Yes, I'm still here...

Yes, I'm still here. Just taking a rest from bloggin'. Since my last writing, Tim has got his learner's permit. Growing up too fast. We also bought him a car that used to be my mom's car. Everything is going nicely into place. Barry took him out for his first driving lesson. So far so good. I think he's driven about 4 times. A whole new experience for all of us. In fact, Tim was asked to write an article for our Church youth newsletter. I would like to share it with you as it truly touched my heart. It's called "Driving."

Learning new things can be a scary thing, no matter what it is. After all, we all fear what we don’t know. Personally, I received my driver’s permit the other day and the car has been my major adversary. I’ve wanted to drive all of my life, but when I got behind that steering wheel for the first time, I choked up. But then I started to think. I tried to think of something to calm me down, and then I thought of God. It made me realize that He would help me do this, as He has done throughout my life. In the end, hasn’t He always been there when we were scared and needed direction? I then found that if I let Him do the driving, it made it all easy. Life can be the same way if you put your trust in God to lead you the right way, even if you stumble to follow. Either way, I can drive well enough, but only thanks to my great teacher.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I told him it was similar to Carrie Underwood's song "Jesus take the wheel."


This morning we woke up to our first black ice storm. I went out to get the paper and came upon our vehicles in a sheet of ice. The walkway and driveway was the same. I proceded to back out of the driveway, only to slowly slide crossway down it. I had no control over it. As I came to a stop, I called Barry inside the house. He came out and told me to put it in 4 wheel drive. I eventually drove it back into the garage. Getting the paper was not that important! Of course, he did call me a couple of names like "retard" and "whuss" (not sure of spelling). But that's Barry! I did tell Tim my story only to make him aware of this type of element. A scary thing.

Barry has returned to work. He's doing pretty good. Has his aches but never complains. Trouble sleeping at night, so therefore may take a nap during the day. Takes each day as it comes.

I would like to wish good health to a few of my friends, a couple who are going through the "C" crap. Not a fun thing to do, but something you just have to do.

Happy 16th Birthday, Tim

And also a Happy 79th Birthday to MOM today. Two special people on my life!

#7 Chemoembolization under the belt

I got to the hospital at 7:30 a.m. Dr. G. checked in on Barry before 9 a.m. Barry did not get discharged until 11:45 a.m. due to a delay in getting one of his nausea pills. It took about 1 1/2 hrs. for that one pill to be delivered. You should not have to go through such stress while already dealing with cancer. If only there was some kind of self-discharge process in place!

After we picked Tim up from his friend's house, we went out for late lunch. I came home and took a small nap as I served as eucharistic minister at the 5 p.m. mass. Tim went to help out at our church Valentine's dinner dance that was being held after the mass. The auditorium did not look like an auditorium with all the decorations that the youth had put up on Thursday. The youth ministry is benefiting from the dance with a portion going to their mission trip this summer. They did a great job with the dance. The kids were all dressed in black and white, including bow ties and cumabuns (not sure of spelling). It's a big fundraiser with a nice sit down meal. I knew it was Barry's chemo day so we didn't attend. Next year though we will!

Barry's doing fine. Required no pain meds this treatment. Each treatment can vary so greatly.
As we were talking to the nurse and discussing the delay in being discharged, she mentioned another patient that has the same chemo treatment. A 16 year old boy. Now that puts your life into prospective. He always wishes to get out by 7 a.m.! A real kidder. Same age as Tim. Life is so crazy, isn't it. We are so lucky.

Update on Barry

I've just left Barry at the hospital and have arrived safe and sound at the Family House where I'll be staying.

There was a bit of discrepancy on what number chemo treatment this was. According to my blog, which I don't believe is wrong, it is number 7. But the hospital records today showed it be #6. I tend to believe my records as he has MUGA scans on the odd number treatments. And that was done last week.

The CT scans from last week showed the tumor that had been treated last time had a small change in size. It went from 3.9 c.m. to 4.1 c.m. The dr. has assured me that this is not a significant change to be worried about. He came to see us as Barry was sleeping in the afternoon. He did not want to wake him up, so he talked with me. Was very comforting to me. Even drew me a picture of the area in question. Therefore, today's chemo was aimed directly at the area that had growth. He will have CT scans in 8 weeks. If there is growth, chemo will be done then. If none, he will have chemo 2 weeks later. Not sure of Dr. G's exact words, but basically said we proceed as we have been doing: onward. I did feel good after talking with him.

Barry got to his room at about 12:30 p.m. I ate in cafeteria and once I knew he was in the room, I checked in at the house. Watched a soap opera and took a small nap. Felt like heaven. Got back to hospital by 3 p.m. The whole afternoon Barry slept. Did not require any pain meds! No soreness in usual belly area. He continues to be a real trouper. After his 6 hrs. of laying flat on his back, he ate a good dinner which I had saved for him. Watched some TV and went back to sleep. I left him at about 8:30 a.m.

I'll be going back in morning by 8 a.m. to see Dr. G again for discharge papers.
Just wanted to give everyone an update on him as I know people would like to know.
Again, thanks for everything. And thanks also for taking good care of Tim while we are away. Means a lot to me.

