WE are SURVIVORS

The Time Has Come to Close Janes Blog

2009-04-07T23:00:00.002-04:00

The time has come to close Jane's blog. The blog will remain here, but there will be no new posts, comments will still be allowed.Jane's passing has closed a chapter of our lives and now we need to embark on a new journey without our better half or third if you will. Tim and I would prefer to keep our lives more private in our endeavors and I'm sure Jane would not want us to live in the past. I thank all of the posters for their prayers, comments, well wishes, and encouragements over the years, you all gave a strength to Jane that will never be forgotten. And I thank all who have come to me after her passing and told me how she inspired them. Please understand this decision that we have made.

Best
Barry and Tim

Think i remember

2009-04-07T14:48:00.002-04:00

that tomorrow is Tim's day to have his wisdom teeth out!! enjoy the happy juice!! get the ice packs ready! good luck moe the boss

"The Music Man" Jane was able to watch the video and see Tim perform -thanks for sending it to the house!!

2009-04-07T12:42:00.005-04:00

THANK U BRENDA FOR READING JANE'S EULOGY AT HER MEMORIAL SERVICE ON THE CAPE THAT HER BEST FRIEND MARY LOU WROTE!!

2009-04-06T16:13:00.007-04:00

Jane had a wonderful sense of humor. Growing up there was always laughter to be found at the Knotts’ household. Watching kittens being born in a bureau draw in the basement, climbing trees, swimming in the pool in Medway all day and night. What fun we had!

Jane was one of those people who when you called her she always found something positive to say. When you asked her for advice she always gave it to you. Whether or not you agreed with her, you knew where she stood.

Jane took such joy in the simple things in life – wild turkeys and deer in the backyard, Amish horse drawn buggies going by the house, going out to dinner with friends, going to Tim’s soccer games. She loved living in God’s country. It agreed with her.

A big transformation in Jane’s life happened when she had Tim. I saw a much more outgoing Jane. Not that she was shy or quiet around people she knew; just that she was not very talkative around people she didn’t know. She once commented that she was sure it because she had Tim and had to come out of her shell. Jane shone for the world to see upon Tim’s arrival.

Jane really loved to work. After she had Tim and he went off to school, Jane longed to return to work. Jane was not a person to sit around at home. It may have been just getting out of the house, being with people and giving her a sense of pride in herself. She once said you can only sit around the house so long. As long as I can work and be home for Tim, then I will do it. And she did. Finally working at the college a few minutes from her home was her favorite job. In the end she didn’t want to give up work because I think work gave her a little break from the cancer. To go and sit and do something other then sit at home and think about cancer was a big break for Jane.

I remember when Jane wanted to get pregnant and had a difficult time. She called me once saying she didn’t think it was the cards. I told to hang there because good things happen to good people. And it did on February 12, 1991 she had the baby she longed for. And what a joy Tim has been to Barry and Jane and everyone who knows him. Kudos to Jane and Barry for doing a great job with their Tim! And kudos to you, Tim, for becoming the fine young man you are!

Jane’s blog was true Jane. Getting the word out to help someone else in the future was her life. She told the good, the bad and the ugly. It was a journey that she shared with a passion and conviction that was truly amazing. I don’t think there are too many people who could go through when she went though and post it for the world to see. Amazing.

I believe resiliency was Jane’s middle name. Jane was one of the most resilient people I have ever known especially when cancer found her. I remember the phone call when she told me she had breast cancer. I never heard the words I’m not going to make it. I heard I’m going to fight this with all my strength. She would bounce back time and time again only finally saying it was over when the cancer had ravished her body. Knowing it was time to say her good-byes she did so with a grace not many people possess.

You can’t talk about Jane without discussing faith. Jane had such a deep faith. She knew she was going to go to see her Awesome God and that someday we all be reunited with her. One of Jane’s Blog posts had the following: Happy Moments, Praise God, Difficult Moments, Seek God, Quiet Moments, Worship God, Painful Moments, Trust God, Every Moment, Thank God.

I thank God every moment of every day for letting Jane McGregor Knotts Kaminske into my life and showing me the way to live life to the fullest. Jane, I love you and you are forever in my heart! Mary Lou

THANKS BECKY FOR READING THE EULOGY I WROTE FOR MY SISTER JANE AT HER FUNERAL!!!

2009-04-06T16:04:00.002-04:00

TO OUR DEAR JANE: U WERE AN AWESOME WIFE TO BARRY,MOTHER TO TIM, DAUGHTER TO KAY AND DOUG, SISTER TO EILEEN,MAUREEN,AND DOUGIE,DAUGHTER-IN-LAW TO JIM AND KAY,AUNT TO SEVERAL,AND AN AWESOME FRIEND TO SO MANY PEOPLE. WOW !
As Jane always felt that once the plan was known the task would be easier. In preparation for my visit a couple weeks ago I presented Jane,Barry,and Tim with this letter below to say goodbye. I wanted to live up to my expectation of being the boss as she would call me.
I just want to share a few experiences with all of u in which my sister Jane was a part of. Well to begin March 3, 1956-I become the middle sibling as Eileen is 6 and I am 3. I would like to remember the Winchendon days where mom and dad made us go swimming at the Clarke Building and the water seemed so cold-dad burning leaves any time of year on the side of the road-he had the whole neighborhood involved-our camp where homemade icecream was made with big chunks of chocolate pieces-looking for the lost horse mom was watching for a year-going to the Rod/and Gun club with dad and watching someone get a fishhook stuck in their head-eating ice cream at Silver Ranch sitting on the wooden post-fishing with Gram and Pa at the little brook next to their house-visiting Gramma Knotts-we called her the garbage can as she never would waste food at the apartment with the toilet that had the long pull down chain to flush. 1960-1965-We live on the beautiful Island of Nantucket where u started your friendship with Mary Lou-u were 4 when this started. These days included hours of play at the State Police Barracks where Mary Lou lived where we would sneak upstairs to see if any troopers were there-tag team,kick ball etc-going to Cisco beach and almost drowning with the undertow-Children’s beach with the stupid ice cold swimming lessons-thurston’s banana splits on Sunday’s-jeep rides where bucky fell off into the pucker brush-dad cooking lobsters late at night when mom got home at midnoc-the old hammock from the navy and dad pulling us on rope on sleds behind the jeep as Nantucket had no sliding hills. 1965-Doug is born-We said mom had rust in her system as he had the red hair and it had been 10 years since u were born. 1965-we head to Medway where u worked at Medway Savings and started the Now Account Checking System-even now u remember peoples account numbers-u meet Rex Trailor-u dance on the tables for eileen’s dates. 1976-wwe have our second home on the Cape. Now Barry comes into the picture-1979-Bonnie and Don set u 2 up for a date-the heritage house date,cape cod times newspaper/Barry’s red car and love. Memories of u living at the rental where the landlord would sneak in and dilute your liquor. Marriage 1980.. In 1985 U move to Long Island and we enjoy the Orient Point Ferry rides, half price este lauder products-trips on the train into the city to see the live plays-we would hide the money in our shoes so we would not get robbed. 1991-Tim is born and we are there that day. 2002-Then Pennsylvania-God’s country-amish buggies-fresh air-deer and turkeys in the back yard. U develop so many new friends and u always say u love the area so much. 2004- a bump in the road but something positive comes of Jane’s need for a blog-her open personal experience enlightens so many individuals. She supports Barry with his bump in the road at the same time. Through out the years u have maintained your friendship with Mary Lou-u and Barry have raised a fine handsome son Tim who resembles Prince Harry-a son who makes so many proud-to Penn State College he will go. U and Barry have endured a relationship-29 years married. I just want to thank u for my sister, for u Barry and Tim for being there for my sister and for always thinking that POSITIVE energy is so important and just remembering that random acts of kindness go a long way!! As I told u you are OUR AMERICAN IDOL. For now your pain is gone and u are with your awesome God and we will all be together in the end. Adios moe,family,and friends. Now u know the mystery as we always have said.
THANK YOU BECKY AND YOUR PERSONAL WORDS U ADDED MADE ME CRY WHEN I LISTENED TO THE SERVICE CD!! thanks for being one of my sister Jane's many friends in God's country adios moe

GATHERING MY THOUGHTS FOR POSTING TOMORROW OF THE PAST FEW DAYS!!

