Withdrawal

As I continue to be honest on my blog, here's what's been happening with me the past couple of days.

The past couple of nights I've been having some very bad dreams, the type I would normally attribute to after I have eaten msg. I would wake up very sweaty. Plus since yesterday morning I've been having vertigo problems, the weird feeling of emptiness in my head/dizzy when just moving around. Took tylenol during the day yesterday, and was in bed by 7:30 p.m. Didn't get up until 3:30 a.m. for bathroom break. And the vertigo continued today. I made an appt. to see my doctor this afternoon. While waiting in the office, something popped into my head. For some reason, out of a different routine perhaps, I had stopped taking effexor at bedtime for night sweats. I honestly can't remember the day I stopped taking it. Don't ask me how this happened, but I'll blame it on chemo brain. Hence, withdrawal had set in. I am blessed in the fact that one symptom common to this type of withdrawal is thoughts of suicide. Thanks goodness that symptom did not come into play! The dr. agreed totally with what I had just told him. And the stiffness in my neck was a bunch of built up stress. Wonder why? He's a good dr. and does understand what we are going through.

The dr. gave me a few weeks of the medicine to take, but 1/2 the current dosage. I have already taken a pill to get it back into my system. This way I can attempt to wean myself off. But he told me to monitor myself, to see how I do with the night sweats. I now know why they say not to stop taking medication without consulting a dr. It's a terrible feeling.

Am looking forward to seeing Barry come home. I only wish it wasn't such a long trip for him to make. Tomorrow is his last day there, but unfortunately he'll be there in the afternoon. And after being there all week, I know he'll want to come home right away. I just hope that he rests a bit before the return trip.

Rain rain go away

We continue to have rain, but not as bad as Massachusetts. Thank goodness. Hopefully it will stop soon.

Last night Tim and I ate at a local restaurant. Pretty good food. But tonight I decided to be creative and make a new dish. It was delicious. Tim went back for seconds. Here's the link:

http://www.foodnetwork.com/food/recipes/recipe/0,1977,FOOD_9936_25022,00.html

If I can make it, anyone can. It's considered a 30-minute meal, not sure exactly how long it took me to make. Definitely one I will make again. I always have chicken tenderloins in freezer which makes it very easy.

Barry's been doing OK at his seminar. One thing he is noticing is the heavy smoke in the restaurants. A smell that we can do without. Times do change. I can't understand how anyone can enjoy puffin' away while having a meal. Beats me.

Well, that's it for today.

Happy Mother's Day!

For Mother's Day today I woke up and cooked Barry a nice breakfast. He left at about 9 a.m. to travel to a training seminar in Illinois. Why he likes to drive I will never know. I think it's about a 9 hr. drive (600 miles), but time will tell. He'll be there all week and I'm sure we will miss him a lot. He could have flown but chose to drive. Flying in an airplane while going through chemo is not the best thing to do due to so many recycled germs. And he's looking at the bright side of the trip, a chance to see more of the USA.

Tim and I are headed to church soon. He has a soccer game later this afternoon. So far the sky has not opened up to rain. Just a cool cloudy day, unlike last year when the temps were in 70s. (I looked back at my blog to find that.) I haven't even made up baskets of flowers yet due to the cool weather we've been having.

Update: Barry had to take detour on trip due to at least a 10 mile backup (fatality involved) and that part of the road could be closed until evening. Thank goodness for CB radio. While on the many miles of detour he had stopped for a quick burger lunch and called us.

Tim and I ended up not going to away soccer game. Found out that it was over 1 hr and 15 mins away. Another soccer parent and I debated about going and made adult decision not to go. Am I glad about that. Shortly after deciding this, the sky opened up with thunder and the rains came. Good napping weather! My way of celebrating my special day! Actually Tim ended up in his room napping, too. Soon we may go for chinese buffet.

7 PM. Barry has arrived at the hotel. Thank goodness. A very long trip for one person to drive. Now I can relax knowing he's there.

A day without rain

It turned out to be a pretty decent day. Tim and I were able to cut the lawn today. We also got invited out to dinner with two other families. Of course our friend the Beckster organized it all. We are truly blessed to have such good friends. So much for the much needed diet. But heck, there's always tomorrow...

Thanks! for the friendship.

MUGA results

I met with a cardiologist today to go over my echocardiogram and MUGA heart scan results. Since my sister is a nurse, I asked her for a copy of the reports to show her directly. Because I knew that once I left the office, I wouldn't remember all the technical terms she mentioned to me. The bottom line was that the heart does show some weakness due to the chemo drug I had for breast cancer. The numbers are lower but I was reassured that it's not to the point that I need to be worried about it. She explained that since I stopped the chemo a few months ago, that the heart could remain as is or even get stronger as time goes by. She has recommended another MUGA scan in six months. She said that swollen ankles, bloated belly, shortness of breath are things to look for. I laughed when weight gain was mentioned. Heck, that's me! But I've read and she agreed that having cancer can cause the weight gain. When I see my oncologist this month for my first follow-up appt., I'm going to inquire on when I can stop taking effexor for the night sweats. I am a bit concerned since I've been reading about bad side effects when you stop this medication. This med can also cause weight gain. I seem to be on the diet: see food and eat it! And I definitely didn't like her scale.. Lots happening in our lives right now. Somehow I've got to get motivated and walk.

Cancer

Today's news:

MIAMI, Florida (AP) -- Colombian-American singer Soraya, who won a Latin Grammy for best female album in 2004 and worked to educate Hispanic women about breast cancer, died Wednesday after battling the disease. She was 37.

She died in a Miami hospital, said Lorena Oriani, a spokeswoman for her record label, EMI Latin.

-----------------------

We've got to come up with something to stop cancer from touching so many lives. Truly another tragedy.

Back to work

Barry returned to work today since his second chemo treatment. Am sure he'll be tired later. House already seems so quiet without him.

Nothing new here. Which actually is good news! Tim did buy a new piccolo. Is planning on playing that for marching band which includes all the football games, rather than the flute. I can't believe how small the instrument is. Very cute.

Happy Birthday, Eileen!

I rode my scooter to work today. A bit chilly in the morning, 39 degrees. Had some hot chocolate when I got there. But I knew the afternoon ride would be warmer. It's nice being able to save some pennies with gas being so high. Last year I only rode it once or twice. I do enjoy it.

Weekend is over

Where did the weekend go? It seems that time itself just flies by too fast. This weekend Tim and I did lawn duty, and he actually showed me how to use weedwacker. I now have a new outlook on that job. Harder than I thought it would be. But the end result was a nice looking yard. Plus doing yard work makes me work up a nice sweat. Love being outdoors. Also washed my truck.

This afternoon Tim had another away soccer game. And they lost. I know that my father always asks for that. Had thought of staying home and just sending Tim there, but felt a bit guilty as I've always gone to see him play. I also enjoy talking to our friends while the game is on. A nice time to socialize. By the time the game was done it was a bit cool. It was a late afternoon/early evening game.

Tim's confirmation

Tim was confirmed this evening by Bishop Bradley. It was such a beautiful ceremony. His sponsor is a good friend of ours Tom. There were 81 boys and girls being confirmed. I was so proud of him. I only wish that he had the feeling as I did when I became Catholic as an adult 5 years ago. I was so pleased that Barry was able to see this ceremony, if only due to him recently undergoing chemo. Tim had a chance to kiss the Bishop's ring but chose not to! All the kids looked so nice dressed up. And as you can see, I was quick to download a couple of pictures for everyone to enjoy. It just seems like yesterday that he made his first communion.

It was a perfect ceremony. Tim looked great, and we're not that bad either!

  

This is a picture of Tim and his sponsor Tom, along with Bishop Bradley.

  

MUGA scan today

This afternoon I went for a MUGA heart scan. Took about 2 hours. Nothing to it. And they did tell me that my cardiologist (who ordered it) would be the one to read it today. So that is good news. Should have results within a day or two.

Tomorrow is Tim's confirmation. Have to go directly to church after I get home from work. An extra special treat is that Barry will be able to come. This was not going to be since he would have been working. It just seems like yesterday that he made his first communion. Where does the time go?

A nice weekend

Looking back it was a pretty nice weekend. Yesterday Tim and I did yark work. It looks great. I would rather do outside work than house work! And with the high price of gas, $3.00 gallon, I took my scooter out a couple of times to do store errands. It was a nice sunny weekend for a change. Tim was a referee for a soccer game.

