Christmas letter

This evening I am typing up Christmas letter. So I won't be bloggin..

A hunting we will go

Here's to a safe hunting season to all. And to friendship.

PS Run, Bambi, Run...

And at 9 p.m. Tim arrived home empty handed! Saw a lot of deer, but they were doe and he didn't have a license to shoot them. He said he had a great time and did enjoy himself. He also said that while walking to the place to hunt, it was very early and quite dark, with lots of hunters around. Could hear occassional shots being fired and just prayed that they weren't aiming at him.

Of the group he went with, only 1 deer was shot.

Maybe next time Tim will be luckier than the deer were today.

A quiet Sunday

Went out to dinner last night with Barry. Had my favorite dish chicken francaise. Boy is it quiet without Tim. He did call us last evening to tell us that they moved wood yesterday. Guess it worked out good that this family knows how to do that! Good practice. Hunting season actually starts tomorrow.

Yesterday I saw Michelle W. at the store with her family. She looked wonderful as usual. Already has got her hair colored. I also talked with Jody who is recovering from her recent surgery. And I got an email from Aileen yesterday. Geez, 3 bosum buddies in one day. How lucky can I be!

Today continues to be quiet. Temps have warmed up which made it nice for me to wash truck. Barry's off to work. And good news: Vikings beat the Browns and I finally got to see Mel Jr. play. Must have been a good feeling to beat his old team.

As for the blog and it's recent appearance, for some reasons you may not be able to go backwards. But after clicking away somehow, it did come back for me. Just don't know which button I pressed... I think when you press the time button next to where I do my posting, that causes only the current post to show. Hence, not a good idea. Better just to have the blogger heading block the top and be able to see all the daily blogs.

One year ago today

It was one year ago today that I had a sonogram on my right breast after noticing the lump. I was told that it was a swollen gland later. Huh. Certainly know now how wrong they were. It was my having this journal that I could look back and see where I've come from.

PS. To see the whole entry without the blogger heading, try hitting the time next to where is says posted by Jane.

A quiet day at work

Tim took off for his first hunting weekend in the morning. I know I'm going to miss him. Wondering how lucky he will be on Monday when the season officially begins.

It was such a quiet day at work today. Very relaxing for a change. In fact we put up our Christmas tree and did some decorating in between telephone calls. A good day.

Barry's off tonight and I made the Pepperidge Farm pastry dish with turkey and vegetables. Maureen, you've also made this. Nice and easy. Could have gone out to dinner but I had all the ingredients and it was a quick dinner. I have tomorrow to go out if we want to.

It's now 11 p.m. and I must admit this: went to bed at 7:30 p.m. (nothing on TV) and got up at 10:30 p.m.! Guess I'll call that a nap..... Haven't done that in a long time.

Happy Thanksgiving

Woke up to what you can see in my pictures. Temps in the low 20s and very windy. Lots of snow squalls. My day was made when as i was sitting at kitchen table I looked out back. And you do know what I saw. TWO deer making their way through the woods. I told them quietly "run." I absolutely love my deer.

After we had turkey leftovers, Barry went back to bed and Tim went to the shooting range. Had to get prepared for deer hunting season. Later in the evening, I packed for Tim's weekend. Lots of warm clothes. Temps today we below 20 degrees.

I made cupcakes for the boys to take hunting.

Looking towards our new driveway...

 
 

Wondering which holiday we are celebrating...

 
 

Looks more like Christmas than Thanksgiving...

 
 

First snow of season

Got about an inch of snow last night. Drove home in a blizzard. Internet was down all yesterday evening. Terrible service.

Well, today was another repeat of yesterday with more snow. Tim had a flute lesson scheduled for 6 p.m. but we didn't make it. In order to get there, we would have had to go down a very big hill (Volant) and there was no way I was going to attempt that. I told Tim that I just got through cancer and I wasn't going to kill both of us in a car accident. I pulled along side of the road, at the top of the hill, and could tell no one else was going down it. The cars coming up the hill were swerving all around. Put my blinkers on and turned around. Other cars followed. I then called and canceled the lesson. Not worth it.

Barry had put the turkey in the oven already as we had left for the lesson. So it worked out fine that I could continue to do the dinner. Barry's not been feeling good this past week. And today was no exception. There is discomfort in the area of the tumors. He went for his scheduled flu shot and did see an oncologist. Was given another prescription for pain killer. Past couple of days he has been taking them, but it does cause nausea. It just seems that the pain comes back when he is not receiving chemo. His next treatment is next week.

Barry rested as dinner was prepared. Got up to eat with us but didn't even finish his plate. Very unusual for him. He continues not to complain. It saddens me to know he is not feeling well. He is my hero.

So now that Thanksgiving dinner is done, I can rest tomorrow. I plan to stay in bed late. Tim is going to the shooting range in preparation of catching his first deer next week! Not sure if I'm rooting for him or for my deer....

Thoughts and prayers go out to J today

My bosom buddy J is having surgery this a.m. Positive energy is being sent her way today. She's one tough cookie.

Things I am thankful for...

It's hard to believe that Thanksgiving is a few days away. I've decided to write down a few things that I'm thankful for.

I'm thankful for:

Dr. Henwood, my surgeon
Dr. Garrow, my oncologist
Dr. Ulewicz, my radiation oncologist
the nurses and radiation technicians at the Cancer Center
the ability to reach up high without any pain
the ability to reach without any pain
the power of pain killers
the ability to sleep all night
not having any more night sweats
no more neulasta
no bad side effects from chemo and radiation
no more periods
all the delicious meals that my angels made for us
to all who chauffer Tim to and from activities
for such a great support system which consists of Barry and Tim, my family and my many old and new friends. And above all, I'm thankful to God for being by our sides these past few months.