Barry's 7th treatment

Barry heads to Pittsburgh in the a.m. for his 7th chemoembolization. It's been 10 weeks since his last treatment. Once again we have to be there by 6 a.m.

Will keep you up to date once I'm back online. Thanks for your continued thoughts and prayers.

Medical appts. today

Barry was out of the house by 6 a.m. today for his appt. in the city. Got there about an hr. early, better early than late. They were able to co-ordinate the 2 types of tests therefore taking less time. Results next Friday at his chemo treatment.

I had my 6 months appt. with my radiation/oncologist this morning. He gives the best exam. Very thorough. Closes his eyes and moves his hands slowly around the breasts. I told him that I had looked forward to this appt. as in the back of my head, the worry is there. Especially since there has been an ache near the incision. He reassured me that surgery can effect the nerves in the area for a couple of years or more. Did not feel anything out of the ordinary except scar tissue. Told him of my recent on and off aches in my right arm. This has been happening since October. He's been the first doctor that has taken the initiative and has scheduled me to see neurologist on Monday. Possibly could be related to ulnar nerve. Whatever it is, it's caused discomfort first of January and just last night.

He confirmed that my mammogram is next month. And my next appt. with him is in 6 months. This will represent 2 years out of treatment. And according to him the recurrence rate drops drastically at this time period. So a reason to celebrate.

CT Scans tomorrow

See, I'm still here. Just have been taking a break since nothing new to report.
Tomorrow Barry will be heading to Pittsburgh for CT scans and MUGA heart scan in the morning. It has been 9 weeks since his last chemoembolization treatment. And it sure does feel like a long time. His next treatment is in one week. In the past they were 8 weeks in between treatments. I continue to pray positive thoughts. This month it will have been one year of treatments to Pittsburgh. A long year. I've actually changed the way I'm praying. I know that no change in size is good news, but I want great news now. Call me selfish. Just a small reduction. Barry has noticed some hair loss these past few months, and this treatment did cause more discomfort/pain than the others. (different side of liver was treated)

Since there is one week in between having the CT scans and treatment, his doctor should have lots of time to plan the next attack.

Will keep you posted..

Not much happening. Thank goodness.

Just a quick note to say hello. Have heard from a couple of friends directly. Wondering how things were on my end. I haven't blogged lately due to no real news. Which is probably good news in itself. Barry's next CT scans are Feb 2, followed by his next chemo treatment on Feb 9th. Geez, where does the time go? All is fine here. Tim's getting over a cold from last week.
He continues to play soccer and has now signed on to be in school musical as a background singer. Told me it's a real bit part, but I'm glad he took the initiative just to be a part of something. The play is in April and does require a lot of practice time. We're looking forward to the spring.

On the news today I read that deaths relating to cancer are on decline, second year in a row. Geez, you could fool me. Seems everyday you hear of cancer. Just yesterday Benny Parsons died. They killed the tumor in his lungs, but also damaged one of his lungs while doing so. It's just another cancer story that hits home. There was a poll question on a website tonight that I saw: do you believe there will be cure for cancer? About 2/3 who voted said no, I am optomistic and was part of the 1/3.

Again, thanks for wondering about us. We're fine, just was taking a breather.

Angels

You know, God works in mysterious ways. A saying that has been said so many times. This came to my mind. A friend of mine, Tina, is going through chemo for breast cancer. I had not seen her since before Christmas, so I decided to stop in at the store where she works during my lunch today. Gave her a hug and just wanted to tell her I was thinking of her. Never mentioned the words "you look good today" to her since I know how Barry feels when people tell him that. Me, it never bothered but his feelings are present and I understand where he's coming from.

This evening I decided to stop by her house and bring her a Hope charm I had bought for her, along with several of the hats I wore while I was bald and beautiful! They weren't doing any good in my drawer and I figured she might enjoy the bright colors. I pull up to her house and notice many cars in driveway. I realize she has teenagers and that perhaps it was friends playing there. I knock on the door and am greeted by BJ (another friend of mine). She whispers to me "shhhh, the angel ladies are here." Heck, I didn't know what the heck she was talking about. There were other friends there, as they were having a small party/gathering whereas the 2 angel ladies do some kind of spritual readings on you. (for a fee). Tina asked that I stay, which I did for awhile with my coat on. Got my mind to thinking as I was there. I have often said that angels do walk among us. Not only are the 2 ladies who do the readings angels, but all our friends who get together just to socialize/talk with. Perhaps in someway, I was an angel this evening. If I've learned anything these past couple of years, it is to spread Hope and friendship. PS. Without even charging a cent $. :)

Please pray for Gary who is struggling with cancer and it's pain. I just got email from his wife Barb who has asked that prayers be sent his way. Thanks.

Another survivor

I was surfing the web and came across a blog created by Lynne who has been diagnosed with gall bladder cancer. I took the time to read her informational blog, and I posted a comment on it. I know from personal experience that just knowing people are reading your blog it is a big boost to you personally. And as you can see, she has in turn posted on my blog. Just another angel walking among us.