Saturday afternoon I served as eucharistic minister for the first time at my church. I was "captain" and was not nervous for a bit. I think it's because God was on my side. It felt so good giving to the church. I think I'm doing as well as I am because of my faith.

Today Tim had a soccer game. It was so sunny that he ended up with a nice sun burn. I do enjoy going to see him play, but have to admit I enjoy the social aspect even more. It's a chance to talk with good friends.

I was able to even take a nap this afternoon. Tim went to his confirmation rehearsal this evening. He makes his confirmation this Thursday. Where does the time go? A friend of ours is going to be his sponsor. He's been a good friend to us. Wish they had allowed parents to be one, but that's not allowed. Would have asked his Godmother or Godfather, but both live out of state. And with the ceremony on a weekday that wouldn't have been convenient.

As for Barry, he's been feeling what I think are the aches of neulasta. I had him stay home from game today so he could rest. More important than going to a game. He never complains, just keeps on going. Even cooked dinner on the grill yesterday for us.

A nice weekend

Looking back it was a pretty nice weekend. Yesterday Tim and I did yark work. It looks great. I would rather do outside work than house work! And with the high price of gas, $3.00 gallon, I took my scooter out a couple of times to do store errands. It was a nice sunny weekend for a change. Tim was a referee for a soccer game.

Saturday afternoon I served as eucharistic minister for the first time at my church. I was "captain" and was not nervous for a bit. I think it's because God was on my side. It felt so good giving to the church. I think I'm doing as well as I am because of my faith.

Today Tim had a soccer game. It was so sunny that he ended up with a nice sun burn. I do enjoy going to see him play, but have to admit I enjoy the social aspect even more. It's a chance to talk with good friends.

I was able to even take a nap this afternoon. Tim went to his confirmation rehearsal this evening. He makes his confirmation this Thursday. Where does the time go? A friend of ours is going to be his sponsor. He's been a good friend to us. Wish they had allowed parents to be one, but that's not allowed. Would have asked his Godmother or Godfather, but both live out of state. And with the ceremony on a weekday that wouldn't have been convenient.

As for Barry, he's been feeling what I think are the aches of neulasta. I had him stay home from game today so he could rest. More important than going to a game. He never complains, just keeps on going. Even cooked dinner on the grill yesterday for us.

One of Tim's favorite things at Disney: fireworks!

  

MUGA scan for Jane

I was told by my primary doctor that my echocardiogram results indicate a need for further testing, done via MUGA scan. This will be done next Wednesday. It's a known fact that adriamycin, the chemo drug that I was on last year (and Barry is presently on) can cause damage to your heart. This test has been scheduled by a new cardiologist I've been told to see. It's a non invasive test with excellent results, better than echocardiogram. And since I had one of those done before chemo, I'm looking forward to actually seeing what damage if any there is with my heart.

Barry continues to do well. I don't even think he napped at all today. As usual his face is bright red/flushed from steroid. Always happens the first few days. He had blood work and neulasta shot today. Neulasta is the $5,200 shot in the arm! Good stuff. Don't know how the medical field can price these items so high.

Rather than cooking, we went out to dinner. Now we all have leftovers. So much food.

Barry comes home

I just looked back at my blog from 8 weeks ago when Barry had his first treatment in Pittsburgh. Most of the things remained the same today: traffic into the city, able to walk to truck and good ole naps in the afternoon. He's doing very well considering what he is going through. He's enjoying his own couch and bed, taking it easy.

I just remembered that I never wrote of Tim's trip to Disney. Unfortunately, it rained on their parade. But they still had fun. I asked Tim what the best part of the trip was, and his answer was the fireworks at night. One night he stayed at the park until it closed at midnight just because he was able to do so. I sent him with a disposable camera and it never left his bag! He did take a few pictures using his cell phone camera that I was able to see. If anyone sends me a good picture of him, I will certainly post it. It was very hot when he was there.

#2 Chemoembolization

Tim arrived home last night at 10:30 p.m. after a 23 hr. bus trip. He'll be staying home today since he's not feeling himself.

Left at 4:30 a.m. this morning to go to Pittsburgh for Barry's second chemoembolization procedure. We were told to be at the hospital at 6 a.m.

It was a very long wait for the procedure. We got there at 6 a.m. and the actual chemo treatment didn't start until 1 p.m. From 6 a.m. until 11 a.m. we were in one unit with the IV's connected, and then moved to the radiation/m.r.i. department for another two hours. This delay did not happen last cycle, and hopefully won't happen again. The good thing was Barry napped a lot during this time.

As soon as he was taken for the procedure, I went to the cafeteria for lunch and to get a sandwich to go for Barry in the evening. When I found out the room Barry was going to be placed in, I went there and waited for him. He was brought there at about 4 p.m. From the time he arrived and until the time I left at about 7:30 p.m., he never asked for a painkiller like last cycle. He slept most of the time which to me is a blessing. Once again, a patient nearby was told by their doctor that they have cancer. There's just too much of this disease out there.

Barry's doctor, Dr. G. stopped by before I left. As I've previously posted, he has read my blog. He may not be posting any comments, but he is a reader. Actually made a comment to me about how I write so much in my blog, not leaving out anything. Said I would probably post which parking garage I was parked in. Well, he's wrong about that! I'm not going to tell you. He agreed that Barry did wonderful today. And is pleased with his chemo treatment today.

As I drove home from the hospital so many things went through my head. And they were good things today. So pleased that Barry did so well today. As Beckster has said, he's such an ox. A very strong person. In all that time we waited, he never complained.

And above all, I know Who is to thank.

Turkey talk

I wish you could hear what I'm listening to right now. There are literally 2 turkeys outside my window gobblin' away. I talk to them and tell them how beautiful they sound, and they gobble right back to me with their feathers out full. They are gorgeous. Have never heard such talking. They better beware, turkey season starts tomorrow for young hunters only. The adults start later.

On the road to Disney

I brought Tim to the school at 6 AM. The bueses should be arriving at Disney tomorrow at about 7 AM.

After I got home from work today, I decided to cut the lawn for the first time this year. And of all times, it was when Tim made his first call to me. Unfortunately, I missed his call. He had made it to S. Carolina.

I did call Jody who is a chaperone on the trip. They had stopped for a bite to eat at about 8:30 p.m. She said that the kids were talkative for about the first 1/2 hr. and then the bus became quiet. A lot of tired kids. The trip has been good and she said the time has actually gone by at a good speed. She told me that Tim and his friend are sitting in the last row on the bus, directly beside the bathroom. One plus she said was that they have extra leg room. Knowing Tim, I'm sure he doesn't mind the location of the seats.

Well, it's 10 p.m. and he hasn't called me. Had hoped that he would but know he's in good hands.

Band A Rama concert

This afternoon I went for an echocardiogram of my heart since my EKG last week was abnormal. Not sure when I will get the results. Actually I can't wait to see the results, as compared to a year ago before I started chemo and radiation. Have heard that the chemo I took can do some damage to your heart. Heck, what else is new...

Tonight I was able to go to Tim's band concert. Eileen, this is the one you went with me last year. Remember trumpet girl? Didn't see her tonight.. Of course, the kids played so well. They will be leaving very early in the morning for the bus trip to Disney. Wish I could stow away in the luggage and go. But as I've said, there will be other trips to go on.

Kind thoughts

I returned to work today after being off since last Thursday. So many people stopped by my desk to ask how my surgery went and how Barry was doing. We truly have a lot of people on our side.

Took Tim for haircut after I got my nails done. He's leaving early Thursday a.m. for a bus trip to Disney with the band. His school is marching at Disney this Saturday. I'll truly miss him but I know he's in good hands. Just wasn't the time for me to chaperone. Will save that for another class trip. Hopefully he'll take a few pictures for me. I'm sending him with a disposable camera. Do you think he'll take any pics? I'm optomistic that he will.

CT Scan

This morning I went with Barry for his first CT scan since the chemoemolization procedure that was done 7 weeks ago. This was done in Pittsburgh. Afterwards we met with Dr. G. who is Barry's doctor at that hospital. Even though the CT scan findings had not been officially written up, Dr. G. told him that by site the tumor appears to be the same size. And we have to be thankful that it doesn't appear to have grown. The actual findings of the CT scan will be sent to both Dr. G's.
So the plan for next week is to once again to treat the same tumor. This will be done next Tuesday.

Update from Dr. G: CT scan showed no new lesions/no change in size.