2009-04-06T13:14:00.002-04:00

Well my dad this am calls and is wondering why no blog entries!! Well dad u know we have no computer on the Cape!! Thanks for the picture Jody!! I need to organize my brain thoughts and will post tuesday for sure. Thanks for the cards personally sent to me and gene!! Catch u later and adios!! Mary lou even had a dream of Jane the other night!! love to all,moe

Thank you........

2009-04-06T11:10:00.002-04:00

I want to thank all the walkers that did the Relay for Jane on Saturday. She would have been so happy knowing you were all there for her. I sure am...

Jane's sister,

Eileen

jane and barry have taught me my computer skills

2009-04-02T10:13:00.001-04:00

Well it took me quite a while to post her obituary-the newspaper had the picture in the paper but not in the on line version and we all wanted u to see. Since I don't have the actual paper I scanned a blog picture of her and did some cropping so all of u could see!!! Jane would like extra pj's showing we know. After this we definately need to get high speed internet!! adios moe

JANE'S OBITUARY IN TODAY'S MILFORD DAILY NEWS

2009-04-02T10:00:00.004-04:00

NEW WILMINGTON, PA Jane Knotts Kaminske, of New Wilmington, Pa., passed away in her home on Saturday, March 28, 2009. She was 53 years old. She leaves her husband of 29 years, Barry James Kaminske. The daughter of Douglas and Kathleen Marie (Turner) Knotts, she was born March 3, 1956, in Winchendon, Mass. Graduating from Medway High School, she was a member of the National Honor Society. Since moving to Pennsylvania, Mrs. Kaminske was employed by First National Bank in Hermitage, Pa., and Westminster College in New Wilmington. Previously, she was head teller at Medway Savings Bank and employed at Cape Cod Five Cents Savings Bank. She was a member of the St. Camillus Catholic Church in New Castle, Pa., where she was a Eucharistic minister. In addition to her husband, she is survived by her parents of Centerville; a son, Timothy of New Wilmington, Pa.; a brother, Douglas E. Knotts Jr. and his wife Brenda of Medway; two sisters, Eileen Bouliane and her husband Roger of Woonsocket, R.I., and Maureen Zicuis and her husband Gene of Holliston. A memorial service will be at 11 a.m. Saturday, April 4, at Christ the King Parish, 3 Jobs Fishing Road, Mashpee. Memorial contributions may be made to the
American Cancer Society. You may visit her blog site at jkaminske.blogspot.com.

A SUNNY DAY FOR JANE'S SERVICE

2009-04-01T21:50:00.000-04:00

Becky, a best friend of Jane wrote to me the following-the service went well. i am so honored to have read the eulogy i can't express that enough. i did it with many tears but with heartfelt love for jane. Thank u so much . Jody Kind , another best friend wrote also- Today the service for her was held in New Wilmington, and it was a glorious service. The sun was shining brightly, and all in the church felt Jane was beaming from ear to ear seeing all her friends and "family" from NW there. It was a victory celebration indeed - victorious that she is now with her Lord and Savior. Barry wrote on his facebook-I never knew how special my wife was to so many people,it is just humbling

CALLING HOURS TO REMEMBER JANE

2009-04-01T17:09:00.002-04:00

Lots of beautiful memory filled pictures around-JoeAnne another friend writes. Jody also wrote- Everything looked wonderful - there was a slideshow of photos, as well as a beautiful bulletin board that I believe Lisa and Marion (?) placed depicting Jane and her various blog entries. It was really touching. The display case also had beautiful photos of Jane. I swear she hadn't aged ..... She looked at peace in her "Cancer Sucks" t shirt and pretty colorful jacket. Very appropriate.Just know that there is a lot of LOVE and PEACE in New Wilmington today. Lisa another close friend wrote-Just got home from the viewing and everything went very well. Your dad got to meet a lot of people who he has heard about but never met. Barry couldn't believe how many people showed up! He just kept saying it over and over. He realizes how many people loved Jane and love him and Tim. And I got to have great conversations with Dougie. Patti and I decided we are going to make a trip your way this summer to eat at his restaurant and see you guys. THANKS FOR BEING THE EYES AND EARS FOR US YESTERDAY adios moe the boss as jane called me

Rev. Lisa Hickman's Sermon for Jane M. Kaminske-Thanks for sending for Jane's other love-her blog!!

2009-04-01T14:19:00.001-04:00

Today I want to think about Jane’s FIRST lecture.

While she loved the college atmosphere and her colleagues at Westminster, Jane didn’t have the opportunity to teach until we all gathered by her side in these years of her illness. We’ve wanted to take her class.

And Oh, the lessons we’ve learned…

The first lesson was the hardest, and I can’t really say it from the pulpit, perhaps you saw it crossstiched in her living room, or a photo on her blog – the best way I can say it here is that CANCER STINKS.

Jane didn’t dwell on this lesson, but recognizing the reality of the illness before her and its dire effects were foundational for taking the next step.

For Jane, one of the next steps involved a blog – making public her struggle – but even more so, finding community for her grief.

We all logged in to this digital classroom – where each day we learned something of resilience and grace, longing and laughter.

The lessons often involved Tim – I have such a great kid – Jane would say…
Or Barry…he takes such pride in taking care of me, I can’t believe I’m married to a man like this…

Many of the lessons involved walks through the halls of hospitals, office visits, that learning that takes place in circumstances we would never choose.

CANCER STINKS.

I hope one of our high school kids here offering support for Tim – will pursue a path of research that makes progress in this area of science and medicine. Go into the lab, meet patients, go to med school, become a nurse practitioner – and find a cure, bring some comfort to this disease which is one of life’s toughest lessons.

The learning didn’t stop there…

The next word Jane would write on her chalkboard of life would be FORWARD…

I understand this word made its way into the musical notes – thanks and congrats from the parents at the end of the guide –

For Jane, FORWARD, meant that life brings obstacles – CANCER STINKS, is the first. But for Jane, each obstacle was addressed with the simple prayer FORWARD. This word would slip its way into conversations with friends, comments on the blog, and encouragement to Tim and Barry as they fought this battle together.

It’s a word I’ll take with me.

With that word girding her up, Jane was ready for the next point in her lecture to all of us:

NO REGRETS.

Jane did absolutely everything she wanted to do.
She made lists and she completed them.
She made chocolate chip cookies with Maureen.
She planted gardens with Patty.

Can you live your life without regret was the challenge she placed before us…

And why is that so hard for us to do? We retreat into shame, or guilt, or fear, or depression – succumbing to circumstance instead of rising to the occasion.

NO REGRETS doesn’t mean live life without regard or respect for others, but it meant for her to be in conversation with God about your hopes for this life – because life is short and every minute is precious.

