Another "special" day for me

This afternoon at work I had flowers delivered to me from my sister Maureen. As she has told me, they were not for my birthday (PS, which is Monday). They were a "just because" bouquet of daisies and carnations.

Then I went to get my hair cut after work, and I was presented with a gift card for a hair cut from her. That was my birthday gift. She had to do some detective work to have these two things occur so nicely. Had to call the College last week for the department and address of where I work, and had to email Barry for the location of where I get my hair/nails done. Heck, I never knew that Barry knew where that was! I guess he does pay attention..

So, here's to another special day for me.

THANKS

Mammogram is fine!

Yeah, a test came back fine. I'm pretty pleased about that.

I got to the hospital early since I wasn't sure how traveling would be with the weather. My appt. was at 3:00 p.m. and I think I was done there by that time. They use the new digital mammogram, first time I've had that done. So within minutes the results are done, and much more accurate than the analog mammos.

I then went up a floor to meet with Dr. B. who heads the Magee Breast Cancer Center.
It must have been my special day, because I just had taken my coat off and my name was called. I only had to wait about 5 minutes after having my vitals taken before the doctor came into the room. Now that is a miracle in itself. God was truly on my side today!

The plan is this: after my CT/PET scan on March 11th, I will contact Dr. B for the results. And from there he will help me with any treatment plan that is needed. You can't beat having a Pittsburgh doctor on your side. I will also be seeing the local oncologist here. Am sure if need be, the 2 doctors will put their heads together if there is a need.

Again, a great day as far as testing goes. And the mammo is done for another year.

Have you had your mammo lately?

Tomorrow-mammo and consulation at Magee

I will work a few hours in a.m., and then go have my 4th radiation treatment. Then I will be heading to Pittsburgh for my yearly mammogram appt., followed by a consultation with the doctor who heads the breast cancer care center at Magee Hospital. He's asked me to bring all my records/mammos since being diagnosed in March 2005. The mammogram is at 3 p.m. I'm not looking forward to the drive as out of the blue the weather prediction has gone from a rainy day to a sleet/rain/snow day. Yuck. Not my kind of driving day.

X marks the spot where the cancer is being radiated. The purple line next to it is marking where my port is. As you can see, the port extends out.

 

This Nike Breast Cancer shirt was a gift from BJ and some girl friends. I love the colors. Wore it to church last week to brighten up the day.

 

This is a plant that the President of the College sent to me on behalf of he and his wife, and the College family. I'm blessed to be working there.

 

 

First radiation treatment done....

For lunch I had a few minutes of radiation...along with an egg salad sandwich. Can't beat that combination, can you? You know you're in the right place for radiation when signs are all about you stating "CAUTION RADIATION." Very comforting. It was like old times as I lay down in a dark room, with a massive machine hovering over me, radiating my chest. For most of the time I just counted numbers to pass the time. You don't feel anything but you certainly do know what is happening to your body. You are totally alone as the technicians leave the room and the radiation begins. This is when you have lots of time to think, if only for the few minutes it takes.

11 more treatments to go and then I'll be having another CT/PET scan at Hillman Cancer Center. I honestly think I'll be getting more treatments since 3 years ago I had about 35 sessions and that was just as a "precaution." 12 just seems too few in my opinion. But perhaps these treatments are giving out more radiation.

Our Relay for Life News..........

This is the email that I got last week from a student at the College about the April 12th Relay for Life:


Message: Hello, My name is Taylor -. I am the head chair for Westminster's Relay for life this year. Through a grapevine of people I heard about you and your husband's battle with cancer. I am sure you know about Relay for Life and what we stand for and hope to accomplish. The reason I am e-mailing you is that we at Relay for life would be honored if you and your husband would cut the ceremonial ribbon for this years Relay for Life. This year's Relay is on April 12. I hope you and your husband will consider doing this for us. If you have any questions or would like to talk to me in person please e-mail me and let me know. Thank you, Taylor -

(last name omitted due to privacy)

I was so honored to be asked to cut the ceremonial ribbon. Barry and I have agreed to be a part of this special event.