So don't be shy, please post if you are taking the time to read my thoughts. It is a great pick me upper....

Thanks, Lynne.

I'm still here

I know it's been a week since bloggin' but I have no real excuse. Just busy living and working like every one else.

Today was another one of those Rockwell painting moments. Tim got invited to play Monopoly at a classmates house along with a few other friends this afternoon. For some reason this just hit me as one of those days I say "you have to love this town." Teenagers getting together to play a board game. Pretty nice, in my opinion.

I took advantage of this time and had a nap. For the past couple of weeks I've not been my good ole' self. Have weaned myself off of two medicines, one that was used to treat night sweats and the other for anxiety. Both were taken at bedtime. I'm not really liking the side effects, slight as they may be. I'm back to being sweaty and hot, and not having a good night's sleep. Have once again experienced discomfort in my right arm for a couple of days. Feeling very heavy, as if something wrong with a nerve. And my pinky finger and palm ached. Every position I would sleep would not be a good position. I feel that it's time to cut my hair short again just to get it off my head. It was my decision to wean myself off, which I did in a two week process according to my doctor. But since have read that one of these medicines is wicked to get off of. It's almost like the drug companies put something in them to keep you on forever. The doses were even small to start with. Now I ponder, is it worth it? Worth not having a good night's sleep?

I try not to complain as I know Barry's going through something much more difficult than me being restless and achy. Just another way that cancer sucks.

A new Year begins

As planned, we went out to dinner last night with about 4 families. We had a very nice time. Afterwards we went to Beckster's house and played Taboo. Not sure of the correct spelling of this game. It was pretty fun. Lots of laughs. We got home at about 11:30 p.m. We opened up a bottle of champagne that had made a home in our refrigerator for quite a long time. Heaven only knows how long. Took Barry all his strength just to unpop the cork.

The 3 of us toasted in the New Year and I undecorated the Christmas tree.

We slept in this a.m. and then I cooked pork chops for lunch. Unfortunately Barry had to go to work early today. Sort of had to eat and run. I did some "spring" cleaning of windows. Tim's friend Ben came over and they played some video games.

And for the first day of the new year, I did not even have a nap! Maybe that will let me sleep better tonight.

I love the ability to look back in time at my blog postings. Otherwise I would not remember what had happened.

Again, have a healthy new year.

Happy new Year

This a.m. we went to a different church. Tim had a friend sleepover, and he was to come with us to our church. At the last minute, I asked if his church was an upbeat music type of church. He said not really, but that his older brother was going to cantor at the morning mass. And I know that both of these boys have such beautiful voices. That was it. We took off to their church and surprised his parents when we walked in. We sat in front of them. It was a small church but with such great warmth. They had usher greeters at the door, and the priest who was lined up to go down the church shook our hands as we entered.

I was truly glad that we went to that mass. His brother sang beautifully. Was especially pleased to see a woman from where I work there, only a couple of weeks from having a stroke. Heard that she was back at church within a week of having it. Apparently a quick healer due to her young age.

Brought Tim to his girl friends' home this afternoon. I took advantage afterwards and too a nap. Ask Barry. He'll tell you that it was not a nap, but a marathon sleep. Felt good.

Well, got to get dressed. Get ready to celebrate the New Year coming in. I saw a sign on a local board today:

May your troubles last as long as your new years resolutions!


Happy and of all things, a Healthy New Year.

Thanks Katie for the carrots. Please come back to see me when it's warmer!

  

My mother treated the horses to carrots when she would take a walk.

  

We only had turkeys in our backyard this week. No deer in site.

  

My mother and I in God's country. Nothing like the country.

  

Christmas Eve with Barry and my mother.

  

A fast week

This week went by too fast. Totally enjoyed having my parents here this week. Worked out great since Barry had some days off from his job, and Tim had no school.
The week consisted of some nice meals, both homecooked and restaurants. Barry did a couple of walks with them and even today we went walking together at the local track.

My mother did good while here. Is dealing with dementia/alzheimers which is a terrible disease. And considering she was in a different environment I think she handled it very well. As is often the case, long term memory is not effected. This at least can be a blessing. She also has a pretty good appetite.

In fact while I was driving them from the airport last Saturday, my dad mentioned that he was looking to sell my mother's car. He had not thought of Tim being a driver in a couple of months. Both Barry and I thought the same thought at the same time: good car for Tim. So we will be buying it from them and getting it in February some time. Barry has already envisioned my driving it to work a lot since it has better gas mileage than my truck. I think it's a perfect fit for our needs.

Again, had a great time with my parents. Have to admit that I shed tears as I left the airport. But have to put them aside and be thankful that they were able to travel here for this special visit. This was the first Christmas in many years that anyone has come to see us. I am so lucky to have had them here. As I told my mom, we are lucky to be mobile.

After I got home, I stopped by the Beckster's home for a quick visit. After finding out that none of us had New Year's Eve plans, she has arranged a get together for a few couples tomorrow night. This is the best way I can see of ringing in the new year. Friends. That's what it's all about.