Some of Jane’s lectures were ONE WORD – wouldn’t that make a great class period? She would put the word up on the board – and then encourage us to go LIVE WITH THIS WORD –

So words like

Strength
Courage
Generosity
Gratitude
Community
Laughter

Werent’ talked about, they were experienced.

Jane would call from a shopping trip and say, “I am having the best day. I’m with Tim. I just ate a stromboli. What a great day to be alive. I’m having a GREAT day.”

If only all of us could live with such delight.

We could go on for hours about her laughter –

Her nicknames for others…
The laughter that trickled out over the phone and onto the blog –
For the brain surgeon, who had great DIMPLES, but Jane in her confusion post brain surgery came up with another creative body part to compliment him on…

We LAUGHED.

These words we have learned – and the family would echo their appreciation for how these words take particular shape here in this community –

GENEROSITY
GRATITUDE
COMMUNITY.

Jane, we have learned so much from you.
I am rooting for an honorary degree for you from this institution across the street that you so loved.

Jane VALUED education.

You hoped for nothing more than to get Timmy into a great college – and you did.
Tim, you will learn amazing things in your coursework – you already have – philosophy classes last summer, Ayn Rand for your senior project now –

But you will learn nothing as profound as what you have learned from your mother.

But what we loved learning from Jane is that life is bigger than a classroom. The last thing Jane said to me is when you lose hope, go watch the flowers grow.

Nature was just as much Jane’s classroom –

And with the love of the garden she had –

Close by passing out some simple seeds –

That these lessons would take root in your heart and life and GROW.

This is really Paul’s prayer from Ephesians – that we would become rooted and grounded in love –

Close in prayer…

Get the walking shoes on-way back Jane posted this picture!!

2009-04-01T08:51:00.003-04:00

Tomorrow will be another day for me to post on the past 2 days

2009-03-31T21:54:00.002-04:00

right now my mind is too tired and i do know u bloggers are waiting!! sleep tight and my dad said jane would say "see ya" adios moe weird i dreamt of her twice today-one dream i couldn't find her in a group of people and it was so frustrating and the other was better-I was talking to dad and we heard her talking as a third party on the phone-it was so weird-on a power nap this afternoon-jane loved the power naps!

IN MEMORY OF JANE,IN HONOR OF BARRY!!

2009-03-31T07:14:00.001-04:00

Good Morning.I just got done reading the blog. Wow! I cried and cried. I have a favor to ask of you. Could you post the following on the blog since I don't know how? A few of us thought this would be wonderful.Relay for Life Memorial Walk - Saturday, April 4 at 11:00 am - Wesminster CollegeWe all know that Jane was so excited that Tim would be able to walk again this year after missing last year. Unfortunately, he will be in New England for the Memorial Service. Anyone who would like to join together in a few laps in memory of Jane, please join us this Saturday. 11:00 is when the memorial service will be going on in New England. We thought this would be our support for Barry and Tim from back home.Thanks. from lisa pearson one of jane's many friends!!!

MEMORIES OF JANE TO BE SHARED TODAY!!

2009-03-30T10:02:00.004-04:00

Please join Jane Kaminske's family and friends today at The Smith Funeral Home,310 West Neshannock Ave, New Wilmington, Pa. from 2-4 and 7 to 9pm. A funeral service will be held Tuesday at 9am at the New Wilmington Presbyterian Church,South Market Street,New Wilmington. On these days may u also perform a random act of kindness for someone as I promised her I would request and pass the word of this blogsite on. Jane would I am sure allow HUGS AND TEARS at this gathering/passing phase of her life. Thanks to all adios moe the boss as she always called me!! Your concerns will help especially Barry and Tim. Please no flowers. You can donate to the Cancer Society in her name or Susan Komen for the Cause

"i feel like i lost a job"

2009-03-29T23:18:00.002-04:00

My job now is to pass the blog word on and today I sent an email to work for a posting for all to read in regards to a promise to Jane we had made. I specifically asked for my work friends to read some comments as they would understand how much my sister Jane meant to me and her family and large circle of friends. I find myself today still trying to believe she is gone-after all I have seen so many pass in my nursing career. Today was like I lost my job-my sister didn't tell me what the day was like-that I needed to post for her.For the past 4 plus years I have been going hand in hand with her on the cancer journey like so many other family and new and old friends starting with the first relay walk when she had just had chemo and was as bald as a cucumber but she held her head ever so high that day and everyday until her last breath on this earth. She once told me that u get it if u have been through cancer-u appreciate every second in time-u never have a harsh word for anybody. I also promised her that I would make sure people are reminded that random acts of kindness go a long way. Another promise was that I would be there for Tim and Barry for Tim's High School graduation in June and the party also. Well thanks to all for your heartfealt soul searching. I think we should put all the tears together and this summer there won't be a water shortage. Of course right now the Kleenex factory is empty. And yes Jane some laughter of past memories will get us thru this journey in memory of u this week. adios the whole family clan who loves u all

Jane..You are my angel now.....

2009-03-28T15:58:00.002-04:00

All my love is in heaven with you now. I know you will be the brightest star in heaven watching over all of us. I love you with my whole heart........Eileen

JANE YOU ARE NOW WITH YOUR AWESOME GOD!!

2009-03-28T12:39:00.001-04:00

With tears streaming down my face I write this blog entry. This morning around 10 am Jane passed with Barry,Tim, and her dad at her bedside. When I spoke to her yesterday had wanted to ask her how to present this time on her precious blog, but her physical strength was limited yesterday. This is a short poem from Brenda/Doug/Steph that was given to them at some time and it goes as follows:

JANE

God saw you getting tired
and a cure was not to be
so he put his arms around you
and whispered "come to me".
With tearful eyes we watched you
and saw you pass away.
Although we loved you dearly
we could not make you stay.

She left us quietly
her thoughts unknown
But she left us memories,
We're proud to own.
So treasure her Lord,
In your garden of rest,
For here on earth, she was the best.

Cape Cod will be ever more special to us::: We'll see you there!! We love you-

Thank you Barry for caring for our daughter,sister,mother,friend etc. Tim what a beautiful son you are and she loved your quartet singing yesterday. And dad how fortunate you were to spend the last few days with Jane your youngest daughter. As we always have said when someone dies--They now know the mystery!!. adios moe

A GREAT BIG THANK U FROM JANE'S DAD FOR HER!!

2009-03-27T13:44:00.003-04:00

would u please post a Thank You Thank You to the School Administration, all included, who ever arranged for the MUSIC MAN QUARTET TO VISIT JANE JUST NOW .The four young men included Tim Kaminske, Tony Gregory, James Gregory, and John Allegro As in the production, they sang without piano or orchestra four of the songs from the production. Jane was able to sit up and enjoy the presentation.As for Barry and I we have to compliment the seventy performers and everyone for a GREAT evenings entertainment. Jane's dad-doug

JANE'S SENSE OF HUMOR PRICELESS!!

2009-03-26T19:28:00.003-04:00

Well this am I was able to talk briefly with Jane as she is exhausted. Had talked to dad first and then to her. At the end of her conversation, had told her to hand the phone back to dad and with her honest sense of humor she says"as Johnny Carson used to say here's daddy". Busy at the house today with the delivery of the bed. At this time Patti with Jane as Tim is cranking out the tunes at the High School Musical of The Music Man with Barry and Dad watching him. I told Patti to tell Jane that there are 28 entries today of what the blog means to each person. I could hear her say WOW in the background. Jane settled downstairs and is watching Tv. Patty heading to eat some of those scallops. Hopefully tomorrow Jane will be able to hear the blog entries. Tonight is not the time. Well keep on posting and that's all for tonight folks!! thanks and love u all adios moe

Have a favor please for all Jane's bloggin buddies!!

