off to work. And good news: Vikings beat the Browns and I finally got to see Mel Jr. play. Must have been a good feeling to beat his old team.

As for the blog and it's recent appearance, for some reasons you may not be able to go backwards. But after clicking away somehow, it did come back for me. Just don't know which button I pressed... I think when you press the time button next to where I do my posting, that causes only the current post to show. Hence, not a good idea. Better just to have the blogger heading block the top and be able to see all the daily blogs.

Saturday, November 26, 2005

One year ago today

It was one year ago today that I had a sonogram on my right breast after noticing the lump. I was told that it was a swollen gland later. Huh. Certainly know now how wrong they were. It was my having this journal that I could look back and see where I've come from.

PS. To see the whole entry without the blogger heading, try hitting the time next to where is says posted by Jane.

Friday, November 25, 2005

A quiet day at work

Tim took off for his first hunting weekend in the morning. I know I'm going to miss him. Wondering how lucky he will be on Monday when the season officially begins.

It was such a quiet day at work today. Very relaxing for a change. In fact we put up our Christmas tree and did some decorating in between telephone calls. A good day.

Barry's off tonight and I made the Pepperidge Farm pastry dish with turkey and vegetables. Maureen, you've also made this. Nice and easy. Could have gone out to dinner but I had all the ingredients and it was a quick dinner. I have tomorrow to go out if we want to.

It's now 11 p.m. and I must admit this: went to bed at 7:30 p.m. (nothing on TV) and got up at 10:30 p.m.! Guess I'll call that a nap..... Haven't done that in a long time.

Thursday, November 24, 2005

Happy Thanksgiving

Woke up to what you can see in my pictures. Temps in the low 20s and very windy. Lots of snow squalls. My day was made when as i was sitting at kitchen table I looked out back. And you do know what I saw. TWO deer making their way through the woods. I told them quietly "run." I absolutely love my deer.

After we had turkey leftovers, Barry went back to bed and Tim went to the shooting range. Had to get prepared for deer hunting season. Later in the evening, I packed for Tim's weekend. Lots of warm clothes. Temps today we below 20 degrees.

I made cupcakes for the boys to take hunting.

Looking towards our new driveway...

 
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Wondering which holiday we are celebrating...

 
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Looks more like Christmas than Thanksgiving...

 
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Wednesday, November 23, 2005

First snow of season

Got about an inch of snow last night. Drove home in a blizzard. Internet was down all yesterday evening. Terrible service.

Well, today was another repeat of yesterday with more snow. Tim had a flute lesson scheduled for 6 p.m. but we didn't make it. In order to get there, we would have had to go down a very big hill (Volant) and there was no way I was going to attempt that. I told Tim that I just got through cancer and I wasn't going to kill both of us in a car accident. I pulled along side of the road, at the top of the hill, and could tell no one else was going down it. The cars coming up the hill were swerving all around. Put my blinkers on and turned around. Other cars followed. I then called and canceled the lesson. Not worth it.

Barry had put the turkey in the oven already as we had left for the lesson. So it worked out fine that I could continue to do the dinner. Barry's not been feeling good this past week. And today was no exception. There is discomfort in the area of the tumors. He went for his scheduled flu shot and did see an oncologist. Was given another prescription for pain killer. Past couple of days he has been taking them, but it does cause nausea. It just seems that the pain comes back when he is not receiving chemo. His next treatment is next week.

Barry rested as dinner was prepared. Got up to eat with us but didn't even finish his plate. Very unusual for him. He continues not to complain. It saddens me to know he is not feeling well. He is my hero.

So now that Thanksgiving dinner is done, I can rest tomorrow. I plan to stay in bed late. Tim is going to the shooting range in preparation of catching his first deer next week! Not sure if I'm rooting for him or for my deer....

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Thoughts and prayers go out to J today

My bosom buddy J is having surgery this a.m. Positive energy is being sent her way today. She's one tough cookie.

Monday, November 21, 2005

Things I am thankful for...

It's hard to believe that Thanksgiving is a few days away. I've decided to write down a few things that I'm thankful for.

