Dec 31, 2005 Last day of 2005

Tim's gone for his last scenic ride with Mom and Dad: to the dump! We leave the best to the last. I stayed home. Took some last minute pictures of us. Bags are packed and ready to go.

Mom and Dad drove us to the airport. The flight was right on time. Barry picked us up at the airport. After arriving home, Barry made up some drinks for us. I also got to enjoy a bowl of his pea soup that he made while we were gone. Have to admit it was better than when I make it. We also had some meatballs as an appetizer. It was good to be home.

We had decided to stay home this evening, especially since Tim and I had been gone all week. I'm sure it was a long week for Barry without us being home. Plus he just had chemo yesterday. By the way, Barry is still looking for one of his presents that he wanted for Christmas: a tumor removal kit! I told him he was supposed to ask Dr. G for it, his oncologist..

I've just downloaded a few pictures of our vacation on my blog. I hope you enjoy a small glimpse into the good times we enjoyed on the Cape.

As I look back at 2005 I have so many memories, bad and good. The bad was hearing the word cancer twice: for myself and then for Barry. The good came to us in the form of friendship from family and friends. I'm also so proud of Tim this past year especially. He continues to be a caring person and to get good grades in school. I can't ask for anything more of him.

As I look forward to 2006, I continue to pray that Barry's cancer be a thing of the past. I hope for the day that cancer is behind us. But until that day, I will keep the faith and stay positive. And as Jody once told me, it's a good day when you are 6 feet above the ground! This year as taught me not to take things for granted, to appreciate things more fully.

Thanks to all my angels, here on the earth and elsewhere. Happy New Year.

We were able to have lunch at my brother Doug's restaurant. This was on my to do list...

 
 

I was able to spend some time with my sister Eileen and her grandson, Jamie. What a treat.

 
 

This is a picture of my in-laws, my mother and of course Tim at Christmas. What a view.

 
 

It's quite clear that Tim is a bit taller than Maureen...

 
 

Maureen, Mom and I. What a trio.

 
 

A kid's dream: being in a candy store.

 
 

My parents and me, along with Bud. I had such a great vacation.

 
 

Tim and Bud at window. Through the years we have taken this same picture just to show how tall Tim is getting.

 
 

Tim with his cousins at Christmas

 
 

Since it was our last full day on the Cape, I decided that we would travel to RI and spend some time with my sister Eileen. We got there a little after noon. Yes, we ate out again. This time at D'Angelos subs. Sure beats Subway. Wish they would open some of these sub shops in Pennsylvania. While we were there (Mom, Tim and I) my niece Tina stopped by with her son Jamie. This was an unexpected surprise for us. So in looking back at these past few days, I've seen both my sisters, my brother, my parents, my in-laws, Matt and his family, Tina and Jamie. You know, that ain't bad. I may have even left out a family member. I also got to visit with Peter and the Delaneys. I did all that I had hoped to do while here. And it also was beneficial to my mother, she got to see all her children this week.

We leave tomorrow for God's country. Not sure what if anything we will be doing for New Year's eve. Barry had a chemo treatment today and being in a crowd for him is not recommended. I am thinking that perhaps just spending the evening together as a family is a good idea. I know that Barry has missed us these past few days, more than any other time that we've gone away.

Am so thankful that we had this time to get away and spend this time with family and friends. As I leave the Cape I can say that I did all that I came to do. And of course, maybe gained another pound or so!

More good times

Since being on the Cape, I have been keeping in touch with Barry. Right after we left he made a double batch of pea soup with the ham remains. Said he's just about through with eating it now! He told me that it was the best he's ever had.

This morning I took Tim and mom to the mall again. Tim bought a Steven King book, already read one of the books he bought the other day. Damn kid, he keeps reading on his vacation!! I barely read the paper. I bought a couple of tops at Sears.

For lunch we picked up a couple of pizzas to take home. Mmmmm. Good pizzas. Actually thought of buying one, freezing it and taking home in my suitcase for Barry. But Barry and everyone else have said no to that idea. Oh well.

Mom, Dad and I took our naps this afternoon. First time since being here that we've napped. I've enjoyed taking mom with me during our stay. It gives Dad a break and allows me to enjoy her company. Good company. After our naps, we went to Mashpee and took my in-laws out to dinner. Dad stayed home. It was our last chance before leaving the Cape to say good-bye to them.