2009-03-25T21:21:00.003-04:00

Today was a busy day at the Kaminske's. A visit by the Hospice nurse this pm assured that Jane is comfortable as she had requested to be. Just spoke to Dad who said that off and on today Jane was alert,but basically bedbound all day with limited awake periods. He said tomorrow he would try and have Jane listen to the blog entries as he reads them. I would like u all to post what Jane's blog MEANS to each of u and how it has touched each of your lives!!Also a prayer wave for comfort for Jane and also strength for Jane,dad,Barry, and Tim. Thanks and adios moe

"A SPECIAL MOMENT IN TIME"

2009-03-24T16:30:00.002-04:00

A SPECIAL UPS delivery today to the Kaminskes!!And what would that be? a various edible mollusks with 2 curved,deeply grooved, hinged shells also known as a scallop-we used to open them in the cellar when we lived on Nantucket! and also several large lively edible sea crustaceans with four pairs of legs and a pair of pincers-lobsters!! And things do come in threes they say!! And a male parent-jane's dad!! Life is good at this time and as Jane would say what more could we ask for? And we all know who will eat every body of those lobsters-dad always does!! I am so impressed at the number of blog postings!! adios for now and thanks to all" moe the boss on vacation as dad is the real boss-hope he left the briefcase home Jane!! p.s. it is nice to have someone in the family that knows where to get fresh fish-little brother doug-brenda,and steph!!

The bottom line is-------------------

2009-03-23T22:43:00.003-04:00

It is what it is! I once heard these words within the past years and they have stuck in my brain since that day. Don't ask me why.

My fathers comes for his visit tomrorow. Am so looking forward to that. And then my brother comes the following Sunday, they return home together

Hospice jere tomorrow.

Typed by self. long process.

It's Jane....

2009-03-22T21:07:00.002-04:00

I am very greatful for all of your concern but am finding it very difficult to type and concentrate
Doesn't seem worth it. Lets try this out. If you need to contact me, just leave you're comment here and I will get back to you as soon as I can. This will save my energy and allow me to rest a bit more.

Jane (with Tim typing)

Moe's update for our awesome Jane!!

2009-03-22T15:56:00.002-04:00

Jane did call me friday night after she had gotten up and Patti actually had spent some time with her. She was more comfortable and able to walk about in the kitchen etc. Told her I would catch up with her saturday when I got to the Cape. Hopped on dad's computer and noticed no blog entry -we all look for it-a sign she might be feeling a little better!! So last night after 815p I called Barry and he said Jane was in bed all day-when she woke up had no idea what day it was,where she was etc. The pain was better but continues with the abdominal pain and Amy the hospice nurse was heading over then to increase the morphine drip so she would be more comfortable. At 730this am she had told me to call her cell phone as she hears it beep and knows there has been a call-left a message and right away she mentioned she felt better, tim and barry were at church. I told her everyone looks for her to post on the blog and she said she might try. I find it sad when I see no posting. When I was at Jane's I had told her I would get together some pics for a collage. Well last night while mom with her dementia is sitting on her bed, i am going thru tons of old pictures of our familly-jane on nantucket holding dougie as an infant, jane, barry and tim in the hospital when he was born etc-u know the rest-tons of memories-the tears are streaming down my face and mom asks"are u crying moe and i say yes and tell her jane is sick and that is it in her dementia world. We all say that it is nice she won't remember this ./Catch up with her with a cell phone hello even if she doesn't return call. I hope she is more comforatble tonight. Me and Eileen tried to put tims pic on blog but could not get it to work!! Rest up Kaminskes as the real boss DAD comes tuesday pm. thanks to all and adios moe

Jane is more comfortable today!!

2009-03-20T18:02:00.002-04:00

I talked to Barry this afternoon and he mentioned that Jane is on the constant morphine drip with the as needed push button for more pain med if needed. Jane had been out of be a couple times today-was able to go up and down the stairs by self. Barry was planning to make Jane some shrimp for supper. Hopefully Jane will be able to post later. She will call me later as she had gone upstairs for a nap-is using the ativan for relaxation too. Well what can I say but the usual adios moe thank u hospice

"please pain go away!"

2009-03-20T05:17:00.002-04:00

After phone tag with Jane she called me at 935pm. Was in bed all day with nasty pain-had just gotten up. Waiting for the hospice nurse to come within the hour with probably the morphine pain medicine pump for her portacath iv route. Please just pray for the pump route to lessen her pain. Did mention receiving some Relay for Life cancer donations in the mail. Thanks to Barry and Tim for being with Jane and her friends too. Off to work I go and will catch up wilth her this afternoon. Adios moe

Bye Eileen

2009-03-18T22:44:00.002-04:00

This a.m. I woke up with a different part of my body in pain. Abdominal much better, but back shoulder area hurts a lot. Called Amy after I took my usual meds for the day. Let the pills do their thing and there was no imrprovement. Once again she tweaked my meds, am wondering if this is just the way it's going to be. In bed most of the day.

Yes, Eileen left on time. I did't cry cause that woud cause more pain. Thanks!

My typing is very slow. Am making lots of errors and fixing them before I send them. Slow process.

Next family to come is Dad and brother Doug, separate times. Looking forward to an actual hug.

Eileen heads home Wednesday. Thanks

2009-03-17T23:45:00.003-04:00

I haven't felt good since I woke up yesterday a.m. Am sore in the intestinal area. Amy, my hospice nurse, has adjusted my medication a bit. Probably has something to do with medication I'm on. This week I've noticed that just climbing to the 3rd floor takes the wind out of me. So she suggested that I need someone to follow me up the stairs holding my portable oxygen. And yes, if need be take one stair at a time. On the personal side, I've had bowels moved along with gas, which I've been told are good things. Have to put the blame somewhere, so will put it on medication.

As you may have already received we're approaching another Relay for Life. I'm atttempting to clean up my address book so I apologize if you get the email twice. Hit me with a wet noodle!

Eileen heads home tomorrow p.m. Will certainly miss her. She's been a great help around here. Along with being Mrs. Clean she's been a special friend when I most needed one. At times silence was just what I needed! And I wholeheartedly appreciated every minute she was here.
Thanks!

PS. Welcome home, Rick F. Am sure just being in your own home will work wonders. No place like home. Can't wait to see you.

PSS. I may not always say it, but Thanks to everyone.

Happy Birthday, Pretty Patti

2009-03-17T00:00:00.001-04:00

Need I say anything more....

Born on St. Patty's day.................

Not feeling great today

2009-03-16T20:43:00.002-04:00

I woke up this morning not feeling too good. I called my Hospice nurse Amy and she was here in a flash. I had stomach cramps and the pain level was up there again. They are changing my meds around again, so I hope they work. We went out to dinner tonight for Pretty Patti's birthday tomorrow.