Happy Easter

After church this a.m., I cooked the "boys" breakfast. And for lunch we had a spiral ham. And unlike last year's ham, it was not frozen. (inside joke)

At Tim's suggestion I took my scooter out for a ride. It was the first time this year that I've ridden it. And with gas at almost $3 gallon I think it will be used a lot this year. It felt good to be on the bike. As usual, Tim had a good idea.

Tomorrow is Barry's appt. with his doctor in Pittsburgh. First he will be having a CT scan. Hard to believe it's been 7 weeks since his first chemoembolization procedure. I'm not praying for a miracle, just a reduction in the size of the one tumor they treated. That's all I need at this time and the focus of my attention.

Daffodils are a sure sign of spring.

  

The Easter lilly is one of my favorite plants. My Christmas cactus is also in bloom. That was the case last year also.

  

I just wanted to wish you a Happy Easter.

  

Yard work

Today was one of the top 10 days weatherwise. The sky was so perfect, even the stars are all out tonight. Can't beat it. Just gorgeous weather.

We spread mulch again in the garden and around the house today. Not even cancer or breast surgery can stop this family in doing good old fashioned yard work. I just love being outside doing gardening. Sure does beat housework, and Barry can attest to that for me. The yard looks great. We're actually a few weeks ahead of our normal mulch spreading. Took nice nap after all the good work.

We went out to dinner with 13 friends and family. Again, I just love this community. Full of friendship and just nice people.

Off to get cookies out of oven. Happy Easter!

Resting up

Took phone off the hook in the morning so I could rest without any phone calls. Ended up getting out of bed at 10:30 a.m. Slept pretty good actually.
Spent today with Barry and Tim which was nice. I've felt pretty good with this surgery. I had more discomfort with biopsy done a few weeks ago. Perhaps I'm just getting tougher!

Surgery today

We got to hospital at 7 a.m. I had the breast localization procedure at about 8:30 a.m. This is when they sat me in chair and did mammogram slides after inserting a needle with wire into left breast. A bit uncomfortable but that's life. And they continued to take slides to have the wire mark off the area where the clip had been inserted during the biopsy a couple of weeks ago. This is done since the area of cells they want to remove would not be noticeable by naked eye. By the last slide my body got clammy and the nurse noticed that. She knew it was time for me to lie down before passing out. Could not wait to lie down and feel the wet cold cloth on my neck. My blood pressure certainly wasn't as it was a short while before.
Surgery was delayed from 10 a.m. until 11:30 a.m. due to doctor being late. It took about 30 minutes. The last thing I remembered was mask going on my nose and then I was out. Then in recovery room.
I got back to my room at about 1 p.m. and was able to watch my soap opera. We left the hospital at about 2:30 p.m. On a scale of 1-10, my pain was about 2 or 3. Felt pretty good. Similar to first surgery I had last year. Sure does beat having a drain put inside. Before leaving they did give me a percocet. Once I got home and had a slice of pizza, I went to bed and slept for 3 hrs.
Got up and we went out to a late dinner. Again, I continue to feel good and am thankful for that.
Thanks to all for your continued prayers for me and my family.

I am off tomorrow to rest and to take it easy.

Update

Yesterday afternoon Barry called me at work with message to contact my primary doctor about EKG results. Needless to say, I called the office immediately. The office manager would only tell me that the doctor needed to see me in person to discuss the EKG abnormality. And I was told he was not able to see me yesterday. Today was ruled out since I had an all day work related seminar. The earliest I could see anyone would be Wednesday, and that would be with the physician's assistant. I asked to speak directly to the doctor and was able to do so. He would not go into details of the findings, but only said that I would need to be seen in order to get clearance for upcoming surgery. At my persistance, I asked if I could just wait in his office until he was able to see me at end of day. He agreed and told me to come right there. I left my job at about 2:30 p.m. yesterday in tears. What else could go wrong were my thoughts?

After only about an hour, I was able to see my doctor. He basically did a physical on me, asked me if I had been experiencing shortness of breath or chest pains. And I told him no to these questions. The EKG does show some abnormality, but considering my upcoming surgery is low risk and my physical showed nothing negative he signed the release for the surgery. He has scheduled an echocardiogram for me next week. I had one of those tests right before chemo since chemotherapy drugs can damage your heart. I am very interested in finding out the results of that upcoming test. I have spoken with my sister and she had similar findings with an EKG last year and did follow up stress test. For now, I'm focused on my surgery this Thursday.

Today I was able to attend an all day seminar which was so enjoyable and informative. The guest speaker was Frank Abagnale who was portrayed in the movie Catch me if you can. Quite an interesting speaker.

Tomorrow I work and then I'm off Thursday and Friday. And on the 17th Barry and I will be going to Pittsburgh for his CT scan and follow up with specialist at hospital. A busy few days.

We are Survivors

  

Barry and I walked the survivor's lap yesterday at the Relay for Life. A cool brisk day.

  

Proud to walk in the Relay for Life

At 10:30 a.m. it is a sunny 39 degree day. At least it's not raining.

Heading to Relay for Life shortly. Looking forward to it.

Was very pleased to have Barry walk with me at the event today. And to have Tim walk the second lap with us as a caregiver. Very honored indeed. It was a cool but sunny day. I was able to once again walk with other people who have been touched by this terrible disease. A disease that touch can male and female, young and old.

In regards to not everyone wanting to be in the limelight, I agree with that statement. I consider myself one of those people. Anyone who truly knows me can attest to that. I have never felt a need or desire to be a focus of attention or public interest. I've been dealt an obstacle in our lives and I don't intend on burying my head in the sand, but rather to hold my head high and to be a person of strength. If I can touch just one person as others have touched me on my journey, than that is a wonderful testimonial to my life. And touching a person can be done just by having someone read my small blog.

Tim and I went back in the evening to see all the luminaries lit. Truly an emotional event to see. As the names are read, honored or in memory of, the track was filled with people walking in silence. It's just a shame that the list of "in memory of" is
so long.

Relay for Life is tomorrow...

Am looking forward to walking once again at the college's Relay for Life walk tomorrow. Last year I walked after just hearing the word cancer a month prior.

Tim will also be walking with his Latin club like he did last year. I'm so proud of him. Today he was interviewed by the college's radio station (which will probably be aired over the sound system tomorrow at the Relay) at the suggestion of his Latin teacher. She knows what we've been going through and thought he would be the perfect person to be interviewed. He also raised a lot of money with the help of our friends and family members. I got a beautiful email from his teacher this afternoon.

"His commitment to this was amazing. I was really impressed. You have quite a son, but then you already knew this!"

She will also be walking at noon tomorrow with the survivors. I'm looking forward to joining her and all the other angels that will be there. I hope that Barry will also join me. But I do understand that each person is different and I'm not going to push.

By the way, Tim was asked if it was difficult to raise the money. His response: "not really. We have a lot of friends and family who have supported us."

I told you he was the best! Thanks to all of you who gave generously to this cause.
And of course, you know pictures will follow..

Bye Bye Birdie

Tim and I went to see High School performance of Bye Bye Birdie tonight. It was the first time I've ever been to a school performance. You know the actors are good when you truly believe they are who they are playing. I truly enjoyed the play, especially since it was a musical. And my good buddy Megan (who always is there with a hug for me) was wonderful playing the part of a s....

I can't wait to see another play.

Thought provoking

There is a local establishment in the town where I work which always displays good phrases. This is the current one which got my attention today:

To plant a garden is to believe in tomorrow.

A very true statement.

I continue to love this town...

Tim had his first outdoor soccer game today. We took his buddy with us. I was so happy when I was asked to drive him. For once I could help out as many have helped me out. It's so nice to know that you have friends. It was great seeing all my soccer friends at the game. A very nice group of friends. As much as I whine about the season, it is enjoyable being part of such a nice group.

After the game (which they lost 2-1) we had to get back briefly on a toll road. This particular entrance has no person working the booth, just the machine to drop the coins in. The vehicle ahead of us was stopped at the booth. It happened to be a boy on the soccer team. Could tell he was looking for change. So I had Tim's buddy get out of truck and give him some coin. He ended up putting about 40 pennies into the machine! Was quite funny to be part of.

After bringing Michael home, Tim and I went to gas station to get Subway. Only in a small town would you see a man pull up to the pumps driving a John Deere tractor!

These are just a couple of reasons why I love this town..