Tomorrow is our last full day on the Cape before leaving Saturday. Have to say that the time here has not flew by. Going at a nice pace. Thank goodness. Did hear from Eileen that she and Roger won't be down this weekend. Roger's got to work and Eileen is catching up on her rest. She's also been near her daughter Tina lately. Her lupus is acting up lately and causing a lot of discomfort. This house will certainly be quiet tomorrow without Roger's voice. He's a one of a kind guy who adds a lot of excitement when he's around.

Visits

I took Mom and Tim for a trip to see Doug. We played tourists today. Stopped along the Cape Cod Canal for some photos and then went on our way. Made a quick and unexpected stop at the hospital where Maureen works. She met us outside and stayed long enough for a couple more pictures. Long enough for pics and hugs. We then went to Doug's restaurant where he had he had a full crowd. Business is certainly good there. He was able to come to the table to grab a hug and more pictures were taken. As usual the food was excellent and Doug once again treated us. It pays to know the owner! Both my sister and brother had not seen me with my new hair.
Before we left the town we stopped to say hi to an old friend of mine, Peter. It's nice to know we as adults don't change that much.

Took a quick stop to take some pictures of Gilette Stadium where the Patriots play. In less than one week that area will be jammed with traffic. Quite empty today.

We wanted to buy a pie at Grandma's pie shop, but it's no longer there. This was my big disappointment of the day! They always had the best pies. Not sure what happened to them.

And now we've made it home. A great day. Guess what's for dinner? Lobster. Later.

Full day at the Cape

I took Mom for a haircut in the morning, followed by a quick trip the Christmas tree shop. Spent about 2 bucks there... And then we went to the mall where Tim bought me another Thomas Kinkade calendar. Mom and I got our rings cleaned at a jewelry store. I don't think I've ever had that done. I was able to have someone at the mall fix mom's medic necklace. The clasp had got broken. And this woman didn't charge anything to do it. Very nice woman.

Had lunch at a pizza restaurant and Dad gave us a tour around the Kennedy compound. Tim wasn't able to get close enough for a picture of the house though. Just pics of the pier where they sail from.

Mom, Tim and I went to see Mark and Carol D. and family. They used to be our neighbors when we lived on the Cape. I used to babysit their daughter, and now she is 22 years old and in college. They also have a 17 year old son who loves to play hockey. I can't recall the last time I saw them. Even though it's been many years, they looked as if it was yesterday. Very nice people, great neighbors. They now live in a different home which is so nice. We didn't stay long, but I needed to say hi to them for all their support.

We then went to WalMart for a couple of items and then to dinner at Barnicle Bill's. Mmmm. Finally had fried shrimp and fried pepper rings. Another excellent meal. So good I've had to unzip my pants! as I sit down and blog.

Not sure about tomorrow. Perhaps a visit to my brother's restaurant. Dad has already made our dinner plans which will include LOBSTER. It is Cape Cod, you know.

PS. Heard from Dr. today that the knee x-rays were perfect. Nothing wrong. Not much discomfort now. Still taking the celebrex for few days.

Off to the Cape

I'm up and ready to go. Just need to wake up my chauffeur and Tim. Have a good day everyone.

We left the house at 6 a.m. for the airport. Barry dropped us off at the airport and the plane left at 8:45 a.m. after being deiced. We arrived in Providence at about 10:23 a.m. It was so great seeing Mom and Dad as we walked into the airport. By noon, we were in my parent's home on the Cape. Can't beat that.

Took a short walk with Mom, Tim and Bud (their dalmatian) around the block. Then we headed over to see my in-laws and Matt and his family. Boy have the kids got old. Not me, just them. It's so nice for this to be able to happen, to have Tim see his 4 cousins there. I took lots of pictures while there. I took Mom with us so I could enjoy her and them at the same time. We had delicious chicken/turkey tetrazzini (not sure of spelling) with salad. As mom said "we had a very nice day."

Tomorrow I'm thinking of taking Mom for a haircut and perhaps for a trip to see Doug at his restaurant for lunch. Time will tell. It's just good to be here.

Merry Christmas!

