Barry's home

I got to the hospital by 8 a.m., in time to see Barry's doctor make his rounds. As usual, Barry didn't get discharged until about 11:30 a.m. A very long wait. Got his shot of morphine for the trip home. By morning the pain level was at a 4 thank goodness. Not a good treatment as pain goes. But at least it's history now.

He went right into his bed when we got home. I took phone off the hook and also went to take rest. Woke up with sore throat which I'm trying to fight off.

Tim had been at a school event all day, and he got home at 5 p.m. I went out to get pizza for dinner, no energy to cook. Tasted good.

Barry's back to bed, I'm off to take bath, and hopefully back to bed myself. Can't speak for Barry, but these treatment days take a toll on you. Mentally and physically. Can't wait to get jammies on.

Bye.

Today was one of the tougher chemo treatments. Requiring a lot of morphine, but still he's in pain. Scale of 1 - 10, he says it's a 10. They went back to treating the other side of the liver, whereas the past 2 cycles were on the other side and he had no pain with the chemo. He's had better days. Only thing he's had in stomach today was some water that I gave him through straw. Since the chemo was delayed so much, he didn't get into a room until 2:45 p.m. Therefore he wouldn't be able to get off of his back until about 9 p.m. I left the hospital at 8:30 p.m. so that I could grab a bus back to Family House. They don't run all night and I'm not good at walking Pittsburgh streets by myself.

I'm off to my room for what I hope will be a good sleep.

Back to hospital in a.m. to bring Barry home. Thanks for all your thoughts and prayers. They mean the world to us.

Another chemo treatment

We head to Pittsburgh once again (thank God) tomorrow a.m. for Barry's chemoembolization. Have to be there bright and early. I believe it has been 11 weeks since his last treatment in February.

New job is going well with me. Lots to learn, but am feeling more comfortable every day. Always hard learning new things. One good part of the job is being able to see Barry every day for lunch. In the past I would only see him on the weekends.
And I'm saving lots of wear and tear on my car with the short commute.

If possible tomorrow, I will update you on Barry's procedure. Positive thoughts muchly appreciated.

Poem sent to me by my "bosom buddy" today

Recently I overheard a mother and daughter in their last moments together at the airport. They had announced the departure. Standing near the security gate, they hugged and the mother said, "I love you and I wish you enough".

The daughter replied, "Mom, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Mom".

They kissed and the daughter left. The mother walked over to the window where I was seated. Standing there I could see she wanted and needed to cry. I tried not to intrude on her privacy but she welcomed me in by asking, "Did you ever say good-bye to someone knowing it would be forever?".

"Yes, I have," I replied. "Forgive me for asking, but why is this a forever good-bye?".

"I am old and she lives so far away. I have challenges ahead and the reality is - the next trip back will be for my funeral," she said.

"When you were saying good-bye, I heard you say, 'I wish you enough'. May I ask what that means? ".

She began to smile. "That's a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone". She paused a moment and looked up as if trying to remember it in detail and she smiled! even more. "When we said , 'I wish you enough', we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them". Then turning toward me, she shared the following as if she were reciting it from memory.

I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright no matter how gray the day may appear.

I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun even more.

I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive and everlasting.

I wish you enough pain so that even the smallest of joys in life may appear bigger.

I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.

I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess .

I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye.

She then began to cry and walked away.

They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them but then an entire life to forget them.

Tim is the second person on the left. He was a Captain on a Relay for Life team. These are just a few of his friends that took the time to participate in such a good cause.

The survivor's lap is a difficult lap to walk. But I can tell you personally, each year it does get a little better. The woman on the right with the classy short hair do is one of my new bosum buddies. Each of us show strength as we walk the walk.

We made it another year. Tim joins us on the survivor's lap.

The middle student is Sara. She will be graduating from college next month. I met her at this same Relay for Life in April 2005. A cancer survivor since she was a teenager. She even recognized me once again and gave me a hug.

Footloose

I've just returned from seeing our High School production of Footloose. I saw a 'dress rehearsal' production last night, but it certainly doesn't compare to tonight's opening show. What a talented bunch of kids we have in our own small town. You can tell a good performance when the audience has their eyes focused right on stage watching. The main actress in the show was a girl I never knew could sing. And boy does she have a beautiful voice. The whole cast was top notch. This was Tim's first play/musical. He was in the chorus. I was just as proud of him as any other person in the cast. It got his toes wet and he's looking forward to next year and trying out for a bigger part. As I told him, you have to start somewhere.

I go back to see the show on Friday with Barry. Lots of good music that I don't get tired of.

Congratulations! to everyone that was involved in the production.

Happy Easter

And they talk about Global Warming. This picture was taken today. I had to show my Easter lilly on the table with the snow. Beautiful picture.

I'm dreamin' of a white Easter..

That's what Barry is singing. Probably due to the ground being white outside, and flurries still coming down. Poor forsythia! April can be an iffy month.

I'm off from work today. Yeah. 9 days complete with new job.

CT Scan results

Heard from the doctor today. CT scan results are stable/no change. His next chemo will be April 27th. A bit longer in between chemos due to doctor's schedule and my schedule. I like to have the treatments on a Friday so I only miss the one day of work.. Could have had treatment earlier but it would have been in middle of a week.

March 31-Scooter takes me for a ride

Well, another nice day outside. All week we've had nice warm weather. Actually even drove my scooter after washing it. Couldn't resist riding it. Especially since the calendar does still say March. Did see that snow could be coming next week though. Even did a bit of raking.

Went out to dinner with the Beckster and family. As usual, a nice evening out.