Relay for Life 4/4/09

2009-03-14T20:41:00.001-04:00

Yes, it's that time again. Last year Tim did not participate in the Relay for Life but this is his last year in High School and he's looking forward to it. It's on April 4, 2009 at Westminster College where I used to work up until last year. Numerous health issues have entered my life since I last wrote a group email. I continue to blog my life which is an open book. The website is listed above. To sum it up: I've had chest resection 11/07, 2 bleeding brain tumors 4/08 and 12/08, and pleuresy of the lungs (cancer) (surgery involved) most recently. I've lost track where the cancer has gone. I have most recently decided to stop treatment and join hospice. Maintain quality of life rather than quantity of life. A decision I don't regret. My latest chemo treatment this month really hit me like a stick. That was it. Barry's cancer continues to stay put, no change in over a year. He's my angel, does all the cooking/grocery shopping and housekeeping. I went on disability last November after working full time through all this Tim continues to be my strength. Excels in his school work. Has been accepted at Penn State/Erie in the fall. Is the 10 with class rank last I knew. Smart kid. I do believe that is how he accepts this crazy life we have placed him in. So, if you wish to make a donation and know my address just mail the ck payable to American Cancer SocietyRelay for Life to me. Otherwise, leave comment and will email the address to you. Again, thanks for all your support.

Another week is done

2009-03-13T22:40:00.002-04:00

Yeah. My father's coming to visit along with my brother. They are traveling separately the end of the month due to my brother's work schedule. Plus my dad will be able to see Tim perform in Music Man which is an added treat. Can't wait.

Never left the house today.

Hospice is down to once a week for visits since pain is under somewhat control.

Eileen continues to be a great help with laundry, etc. Never complains, seems to always like to clean. Must be sick.!

Tim had no school today but he was at musical practice all day.

Every day I do some filing. Almost able to see desktop.

Pain level remains at 2-3.

Thanks for continued prayers and thoughts.

TimBa, Myself and Barry on one of our many bike trips. This one was to Killington, VT. Always had a good time! Nice memories will never fade.

2009-03-12T22:42:00.001-04:00

What is hospice?

2009-03-11T23:15:00.001-04:00

The Hospice Concept
Hospice is a concept of caring derived from medieval times, symbolizing a place where travelers, pilgrims and the sick, wounded or dying could find rest and comfort. The contemporary hospice offers a comprehensive program of care to patients and families facing a life threatening illness. Hospice is primarily a concept of care, not a specific place of care.
Hospice emphasizes palliative rather than curative treatment; quality rather than quantity of life. The dying are comforted. Professional medical care is given, and sophisticated symptom relief provided. The patient and family are both included in the care plan and emotional, spiritual and practical support is given based on the patient’s wishes and family’s needs. Trained volunteers can offer respite care for family members as well as meaningful support to the patient.
Hospice affirms life and regards dying as a normal process. Hospice neither hastens nor postpones death. Hospice provides personalized services and a caring community so that patients and families can attain the necessary preparation for a death that is satisfactory to them.
Those involved in the process of dying have a variety of physical, spiritual, emotional and social needs. The nature of dying is so unique that the goal of the hospice team is to be sensitive and responsive to the special requirements of each individual and family.
Hospice care is provided to patients who have a limited life expectancy. Although most hospice patients are cancer patients, hospices accept anyone regardless of age or type of illness. These patients have also made a decision to spend their last months at home or in a homelike setting.

_______________

From the internet.

Maureen goes home today..

2009-03-11T19:08:00.004-04:00

Maureen left this a.m. to go home. Eileen is staying until next Wednesday to keep me company.
Thanks to Roger he's doing fine these past days. He has beginning signs of alzheimers but is still able to watch out for himself with guidance. They have a system of calling each other at same time each day just to make sure he is OK. And it seems to be working perfectly.

And I must admit that I did not shed many tears when Maureen left with Barry and Eileen for airport. I think that is due to doing what I wanted to do in the amount of time I had. With no regrets.

Have found about 3 notes left behind by my sister. She likes to hide them, and then I have fun trying to find them. Keeps me on the alert!

Linda F.-Saw pix of your hubby's birthday celebration at Rehab. Center. Glad you were able to at least be human for some time. Looking forward to seeing/meeting him when he gets out of rehab. cause I feel that I already know him.

What more can I say?

2009-03-10T22:55:00.003-04:00

This morning my hospice RN Amy stopped by. We are now on a weekly schedule but if needed she's a phone call away. While I was suffering all those months, she made me feel comfortable by just spending time with me and going through my meds to find the perfect recipe. Compared to my previous pain levels of 10, having a level of 2-3 presently is wonderful. And I think that pain is a result of my chest plate. Again, no complaints.

Well, my sister Maureen is leaving in the morning to go home. As my pictures said, having her make original toll house cookies was on the top of my list. And boy were they good. My intention is to freeze some (yeah..) for a rainy day. Have you ever eaten one frozen? Even better that way. Eileen will leave in a couple of days.

It's been a great time visiting with everyone. I can honestly say that I've done everything I wanted to do. (exception: no Cooke's fresh fried shrimp.) Perhaps I can put that in my bucket list. One more trip to the Cape for fried shrimp. A girl can dream, can't she? Another word to use would be FORWARD.

PS Happy Birthday, Rick F.! Hope to see you at the Music Man.

During every visit my vitals are checked. This is being done by Amy. (and no, my leg is not amputated!)

2009-03-10T22:45:00.000-04:00

Top photo is Lisa, hospice social worker who visits me monthly. Then I took Maureen to see Joe Ann at the College.

2009-03-10T22:42:00.000-04:00

Jody and Ann L. stopped by for a visit. You know, you can't beat friends and family! Then we went to lunch.

2009-03-10T22:38:00.000-04:00

I'm downloading pix to my blog, the 3 musketeers with St. Patty's ties, and "would you please scratch my head.!"

2009-03-10T22:18:00.000-04:00

My only request of Maureen was to have home made toll house cookies, and she pulled through for me. Thanks.

2009-03-10T22:17:00.000-04:00

Today we celebrated our 29th Anniversary.

2009-03-08T22:24:00.002-04:00

This morning I took my sisters to church, and Tim went with Barry. As usual, during the whole service I felt at peace. Nice and calm, relaxed. I try to find something each day that sticks to my soul and I found it during today's sermon.

This is just a brief part of the sermon:

"When we stand firm in God's grace, our hands are free to love others...instead of grasping to things in fear."

How true.

PS. Thanks Calvin for the delicious cupcakes and for your friendship.

PSS. Happy early Birthday Rick F. Am looking forward to seeing you when you get out of rehab. Mark your calendar for the end of March. Music Man is coming to town and I want to see you there.

PSSS. Thanks for allowing me to enjoy yet one more special day.

Happy 29th Anniversary, Barry. Not as good as Cape Cod, but still good.

2009-03-08T22:23:00.000-04:00

Calvin was my secret Valentine. And I could ask him to do something special for me, and of course I chose "make cupcakes." And they were so tasty.

2009-03-08T22:22:00.000-04:00

Once again, family is the best medicine.

2009-03-08T22:20:00.000-04:00

This was taken today after church, with my sisters and Rev. Hawkins. Will write later about his sermon.

2009-03-08T22:18:00.000-04:00

We went out Red Lobster for our anniversary, and we left these behind!

2009-03-08T22:16:00.000-04:00

I miss seeing the deer. Eileen, Tim and myself climbing basement stairs. Hey Moe, do you want a ride on my bike! I'll be careful.

2009-03-07T21:57:00.000-05:00

Thanks to Ensure and to ice cream, I'm slowly regaining the lost lbs.

2009-03-07T21:55:00.000-05:00

I have never seen so many greeting cards in my life. And I appreciate each and everyone of them.

2009-03-07T21:53:00.000-05:00

We all hate to shop, but just had to get out of the house. Had to bring my watch to jewelry store to be fixed. Had been broken for over 2 years.

