Getting what I've earned in all my working years.

Yesterday I went with Barry and filed for disability. Never thought I would be doing that, but I've not received a cent from the college in all these months. Perhaps I was supposed go ask but when you don't feel good those things don't pop into your head. And up until the brain tumor I was OK in working part time, and then the cancer found it's way into my head and that was a zinger. Once I knew I had been paralyzed and my speech had been impaired, that shook me up some. It was my husband and my family that pushed me to file with social security, to get something to go with all those times I went to work feeling not so good. But there is now a part of me that feels defeated, as my job was my therapy. Sort of like a death, a loss. But as Tim said to me, now I can concentrate on healing myself. I've raised a good smart child. And on my side is that disability has just included breast cancer with a higher rating as to speed it through the process for people to make claims on it. The woman at the office yesterday a.m. said that with all that I've been through it will be a quick decision.

I had not told my co-workers yet. I wanted to get the papers filed and people told in person. I stopped by the college before lunch to see my bosses but they were at meeetings. I did whisper in HR's ear as we hugged that I had just filed. She said good for you, and that she would be the one that papers would go to. Made some visits to other friends but didn't say a word. Just told the man that heads the department the news.

And I do know that between all the support the college has given us, it will continue. Along with the churches in the area. Heck, it's such a great community.

So when I came in from my job, Barry could tell that I've been crying. It's just another turn in the road of life, and the system is out there to help people like me.
I certainly never abused this illness, and will continue to fight with more strength.

Tim's soccer team went to playoffs in Erie this p.m. Barry drove up by himself. Just heard that the team lost. It was going to be so cold. One thing I did hear was that Tim used his hand warmers to keep warm.

Weekend update

Twice I've had diarrhea with the past few days. Not sure what has caused it. One of days all I did was sleep all day. But have to say that was way my body is healing from recent chemo treatment.

Tim won the soccer game on Saturday and they are now in the playoffs. Yahoo. Barry did see this game on Saturday. But the next game is Tuesday night and it's up in Erie. Not local.

Becky called me at noon today. Asked if I listened to the church on the radio. I said no. She's going to get tape of the sermon as my name was mentioned in Lisa H.'s
sermon. I am considered to be "insprirational". I tell you the truth that there are many days I don't feel that way. And I am this way for my son Tim. If you know me, you know that fact. He's the reason I keep on going forward. I am so proud of him.

Senior Night at Tim's soccer game

Since it was Sr. night for Tim's soccer game, they were recognized and had photos taken with their parents. Or in my situation, with me. It was a large senior group of about 12 or so kids. Had lots of people taking pictures, tomorrow I will download.

When I got there it was just right the temperature, but within 10 minutes I was freezing. First place that freezes is my chest plate and then right arm. Then I moved up to the press box. Sheltered from the elements but still couldn't get the chill off. I couldn't wait to get home but wanted to see the whole game as it could be the last time I get a chance to see Tim play. I was so pleased to have Patti's company up there, she had asked Beckster where I was. The score: a win for us. 12-zero.

The walk to the car seemed to take so long. I was in so much pain. Hard to explain. It's a muscle aching, and as I fight it it gets worse. Didn't even see Tim after the game. He unfortunately did not score any goals. But played well.

Jammies are on, pain meds are in system. Blood work tomorrow.

Hopefully the tenseness will go away soon. I know from this I will be spending most of these evenings to come inside the house.

Thenks Beckster, Rick and Patti.

Happy Anniversary, Maureen and Gene

A welcome light overlooks the colors of fall. So pretty. You have to look for the little things in life that make you smile.

 

I personally don't consider back of the head as I would the front of the face. Do you agree, Jean?

 

One more day of a shot-white blood cells

Tomorrow will be my 4th trip to the Cancer Center for the shot. And by 2 p.m. daily, I am wiped out. I can't wait until Tim is done with soccer, that way I have someone to stay awake for and with. When he's gone to his games, I just sleep. Thursday is Senior night. I'll be there to celebrate his last game of his high school career. Am hoping it is warmer and dryer than today. It was raining and about 37 degrees for today's game. I may just have to stay in press box until the portion of the game that sr.s are recognized. Otherwise, I'm going to be in serious chest plate pain.

Yesterday a dream came true to me. The Pres. of the College and his wife stopped by as promised while on a weekend trip for Homecoming. He had retired a few months ago, and we've been keeping up to date. I was so excited and honored to think they took time out of their busy lives to stop by and give hugs to me. I took a few pictures but promised Jean I would not blog them. But I do have the 3 of us as my wallpaper on my computer. I told them a personal goal for me would be to go visit them in Virginia. Everyone needs a goal, something to look forward to.

While I was at Cancer Center a friend of mine was there. She's going to have a mastectomy in a couple of weeks. Not sure what type, but I as I left her I gave her a hug for good luck.