I'm thankful for:

Dr. Henwood, my surgeon
Dr. Garrow, my oncologist
Dr. Ulewicz, my radiation oncologist
the nurses and radiation technicians at the Cancer Center
the ability to reach up high without any pain
the ability to reach without any pain
the power of pain killers
the ability to sleep all night
not having any more night sweats
no more neulasta
no bad side effects from chemo and radiation
no more periods
all the delicious meals that my angels made for us
to all who chauffer Tim to and from activities
for such a great support system which consists of Barry and Tim, my family and my many old and new friends. And above all, I'm thankful to God for being by our sides these past few months.

I have never asked why, it's not my place to do so. I never knew the strength that both Barry and I have until now. I hope that others can learn from our ordeal as I have learned from others.

Best of luck to my bosom buddy who is having surgery tomorrow a.m. She's one of my angels.

Sunday, November 20, 2005

Dad and Mom enjoy a nice fall day on Cape Cod. The tall sea grass makes for a great background.

 
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The highlight of my day

Was a very relaxing day today. Was able to take a nice 2 hr. nap and woke up for the first time in a long time with bed head hair. I love my naps.

I had been pushing Tim most of the day to do his homework and practice flute. So after supper he went over to his backpack. It was then (at about 7 p.m.) that he realized he had not done his "grave rubbings" for his Latin class. So guess where we took an evening ride to? You guessed, to 2 local cemetaries. And thank goodness we weren't stopped by the police. End result, that homework is now complete.

This is a short week for Tim. He only has 2 days of school and then off for Thanksgiving. Kids (and teachers) are so lucky.

Moe and Gene also enjoyed the day. Cape Cod is beautiful in the fall.

 
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Saturday, November 19, 2005

Football season is now over

This morning Barry and I went shopping for shades for our first floor. We've been here 3 years and are now finally dressing the house up. We've ordered them and should have them in a couple of weeks. Will add insulation and warmth to the house.

Snuck in a quick nap before I brought Tim for band practice. I went to the school about an hour after he got there. I was able to help load all the musical instruments into the van. It was fun helping out. I got to chaperone the bus that Tim and the freshmen were on. On the way to the game, the exchange student Julia sat with me. She arrived in August and will stay until the end of the school year. She lives near Russia, someplace like Muldavia. Not sure of name. She has already graduated from school. Told me that she is taking calculus class here and that it is so easy. Compared to her education she told me that classes are easier here. Very smart girl. Communicates via email with her parents and sends digital pictures to them. She will be going with the band to Disney in April and is quite excited about it. Also told me that the dress code is different here. There she would be wearing high heels and dresses to school. She speaks about 5 different languages. I enjoyed talking with her.

As I sat in the bus I thought of how proud I was to be there. To have this opportunity of helping out in such a small way meant a lot to me. And chaperoning these kids is not work at all. A bunch of good kids.

I sat with Jody and her husband at the game. Barry sat with the Hoppe family. I knew it was going to be a long game when the other team scored a 90 yard touchdown within the first 14 seconds of the game. The score ended up being 21-0. We were the 0 score. So ends the football season and the band's marching. I certainly have enjoyed this season though. I've met so many wonderful people.

Barry couldn't wait to warm up after the game. Hottub and shower finally did the trick, along with tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches. I wasn't cold at all.
Terrible feeling when you are that cold. He's already under the covers now.

Hard to believe that Thanksgiving is this week. Followed by Tim's first hunting experience.

Friday, November 18, 2005

TGIF

Internet was down for me last night. Came up right before I went to bed.

Sure do miss it when it's down.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Tim has first flute lesson

After work today (which was an easy day), I took Tim for his first flute lesson. It was only a 1/2 hr. but as I sat in the woman's living room I could tell she knew her stuff. And she told him that in May her students get together for a recital at the local college. Tim was excited when he heard that. She only teaches the flute and piano.

We then went to the outlets nearby and bought Tim a new winter jacket and hat. The outlets were so dead. On the weekend they are jammed pack. What a difference. We ended our evening by going out for Mexican food (yes, again!).

So yes, it was a good day.

And yes, the damn blogger blocking header is back. Only good thing is that I know it once disappeared. Now you just have to wait a day to read the top lines you missed the day before.

PS. First snow flurries are coming down for this season! 34 degrees out now.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

A better day

Even though it's raining outside, I'll make it a better day today. Off to early meeting. Am glad to know that many people experience cluttered brain syndrome, even when not related to chemo. I've never been alone and that is a blessing.