I have never asked why, it's not my place to do so. I never knew the strength that both Barry and I have until now. I hope that others can learn from our ordeal as I have learned from others.

Best of luck to my bosom buddy who is having surgery tomorrow a.m. She's one of my angels.

Dad and Mom enjoy a nice fall day on Cape Cod. The tall sea grass makes for a great background.

 
 

The highlight of my day

Was a very relaxing day today. Was able to take a nice 2 hr. nap and woke up for the first time in a long time with bed head hair. I love my naps.

I had been pushing Tim most of the day to do his homework and practice flute. So after supper he went over to his backpack. It was then (at about 7 p.m.) that he realized he had not done his "grave rubbings" for his Latin class. So guess where we took an evening ride to? You guessed, to 2 local cemetaries. And thank goodness we weren't stopped by the police. End result, that homework is now complete.

This is a short week for Tim. He only has 2 days of school and then off for Thanksgiving. Kids (and teachers) are so lucky.

Moe and Gene also enjoyed the day. Cape Cod is beautiful in the fall.

 
 

Football season is now over

This morning Barry and I went shopping for shades for our first floor. We've been here 3 years and are now finally dressing the house up. We've ordered them and should have them in a couple of weeks. Will add insulation and warmth to the house.

Snuck in a quick nap before I brought Tim for band practice. I went to the school about an hour after he got there. I was able to help load all the musical instruments into the van. It was fun helping out. I got to chaperone the bus that Tim and the freshmen were on. On the way to the game, the exchange student Julia sat with me. She arrived in August and will stay until the end of the school year. She lives near Russia, someplace like Muldavia. Not sure of name. She has already graduated from school. Told me that she is taking calculus class here and that it is so easy. Compared to her education she told me that classes are easier here. Very smart girl. Communicates via email with her parents and sends digital pictures to them. She will be going with the band to Disney in April and is quite excited about it. Also told me that the dress code is different here. There she would be wearing high heels and dresses to school. She speaks about 5 different languages. I enjoyed talking with her.

As I sat in the bus I thought of how proud I was to be there. To have this opportunity of helping out in such a small way meant a lot to me. And chaperoning these kids is not work at all. A bunch of good kids.

I sat with Jody and her husband at the game. Barry sat with the Hoppe family. I knew it was going to be a long game when the other team scored a 90 yard touchdown within the first 14 seconds of the game. The score ended up being 21-0. We were the 0 score. So ends the football season and the band's marching. I certainly have enjoyed this season though. I've met so many wonderful people.

Barry couldn't wait to warm up after the game. Hottub and shower finally did the trick, along with tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches. I wasn't cold at all.
Terrible feeling when you are that cold. He's already under the covers now.

Hard to believe that Thanksgiving is this week. Followed by Tim's first hunting experience.

TGIF

Internet was down for me last night. Came up right before I went to bed.

Sure do miss it when it's down.

Tim has first flute lesson

After work today (which was an easy day), I took Tim for his first flute lesson. It was only a 1/2 hr. but as I sat in the woman's living room I could tell she knew her stuff. And she told him that in May her students get together for a recital at the local college. Tim was excited when he heard that. She only teaches the flute and piano.

We then went to the outlets nearby and bought Tim a new winter jacket and hat. The outlets were so dead. On the weekend they are jammed pack. What a difference. We ended our evening by going out for Mexican food (yes, again!).

So yes, it was a good day.

And yes, the damn blogger blocking header is back. Only good thing is that I know it once disappeared. Now you just have to wait a day to read the top lines you missed the day before.

PS. First snow flurries are coming down for this season! 34 degrees out now.

A better day

Even though it's raining outside, I'll make it a better day today. Off to early meeting. Am glad to know that many people experience cluttered brain syndrome, even when not related to chemo. I've never been alone and that is a blessing.

Work was better today. Actually at lunch, I sat in my truck and listened to a meditation CD that Linda had given me when I was first diagnosed. She is a cancer survivor. And honestly I had only listened to it a couple of times. Am thinking that perhaps during lunch I should start to meditate. To relax myself.

When I got home from work, I went over the lawn quickly with tractor and bagger to clean it up. By the time I finished I was using the lights on it. But boy did it look good. I really enjoy doing the lawn.

Tomorrow is Tim's first flute lesson. I'll be picking him up after work and going to the lesson with him. It's only a 1/2 hr. lesson, hope he learns something in that time. He'll be going once a week. He's been asking for this since the beginning of the year. Got postponed due my diagnosis of cancer.

Chemo-brain

Yes, there truly is a condition called chemo-brain. And at times I do believe that I have it. "People who have chemo-brain may find themselves unable to concentrate on their work, or unable to juggle multiple tasks. Some find they don't remember things as well as they used to.

Subtle or not, chemo-brain is frustrating to patients, who may suddenly find themselves unable to accomplish tasks they formerly completed with ease. And it's a mystery to doctors, who are still trying to understand what causes it and who is likely to suffer." The above statements are from an article I read by American Cancer Society.

The good news is that it should disappear in a year or two. Hard to explain what I feel in my head. At times my head seems so cluttered, not clear. Not sure if it's related to my personal situation, dealing with my own cancer along with dealing with Barry's cancer. I've always been one to rely on notes to remind myself but moreso now. I feel guilty when I'm feeling a bit down, as Barry is fighting for his life and is not outwardly complaining. I wonder if you get PMS when you no longer get your periods? Funny, huh! Could blame it on that.

I've always been honest and this is just another honest posting. Didn't help that today was a day from heck at work. You always pay for a holiday.

Thanks for listening. Tomorrow will be better day. And as my best friend Jody has told me: CANCER SUCKS

PS. Just got called to chaperone at Saturday's playoff game. Agreed to as this will be my first time doing so. Am pleased to be able to help out.