I am a bit disappointed that Tim will not be able to attend the Relay since he will be away on a spring band trip to Tenn. It will certainly be different without him walking with us.

First radiation appt. is tomorrow!

After two preliminary appts. I am scheduled to have my first dose of radiation tomorrow at 11:30 a.m. All the appts. will be that same time, Monday through Friday. Always have the weekend off. Yeah. The time works for me since I can incorporate having radiation to be part of my lunch hour. Talk about fun! I'm looking forward to going back to work with a certain "glow" about me. My chest is marked up quite nicely, as if a child decided to draw on it with a permanent marker.
Today's appt. consisted of laying on the table for about 40 minutes, unable to move an inch, and having films made as the machine would circle my body from side to side.
Don't worry, you know me: I'll eventually take pictures of the process. Bob and Ursula were the technicians today. By the time I got off of the hard table, my collar bone area was hurting so bad from the positioning of my arms to be over my head. It seems that I'll be having pain for awhile. Just a normal work day is painful to me by about noontime. Don't get me wrong. I'm not whining but just explaining how I feel.

So, that's it for now. A new journey begins tomorrow.....

PS. Yeah for my sister Maureen as she had her mammogram done today and everything is fine. Just because of me my sisters are now at high risk. Good news, Moe!

Getting set for some radiation

For the first time in years, the college where I work said that non-essential workers did not have to work today due to inclement weather. This is where it's great to be classified as non-essential. I'll take that adjective anyday. So I got a snow day along with Tim. I went back to bed and didn't wake up until 1 p.m.! And I have to say that this was about the best sleep I've had in a long time.

Barry had gone out for KFC while Tim did the shoveling.

I met with Dr. Proctor, my new radiation oncologist, yesterday morning. After a lengthy appointment it was decided that I would be given 12 "rounds" of radiation on the tumor. The tumor is located near my left breast (opposite the original cancer), just beside where my port is. Radiation is given to patients on a Monday-Friday schedule so one week would equal 5 rounds. It is also given at the same time of day, each day. Consistency is very important.

Tomorrow a.m. I will go back to cancer center to be "marked" for the radiation. I've been through this in 2005 so am familiar with the process. A CT scan is done to locate the tumor, and the doctor will make permanent markings on my chest and back so that radiation will be targeted at the precise spot. To this day I still can see the magic marker dots on my body from the last time. Dr. Christie, my surgeon, has already inserted a marker in the tumor that will help the doctor greatly in locating the tumor. I've been told that the appointment will be about an hour.

I'm not sure when radiation will start as there are a couple other steps that will need to be done. But compared to about 25 rounds of radiation last time, this is minimal. Just hope that some shrinkage comes from these treatments.

I do feel better than I did upon hearing the news the other day. You can't stay down, you have to keep going. A co-worker asked me the day I got the news how working fit into my life with cancer. I told her that for sure working is the best medicine for me. Keeps my mind focused on other things besides myself. And being in such a caring community is so beneficial. I don't know how anyone could go through an illness without the love and support of others around. I continue to be blessed and will continue to be positive. (PS. Doesn't mean I can't shed a tear, here or there.)

Happy Valentine's Day!

Happy 17 Birthday TIM and Happy Birthday MOM

Tomorrow is their birthday. Let's wish them a Happy Birthday!

Biopsy shows positive for cancer

I've heard those words twice before today, but today's words have just hit me like a brick. Perhaps since I'm still recovering from the extensive surgery from November. You can never get used to the words. I cry today not for myself but for Timmy. No kid needs to have his parents, both of them, go through this shit. And I mean that. I do know that he too is a survivor, but he's also my son. Just a bad day. What else can I say.

Tomorrow this darkness will go away.

Thanks for your continued prayers.

CANCER SUCKS

Rest rest rest

It's been a weekend of being in bed for this family. Barry and Tim were sick last week with bug like symptoms, achey bones/chills/fever. Tim missed some school time.
Barry was out of work anyway recovering from his chemo treatment. Not the best timing for him. Bad enough to have cancer, but to also have this crap is not fun. Barry heads back to work today, and I know he'll be anxious to get home and into bed.