Work was better today. Actually at lunch, I sat in my truck and listened to a meditation CD that Linda had given me when I was first diagnosed. She is a cancer survivor. And honestly I had only listened to it a couple of times. Am thinking that perhaps during lunch I should start to meditate. To relax myself.

When I got home from work, I went over the lawn quickly with tractor and bagger to clean it up. By the time I finished I was using the lights on it. But boy did it look good. I really enjoy doing the lawn.

Tomorrow is Tim's first flute lesson. I'll be picking him up after work and going to the lesson with him. It's only a 1/2 hr. lesson, hope he learns something in that time. He'll be going once a week. He's been asking for this since the beginning of the year. Got postponed due my diagnosis of cancer.

Monday, November 14, 2005

Chemo-brain

Yes, there truly is a condition called chemo-brain. And at times I do believe that I have it. "People who have chemo-brain may find themselves unable to concentrate on their work, or unable to juggle multiple tasks. Some find they don't remember things as well as they used to.

Subtle or not, chemo-brain is frustrating to patients, who may suddenly find themselves unable to accomplish tasks they formerly completed with ease. And it's a mystery to doctors, who are still trying to understand what causes it and who is likely to suffer." The above statements are from an article I read by American Cancer Society.

The good news is that it should disappear in a year or two. Hard to explain what I feel in my head. At times my head seems so cluttered, not clear. Not sure if it's related to my personal situation, dealing with my own cancer along with dealing with Barry's cancer. I've always been one to rely on notes to remind myself but moreso now. I feel guilty when I'm feeling a bit down, as Barry is fighting for his life and is not outwardly complaining. I wonder if you get PMS when you no longer get your periods? Funny, huh! Could blame it on that.

I've always been honest and this is just another honest posting. Didn't help that today was a day from heck at work. You always pay for a holiday.

Thanks for listening. Tomorrow will be better day. And as my best friend Jody has told me: CANCER SUCKS

PS. Just got called to chaperone at Saturday's playoff game. Agreed to as this will be my first time doing so. Am pleased to be able to help out.

Sunday, November 13, 2005

Sundays are a day of rest

At church today, Tim sat with his class. All the 8th and 9th graders who are making their confirmation in May signed a document showing their intentions. There was no confirmation done last year due to such a small group. So now they combine the classes. Tim will need to chose a sponsor for it. I can't understand why a parent can't be your sponsor. No one has actually given me a good answer to that question, including Father Phil. Because I think I would be the perfect fit sponsor.

I cooked a nice chicken roaster for lunch. Perfect timing as we walked into the house.

Barry went to work after lunch. I took a nap and boy did that feel good. Have missed my naps. After the nap, Tim and I delivered a couple of pies from the pie sale to a girl I work with. Then we went to WalMart to get Tim a hunting vest. In a couple of weeks he will be going deer hunting for the first time with the Pearsons. Am very greatful that they offered to take him since we are not hunters. And our likes/dislikes shouldn't stop him from trying something different.

A very relaxing day. Which is wonderful.

Saturday, November 12, 2005

I helped out at the band's pie sale pickup this morning for about 3 hrs. Felt good to finally give some of my time to others. The band sold over 800 pies! I bought 3. And I already cooked one (just finished having a piece of the verry berry pie).
Delicous. I had to cook it, no room in the freezer! Good excuse.

After I came home, we did more raking of leaves in the front wooded section and garden section. And then we burned them. Oh, the good ole' smell of leaves burning. Bet you miss that smell, Dad. Yard is looking pretty good.

Barry worked a long time on my truck today. My windshield washer fluid wasn't pumping. But he finally diagnosed the problem and got the part for it, along with a new battery. So I'm in good shape.

Tim took off after noon to meet up with some band friends. They were playing at the playoff game this evening. Barry and I decided to stay home. Instead we did the shopping for my truck, Chinese buffet and then grocery store.

So it has been a productive 2 days for me and our lawn. Love being outside.

Barry's folks arrived home after about a 12 hr. trip. Glad I'm flying there next month and not driving. I can not stand that trip. Too long for me. We had a great time with them. Now I have to see if my mother-in-law will post on my blog after I showed her how to.

As for the chicken shit recipe, I'll post it soon.

Just heard on radio that our team WON 34-20 tonight! Guess Tim and the band aren't done playing football games yet.

Friday, November 11, 2005

A great Friday

After Tim got on the bus, I went back to bed for another hour. Boy did that feel great.