2009-03-07T21:30:00.000-05:00

Pretty Patti, Me. Eileen and Maureen. I've never seen Patti look bad. Patti and the 3 musketeers.

2009-03-07T21:28:00.000-05:00

Maureen has arrived. After the plane came in they had to make a trip to Costco.

2009-03-07T21:25:00.000-05:00

Prayer blanket made for me by Hospice, Pam. Thanks.

2009-03-07T21:23:00.000-05:00

Please don't pee. I'm not connected. Old one.

2009-03-07T21:22:00.000-05:00

Dad's rhubarb and the white snow drops are popping through. And yes, Mom's sitting stone is still here.

2009-03-07T21:19:00.000-05:00

Our house this morning. Notice no snow is left.

2009-03-07T21:16:00.000-05:00

Barry and Eileen are on the way to airport for Maureen

2009-03-07T10:30:00.000-05:00

The plane was right on schedule. Afterwards they went to wholesale outlet for some food. And I was ready to be paparazzi when they arrived here. So happy to see Maureen. Later the girls went to say hi to Pretty Patti and to give her a couple of hugs. Then it was time to go to local small mall to finally have a jeweler fix my watch. Had only been broken for past 2 years or so.
Guess I am not in any hurry.

Got home and took a nice long nap. Just time for dinner that Barry of course prepared.

Updated blog with lots of pictures. Looking forward to church in a.m. Show 'n tell of my family.
And good friendships are there. By the way, this a.m. I was able to sleep on my right side with very little discomfort. Would say pain level is about 3. Yeah. I can live with that.

The end of a very nice day

2009-03-06T22:56:00.002-05:00

My pain seems to be somewhat under control. Don't get me wrong, there is slight discomfort but compared to just 2 weeks ago it's a dream come true. Thanks to Amy.

As you can see I've finally updated my pictures for everyone to see. Maureen arrives tomorrow morning, she's AKA the "boss." So will have many photo ops while both sisters are here.

And one more thing about last night's solo flute performance that Tim did. Made you realize that he played so good, had to 'cause he was there all by himself. Once more, I was very proud of him.

Hope you enjoyed my pictures. And again thanks to everyone, even if you just are looking at my blog. It's comforting to know you are traveling my travels with me.

Hard to fit all my gifts into one pic. The large card was given to me by the church children's youth group. Notice the green string/ for strength.

2009-03-06T22:53:00.001-05:00

My hospice nurse Amy and me. Notice the crocheted prayer blanket on the recliner. It was made by Pam, a hospice volunteer. And it works.

2009-03-06T22:50:00.000-05:00

We know how to treat houseguests. Take them to WalMart and Chinese buffet!

2009-03-06T22:47:00.000-05:00

Eileen enjoying the fresh air!

2009-03-06T22:46:00.000-05:00

How can anyone feel bad when you have so mnay flowers from so many friends?

2009-03-06T22:43:00.000-05:00

I got more cards for my birthday than any past Christmas'.

2009-03-06T22:41:00.000-05:00

I received so many flowers/goodies for my birthday. All were muchly appreciated. House smells so good!

2009-03-06T22:38:00.001-05:00

Welcome to God's Country, Eileen! Have been anxiously awaiting your visit.

2009-03-06T22:34:00.001-05:00

Bev D. stopped by with some goodies, and got a chance to meet my sister Eileen. Eileen enjoys her laptop while looking outside at same time.

2009-03-06T22:31:00.000-05:00

Barry looks like he's enjoying himself. Tim sitting with Travis and Solvej at the banquet.

2009-03-06T22:28:00.000-05:00

Tim's last band banquet. Eileen, Joey C. (cake eating) and myself. Barry must be eating.

2009-03-06T22:23:00.001-05:00

The boss arrives in less than 24 hrs.!

2009-03-06T11:24:00.002-05:00

Yes, Maureen arrives here tomorrow morning. Am so excited. Will have both of my sisters here at same time.

Off to take some pix to finally post! So check back later to see them.

What a day. Pain level is about a 3

2009-03-05T22:43:00.003-05:00

As Amy left the house, I yelled to her to say that my pain level was about a 3. That is success in itself.

We even went out for Chinese food for lunch, followed by a nap, and then to Tim's chorus concert. And after all of these years playing the flute, it finally paid off with a solo. Couldn't take pix 'cause the lighting is always off. But the image will remain in my head for as long as I live.
And yes, I did shed some tears. Tears of joy for his accomplishment. Good tears. It was the first time Barry was able to see him in the chorus, plus Eileen also went.

One thing I forgot to talk about. Eileen took me to do errands this a.m. Banks and meds, just the normal. And then I had something pop into my head. Unplanned. I went to the college where I used to work and said hi to my old dept. Couldn't leave before also saying hi to the Prez. and Joe Ann. And I even got a bonus when I went to get my car. A parking ticket! from the college security. As I was going to go back and give the ticket to the Prez., a friend from Admissions Office took it from me and said she would take care of it. I don't sweat the small stuff. All these greetings to my friends made for a nice nap today.

No hospice until Tuesday when the "boss" Maureen will be here to meet her. I thought it would be nice having them introduce themselves to each other since both are R.N.'s.

Calvin, it was nice seeing you tonight. And thanks for caring so much. For a kid you're very caring and it's a pleasure to have met you.

PSS Mary Lou-Is that you in Anguilla! Where's your swimsuit?

Pain has been reduced and am very thankful..

2009-03-05T09:43:00.002-05:00

Amy just left. She's my hospice R.N. Took some pix and will put them on my blog by the end of the day. (believe me). Yesterday she made up a written list of drugs and the times I should be taking them. I only had to add one breakthrough med during the day and I was fine. I did not take that pill in time, the pain had got ahead of me. But you learn from your mistakes.

So for the first time in many months, my pain has been significantly reduced! Some people would say it's a higher pain level, but I seem to tolerate it more and have got used to it. I am so thankful to Amy for working on getting this under control. Sometimes it's just a matter of taking the time and trying things out. Simple thing to do, just takes time.

It's a nice sunny day here. Already 46 degrees at 10 a.m. About to head out to do errands with Barry and Eileen. Tonight we head to chorus concert where Tim will perform a solo on the flute!
Lisa P.-am sure to be medicated so as to be comfortable for the concert. Don't want it to be like the band banquet and figedty (not sure of spelling).

Til later.

2009-03-04T19:56:00.003-05:00

Last night all of us went to Tim's last band banquet. The banquet was nice. Took some pix of Tim and his friends, which you will soon see. I stuck to my guns and never mentioned pain in yesterday's blog. But at the banquet it was back in full steam. And of course I didn't taken anything for it before we left. My right arm area was so uncomfortable, had to feed myself with the left hand to make it easy. The ride home was the longest, and then I immediately popped a pain pill. Was in bed by 11 p.m.

Got up at 8 a.m. when the R.N. Amy from Hospice came for our appt. We went over what pills I had taken, trying to come up with the right recipe. Per my primary doctor I am doubling up on the main pain killer twice a day, and she wrote on a piece of paper a schedule to follow throughout the day with other pills. And in between pills as needed there are other meds I can take. Hard to imagine that this was just her 2nd week here. We are heading into the right direction. Within the hour of doubling up on the one med before she left, Eileen noticed that facial expression had calmed down. Not as tense. Remember this is Hospice's goal: maintain pain control for quality of life. This afternoon I did need to take a "break through" med 'cause I was in a bit of discomfort. For me, it's much easier to follow a note with the times to take pills is clearly written. PS Amy, thanks for reading my blog!