Barry Barry Barry Barry Barry Barry Barry

OK. Let me see. Barry's taking each day as it comes. Continues have discomfort on the side where the tumor(s) are. But is thinking positive that this is the chemo doing it's thing. He hasn't been painfree since this first direct chemo procedure done on 2/28. 7 weeks from that date he will have CT scan, which he has actually asked me if I was going to go with him. Now I definitely will. And then the following week is the second of these chemo treatments. He did some outside yard trimming yesterday which worked up a good sweat. The yard is looking pretty good. Not that it matters since we are in the process of finally getting sewers in our neighborhood. They are slowly creeping up to our area. And then our front and side yards will be destroyed. But as we know, grass can be planted. If anything, once they are done we want to make the front yard more level. This way we would be able to drive the mower to cut it rather than Barry having to do it by hand.

Barry, Tim and I went out to Mexican food for lunch. And shortly I'm heading out to dinner with my friend the Beckster. Barry will be staying home to supervise Tim and his classmates while they prepare for an English presentation.

Time to get ready. I hope Guess Who is happy now that I've talked about Barry.

P.S.
Back from dinner with my girl friend. And do you realize it took me 50 years to actually go out to dinner with a girl friend. The whole time I don't think our mouths shut once! Felt good to be able to chat with a friend. THANKS, Beckster.
Our next outing will be with hubbies and kids.

Surgery scheduled

I met with the surgeon today and will have my operation on April 13th. This will be to remove the area that contains some potentially cancerous cells in my other breast. The week before I will have pre-op blood and EKG done.

Turkeys galore...

  

The turkeys have come back...Gobble Gobble

  

My truck sits in my garage with the exact mileage of 100,000 miles....

  

100,000 miles!!

It's the little things in life that can get you excited. My truck rolled over 100,000 miles tonight. In fact, Tim and I took the long way home from soccer just to have that happen. And as I pulled into the driveway it happened! We were joking that it would be so cool if that were to happen. I had to run into the house and get the camera. As Barry recently said to me, I tell it all in my blog....

Happy Birthday, truck... May I get 100,000 more miles out of you.

A restful weekend

This weekend has been very restful for me. Yesterday I volunteered for about an hour at the school sorting out a fundraiser product. Tim and I did some raking of the flower beds before noon. And then the snow flurries came for the majority of the day. Temps only in the 30s. Not the typical spring day. I took advantage of this cold weather and napped for about 2 hours. Mmmm, I love my naps. In the evening we ate shopping and out to dinner.

After mass today I attended a eucharstic minister meeting. It was a gathering of 4 new ministers (I was one of them) and the existing ministers. Only took a short while. While on Long Island I had done this at the church and just recently I had thought of doing it once again. I'm looking forward to this opportunity. Have to admit that I was not able to take a nap today. No time to.

Hard to believe that Monday is upon us again. This weekend certainly did go by fast.

Minor complication

I was awaken early this morning but the feel of something wet on my pajama top. Went to the bathroom and saw that it was blood coming from the breast that had the biopsies about 3 weeks ago. Cleaned up and put bandaid on it. Then went back for my last hour of sleep.

I went to work and made a couple of phone calls to have it checked out. I knew I needed it to be looked at when I took a peek under the bandaid and it continued to bleed.

End result: Did see the radiologist who did the biopsies and she told me that it was a hematoma, collection of blood. I had noticed the bump there but had nothing to compare it to. She did drain the blood by pressing on it. Am glad I took care of that. She taped me back up. Said it could happen again but now I know what to expect.

Am so thankful for Dr. G (my oncologist) who I called. He contacted the radiologist as I did not know how to contact her. I was able to go directly to the hospital where she met me immediately. Upon leaving she gave me her direct telephone number.

Not sure how this will play out on Tuesday. This is my next appt. with surgeon. He originally wanted the area healed a bit before surgery. Oh well.....at least I'm in no rush.

PS. Yes, I will be doing my first Relay for Life walk next month. Am hoping that Barry will join me in the survivors' walk. It's a powerful and moving event.

Go away you raccons...

We enjoyed seeing and feeding the turkeys in our back yard, but have stopped for awhile. It seems that as soon as it got dark we were being visited by two raccoons. And we don't need those nasty critters hanging around the house and under the deck. Right after it got dark, they would be in the back yard and even climbing into the bird feeder. So for awhile, the birds and turkeys are not being fed by us. So far it is working. Have not seen the 'coons last night or tonight. I sure do miss seeing the turkeys.

Congrats to Mel Jr

I'm still here, just have nothing much to report these past couple of days. Just wanted you to know where I have been. Guess no news is good news.

Just got good news at 10:30 p.m. Our friend Mel Jr. has been signed to play with Buffalo Bills! Congratulations!!

Check out buffalobills.com

Fowler Signs

The Bills continue to be active players in free agency. On Tuesday, Buffalo officially signed quarterback Craig Nall and offensive lineman Melvin Fowler. In addition, running back Maurice Morris and defensive tackle Monsanto Pope were in town to meet with GM Marv Levy and Head Coach Dick Jauron. Morris has been the back-up to Shaun Alexander in Seattle while Pope started 21 games in four years for the Broncos.

Sundays are a day of rest

And this proved to be the case for both Tim and I.

As soon as Barry went back to work today, Tim and I took what turned out to be a 2 1/2 hr. nap (Dad would disagree and say that was NO nap!) Tim is becoming like me... I've always said, "I love my weekend naps."

Barry's gone back to work today. Am sure he'll feel the effects of this after the shift is over. But I do think being with others and having other things to think about will be good for him.

Friends..

Do you know what the definition of a friend or friendship is? Let me quickly explain it to you.

A friend spends hours organizing and getting together other couples to go out to dinner with us. And it is these other friends who join us in going out to dinner. Hard to explain in words what has happened this past couple of days. Becky suggested we needed to go out to dinner, and she spent many phone calls (back and forth) with our other frinds organizing this evening. We are now headed out to dinner with what started as 2 families and has nicely grown to 4 families. Now this is friendship! Thanks to everyone and of course the Beckster....

9:30 p.m.
Home from a great gathering of friends. The service lacked speed, but the food and friendship was so nice. I think we were a group of 16. That speaks a lot of how many friends we have here. Once again, thank you.

Happy St. Patricks Day

At work today there was a dessert sale for Relay for Life events. And boy, there was so much good stuff to buy. Brought home some cupcakes for the boys (wink, I'll probably eat them all!)

We went out to dinner to Red Lobster. Today was just a day of good food. And we're also going out to dinner tomorrow with our friends. Looking forward to that. Will be first time in a long time that Barry's been out with our friends. Think it was back in the fall.

That's it for now.

PS. Special thanks to a new friend, Brittany on posting a comment. If you ever want me to sum up my past year I would be happy to. Every day is a blessing and I'm quite thankful for the support we have. This blog is good therapy for me.

St. Patty's day dinner.

When I walked in the house tonight from work, Barry had dinner all cooked for us. What a treat. He had cooked corned beef in the pressure cooker. And served it with the following recipe: mashed potato, mixed in 1/2 head of cooked cabbage, stick of butter and sour cream, (oh yes, the leftover pulp of carrots from his healthy carrot drink he made was also mixed in). Hard to describe this Irish recipe, but boy was it delicious.
It was our early St. Patty's day dinner. Made better because I didn't have to cook it.

A special thank you for my family and friends who have sent me money towards next month's American Cancer Society Relay for Life walk that Tim will be walking in. I do appreciate your kindness.

Happy Anniversary to Me.

One year survivor and still counting.

Attitude has so much to do with living. Being strong from and for others also are key elemenets of this thing called living. Getting strength from people who've been where I'm going, and being strong so you can also be an example for others. Jody put it just fine.

THANKS.

Both of us saw doctors today. I met with surgeon and will go back in 2 weeks to see him again. The breast is too bruised from the recent biopsies, and needs to be healed before he does surgery. Told me that I will be having a mammogram the day of the surgery, radioligist will insert some kind of wire into area and then off to operating room for me. Won't be seeing my buddy Chris as this will be done at hospital.

Barry will be returning to work next week. The discomfort is still there but he never complains. Only tells me how it is when I ask him how he's feeling. Perhaps being back to the work environment will benefit him. Before you know it, it will be time for another round of chemo..

Tomorrow is my one year anniversary since being diagnosed with cancer. My how time flies..

Lightning in area so not bloggin' much tonight. 60 degrees outside. Cold temps coming.

Barry had checkup in a.m. and I have surgeon appt. p.m.

Adios as my sister would say..