Heard from my dad on Cape Cod that my best friend from my childhood Mary Lou called and stopped by for a visit today. She got to drive him around the area, as he's not been able to drive himself. She was on Cape Cod for Sunday Night Football and the Patriots I believe. She also contacted me to tell me how much fun she had with the ole fart...

Minor bone aches

That's it. Just minor bone aches for the day. Must mean the shot is working on my white blood cells. Not mentioning my chest plate, because that's a continuous pain.
Listened to church on the radio. Good thing. Could hear lots of coughing in the church. And when I am at home, I can still have my jammies on and under the covers!
Too many germs. By the way, hair still on my head...

Tim and his new friend.

 

My best friend, Tim.

 

I just love this town.

 

Tim and the Marching Band on a beautiful fall day.

 

Another good day

Another good day as days can be. We went to the College's Homecoming Parade. It was a day meant for a parade. Just the right fall temperature. Tim did yard work and mulched up lots of leaves. There are still more to come down. Job security.

It's coming out..

Had asked Dr. S. today about losing the hair. She said that it would definitely be gone. It has been 3 weeks. Just now I was doing my hair pulling test, and she was right on target. The signs are there. But I told her, I've been there before. Just now it's a new season. Have never been bald in cold temps. Perhaps that will make me wear my wigs. Will be visiting my girl friend Retta soon for a buzz cut. Last week I went to another hairdresser with Barry for a short cut. I was in desperate need for a trim and clean up. Unlike the times before, I am not rushing to get it cut. Don't ask me why...'cause I have no answer.

Chemo 2 continues

Well, got home at noon from having chemo. Barry had made me grilled cheese sandwich and tomato soup. I watched my soap which I had not done that often. By 2 p.m. I was in my jammies.

Beckster called me from the soccer field and told me in loud Beckster voice that Tim had scored TWO goals so far. (they ended up winning the game). While I was on the phone she cheered because he attempted a shot on goal. Told me not to worry about not being able to see Tim perform tonight, and that made the flood gates open. I had been thinking in my brain of ways I could see them perform, how to sneak in, sit all by myself isolated. But she put a reality to the situation and said it's not worth putting myself in that situation with so many sick people. I understood, and explained that Lisa P. was going to tape it for me anyway. Thanks Lisa. Tim gave me the disk, now I just have to see how I play it on DVD player. I'm not that great with disks. Cathy C. and she said she would tape for me.


Tim did soccer and left early from the game to go to chorus. Cathy C. took him from one place to the other. He just got home 1/2 hr ago all excited from his afternoon of activities. Rightly so.

I think his first band concert is the last week of Oct. I haven't checked to see how that fits into my chemo schedule.

When I was laying down I think Maureen called me. She wanted to see how I was feeling. Conversation was very quick, so quick it doesn't even seem to register in my brain! Silly me. I have an excuse, chemo brain...

Thanks for all you blog watchers. I'm impressed a blog entry on a chemo day...


PS. Have to say that my pain level is down. Hopefully it's because I was in bed truly all day. Even my chest plate area feels better. Or perhaps it's just the fresh drugs inside my body, finding their way to the bad cancer... One can hope, can't they?

Off to chemo #2 (lost track of what type of treatment)

Heading to 9:30 a.m. chemo. All depends on my counts being good. And then to bed I'm pretty sure.

Overly tired

Getting ready for chemo this Thursday. Pain continues to be especially in collar bone area. Have told so many medical people about the area in question, but no conclusion. Very frustrating. You can tell I'm not myself when I don't post on my blog. That or I don't have anything to say!

Tim has a chorus concert this Wednesday, but I think I'm going to pass on it. Need to save my limited energy for Thursday, and I don't need to be at risk in such a crowded area. Tim will be singing for the first time as a Chamber singer, so I sure do hope someone will videotape this for me. Would mean a lot to me.

Non cancerous cyst

Just got off the phone with dad, previously Maureen. The cyst was not cancerous, and he's going home today. Yahoo. And to think he had to wait all that time for someone to diagnose the problem. I understand that issue for sure. He even sounded stronger in his voice this a.m.

The day started out productive

The day started out to be productive, but by lunch I was in agony with collar bone area. Immediately hit the bed (after a couple of pills) and just got up a 8ish. Everytime I would look at the clock I couldn't figure out if it was AM or PM!
I feel fine now.

Have spoken to my dad after his surgery that went well. He apparently climbed from table to bed or vice versa. Is still in some kind of discomfort but am praying for his cheerful voice on the other end of the phone.

I may just be feeling the effects of the low white blood cells, this was going to be my week of going down/down. But have to do what my body tells me, rest.

Prayers to Dad tomorrow

And to the surgeons' hands and their skills while they do the surgery. I believe it is going to be done at lunch time tomorrow. I pray for healing at a steady pace, and a lot of support. Especially for medical care.