Am just signing on after going to 10 p.m. mass this evening. We got to see the LeJeunes at church. And when I saw them I thought back to all our friends who came into our lives this year. Angels. Each one continues to give us strength each and every day. We are so appreciative, words can not truly explain.

Most of today has been spent by Barry and Tim putting together a new L-shaped desk for Tim's room. The directions said "easy as 1-2-3" and that an assistant may come in handy. The easy part is false, the assistant part is true. It's one project that really tests your sanity. They are determined to finish it before going to bed.

12:18 a.m. -officially Christmas Day. I'm enjoying my glass of sangria and soon will have visions of sugar plums in my head.....

Christmas day is just about over. It was a success. We were pleasantly surprised by phone calls from Aunt Betty and Uncle Howie, and of course Howie Jr. and Debbie. We also got a nice call from TimBa which totally made my day. Later in the evening we heard from Mel and Lucinda as they were driving to Maryland to see the Vikings play. They don't think Mel Jr. will be playing as he hurt his ankle last week in the game. He's listed as questionable. One of the presents I gave Tim today was a Vikings shirt. Have always said, we follow the player wherever he may go. Hopefully he'll play with a more local team so we can once again go to a game.

We bought Barry a smoker for Christmas as he's always wanted to smoke some ribs. Will need Matt's recipe now. Tim got lots of underwear along with one of his favorite gifts which was a wave blender. Has already made a smoothie drink for himself.

Tim and I will be catching an early plane in morning for the Cape. Will be bloggin' and emailing while I'm away.

And for all my friends who just read my blog, am looking for some new blogging comments. This way I know you are there for me.

Merry Christmas!

Finally the desk is complete. A place where Tim can now do his homework, without fighting the clutter of my kitchen table...

 
 

Barry and me. We both have hair now.

 
 

Barry and Tim talk about his new smoker. Mmmm. I can taste the ribs.

 
 

After 25 years, Barry wanted new Corelle dishes. So he got his wish.

 
 

Our 2005 Christmas tree.

 
 

My Christmas table of Hope.

 
 

Happy Birthday, Barry!

Am happy to report that my knee feels so much better. Must be combination of cold pack on it along with celebrex. What a difference a day makes.

Since it's Barry's birthday today I had planned to surprise him at his job with buckets of chicken wings. We've just come back from delivering them to him. I did tell him about an hr. before we arrived though. Had to make sure he was available.
I know the crew will enjoy them. It's been a rough year for us and I knew I had to do something special for him.


BTW TimBa, my Tim would like to see what a menorah (not sure of spelling) looks like. You got a picture of one?

I've been having some pain in my knee area for the past couple of weeks. With everything happening in our lives, I put the pain aside and didn't want to complain. In fact when I would tell Barry about it, I would feel bad. But while I was having my nails done last night, my nail technician Retta told me about one of her clients who had gone through breast cancer and chemo. Retta was not sure exactly of the details, but this woman had been hospitalized, blood clot or stroke. One of the things that Retta told me of her was that she had knee pain. I then told Retta of my discomfort. She urged that I see a doctor. Later in the evening I did lie on the couch with an ice pack, and for the first time the knee was feeling good.

I went to work and the knee felt pretty good. But with Retta's words in my head and knowing I was going away next week, I made a doctor's appt. today. I saw the doctor and she examined the knee. I could never really pinpoint the area that hurt, just knew it was internally located. But during her examination she found the spot. She eventually sent me for X-rays at the hospital. She prescribed celebrex to me. She thinks it could be fluid in the knee or perhaps arthritis. Should have results of tests in a couple of days.

Just a short while ago Retta called and asked if I had gone to the doctor. I told her I had. She informed me that the woman we talked about last night died today. You know, my knee soreness may be nothing but you can't take any pain for granted. You have to be your own best advocate. Things I used to ignore can no longer be ignored. Health is too important.

Tomorrow is Barry's birthday. He's turning 52 young years. In a couple of months I'll be turning 50. People ask me if that is going to bother me. I say, hell no. I'm going to CELEBRATE. Happy Birthday, Barry. You are my hero.

One more week... and it's hello Cape Cod

One week from today Tim and I will be enjoying our Christmas with the family on Cape Cod. I certainly can't wait to see everyone. Last time I was there, I was bald. Now I've got curly hair and a different color than I used to have. Hard to believe that I'm actually contemplating getting a trim! Not used to curly hair. To me it feels as if it's not neat.