Barry went to his 11 a.m. chemo treatment. His mother went with him. I stayed home to do the lawn. I used my new bagging attachment for the ride on mower. It took me about 2 hours. 2 enjoyable hours outside. I really enjoy doing that kind of work. And to see the end result is wonderful. It was such a wonderful day, temperature wise and company wise. Barry's dad sat in the livingroom and was able to watch me.
Outside work to me is better than doing inside housework!

It was perfect timing. Barry came home just as I had started up the grill for burgers. His dad's first words to him were "how do you feel?." We've both been blessed since we've not had nausea with the treatments. Thank God. There are many who do experience such effect.

Since I was off today, I was able to spend the day with Barry's parents. It worked out perfectly. Tim walked home from school with our neighbor Tess today. She's our oncologist's daughter. A very nice girl. Tim went to the school play this evening for 2 reasons: extra credit for his honors english class and to see and be with his friends. And today was report card day. Dad, he continues to get the excellent grades. They don't have Honors Society at his grade level but I do believe he is on some kind of honors list. I am so proud of him as a person and as a son. A very well rounded boy. To be smart is one thing, but also to be a kind person is everything.

We went out to dinner at a BBQ type restaurant this evening. Another good meal. Thanks Mom and Dad! They will be leaving in the morning. Barry was able to spend every day with them which was their purpose in coming here. Family is so important.

PS. I see my blog blocking header is back! Shucks.

When my mother comes to visit us, this is her favorite sitting place. Notice my hair. This is the perfect length.

 
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My mother-in-law Kay with God's country behind her.

 
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Mom and Dad K. enjoy the views from our livingroom.

 
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Thursday, November 10, 2005

Today was my Friday at work because we're off tomorrow for Veteran's Day. It was made even better because it was a jeans day. I wish we could wear jeans everyday. For some reason, I feel people's attitudes are more relaxed while wearing jeans. I can never understand the need to dress up when you have no direct contact with the public. Oh well, that's life. Tim does have school tomorrow though. Lucky kid.

Since tomorrow is Friday, Barry will be going for his weekly chemo treatment. His mother will be going with him. I think this is a very nice gesture and am sure Barry will appreciate her company. When his brother was here he also went with Barry. Last night Barry wasn't able to sleep well. And the usual routine after chemo is being unable to sleep. I feel spoiled when I get a good night's sleep. And now when I do hear him snore, it's a good noise because I know he's sleeping.
Which for him is a treat. There were a couple of recent days that he stayed in bed late in morning. I told him that's good, with everything he's going through why not.

Today Barry took his parents into Ohio. They went to the apple orchard and bought more apples. I've really been enjoying the apples this year.

For dinner I made what I call "Jane's chicken shit". If you're one of the lucky ones, you've tasted it. Made with chicken tenderloins, bread cubes, chicken soup sauce over broccoli. Very tasty and easy. I had got it partially prepared before I went to work this morning.

Not sure what activities are planned for tomorrow. Time will tell.

PS. I showed my mother-in-law how to post on my blog this evening. I look forward to reading her first post!!

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Family

Barry and his parents stayed home today. And just basically talked. Am sure that they had a good time in doing so. Barry took tonight off to be with them.

We went out to dinner at one of our favorite restaurants, The Iron Bridge. I was able to use gift certificates that my friends gave me from the bank along with one that Barry had got from his job back in April. I had been saving them for a special occasion and this was it.

It's now 8 p.m. and the folks have retired to their private living quarters. I think it's actually a bit past their bedtime!

Monday, November 07, 2005

Barry's parents arrived after about a 10 1/2 hr. trip. That's a long trip to make.
Am glad they made it safe and sound.

Very short blog tonight. Watching a good movie...

Sunday, November 06, 2005

A windy but enjoyable day

The only time I left the yard today was to go to church and grocery store. We had a little bit of everything today. But the common thing was wind. Very windy at times. Yesterday I bought the bagger attachment for our tractor, and today Tim attempted to gather up the leaves in it. But this year it seems that all the leaves are coming down at once. He would make one sweep of the lawn and it would be filled. And then the rain came. Didn't last for long, but enough that he had put the mower away. The wind proved to be our friend though today. Most of the leaves that were in the yard blew away. Tim will clean up the rest tomorrow. He has no school.