The company that deals with delivering oxygen for Hospice brought their tank to us shortly after Amy left. Very similar. It's just that since I'm under their care they want to have control of it. No problem with me.

Once again, I got mucho grando cards in the mail today. More than if it was a holiday. Am so happy. I had Eileen take pix as I was opening them. Tomorrow I will line up all my flowers to have picture taken of me and them.

Starting next week Amy will stop by once a week, but with a phone call she will be here at a drop of a dime. We're hoping that we get a right recipe for pain management. I did find out that she can request a pain patch via my primary doctor as an option. Plus we have my double port to use. They will also flush my port monthly. It's nice having someone to be your advocate through difficult times.

One more thing. Ronee C. stopped by with this huge card which the little kids at the Presby
Church made for me. Sort of a paper quilt. Very nice of them and the college kids to make for me. I continue to love this community.

Well, that's it for now.

PS The College where I worked sent me a beautiful plant along with a CD stating birthday greetings. I just listened to it. Here are some comments: Anyone wants to visit me, that would be great. Just call a day ahead as I don't know how I will feel the next day. Love company.
And yes, went to store today and bought a chocolate cake and chocolate frosting. Already had ice cream and toppings delivered yesterday. One more thing: Rick, you have such a great voice.
That's why I like sitting next to you in church. You make me sound so much better than I am!
Perhaps Sunday both my sisters will be able to come to church to see first hand what I am seeing. That would be heaven.

My brother Doug...

2009-03-04T10:42:00.002-05:00

Happy Birthday....

2009-03-03T16:09:00.002-05:00

March 3 and it's my BIRTHDAY

2009-03-03T09:46:00.003-05:00

Yes, I love birthdays. Especially since I was first diagnosed with the C word. No bad words today.

I want to tell you that my sister's plane has left Providence on time this a.m. Has a 2 1/2 hr delay in Philly and arrives here at 2 p.m. I can't wait. Nice and sunny here, just cold.

I received so many comments this week, along with cards and just words of comfort. I appreciate each one of them. And to think that some are from Ann L. support blog (another survivor/fighter) and my sister Maureen telling her workers, all made for so many good wishes.

Thanks! Keep them coming..

PS Over 38000 people have viewed my blog since last April! Wowee..

'HAPPY BIRTHDAY JANE'

2009-03-03T07:23:00.003-05:00

I just read in the paper that today also in history besides your birth on March 3rd-that "The Star-Spangled Banner" became the national anthem and Alexander Graham Bell was born-wow three important happenings!!! Enjoy the day to all and lets start a Happy Birthday Celebration Wave!!!!!!!!!!!! adios moe

Eileen's visit being delayed due to snow storm

2009-03-01T20:45:00.002-05:00

Eileen just called to tell me that she won't be here tomorrow. East coast expecting a Nor'Easter, up to 15 inches of snow. NYC and Boston are being hit. So she'll hopefully just be delayed one day which will be my actual birthday.

Talking about birthdays. I met Lisa H. when I entered the church and gave her my usual hug.
She reads my blog so she knew what happenings were going to please me this week. After the prayers for people who are ill/having surgery/or just lost their job she had the congregation sing "Happy Birthday to Jane Kaminske." I don't know about you but I have never heard that happen before during a service. So many people approached me afterwards to personnally wish me a Happy Birthday. Plus she mentioned it was our anniversary on the 8th. Now this was a special day, one of many. Little things-mean so much bigger when you are dealing with illness or anything difficult.

Well, day after tomorrow will be so special now. Eileen arrives in time for an actual birthday hug. Can't wait.

Thanks to all for your support

2009-02-28T20:11:00.003-05:00

Believe me when I say this, it took me over 1 hour to read all the comments on this blog the other day. And I wanted to thank each one of you who read and/or commented this blog. So many new people/friends sent such inspiring words. From my niece Stephanie with the simple words "I love you Aunt Jane' to a person I worked with many years ago Renee. And I can't miss out on Calvin, my Valentine Angel who took the time to bring over a card along with a crocheted green rope that he made for me, symbolizing my strength as I go this new journey. And I have received many cards in the mail (much thanks to my sister's crew at her hospital). I am especially overwhelmed. Every comment brought a tear as I read them. Good tears as I am so inspired and thankful to all of you.

I was in a bit of pain today. Now I'm going to replace a pill I took last night, with another. Trying to find a good recipe. Day 2 of the decadron. Am praying that is my solution. I do think I will make it to church. Such positive energy there for me. I'ts only 90 minutes.

Busy and great week(s) are on their way. Eileen arrives March 2 via airplane, and my BIRTHDAY is March 3. I have always enjoyed my birthdays, but ever since being diagnosed with Cancer ever so much. You get a deep appreciation for the little things around you. And then "Moe" the boss arrives. And as you may know our anniversary is March 8.

Alot of social happenings coming that include Tim. On my birthday his band banquet will be held. I play it day by day on how I'm feeling. So, up in the air for that. And later in the week he's doing a flute solo in a chorus. He's the only one that will be doing that. Am very proud of him. Not the perfect person, but who is? The way I look at it, if you take the time to care for a person that's what matters.

Enough for now. Check back tomorrow. And continue to pray for my symptoms to calm down.
I just feel better knowing that I am not getting any more poison into my system. And I do expect to look forward to seeing Tim in his musical at the end of the month or when he does his solo on the flute. And for once in his lifetime, Barry can see him in all.

Race against cancer car......

2009-02-28T14:04:00.003-05:00

Roger took this so I could put on blog. This is the Foxwood's car that races at Thompson. Can't wait to see you Monday...Love you all

Sunday

2009-02-28T00:52:00.001-05:00

PS. If I feel like I did today, I'll be in church. Been too long since I've been there.

Please work for me decadron. Not expecting a miracle, but will accept it.

2009-02-28T00:42:00.003-05:00

The decadron seems to be working, so I am going to continue to be promising. It was done originially by IV which is quicker than pill form. Now its a matter of trying to find what works/doesn't work. Last night out of desperation I took 3 pills that I had not taken in a while.
Now to undo what I did. I have a chart to follow.My pain returned at about 9-10 pm.

A hospice RN Amy worked with me today. Each day they are coming I can give them my shopping list of health drinks and puddings, to build my system up. Taste good.

And one of my blogger buddies knows my hostice called Wendy. Small world. Very nice.

Lots to update you on, but I have lots of time.

a sneek peek as jane will blog!!

2009-02-27T12:27:00.001-05:00

and there is a god and some prayers have been answered as the pain is a little less today!! the cards are starting to roll in!! enjoy the day!! adios moe

BARRY SAYS "JANE HAD LOTS OF PAIN TODAY"

2009-02-26T20:35:00.002-05:00

I just had a chat with Barry and he said Jane had lots of pain today and was asleep at this time. A hospice member had come to the house this pm and brought some DECADRON for Jane to take-she was on top of the world when she took before!! Hopefully it will kick in and get rid of some of the pain too. Jane basically hangs out in the house. She also has coughing fits where she might cough up blood. Last night when I spoke to her she had a spell of the coughing. Well off for now and hopefully we will see her post later-it might take her a while as i think she has been getting lots of emails. I know I have sent her lots of my friends thoughts. Well please get to work Mr. Decadron and put Jane on top of the world as she should be!! good night moe p.s. jane's taste coming back and me and others had realized today that is was not a chemo day-weird after talking about chemo the last 4 years almost. I was sad but also relieved that she would not feel so bad as the treatment couple weeks ago.