Barry's feeling a bit better today.

After I took a nice 2 hr. nap today (yes, Dad- 2 hrs.) I did a little raking and picked up sticks in the yard. Temps were low 70.s and I couldn't resist. Actually worked up a sweat. Didn't even need a jacket.

Just took roaster out of oven. That'll be our dinner. Wish it was fried shrimp from Golden Boy on the Cape, but that can't be...

Email from a Survivor

This is an email I got today from a survivor I met at a Relay for Life walk last year. And we've communicated via email through the past months. This is what surviving is all about:

***************
I've been reading your blog all along since we met last June.
I just wanted to let you know in Dec. '05 I was once again diagnosed with cancer. I went back to Pittsburg for my treatments. I have stage 4 cancer. I'm taking one day at a time. I still go to work everyday. I understand why Barry does it. We do what we have to.
I will be in a Relay for Life somewhere this year. Just depends when and were they are and how I'm feeling. Once again I say to everyone...Life is good!


*****************

I know she wouldn't mind me posting this. It's all about taking one day at a time, and being thankful for that day! Again, you need a good support system to help you with the bumpy ride.

I have an appt. on Tuesday p.m. with my surgeon. Have already picked up medical records from hospital.

Doing my taxes tonight so not much blog....

Flowers delivered

A highlight of my day was when I was told that I had something to pick up at the main desk. And that usually means flowers. When I saw the beautful flowers I couldn't imagine who they were from. They were in a very nice glass vase, a mixture of nice spring colors. They were from a "bosom buddy" of mine, a fellow breast cancer survivor Aileen. Let me repeat myself, I've met so many wonderful people this past year! Thanks, Aileen.

Well, my doctor has left two more messages for my surgeon. No return call though. Think perhaps I'll have him look into a surgeon at the hospital he is affiliated with. I don't like waiting around.

That's it for today. As they say, a good day.

26 years of marriage /test results are in!

Last year we went to Phoenix and saw the St. Laurents. What a nice way to celebrate 25 years. This year is a bit different but both of us are still here. So as they say, "it's a good day."

I'm heading to work after a good night's sleep. Am sure Dr. G. will be calling me with test results. I sure do hope I passed with flying colors.. As always, I carry my hope charm with me since Linda gave it to me a year ago.

I finally got the call from Dr. G. in the afternoon. He had been doing rounds at the hospital all day. Here's the scoop:

BENIGN-liquid that was drained from cyst
BENIGN-tissue samples from 2 suspicious areas

but the 2 above areas show "atypical ductal hyperplasia", short name is ADH. Benign but could be pre-cancerous stage. About the size of pinheads. He has recommended surgery to remove the areas in question. This is due to my previous bout with cancer. He has already left message for my surgeon to call me. And if you guys remember from last year, the anesthesiologist Chris was really a cutie! Hope he still works for Dr. H. I was ready to accept any diagnosis so am quite pleased with this good news. No need to wait around, remove what could be bad.

Definition I found online:

****Atypical Ductal Hyperplasia (ADH)
It is important to understand that Atypical Ductal Hyperplasia (ADH) is not cancer. ADH means that the cells lining the milk ducts of the breast are growing abnormally.

ADH can only be diagnosed by examining a sample of breast tissue under a microscope. This small sample of tissue is removed with a hollow needle (called core needle biopsy) or by a small operation.

The area in the breast is usually seen on breast x-rays (mammograms) as a cluster of small deposits or spots of calcium salts, known as calcifications.

In most women ADH is harmless and will not cause any further problems. However, for some women ADH can mean there is a higher than average risk of developing breast cancer in the same breast in future.

*****************************

After taking Tim to his weekly flute lesson, we went out to dinner to a local brewery to celebrate our anniversary. We had never been there and it was very good.

Barry's doing pretty good. Taking it easy. Does try to sleep but has trouble when in the laying down position. His next appt. is on Tuesday, about when his hair will be falling out. I've already once again volunteered to shave it for him.

No results

Last night I didn't sleep very well. Kept waking up. At about 1 a.m. I did take another percocet for the pain. Since I did not work today, I let Tim take shower first. Then I got in shower and took the dressing off of my breast. I noticed fresh blood in the dressing. I didn't even get the conditioner out of my hair and I felt as if I was going to faint. I think the combination of going into a steamed room and seeing the blood did it to me. I immediately went and crashed on my bed. I had planned on going to see Dr. G. with Barry for his blood work and check up. Told Barry I was going to stay home. But he encouraged me to go with him, a chance to show Dr. G. the results of yesterday's biopsy. I did get up and dressed. Barry had his weekly blood work and all the tests were perfect! Another appointment has been made for next week. Barry continues to stay out of work, the first time since being diagnosed.

My breast is pretty much bruised today. But that was to be expected from all the probing done yesterday. You'll just have to imagine the colors, I'm not going to post on my blog!

Took a couple of catnaps during the day which felt good.

Had expected to hear the biopsy results from Dr. G. today but he never called. Have to think that no news is good news.

Will be returning back to work tomorrow. I want to thank Cara, my nurse from the hospital for showing interest in reading about our lives. You see, that is why I do this: to share with others what we are going through. It's my form of therapy. And to think it all began when Becky and Marian gave me a diary last year after one of my surgeries. But writing down my thoughts with pen and paper was tiring, typing online is a breeze. So I guess I have to thank my 2 friends for this blog idea.

UPDATE: At about 8 p.m. tonight, while I was at soccer game with Tim, Dr. G. called Barry and said that he had not heard any news on my biopsy. He was actually still at his office. Said he would check in with hospital in morning. Just wanted to make sure that I knew no results were given to him.

Jane's two biopsies

First biopsy: 10:30 a.m.
Second one is at 1 p.m.


I went to work a 1/2 hr. early and left at 10 a.m. for my first biopsy. The first biopsy was done using sonogram for guiding the needle, and the radiologist Dr. M. was able to aspirate the cyst. It appears to be just cystic tissue but will be analyzed and results done within 4 or 5 days. I have had this test in the past so knew what to expect. And like the last one I had, the tissue was hard to go through for the needle to drain it. Had to be jammed a bit. Just a little uncomfortable.

There was about 1 hr. time in between the two appointments. So I went to the cafeteria to eat some lunch.

The second biopsy, a stereotactic biopsy, began by having a couple more mammogram pictures by Linda. I was then brought to the room where the test is given. You lay on your stomach on a basically flat table, with an opening for your breast. The table is raised and the medical staff/radioligist are beneath it to the side. My breast was compressed as if a mammogram was being performed. Dr. M. did the incision for the larger needle to be used, and then the other radiologist Dr. L. did the procedure. Of course they constantly numb the area as I react with discomfort. But never did I complain. To me it was important to get as much sample tissue of the two areas in question. I had thought there was only one questionable area, but there was another by it's side. This test is done by a computer with the specific readings or location of area programmed into it. It pinpoints where the needle should go, and snips the sample tissues. Unlike the first biopsy, the samples are tissues and not liquid. This is why this test was done. I will know the results within 24 hours. They will call Dr. G. my oncologist with them. I did feel pinching feeling but heck, pain is good.

After the biopsy, Cara came in to once again go over the discharge instructions and to see if I had any questions. She is one of the many nurses who I had contact with these past 2 visits. More nice people entering my life in a stressful time. I got to talking to her about my life and Barry's life. She seemed honestly interested and asked if I would ever be willing to talk to someone else if they had questions about these tests, from a personal level. I explained my online journal and how I do like to touch others with my/our experience. I have since sent her my blog address.

I left the hospital at 3 p.m., a long day for me. I couldn't wait to get home. I treated myself to a Dairy Queen cone even. I immediately called my parents as I left the hospital to tell them the tests were done. I was surely feeling the pain in the breast and took tylenol. Made a couple phone calls to update work and family. I will not be working tomorrow as I am to rest for 24 hrs. As I lay down in bed, the pain was such that percocet came to my mind. I took one of those pills I had from prior surgery and quickly felt relief. I slept for a couple of hours.

As I was driving home, I came upon Tim and his friend Tess. Gave them a ride home. I told Tess that all the nurses and doctors adore her dad at the hospital. She laughed.

When Tim got out of the car, he asked why I had not told him directly about the biopsies today. He had heard me talk on the phone with Becky the night I heard the need for them. I could only say I didn't want to upset him with everything else going on in our lives. But I now that he is old enough and I will not keep things like this from him again. I truly am thankful for such a mature kid.