Friday evening I came down with a wicked stomach ache (sort of like when I had kidney stone). Becky had just brought over a huge cheesecake for us. I had to run off on her it was so bad. I was a poor hostess. I was in bed very early that night.

Yesterday a.m., I woke up with achey legs and a fever of 101 degrees. I took some tylenol and went back to bed. By 3 p.m. I felt better. Don't know what that was all about, but am glad it did subside. Let's hope it stays away.

And as for today, I've taken it easy again. Very high winds with snow showers this a.m. Right now it's 6 degrees and wind continues to blow strong. I had such a nice surprise this p.m. while I was resting. BJ brought over some homemade soup, brownies, chocolate covered pretzels and a hyacinth plant on behalf of her and some of my good friends. I think my friends want to fatten me up! They know how much I love chocolate.

Tomorrow I head back to work full-time. Actually I've been working about 6 hrs. a day anyway. Don't know how it will be until you do it.

Tuesday I've been scheduled to meet with new radiation/oncologist. Have no biopsy results yet but this appointment has been made in order to be proactive. If in fact this new area is cancer, we know that it is aggressive and we can't just sit around. Radiation will probably be the route we take.

Happy 55th Birthday, Maureen...

That's it. Let's all wish my sister a happy birthday, and welcome back to the work force TOMORROW.

A very long day in the city..

Of all days, Tim woke up after a night of not feeling well with a high temp of 102. Gave him ibuprofen that has helped in the past. I called our friend Lisa to bring over some ginger ale for him, and also told her that I would give Tim her work number in case he needed anything. He slept until 1 p.m. Fever has dropped but is still just laying down as of this writing.

The biopsy was right on time. A CT scan is done so that the doctor will know where the area is that needs to be biopsied. Then the area is marked. The area is numbed by some medicine and a fine needle was inserted into the tissue involved. There was some pushing involved due to the needle hitting the mesh from the November surgery.
Eventually the needle was deep enough to get a sample. This was shown to be the case since I was once again put under the CT scan for pictures. The doctors immediately took the tissue and had it examined. This took about 10 minutes, a long 10 minutes. I was sweating and unable to move, even my hands. Felt as if I was going to throw up. Nerves. The technician told me to take deep breaths which did help. Dr. Christie came back and said there was enough tissue and that the preliminary findings show the characteristics of cancer. Not surprised. I do understand that these are just the early findings and that more tests will be done. He then inserted what are called markers into this same area just in case I have the cyberknife radiation. But remember this: in October 2007 my insurance company denied this procedure due to primarily approved for brain cancer, not breast cancer. Dr. Christie was going to consult with head of radiology this p.m. to go over this with him. Has mentioned that if cancer, would apply to insurance company and then appeal strongly.

The whole procedure took less than 1 hr. Got back to my room and boy did my back/shoulder area hurt on side of biopsy. Immediately was given pain meds. I got discharged at 3 p.m.

A very long day for both of us. Had to pay some bills and am just now heading to put jammies on. My brain is tired and my body needs a good nights sleep. If only...

PS. It's pretty bad when you know a hospital inside and out. But am thankful for living so close to such good hospitals.

PSS. My dad's home from hospital. Yeah.

PSSS. Discharge papers wrote: avoid sexual activity today. Now that's funny!

Dad still in hospital

Well, my dad is still in hospital. They haven't diagnosed his problem yet. Have taken lots of blood and tests. And do you believe they are mentioning discharging him tomorrow? Good ole insurance companies. If they can't find out what's wrong with you after 3 days, you're out... Today he's going through the chills, wearing his sweat pants and having room temperature as high as the tropics. Terrible feeling. Have heard from his friend that has been visiting him that he does look a bit better colorwise tonight.

Tomorrow I head back to Pittsburgh for a CT scan guided needle biopsy. Have to be there at 10 a.m. for a noon procedure. Am glad that it's not the usual 6 a.m. time.
That hour is yucky. Won't have results for at least 7 days.