Hospice makes a visit today.

2009-02-25T21:10:00.002-05:00

Never in a hundred years would I think I would be writing about hospice for myself. I always admired those people, called them angels on earth.

Too much happened today, my mind is a blur. They will provide me ensure and boost plus, which is something I drink daily. I will have to use their own oxygen, no problem there. Can provide me with anything I will need, now and in the future.

A nurse will stop by 1-2 times a week to check up on me. Wendy and Lisa were today's visitors. Wendy was R.N. and Lisa Case Worker. Their main concern is pain management. If I could have the pain under controlled that would be great.

And yes,, my sisters will be coming. So looking forward to seeing them. I think it was a surprise but the cat is now out of the box.

Hospice is right on my case. Had already contacted oncologist for my records. I have canceled tomorrows appt. with her and told her next week I would reschedule, just to say good bye.

'DATES TO CELEBRATE'

2009-02-25T20:35:00.002-05:00

hey mr. postman!!! a little birdie told me that Jane is having a 53rd birthday this tuesday March 3rd and that Jane and Barry have a 29th wedding anniversary March 8th!! Jane is just heading upstairs to read her blog!!! u go jane and lug the oxygen with u if u need to!! adios as usual moe

'HOSPICE IS THE NEXT JOURNEY'

2009-02-24T19:02:00.002-05:00

I am crying as I write this for Jane,Barry,and Tim. I just spoke to Barry in regards to today's happenings. I did know decisions were to be made by Jane in regards to deciding on further chemo treatment this week. In one email to me she had mentioned this last chemo hit had knocked some of her SPIRIT out-wow oh wow!! Inside my heart i sort of figured she would not do further treatment as she is so exhausted mentally and physically. Barry had said that after todays appointment with family physician the plan would be antibiotics to prevent pneumonia and to proceed with Hospice Care and no more chemo. The appointment will be tomorrow morning with Hospice and decisions will be made as a family. Jane was sleeping when I called but at end of conversation had come down stairs and I could hear her crying that she could not talk now but I did for a few seconds. Barry did tell her that Eileen is coming monday the 2nd and I am coming the 7th and I could hear her saying in background I am so glad they are coming. They will be seeing the Cancer md this week still. Very interesting in looking up the meaning of Hospice at this time-a shelter for travelers!! Let us all help her thru this next journey with the dignity and pride she has always shown. P.S. Dad knows the plan!! Love u lots and can't wait to see u soon!! adios moe People I have cared for with cancer never have really worried about themselves, they worry about those they will leave behind! I told Barry to expect some mail!

This will be the last time I cut my hair.

2009-02-23T22:43:00.000-05:00

It's only hair! And Tim did a great job.

2009-02-23T22:40:00.000-05:00

Awards show

2009-02-23T00:19:00.003-05:00

Even though I had not gone to movies in over a year, I watched awards show. Every single minute. I was routing for Slumdog Millionaire and it won for Best Picture. I love an underdog. And of course it was the last award given.

That's it. Losing my hair just by touching it. Don't even have to pull on it. Taking it day by day, may need to give myself a buzz cut eventually.

PS Any one know when the Band Banquet is?

2 weeks and I see a light at the end of the tunnel.

2009-02-20T11:41:00.002-05:00

Yes, I did have 3 friends visit with me. Brought me laughter, joy and a few tears. All of which are OK. And I drank 2 Boost Plus energy drinks during the day. My appetite is not as good as it used to be. Most things taste like cardboard. About the only thing that I find is good is plain jello and ice cream, not together. The cancer center gave me the energy drinks when I asked for them yesterday. And last evening I felt better than I had in a long time.

And it seems I am losing some hair. Yes, a side effect. Have never been bald in cold weather. Not shaving it off yet. Will give it some time. Perhaps just buzz it short, not totally off.

Yes, chemo is scheduled for next Thursday. Am not sure what is going to happen then. Perhaps reduce the amount of chemo I get or just stop it cause of the side effects which took a lot of my spirit away. Time will tell, once I converse with oncologist I will make my own personal question.. And yes, it will be a personal question.

JUST SPOKE TO JANE IN THE BAT CAVE AS I CALL IT!!

2009-02-19T17:12:00.002-05:00

Don't we all remember the bat cave days when Jane first went thru the chemo-it seems years ago doesn't it. Sometimes I want to throw up when I don't see a posting when I get home. I coul not wait another day so I called her now. EVERYTHING IS AOK WHEN SHE ANSWERED THE PHONE!!! She said the blood work today is FINE. She says she is getting there with the taste-the other day said with the throw up stuff etc from last week-had no taste so why would someone eat? Did mention to her that there were 16 or so comments posted from her last post. I had just woken her up but was excited to tell me some people were going to visit her!!! whoever it is if u get a picture of u and her please go for it and someone can post!!! Hang tough u Kaminske's. adios moe

No growth

2009-02-17T21:42:00.002-05:00

Barry's results-No growth. He continues to be in pain, can't understand that. I know first hand about feeling pain and medically nothing shows up. Very frustrating.

And he still gave me roses! for Valentine's Dad.....(not a typo)

2009-02-17T10:46:00.000-05:00

On the altar Sunday in memory of someone's dad. Thanks.

2009-02-17T10:43:00.000-05:00

My new toilets. Doesn't take much to please me.

2009-02-17T10:42:00.000-05:00

Today's sermon- Thanks Lisa H. You are a dear friend.

2009-02-16T00:18:00.001-05:00

LOVE CUBED LEADERSHIP

This is the place where leadership begins. Leadership begins even from that place where you feel ‘cubed’ in.
Then it continues with love.
Leadership can begin even when you feel cubed in.
Love that perhaps, has hit the wall. But in the midst of that circumstance, it is multiplied by the love of God.

Visiting Jane Kaminske this week, she had hit a wall.
Combination of chemo and another shot to rebuild her bones, ached with head to toe pain. Nothing she could do to get comfortable.
When she called, I could tell she felt cubed in.

But then we talked about love. Love for Tim. Love for Barry. Love for this church and community. The love of God which she hears as the stream in front of her house trickles by even in winter.

In the midst of this life circumstance, she is witness to that love – and offers leadership of love to the third degree on her blog.

With all of her heart, all her mind, all her soul – she puts herself out there – so that others may find peace and comfort.

We walked upstairs to her third floor. She showed me how the blog all works. She showed me this cool mechanism called a ‘sitecounter’ that allows her to track how many visits she has had since April. It even tells her where in the world, people were reading her blog. When we logged on, a reader was on in Texas and in New York and in New Castle.

Does anyone know how many visitors she has had on her blog since April?

Almost 35,000.

Now that might be 100 visitors, every day of the year.
But still, that is love cubed leadership.

With all her heart, all her soul, all her might – her love for God is being revealed daily in a way that leads other to that place of peace as well.

Exponential increase.
Even when she feels cubed in.
Love to the third degree.
Love cubed leadership.

If we want to be multiply and be fruitful,
For our children and for our children’s children –
We begin with love.

If you want to move into the promised land,
If you want to be the leadership for the next generation,
You begin with love.

That is the starting place for us as a church.
So that when we breath in scripture, and breath out service –
That first breath of scripture is informed by Mark 12 –
Which takes these words from the Shema –
When Jesus is asked, what is the greatest commandment?

To love the Lord our God with all our heart, soul and might.
Starting with that scripture, will call forth leadership in our service.

And the multiplication of all that love, heart, mind, soul, will lead to infinity and then, beyond.

Amen.