For dinner I thawed out some chicken soup that I had froze a couple of months ago. One of our angels, Kelly, had made it for us. And today was the perfect time to thaw it out. It will also make a good lunch this week.

Barry's parents arrive tomorrow afternoon. We're looking forward to their visit. Not sure exactly when. I've made an apple pie this afternoon in preparation for their arrival. I've also made tomorrow's dinner as they may be here when I come home from work. This way it's all done. Did my household chores, just about done. Last thing to do will be to "tidy" up my kitchen counter.

PS. No naps this weekend!

Saturday, November 05, 2005

I love my Saturdays

I took advantage of it being a Saturday and slept late. Love the late morning.

Picked Tim and Josh up from sleepover at noontime. I had already mulched the lawn.
He told me that he slept about 4 hrs. last night. We came home, Tim took a quick shower and then I took him for a much needed hair cut. Hopefully if tomorrow's a nice day I'll take pictures of both of us together.

It was another gorgeous day here.

Barry, Tim and I went out for Mexican food (again) tonight. I really enjoy it.

As soon as we got home, Tim got a phone call from Annie. She wanted to know if he was going to the football playoff game tonight. It's not our school that's playing, but they are renting our stadium. I believe our school will be playing next week, heaven knows where. So I just dropped him off at the school. What a crowd there.
And this is only high school football!

Friday, November 04, 2005

Friendship

Tim went to a sleepover with a few of his buddies after school today. Hopefully it won't be a night without sleep. Worked out good that Lisa could chauffeur him to the party and I will do the reverse drive home.

I had an appt. after work to meet with Fr. Philip at our church. There was an article in the church bulletin looking for eucharistic ministers. And it caught my eye. I called him and this meeting was scheduled. When we lived on Long Island I was one. We met for about 1/2 hr. They will schedule a get together soon to go over the instructions. Perhaps by the first of the year I will be doing this for the church.

After I left the rectory, I called in for my messages at the house. One was from Barry, the other from my friend BJ. Barry had another weekly chemo appt. I actually thought it was going to be a non-chemo day because it wasn't listed on his appt. paper. But he did get it. That guy is so strong, along with good veins. Probably the first of the year he will have another PET scan.

BJ's message was asking if we wanted to go out to dinner as a group. I called her on my cell phone at the right time. Since I had nothing planned for the evening I said sure. I can't believe that I've gone out to dinner two weeks in a row with friends. As they say, only in America! I've got such wonderful friends. Tina and her two boys, the Hoppes, BJ and her guys and me. An evening with uninterrupted conversation. I love it. Truly priceless.

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Geez, I've got a new bloggin' friend Megan! But I did not get the usual hug last night. Think she was too busy, so she owes me one next time. The concert was great. Even though the songs will be the same all year, I still enjoy seeing and hearing them play. There are a lot of talented kids in that school.

I've been having some ankle pain past couple of weeks. I had been living with the pain since heck, I've been through cancer I can be tough! Discomfort when I am walking. Started off with just one ankle and then yesterday the other ankle became sore. This morning it hurt a lot as I went to work. Figured it was time to make a doctor's appointment. I was able to get an afternoon appt. with my medical doctor. Last night I mentioned it to my oncologist (his daughter is in the band) and he mentioned that normal aches are hidden while going through chemo due to the strength of the drugs. Today the doctor said tendinitis and gave me script for an anti-inflamatory. Will start the pills tomorrow. Also told me to put some ice on the ankles.

Barry was outside for about 5 hrs. today doing yard work. Trimming and getting rid of leaves. The yard looks great.

We went out to dinner this evening. Just got home short while ago.

Not sure if I mentioned this but my friends want to take me out to dinner soon, a girls night out. And it will be for breast cancer month which was in October. I was approached last night by one of my friends who was involved in planning it. How kind of them. I've also invited two of my bosom buddies to come, Jody and Aileen. Hope they can come and celebrate being survivors.

That's it for now....

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

CONGRATULATIONS AILEEN!

You made it to the finish line of chemo and radiation. And as you well know:

"the breast is yet to come!" (PS. Hope you don't mind me stealing that quote!"

Tonight is Tim's first high school concert. Looking forward to seeing him perform, and of course seeing all the kids. The kids are always so kind to me. There is one girl, Megan, who will always greet me with a hug. My kind of a person. She makes me feel like a queen. And I thank her.