Well, the percocet is still making me feel pretty good. There was a lot of activity today on my poor little boob!

Thanks to all for your continued thoughts and good vibes. And a special thank you to the medical staff who touched my life today. Angels do walk among us.

At about noon today, the phone rang for Barry. Guess who? It was his oncologist Dr. G. calling to see how he was doing. I thought that was pretty nice of him. Barry goes back to him on Tuesday for additional blood work. All the tests he had on Friday were perfect, which was the day he felt so sick on. So that was good news.

He's been eating well and resting throughout the day. I can tell he's feeling a bit better because he can toss in an insult every so often! That's my Barry. Still not up to do any marathon yet.

Well, since it's Sunday the day of rest, I think it's time for a little siesta for myself. Tim's doing homework, Barry's resting. And for 2 hrs. this evening Tim and I have to attend a confirmation meeting at the church. So until later....zzzzzzzzzz

I did enjoy my nap. Tim and I went to the meeting as planned.

In the morning I will be having the first of two biopsies. I'll go to work for a couple of hours, and depending how I feel after the biopsies I may or may not return to work. And you know, I'm honestly not scared because I know I can handle anything now. I've got more strength now than ever before.

PS. Mary Lou, I got the cross that you gave me blessed by Father Phil today. Again thanks!

Time to heal

Barry has spent today mostly in bed. Am glad that he has started to eat today. Ate all meals with us, including my famous "chicken shit" dish. I was actually pleased to be able to talk to his oncologist this a.m. as I left the driveway. He was coming out of his street and stopped to chat with me. Assured me that the heavy sweating that Barry is doing, along with the many internal aches he is feeling are good signs. Signs that the chemo drug is killing the cancer cells, and then something happening with the good cells. And he said that to his knowledge, there is more success in this treatment when one has these side effects. Barry has not had any fever. Just wakes up in pool of sweat. But as we were told, it will be about a week of sickness. He continues to be a tough guy going through this.

Tim stayed put most of the day until the afternoon. He hooked up with a friend to play raquetball for a couple of hours. Am glad he got out of the house. At one time today, all 3 of us were napping! And now he's been invited to a sleepover at another friend's house. So all in all, he's had a pretty good day.

It's my 50th BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!

My job gave me a great celebration today. Desk decorated, balloons, pizza, candy and cheesecake. They also made signs all around the building with my picture on it telling people how old I was and to say hi to me. Very nice day.

I called the hospital this a.m. and have moved my biopsies up to be this coming Monday. I don't think I could have lasted 2 weeks. So that made my day.

Barry's having the worst day since being diagnosed today. Didn't sleep at all last night due to aches. And today he's in a lot of discomfort. Sweating and just feeling shitty. Did see his dr. this morning. Had not expected to, but was given the neulasta shot which we had been given previously. and of course, that causes body aches. He was in no mood to disagree with them. Said he slept most of the day. Hate seeing him this way. But have to think cancer cells are being killed.

I did go out to dinner with my girlfriends Becky, Marian and Kelly. They bought me flowers and treated me to a great dinner. Friendship: you can't beat it. Didn't know whether I should go or not, but Barry said to. I think he just didn't care what I did. It's hard for me to know what to do to help him out. Guess just being there if he needs me is all I can do.

Again, thanks to everyone for making this day very special.

Mammogram/sonogram/mammogram

As you know, I had a mammogram this morning. First one of both breasts since being diagnosed. I asked when I would have the results and was told that the doctor would immediately review them and discuss them with me, since I was a cancer survivor. I started with the mammogram, which led to a sonogram of the left breast (not the cancer breast), and then was told that the dr. wanted the breast marked for another mammogram. All this was being done without me actually meeting the dr. yet. It was after the second mammogram that the dr. came in to explain what was happening and what she was seeing. She brought me into her office and showed me the slides, previous ones and present ones. In the past I had mammos done elsewhere but with an incorrect diagnosis a year ago I wanted someone I could trust. Dr. G. (my oncologist) recommended the hospital that he is associated with. There is a spot in question that showed up on the picture last year which was never discussed by anyone. She talks about calcification (not sure of spelling, buildup of calcium) in a specific area. Normally it shows up on the film as dots, but on mine they are not consistent shapes. Sort of squiggly and therefore need to be biopsied. There is another area of question that also needs to be looked at. While I was there, Dr. G. called her about me. Perfect timing. She explained her findings to him and it was a go for me to do the biopsies.
Here is a link I found for one of the

biopsies:http://www.radiologyinfo.org/content/interventional/breast_biopsy_xr.htm
-steriotactic

the other biopsy I've had before, sonogram guided needle biopsy. Both these tests will be done on the same day. Scheduled for 3/15/06 but after much thought tonight I am going to call her in a.m. to see if this can be moved up. And that date would be my one year anniversary in hearing the word cancer. Funny, huh.

I am glad that this dr. is noticing these items, but it also churns up more stuff in my already cluttered head. But I will continue to be strong as I watch Barry also be strong. I know I should not worry but it's a human emotion.

Barry's had many different aches today, nothing consistent. To us the aches are meaning cancer cells are being killed by chemo.

Not sure what I'll do for my 50th birthday tomorrow. Depends on how Barry feels. Some friends of mine think it might be good for me to go out with the "girls" for a couple of hours. They are leaving their calendar open for me to call them tomorrow. A good definition of friendship.

Thanks for listening to me tonight, you know who you are. Tomorrow will be a better day.

Barry's home

I was at the hospital this morning before 9 a.m. (stuck in city traffic). Had to wait around for some meds to be given to him. We got home by 11:30 a.m. Barry walked from the hospital (no wheelchair) into the parking garage. He's like the energizer bunny.
No nausea, doing wonderful. Slept a bit on the ride home, plus on the couch in the afternoon. We even got ashes at the hospital for Ash Wednesday. That was a plus as I was trying to figure out when I would do that.

In 7 weeks he will go back for another CT scan. And he will have blood work weekly which can be done at our local cancer center. They will be able to fax results to UPMC.

After filling some prescriptions for him, I took a nap. And as my dad told me, took some tylenol. Sure we'll sleep good tonight.

Thanks to all! again.

PS. I go for my mammogram tomorrow morning. First complete mammo since being diagnosed a year ago!!

PSS. 10:25 p.m. and I'm once again enjoying the sound of Barry snoring....Just don't tell him...

2 more days and I'm 50!

Barry's my strength

Once we arrived at the hospital this morning (bright and early), Barry had a MUGA heart scan which took about an hour. He was then prepped for his chemoembolization procedure (cathetar-not a happy camper). He was wheeled away at 10 a.m. and I was told it would be about 3-4 hrs. until I saw him.

I went to the cafeteria for lunch where I noticed a bald woman wearing a baseball cap. As she walked past me, I asked if she was going through treatment. She told me that she had finished chemo and showed me her stubby hair that was growing. She was not going to be having any radiation. She agreed that you meet the nicest people while going through such an ordeal. A very nice woman.

At 2 p.m. Barry was brought to his room. Finally had a room by a window! Two beds in the room, and he is the only one in it. A nice private room. He had to stay on his back for 6 hrs. and keep his right leg straight. He was very uncomfortable in the liver area from the procedure, but was given morphine to relieve the pain. He said it would last a bit and then the pain would be back. Most of the afternoon he slept. He would occasionally wake up and I would give him some water. And of course, lots of vital signs being checked. The only time I left the room to get something for dinner, his doctor came to check on him. There was not much conversation this afternoon but I did enjoy the sound of his snoring. For me it meant that he was resting.

I left the hospital once he was able to get off of his back and onto his side. Had wanted to see him get out of bed but thought it best to get back to Tim. It was a change of shift for the nurses so it was going to be awhile for the nurse to come back and do that.

Thanks to Diane for taking Tim to band banquet tonight.

I'll be going back to hospital first thing in the morning to pick Barry up. I'm not sure what time he will be discharged.

Thanks to all for your continued support. I must say that this chemo treatment is not like the traditional chemo that he/we have had. He certainly is not able to get up and go to work right after it!

A day to rest

One of the better things I did today was to take a 3 hr. nap! And I actually dreamed which made it that much better. Tim played some raquetball with his friends, and I took advantage and hopped into my bed. I love my naps.

Cooking beef stew in crock pot now. Can you smell it? Will probably be Tim's breakfast! He's like Barry, can eat dinner foods in the morning.