Tim's still not feeling good today. Flu like symptoms. Did go to school for 1/2 day which actually surprised me. His choice. Tough like his parents. And I'm taking vitamin c's to be proactive in not getting sick. Just need to make it through tomorrow's biopsy. Eyes are a bit sore but can't think about getting sick now.

Dad admitted to hospital today...

My father had been feeling sick/crappy all week. My sister Maureen went to the Cape just to make sure he was OK. Upon getting there Friday night, he had thrown up his dinner. She got him to eat some jello and toast. Took care of my mom by washing her hair and doing her nails. Next a.m. (Sat.) she went back. Dad was dressed and seemed better. She took my mother for few hrs. to give dad some relief. At 1 p.m. she got back to their house and he was worse. Called their friend to come sit with mom, and took Dad to ER. Was there for about 4 hrs. on IV. Blood work OK. They changed his anti nausea med to be less sedative. Got home at about 5:30 p.m.

My sister was supposed to return to work today after having her drive-by hysterectomy but had to call out due to dad's health.

This a.m. she went back to see how he was doing and he wasn't any better, was very dizzy. So it's been a repeat of yesterday and they are back at hospital now.



It's tough to be sick, any age. Today my brother will be going to the Cape to stay overnight there.

It's during these times I wish I lived closer to be able to help them.


Updated blog 10:35 PM

My father ended up being admitted to hospital this a.m. onto the cardiac floor. While in ER his heart did something called "flutter" so that will be monitored. I did talk to him tonight and of course he's still not himself. Am glad that he was able to watch the Patriots (but I do know he would have loved them to win). At least he's in the hospital finally getting the care that he needs. As for my mother, my sister has brought her to my brother's house to stay there tomorrow on his day off. He's a chef/owner of restaurant so works tons of hours. Already worked about 100 hrs. this week. I think my sister is due back to work this Thursday, so it'll be up in the air who will take care of my mother if dad is still in hospital. I can only pray that eventually a plan is set up for such emergency situations: such as an "adult sitter." There's got to be such a person who could watch and keep my mom company.

Tim's come down with fever at about 5 p.m. today, along with aches/chills. But watched TV with me tonight.

CT Scan Results are in

Yesterday I met for the first time my new oncologist. Very nice woman. She didn't know what to expect upon entering the room to meet me as she had my recent surgery papers in hand. But she was pleasantly pleased with what she saw. Saw no need for chemo or radiation according to surgeon's report from 11/1/07. Especially after all that I had been through. As they were making a mammogram appt. for me, she was able to pull up the results of the CT scan from this past Friday. She then brought me back into the room to go over them. Here's a summary of the findings:

Lung windows demonstrate scattered 3 mm pulmonary nodules, some of which are new since previous scan of Oct 2007, suspicious for metastatic disease.

There is a small soft tissue density measuring 2.2 X 1.7 cm at the left 2nd costosternal junction, which might represent residual tumor or scar tissue.

Evaluation of the liver demonstrates a nonspecific 3 mm lesion in segment 7.

--------------------

She has scheduled a CT scan to be done in 6 weeks rather than the usual 3 months, to check on the nodules in the lungs. Both lungs have them.


Today, Oct. 30th, I met with surgeon in Pittsburgh Dr. Christie to go over the same CT scan results. He was the physician who had ordered the tests for me. It had been 3 months since my last scans. He agreed that the scan should be done in 6 weeks. But his main concern is the tissue that appears to be in same area as cancer was. He has immediately ordered me to have a needle guided biopsy/CT Scan guided on next Tuesday. He will be peforming this for me, with pathologists working by his side to verify that enough tissue is being taken for a good sampling. Believe me, I had no feelings that anything would show up on this test. Especially since I'm still healing from the surgery. Lots of things going on in my mind right now. But one day at a time, one test at a time, and if needed a nice dessert treat in between!
Test results take a week. Main thing is to get the tests done.