Tim's life has been filled with play rehearsals. Almost every day he has about a 3 hr. rehearsal. Have heard that the end result is usually amazing. Should be with all their hard work. My one concern is that he be able to maintain his grades that he's always had, and do the play. Plus outdoor soccer is starting. He does enjoy the play, even if he is just in the chorus. I think that life could be a bit easier once he gets his license in August. This week was just a bit overwhelming for me, with new job and play practices, along with guitar lesson. Plus the anxiety of CT scans for Barry. But as Tim told me, "mom, you're doing fine." I don't know how parents can have their kids involved in so many activities. My mind (especially this week) could not handle it.

We should hear on Monday on how Barry's CT scans went. Then we'll have a plan for his next chemo treatment.

Next CT scans

Barry's been scheduled for his next CT scans this Friday in Pittsburgh. It's been 7 weeks since his treatment. If there is growth, he will have chemo next Friday, Good Friday. If there is no change the chemo will be April 20th. Of course we are praying for no change, just to make it farther between treatments. Less time away from his job.

First day complete

My first day on the new job is done. I met so many wonderful people. Wish I could remember all their names but I can't. It was also special just seeing some familiar faces there. It was a typical first day on the job, listening to so much information but knowing that it is only my first day. As my boss said, she was told 3 years and she would know the complete cycle of the job!
Everyone was so kind to me, and it's my kind of department to work in: food is appreciated there! One thing that this job offers that my other job didn't: the ability to wear sandals. Oh yes, free local newspaper.. Can't beat that.

I did come home for lunch to see Barry which was nice. Only drawback to leaving the college for lunch, is you lose your parking spot. I think that my scooter will come in handy due to its size, especially for parallel parking on the street.

A new beginning

Today was an absolutely gorgeous day. Temps hitting 70 degrees I believe. Tim went shopping at Goodwill for his outfit to wear in the school play of Footloose. While he was gone, I went to the college track and walked my first mile of this year. My goal is to get back to walking since it's right where I'll be working. Plus I'll be getting out of work 1/2 hr earlier than I'm used to, and saving about 1/2 hr of commuting. I washed my truck and Tim's car later on in the day. Couldn't resist the nice warm temps. Felt like heaven. Talked to my parents on Cape Cod and they had temps in the 40s. What a difference.

Oh yes, I may have walked a mile today but I also enjoyed 2 strawberry shortcake desserts! Oh well....

Just like a first day of school, I've got my clothes all set for my new job tomorrow. Can't wait. I hope I sleep well tonight. I haven't had a new job in 4 years. A new beginning.

Changes

Today I was just going to post about tomorrow being my last day at the bank, but today's news put a little change in my thought process. I heard that Elizabeth Edwards is battling cancer once again. She went through breast cancer in 2004 and now has been diagnosed with cancer on a rib and possibly lung. Yes, cancer sucks. Doesn't matter who you are or what you do, you can be a target for this terrible disease. What gets me the most is the headlines that the media put out there about the news conference: Edwards wife's cancer treatable not curable. Why is there a need to put this spin on her recent diagnosis. I swear the media is just out to get people. It's hard enough to hear the word cancer. Sure, no cure now but was this conference about that? Don't think so.

Well, tomorrow is my last day at the bank. This week has certainly dragged for me. After work today (early day) we went out for drinks and dinner at a Mexican restaurant. I hope my new boss is as kind and compassionate as this boss has been to me. And I think she will be.

I start my new job on Monday. Have already heard from several people at the College looking for lunch dates. Nice going someplace that you know other people. Looking forward to this change.

It's my TWO year Cancer-versary today!

And to think that J remembered it. You can tell who has personally been touched by cancer to remember such a date.

Yes, 2 years ago today I first heard that dreaded word "cancer". It's so clear to me. Look at what has happened since to us. So much, the good the bad and the ugly.

I'm headed to work early this a.m. for a "breakfast with the President" meeting. Took me 4 years to be able to get up to that special floor of that building, and am looking forward to it.

Well, off to work I go. And with a much clearer mind. Thanks.

Sclerosing adenosis-Diagnosis that I did write down

Sclerosing adenosis
A guide to diagnosis and treatment
Sclerosing adenosis is a benign condition whereby extra tissue grows within the breast lobules.
It can cause recurring pain, or result in a small, firm lump in the breast.
Diagnosis
Your GP will refer you to a specialist at a breast clinic for a mammogram or ultrasound scan.
Because sclerosing adenosis can be difficult to distinguish from breast cancer, you may be advised to have a biopsy or a small operation to remove the affected area.
The tissue is then tested in the laboratory to confirm the diagnosis.
Sclerosing adenosis is also found by chance on routine mammograms, or following breast surgery.
You can find out more about breast clinic investigations from the link below.
Treatment
Following a clear diagnosis, no further treatment is required, although you may choose to take painkillers if needed.
What this means
Having sclerosing adenosis doesn't increase your risk of breast cancer, but it is important to continue to be breast aware and to go back to your GP if you notice any further changes.

4 P.M Call from Dr.-BENIGN!!

I called the Cancer Center this a.m. to have them tell Dr. G. that I was home today. This way he could call me with the results if he gets them today. I heard from the Center when they called me back, that Dr. G would not be in until Monday. She said that he would be only person who could read the results. This is crazy. I asked if another oncologist would please read them and call me, as waiting until Monday is an eternity. You would think that they would be considerate enough and able to read any biopsy result that they got, regardless of who the patient is.

I also took a step and left a message on Dr. G's home phone about this. Not something I would normally do, but to me this is very important. The not-knowing is the worst thing, something I tell others of all the time.

4 P.M. Just got call from an oncologist at Cancer Center. BENIGN tissue samples!! Nothing cancer related. Thank God.