Barry remains positive for this new treatment on Tuesday. To see any shrinkage in the large tumor will be a blessing to us.

Tim's sleepover was a success. As usual, you would never know there were that many boys in the house. He had 3 friends actually spend the night. I went to bed before them, never heard a sound. In the morning Tim went to a referee training class which lasted all day. Now he is able to ref kids under the age of 14. He's looking forward to that. More cash in his pocket. Could actually ref games at the local indoor soccer field.

While Tim was at his class, Barry painted the hallway walls. And boy did they need it. It was the first time they had been done by us. They look wonderful. Barry's now inspired to do more walls shortly.

Barry got an unexpected phone call earlier in the day from his oncologist (neighbor of ours). He had been out of state at a seminar all week and was calling to see how the second opinion went. Pretty nice of him to call. They spoke for awhile and then Barry told him to contact the other doctor to go over the findings and recommendations. Which he did. It was like ESP when he called because Barry had joked about standing out by mailbox just to grab the dr. if he should "try" to leave his street this weekend! We told him that. So now Barry is confident about going to UPMC on Tuesday.

Well, I'm off to bed. Tim's already "napping" in his bed. A long day. No nap for me. Can't wait for tomorrow afternoon's nap...

To anonymous: THANKS for that beautiful poem.

Barry is scheduled to have his first treatment on Tuesday morning, bright and early. He will be having a muga scan (heart tests) which will be used as a baseline report.

***Before a patient receives their first dose of Adriamycin, a MUGA scan is usually performed, both to establish a baseline LVEF, and to rule out pre-existing cardiac disease. The MUGA scan is then repeated after a certain amount of Adriamycin is administered (400 milligrams of Adriamycin per square meter of surface area – a number determined by the patient’s height and weight). More MUGA scans are repeated periodically, as more Adriamycin is given. If the patient’s LVEF begins to decrease, then the doctor and patient must reconsider the risks and benefits of continuing with Adriamycin in view of this apparent early cardiac toxicity.

Thus, the MUGA scan plays an important role in allowing Adriamycin to be used in the treatment of cancer, while minimizing the risk of cardiac toxicity.**

The above is from an article we found on the internet>>>>>>>>>


I will be taking that day off. He will have to stay overnight. He doesn't want me to stay in the city, wants me to go home and be with Tim instead. Time will tell. Since it's the first treatment you don't know how you will do.

Tim's got a few friends here tonight for sleepover. Just wanted he want to celebrate his birthday. Must be the age, to keep birthdays low key.

Second opinion is in

Barry heard from UPMC today. Here are the findings:

He has a very rare type of liver cancer called Epithelioid hemangioendothelioma (EHE), of which they've seen only 7 cases of it. The doctors have recommended that he start the treatment I wrote about, chemoembolization, next week. The chemo drug that will be used will be adriamycin, the same drug that I was given for my breast cancer. Best known for it's color, looks like red koolaid.

Before anything happens, we will be in touch with Barry's oncologist to make sure that he concurs with this decision. We will be waiting for more detailed information, such as date and time of treatment.

If you google search EHE liver cancer you are able to read a lot of information. Information that we will be absorbing in the days to come. One thing I've learned this past year is this: lots of new words about the oncology field. I have to think that it's for a reason, to touch others and to show strength to others.

Faith

The following is a portion of an email I got today from a woman I know at my job. I had emailed her about Barry's appointment yesterday. And this is her powerful message to and for me:

Our pastor did his sermon on Sunday about worry. It was very good. The key points were:

1. Focus on your blessings, not your wants.
2. Focus on your faith, not your fears.
3. Focus on the important people in your life.

He said there is not room in our heads or hearts for both worry and
faith. He said we should have faith that the Lord will take care of us.
Once we have established a strong faith, we don't need to worry.

Second opinion with oncologist in Pittsburgh

Barry and I went to see the doctor at UPMC in Pittsburgh this morning. Barry's type of cancer is rare and after looking over all of the documentation and results, the doctor will be presenting Barry's case to a panel of doctors this Wednesday for feedback. I am encouraged in the fact that this hospital deals specifically with cancer of the liver. Unlike my breast cancer and other cancers, surgery is not an option for us since the cancer was located near the lungs also. The focus for us are the tumors in the liver area, two of which are large with other small ones. This doctor is leaning towards the following treatment: here is a website to explain the treatment:

http://www.radiologyinfo.org/content/interventional/chemoembol.htm

The procedure would require Barry to be hospitalized overnight. It is done by interventional radioligists. Our local hospitals do not do this, done in Pittsburgh. He would then come home the next day. Usually sick for that first week. Repeated treatment every 8 weeks. Direct the chemo into the tumor through cathetar and shoot some kind of beeds to stop the blood flow to tumor.

He also had another CT scan today just to be right up to date. By Friday we will hear from this doctor with a course of treatment. Before doing anything, we will talk to our present doctor.

We've absorbed a lot of information today, and you know it does make sense. Just what the thalidomide would do, stop blood flow. Barry and I continue to be positive, know this is not a cure but a treatment. And he has desire to continue to work through all of this. He's got such a work ethic which I do believe is theraputic.

Thanks to all for your continued support and prayers. And thank you Lisa for taking such good care of Tim today while we were in the city.

Barry once again accused me of "snoring" last night! Can't believe that. Boy, this hotel bed just might be too comfy... Leaving to get Tim shortly. Goal is to be on the road home by noon.

We were on the road home by 11 a.m. Took us about 6 hrs. 45 mins. to get home. We had such a great time in such a shor time. The only regret was we were not able to buy pizzas to take home with us. The restaurants were not open in time. We kick ourselves that we didn't go out last night and get them. The next people who come to visit us from Long Island need to bring us some pizzas!!

Once we arrived home, the boys ate their White Castle burgers. Happy campers. I had some shrimp fried rice. Barry's resting now and Tim is in his room doing some artwork on his pc.

Barry's appt. is at 9 a.m. so we should be on the road at about 7 a.m. We had paperwork overnighted to us yesterday for the appt. Looking forward to seeing what the doctors say in Pittsburgh. Tim will be staying with his friend while we go to appt.

Again, a great 24 hrs. You can't take those memories away from us. I hope you enjoy a few of the pictures I took. It was nice to get away but we do love our country living. Too much traffic in New York.

We don't miss this traffic.

  

A quiet day for Mexicans. Usually they line up the whole road.

  

Salad pizza! Nothing like it. Delicious....

  

The Amish and this homeless man have something in common: no electricity.

  

Gas prices were so high on Long Island...

  

Cemetary

  

New York City building

  

George Washington Bridge

  

A great day in Long Island

We left Pennsylvania at 3 a.m. and arrived at our destination by 10 a.m. No problems with traffic at George Washington Bridge/Throgs Neck Bridge. Thank goodness. Barry did all the driving while Tim slept most of the way. As for me, I managed to cat nap often.

Our first stop was to get Dunkin Donuts. Checked into the hotel and then went to our favorite restaurant and enjoyed salad pizza. The best! Worth a 7 hr. trip. Took Tim to his friend's house where he will be staying overnight. Aren't we good parents to take him such a long trip for a sleepover. The boys were so excited. Told them to enjoy roaming the old neighborhood and showing Tim off. Will pick him up in the morning. It was so great seeing Toni, Alec, Barbara and Enrico. Tim may be going back for a visit this summer for a longer time.

We then went to see our neighbors, Pat and Stacey and their 2 children. They did a huge extension on their home and it's absolutely gorgeous. While there, another neighbor came to see us, Lorraine. Geez, everyone looks the same. Great seeing everyone.

Came back to hotel room by 3 p.m. and I rested for couple of hours. Barry had intended to but couldn't fall asleep. Said my snoring was too loud. Am sure he'll sleep good tonight. A long drive for him.

Met Vinnie and his wife Darlene for dinner. He was Barry's boss in Long Island who we've continued to keep in touch with. Had another great meal. Afterwards we went to White Castle (burger joint) to get some belly whoppers to take home. Also picked up some shrimp and pork fried rice at local Chinese restaurant. Am hoping to also bring back a couple of NY pizzas. Good food here but the traffic sucks. Miss my country roads.

As you can see, the hotel room has internet wireless connection. Took us awhile to get it connected but Barry never gives up.

His dr. appt. is 9 a.m. Monday. We hope to leave LI by noon tomorrow. And as I leave here I can once again say "I did everything I came to do, no regrets". Saw many good friends and was able to hug each and every one of them. A great day!