I got a pleasant surprise phone call this evening from a neighbor of ours on Cape Cod. They moved away to sunny Naples, Fl. They had received my Christmas letter and wanted to personally say hi to me. In my letter I explained everything that we've been through this past year. I thought that was so special for her to take the time and get my phone number. Very nice.

Tomorrow we are having our Christmas luncheon. Looking forward to that. But then I look forward to any food!

PS. Barry celebrates another birthday this week!!

Leya's wedding day

This evening I went to Leya and Steven's wedding. Leya used to work with me. Her father and step-mom sat with me at the reception. Her father had built our deck for us. They were good company. Barry did not go since yesterday was his weekly chemo treatment. Not a good idea to be in a crowd. He stayed home and put up new blinds in the living room. For 3 years we had no blinds, now our house is really coming together. They look wonderful and will help with adding a bit more insulation.

Well, I got the call from HR today that I didn't get the job I was interviewed for on Monday. Am getting used to that kind of news (unfortunately). But I have to think that I'm just being saved for something better. Just don't know what that something is.

Been snowing, drizzling today. Just a crummy day. Drove home very slow from work since they had not touched the country roads yet. No one behind me so they couldn't get mad at me.

That's it for today.

Food party

Today we had a food party at work. Always a good time with lots of good food. Have never been to a bad food party yet!

While channel surfing tonight I came upon the ending of the original King Kong movie. Tim was watching it with me. He had such a cute comment: "didn't know it was a black and white movie."

Job interview.

I feel so good when people email me directly when I don't blog for a day or so. There are just some days that I don't feel that there is any really big news to write about, just the usual grind.
Today I had job interview in the loan department. It would probably be the same salary, but at least a change in scenery for me. Just ask Tim how I am when I come home from work most days and he'll tell you a word or two! I've been working same job for almost 3 years and about burned out I think. Will know by the end of the week if I got it or not. The woman told me that 4 people applied for it. Better odds than the lottery...
Two weeks from today Tim and I will be on the Cape. Boy, I am certainly looking forward to that. Bring on the seafood. Will be great seeing the family. I haven't been there since summer. Wish Barry could be coming with us. Next year we will go as a family perhaps.

I'm back...

I think I got a request from Hoppe to post things on my blog. I must admit that I haven't been posting. As they often say, no news is good news. Hard to believe that Christmas is 2 weeks away, and then Tim and I will be going to Cape Cod for about 5 days. Can't wait to see my family and eat some fresh seafood.

It was a pretty calm week. Got my nails done one day and Tim had his Christmas concert on another day. We picked up the venizen meat from the butcher last night. Looks like we'll have lots of good meat to get us through a cold winter. I'm a bit hesitant though in trying it. Can only remember it vaguely when I was a child.

Barry had another chemo treatment yesterday. And since I was having my lunch at about the same time, I decided to drive over and sit with him for awhile. His treatments now last about 1 1/2 hrs. He goes every week like clockwork. I'm thinking of making some cupcakes for him to take to the staff. They are so wonderful to us. Barry and I have recently talked that if we come into any lottery money, etc. that we would donate some to the Cancer Center. They do not have cable tv and I think this would make a nice contribution. It can be a long time sitting there with only about 4 channels.

Our Christmas tree is up and decorated. Just need some friends to stop by to also enjoy it. I wanted to get a small 3 ft. lit tree for myself, but the stores are already sold out of them. When will I learn to buy it when they first come out. Would go perfectly in a window and look like a large tree. Next year..

Tim's had a friends house for a sleepover. Thanks BJ for having him over. Will be picking him up in a.m. to go to church.

Oh by the way Hoppe, I took a nice 3 hr. nap today. The best.. followed by steak on the grill. Mmm.

Brrrr.......it's cold outside

2.3 degrees outside and it's not even winter yet! Brrrrr.

This is Tim's friend, Ben holding his 3 pt. buck.

 
 

Another picture of Tim and his buck

 
 

Tim's first buck: 6 pts.

 
 

This arrangement is from Cindy who could not make my luncheon. Beautiful person, beautiful flowers.