As each test comes and goes, I wonder when "enough is enough." Don't get me wrong, I'm delighted to be here typing away. But talk about an emotional roller coaster.
Geez, I don't think I'll ever make employee of the month with perfect attendance!

Friday's happenings...

Barry and I got to the hospital as planned at 6 a.m. Boy was it cold with the temp at about 5 degrees. At about 9 a.m. I left Barry to go to Hillman Cancer Center for my CT scans for chest and abdomin, which included drinking 2 containers of the terrible contrast. Took all I could just to do that. No matter what flavor they give you, to me it tastes terrible. Barry just chugs it down when he does his tests.
I finished those tests at about 12 noon just in time for a quick cup of soup in their cafe. Then I was off to see my plastic surgeon for a 12:45 p.m. appt. This appt. is always quick, no waiting involved. Everything is healing nicely and I don't have to have any further follow ups with him. One down.

Earlier in a.m. I got news that there was a room available for me at the Family House. This facilitly is about 11 blocks from the hospital. I immediately went over there, got a precious parking spot behind their building and checked in to my room. By 2 p.m. I was under the covers just to rest my body/brain and to get warmed up. At both previous hospitals I was never able to get warmed up, even with donated blankets.

I took the shuttle bus back to the hospital and got there by 4:30 p.m. Barry had got to the room at about 3:30 p.m. He was in the worst agony. Felt as if a truck was sitting on his chest. First time ever he was using swear words which is not like him at all. Not only was he suffering, he was not able to get off of his back due to the chemo procedure. Morphine was not helping which was usual. I quickly jumped in to be his pain management advocate. Toradol took forever to get up from the pharmacy. Followed by more morphine. It's a terrible, hopeless feeling to watch someone you love be in such pain. Only thing I could do was to hold his hand and occassionally rub his feet. By 6 p.m. he was able to finally fall asleep for a short while. To hear his slight snoring was a God sent noise.

Dinner came, but of course he wasn't up to eating. So I enjoyed bits and pieces of it. I stayed until 8 p.m. Since he was finally sleeping some I thought it was a good time to leave. He told me the next day that it wasn't until midnight that he felt better.

I took the shuttle back to the Family House and I was under the covers by 8:30 p.m. I had such a feeling of comfort just knowing he was finally sleeping and that I didn't have to drive home that evening. These housing units are so clean and the people are so caring. So many stories are shared by the people openly. One lady's husband has been in hospital for 3 months with transplant issues. Another 21 year old girl has virus and it was 3 years ago she had heart transplant. And you can't beat the price of a room. A single cost only $30. I just can't explain the warmth I feel when I go in to the room on a day Barry has his treatment. A long day for both of us.

Yesterday I got to the hospital by 9 a.m. and was able to speak briefly to his oncologist. By that time Barry was feeling so much better. So thankful for that. His doctor also wanted to see my surgical site and to show his resident. He said that we've been through a lot for a couple. I agree.

Barry did rest most of the day yesterday, and continues to do the same this a.m.
After church last night, I made homemade chicken noodle soup with cheese tortellinis.
A good day for that.

And here it is Sunday. Tuesday I meet with new oncologist Dr. Simon, and Wednesday I head back to Pittsburgh to meet with surgeon Dr. Christie to go over the CT scan results. I will also be discussing the continuous pain I've been having in right clavicle area from arm movement. I've been having to take more pain meds the past couple of days. But was told over the phone last week from his nurse that it probably is just the healing process, but the CT scans will put it all together.
As for saying I don't have cancer, I will never say that. As a good friend of mine told me (JK), just say "so far, so good."

Thanks for all your continued prayers and support.

PS. Today is going to be "clean the house day" for Tim. He doesn't know that yet. With both Barry and I unable to do lifting and so forth, Tim will be a great help.
(not sure if he will think that, though!) One thing that will change this cycle for Barry, he won't have to take care of the house and me like he did in November. He can deal with his own healing.

Barry's most painful treatment in 2 years

Need I say anything else. Will update later, after I take a nap. Am glad he's home and resting now.