PET scan results

This morning we were given Barry's test results from his PET scan. The nodules on his lung remain very small/no change. One of the tumors near his liver remained about the same, and the other grew a bit. His doctor has recommended that Barry go to Pittsburgh to a cancer center for a second opinion. This has been arranged for Monday morning. All his scans will be sent there, along with his original biopsy results. The news wasn't as good as I thought it could be, but we don't always get what we want. I do feel good about going to Pittsburgh though. Had been a thought in my head to do.

After fighting illness this week, it's come down to a head cold/cough. Taking claritin D right now.

Been a long day. Signing off computer. Taking Tim to a sleepover tomorrow night: to his buddy's house in LI. He's quite excited.

Barry is having his 2nd PET/CT scan tomorrow morning. All my energy is being focused towards a positive outcome. I will be going with Barry to the dr's appt. on Friday for the test results. Barry continues to be so strong in going through these past months. One of the good guys.

I've been fighting sickness all week. Can't afford to get Barry sick. Three people at work have just gotten over being sick with sore throat/flu. I've been popping vitamin C, sudafed, tylenol and cough medicine. So far I'm winning. Plus I've been spraying lysol around the house.

We've decided to go away this weekend to Long Island. Just for a day. A chance for Tim to sleep over his friend's house. And a chance for Barry to have a change of scenery. He/we need that. Looking forward to seeing the old neighborhood and getting to taste some foods that we've missed.

The birthday boy. OK, now we can officially eat the cake.

 
 

I'm such a bad mother. Ate the cake before his actual birthday! Shame on me...

 
 

I can truly say that we have "turkey" on our back yard. And they are a lovely site.

 
 

Happy 15th Birthday Tim! and to Mom, also!

One more year and Tim will be driving. Can't believe that. I made a cake for him the other day and have to admit that I cut in to it before today! So today's cake was not considered the real birthday cake. When we get the DQ ice cream cake coupon that will be the real one. So when he blew out the candles on today's cake, there were some pieces missing. All were by me except one that Barry had. Just can't trust me next to sweets!

After lunch I took Tim to see Firewall, the new movie with Harrison Ford. An action packed movie that afterwards we could talk about the silly parts in it. Amazed us how they could be using laptops online in vehicles. Wonder where the wireless connections were. Heck, better than our Adelphia! We enjoyed popcorn and soda, will have to walk that off later.

My parents and family are getting slammered with a big snow storm. Probably at least a foot of snow. Here, we got a few flurries. Can't beat that.

So it was a nice birthday for Tim. Unlike me, Tim wanted this birthday to be low key. Must be the age. It was nice being able to go to the movies just the two of us. He's a good date!

Happy Birthday, Tim.

Our name on the radio

Barry has always been a fan of a local radio station DJ, Lynn D. Had often told me of her being a local DJ and one who gave away ice cream birthday cakes. This morning he mentioned that I (since he's the shy one) should call the radio station up and see if I could win one for Tim's birthday which is tomorrow. I never expected that she would answer the call. She normally doesn't work on Saturdays and had already given away the cake for today. Barry had told me that she would be someone easy to talk to, a real person. I can now say that he was right. She was so pleasant to talk to, another local person who I felt comfortable talking to. I told her that we had moved here about 4 years ago and of our recent health issues with cancer. Lynn asked for our address and said that she would be mailing us a birthday cake for Tim. What a nice person. She then asked if Barry was home and I put him on the phone with her. We talked with her for about 20 minutes. Lynn also asked for our names and Tim's favorite song which she played after we hung up the phone. Lynn mentioned our names and that it was a dedication for Tim's birthday. Just another nice person to enter our lives.
Thanks, Lynn.

After going out for Mexican food, Tim's gone skating with his friends. A typical Saturday night. He does enjoy skating.

Time flies

Am happy to report that Maureen got discharged from hospital this morning. She sounds wonderful. Happy to be out of the hospital and on the road to recovery.

Two more days and Tim will be 15 years old. Two more days and my mother will be 78 years old. I only say these numbers because of how they work together. At least up until this point. Whatever the numbers add up to in my mother's age (ex. 7 plus 8 equals 15) equals Tim's current age. Very weird how that has happened.

Well, it's Friday and I'm looking forward to a couple of days off. I look forward to Saturdays as I don't have to get up early. Yeahh..

Surgery was successful

I heard from my father about 90 minutes after surgery that my sister Maureen did fine. The removal of the gall bladder was done laprosopically (not sure of spelling) through belly button. Just got off the phone with her and she sounds good. They are keeping her in the hospital.

By the way, I had to tell her Tim's comment about gall and gall bladder. She laughed at that!

Maureen is having her gall bladder out tomorrow morning. As we've always said, morning is better since the operating room is clean and the knives are sharp! Good luck, Moe.

Happy Birthday, Maureen!

Tim had his second indoor soccer game tonight. Just got home. They played the #1 team of the league. Our boys lost 14-1. This season the team is playing up which means they are in the U-19 age group instead of U-16. This will challenge the boys. It was good to see that throughout the whole game, the boys did not stop running. Never gave up. Tim had a shot on goal with less than a minute to go. Thought he had it. But the best part of this evening was when Tim and I were heading to the truck. A boy from the other team was getting into his car and Tim said "Good game" to him. You see, that's what it is all about. Being a good sportsman. And Tim told me that by watching that team it makes you to aspire to be like them. These kids drove off in their cars which showed the age difference.
I think I've got a pretty good kid!

And yes, Happy Birthday Maureen! On Sunday it will be Tim's and Mom's shared birthday. A busy week for birhdays.

Pittsburgh won the Super Bowl...

Today's sermon had a line that included just three words that touched me: Trust in God. Funny how it only takes three words.

Had a nice 2 hr. nap this afternoon in preparation for Super Bowl party I was invited to. Tim and his friends went to a sports center while the game was on with several other church youth groups. Got to play soccer, basketball and eat pizza. They also had TVs to keep track of the score.

Steelers did win the game. But both teams certainly didn't look like pros on the field. But in the end, they won. Geez, after all these months football season is over. It was a great evening of friendship and good food. Actually it was my first super bowl party. And a good one. I certainly do have good friends in this town.

A good day

I've had a good day today. While Tim got his hair cut this morning, Barry and I went to see Fr. Phil. Barry was given the Blessing of the sick which I had received last March. It's been in the back of my head to do and this week Barry asked that I make an appointment. I feel so much better having this blessing done. It meant a lot to me personally when I received it.

All afternoon Barry worked on his truck installing some kind of guages. And for once a project went smoothly. So am pleased at that. While Barry worked on his truck, I got my photo taken for my license so I'm set for another 4 years. I also cooked a chicken dish to bring over to an employee of Barry's. He just had knee surgery yesterday. And I certainly know first hand how getting a cooked meal can be when you don't feel well.

Tim's gone skating with a bunch of friends this evening. He made a lot of phone calls and got the party moving. Hard to believe that on the 12th of this month he will be 15 years old. Boy, time does fly.

BJ, I just have to figure out where we should celebrate...

Spring soccer sign up time

I signed Tim up for spring soccer this evening. Dad, I know you will be happy. Always like to know that Tim is kept physically active. In fact, he and his friends have taken up raquetball at the college. Don't think you can get any more active than that!

Tomorrow is a food day at work. Celebrating the Steelers and the Super Bowl. I'm bringing in home made lasagna as a dish. Love food days.

We've been invited to a Super Bowl party on Sunday. Looking forward to that. Actually is the first one I've ever been to. Unfortunately Barry won't be able to come with us as he has to work.

A night to listen to music

I had a great day at work today. My supervisor showed me a letter that will be placed in my personnel file commending me for attention to detail and saving the bank thousands of dollars on a bad check. I was just being thorough and doing my job when I noticed the check/s in question. You don't always get recognized for doing a job well, so I was very pleased. A copy of the letter will also be given to the woman in charge of the Data Center where I work.

This evening Tim had his mid-winter band concert. I always enjoy the music and seeing all my friends there. Under my leather jacket I wore my new favorite pin that says :CANCER SUCKS! I flashed all my friends. I got to see my oncologist there. Of course he also got flashed! It was a great time. And Eileen, tuba girl was not there. That concert will be in April, one year ago is when you saw her.

So all in all, a very good day for me. And to all you bloggin' buddies, March 3 is coming. Mark your calendars as this is a special day for me. I'm turning 50 and I plan to celebrate. After this past year I'm glad to be alive!