 
 

Jody, Me (eyes shut of course) and Terri: We are breast cancer survivors!

 
 

My boob cake: The breast is yet to come....

 
 

A GREAT DAY

Today I was honored at a luncheon by my girlfriends, who were my angels in preparing dinners for us while I went through chemo. I think there were more people at this lunch than at my wedding! I believe the end total was 16.. Can you believe that. And at this busy time of the year. It was a celebration of survival and also in honor of breast cancer awareness that was in October. I surprised them with dessert which was a BOOB cake made by Aileen's bakery. Her husband had presented her with this type of cake after her last radiation treatment. I think that the bakery should go into business just making these cakes. They also make penis cakes! if you are interested.. We had a lot of laughs with the cake. Especially when my friend did the cutting of it. Someone said she was doing a breast reduction. I felt so honored and blessed today. To think I have this many friends takes my breath away.

Upon coming home I had a floral arrangement delivered to me. It was a Christmas arrangement sent to me by a friend who couldn't make the luncheon, Cindy. Geez, can it get any better?

At about 5 p.m. I got a call from Tim. He got a 6 point BUCK!! So far he was the only person in his group that had any luck today. He was so excited. It was his first deer. Deer hunting is so popular in this community. They took a picture of him and the deer so hopefully it will come out and as you know, soon will be posted on my blog. I can't believe that I congratulated him for doing so, as I do love my deer! I definitely know that he will be hunting again next year. He's going to keep the antlers and make a display with them.

So yes, today is a great day. It's hard for me to type how blessed I feel, but know that I am.

Thanks for making this day special.

Happy December

Last night Tim had his soccer banquet and awards presentation. He was awarded a certificate for Most Improved Player by this team. Pretty cool. Am very proud of him.

I continued to do Christmas letters to be mailed shortly. A lot of work but well worth it. That's why I haven't been bloggin'. It was very important to me to put down in writing what we've been through this year.

This morning Barry had another chemo treatment. It looks like he will be having treatment until February 2006 and at that time he will have another PET and CT scan done. He continues to take thalidomide daily.

Tim's going hunting again this weekend. Will be leaving tomorrow afternoon for another "shot" at it. Even though he never got to take a shot, he still had a good time. It's all about friendship.

So it will be another weekend of just me and Barry. Not bad. Some friends of mine are hosting a luncheon for me on Saturday in celebration of Breast Cancer awareness month that was in October. I'm truly looking forward to it.

Christmas letter

This evening I am typing up Christmas letter. So I won't be bloggin..

A hunting we will go

Here's to a safe hunting season to all. And to friendship.

PS Run, Bambi, Run...

And at 9 p.m. Tim arrived home empty handed! Saw a lot of deer, but they were doe and he didn't have a license to shoot them. He said he had a great time and did enjoy himself. He also said that while walking to the place to hunt, it was very early and quite dark, with lots of hunters around. Could hear occassional shots being fired and just prayed that they weren't aiming at him.

Of the group he went with, only 1 deer was shot.

Maybe next time Tim will be luckier than the deer were today.

A quiet Sunday

Went out to dinner last night with Barry. Had my favorite dish chicken francaise. Boy is it quiet without Tim. He did call us last evening to tell us that they moved wood yesterday. Guess it worked out good that this family knows how to do that! Good practice. Hunting season actually starts tomorrow.

Yesterday I saw Michelle W. at the store with her family. She looked wonderful as usual. Already has got her hair colored. I also talked with Jody who is recovering from her recent surgery. And I got an email from Aileen yesterday. Geez, 3 bosum buddies in one day. How lucky can I be!

Today continues to be quiet. Temps have warmed up which made it nice for me to wash truck. Barry's off to work. And good news: Vikings beat the Browns and I finally got to see Mel Jr. play. Must have been a good feeling to beat his old team.

As for the blog and it's recent appearance, for some reasons you may not be able to go backwards. But after clicking away somehow, it did come back for me. Just don't know which button I pressed... I think when you press the time button next to where I do my posting, that causes only the current post to show. Hence, not a good idea. Better just to have the blogger heading block the top and be able to see all the daily blogs.

One year ago today

It was one year ago today that I had a sonogram on my right breast after noticing the lump. I was told that it was a swollen gland later. Huh. Certainly know now how wrong they were. It was my having this journal that I could look back and see where I've come from.

PS. To see the whole entry without the blogger heading, try hitting the time next to where is says posted by Jane.

A quiet day at work

Tim took off for his first hunting weekend in the morning. I know I'm going to miss him. Wondering how lucky he will be on Monday when the season officially begins.

It was such a quiet day at work today. Very relaxing for a change. In fact we put up our Christmas tree and did some decorating in between telephone calls. A good day.

Barry's off tonight and I made the Pepperidge Farm pastry dish with turkey and vegetables. Maureen, you've also made this. Nice and easy. Could have gone out to dinner but I had all the ingredients and it was a quick dinner. I have tomorrow to go out if we want to.

It's now 11 p.m. and I must admit this: went to bed at 7:30 p.m. (nothing on TV) and got up at 10:30 p.m.! Guess I'll call that a nap..... Haven't done that in a long time.

Happy Thanksgiving

Woke up to what you can see in my pictures. Temps in the low 20s and very windy. Lots of snow squalls. My day was made when as i was sitting at kitchen table I looked out back. And you do know what I saw. TWO deer making their way through the woods. I told them quietly "run." I absolutely love my deer.

After we had turkey leftovers, Barry went back to bed and Tim went to the shooting range. Had to get prepared for deer hunting season. Later in the evening, I packed for Tim's weekend. Lots of warm clothes. Temps today we below 20 degrees.

I made cupcakes for the boys to take hunting.

Looking towards our new driveway...

 
 

Wondering which holiday we are celebrating...

 
 

Looks more like Christmas than Thanksgiving...

 
 

First snow of season

Got about an inch of snow last night. Drove home in a blizzard. Internet was down all yesterday evening. Terrible service.

Well, today was another repeat of yesterday with more snow. Tim had a flute lesson scheduled for 6 p.m. but we didn't make it. In order to get there, we would have had to go down a very big hill (Volant) and there was no way I was going to attempt that. I told Tim that I just got through cancer and I wasn't going to kill both of us in a car accident. I pulled along side of the road, at the top of the hill, and could tell no one else was going down it. The cars coming up the hill were swerving all around. Put my blinkers on and turned around. Other cars followed. I then called and canceled the lesson. Not worth it.

Barry had put the turkey in the oven already as we had left for the lesson. So it worked out fine that I could continue to do the dinner. Barry's not been feeling good this past week. And today was no exception. There is discomfort in the area of the tumors. He went for his scheduled flu shot and did see an oncologist. Was given another prescription for pain killer. Past couple of days he has been taking them, but it does cause nausea. It just seems that the pain comes back when he is not receiving chemo. His next treatment is next week.

Barry rested as dinner was prepared. Got up to eat with us but didn't even finish his plate. Very unusual for him. He continues not to complain. It saddens me to know he is not feeling well. He is my hero.

So now that Thanksgiving dinner is done, I can rest tomorrow. I plan to stay in bed late. Tim is going to the shooting range in preparation of catching his first deer next week! Not sure if I'm rooting for him or for my deer....

Thoughts and prayers go out to J today

My bosom buddy J is having surgery this a.m. Positive energy is being sent her way today. She's one tough cookie.

Things I am thankful for...

It's hard to believe that Thanksgiving is a few days away. I've decided to write down a few things that I'm thankful for.

I'm thankful for:

Dr. Henwood, my surgeon
Dr. Garrow, my oncologist
Dr. Ulewicz, my radiation oncologist
the nurses and radiation technicians at the Cancer Center
the ability to reach up high without any pain
the ability to reach without any pain
the power of pain killers
the ability to sleep all night
not having any more night sweats
no more neulasta
no bad side effects from chemo and radiation
no more periods
all the delicious meals that my angels made for us
to all who chauffer Tim to and from activities
for such a great support system which consists of Barry and Tim, my family and my many old and new friends. And above all, I'm thankful to God for being by our sides these past few months.

I have never asked why, it's not my place to do so. I never knew the strength that both Barry and I have until now. I hope that others can learn from our ordeal as I have learned from others.

Best of luck to my bosom buddy who is having surgery tomorrow a.m. She's one of my angels.

Dad and Mom enjoy a nice fall day on Cape Cod. The tall sea grass makes for a great background.