Weekend update

Twice I've had diarrhea with the past few days. Not sure what has caused it. One of days all I did was sleep all day. But have to say that was way my body is healing from recent chemo treatment.

Tim won the soccer game on Saturday and they are now in the playoffs. Yahoo. Barry did see this game on Saturday. But the next game is Tuesday night and it's up in Erie. Not local.

Becky called me at noon today. Asked if I listened to the church on the radio. I said no. She's going to get tape of the sermon as my name was mentioned in Lisa H.'s
sermon. I am considered to be "insprirational". I tell you the truth that there are many days I don't feel that way. And I am this way for my son Tim. If you know me, you know that fact. He's the reason I keep on going forward. I am so proud of him.

Senior Night at Tim's soccer game

Since it was Sr. night for Tim's soccer game, they were recognized and had photos taken with their parents. Or in my situation, with me. It was a large senior group of about 12 or so kids. Had lots of people taking pictures, tomorrow I will download.

When I got there it was just right the temperature, but within 10 minutes I was freezing. First place that freezes is my chest plate and then right arm. Then I moved up to the press box. Sheltered from the elements but still couldn't get the chill off. I couldn't wait to get home but wanted to see the whole game as it could be the last time I get a chance to see Tim play. I was so pleased to have Patti's company up there, she had asked Beckster where I was. The score: a win for us. 12-zero.

The walk to the car seemed to take so long. I was in so much pain. Hard to explain. It's a muscle aching, and as I fight it it gets worse. Didn't even see Tim after the game. He unfortunately did not score any goals. But played well.

Jammies are on, pain meds are in system. Blood work tomorrow.

Hopefully the tenseness will go away soon. I know from this I will be spending most of these evenings to come inside the house.

Thenks Beckster, Rick and Patti.

Happy Anniversary, Maureen and Gene

A welcome light overlooks the colors of fall. So pretty. You have to look for the little things in life that make you smile.

 

I personally don't consider back of the head as I would the front of the face. Do you agree, Jean?

 

One more day of a shot-white blood cells

Tomorrow will be my 4th trip to the Cancer Center for the shot. And by 2 p.m. daily, I am wiped out. I can't wait until Tim is done with soccer, that way I have someone to stay awake for and with. When he's gone to his games, I just sleep. Thursday is Senior night. I'll be there to celebrate his last game of his high school career. Am hoping it is warmer and dryer than today. It was raining and about 37 degrees for today's game. I may just have to stay in press box until the portion of the game that sr.s are recognized. Otherwise, I'm going to be in serious chest plate pain.

Yesterday a dream came true to me. The Pres. of the College and his wife stopped by as promised while on a weekend trip for Homecoming. He had retired a few months ago, and we've been keeping up to date. I was so excited and honored to think they took time out of their busy lives to stop by and give hugs to me. I took a few pictures but promised Jean I would not blog them. But I do have the 3 of us as my wallpaper on my computer. I told them a personal goal for me would be to go visit them in Virginia. Everyone needs a goal, something to look forward to.

While I was at Cancer Center a friend of mine was there. She's going to have a mastectomy in a couple of weeks. Not sure what type, but I as I left her I gave her a hug for good luck.

Heard from my dad on Cape Cod that my best friend from my childhood Mary Lou called and stopped by for a visit today. She got to drive him around the area, as he's not been able to drive himself. She was on Cape Cod for Sunday Night Football and the Patriots I believe. She also contacted me to tell me how much fun she had with the ole fart...

Minor bone aches

That's it. Just minor bone aches for the day. Must mean the shot is working on my white blood cells. Not mentioning my chest plate, because that's a continuous pain.
Listened to church on the radio. Good thing. Could hear lots of coughing in the church. And when I am at home, I can still have my jammies on and under the covers!
Too many germs. By the way, hair still on my head...

Tim and his new friend.

 

My best friend, Tim.

 

I just love this town.

 

Tim and the Marching Band on a beautiful fall day.

 

Another good day

Another good day as days can be. We went to the College's Homecoming Parade. It was a day meant for a parade. Just the right fall temperature. Tim did yard work and mulched up lots of leaves. There are still more to come down. Job security.

It's coming out..

Had asked Dr. S. today about losing the hair. She said that it would definitely be gone. It has been 3 weeks. Just now I was doing my hair pulling test, and she was right on target. The signs are there. But I told her, I've been there before. Just now it's a new season. Have never been bald in cold temps. Perhaps that will make me wear my wigs. Will be visiting my girl friend Retta soon for a buzz cut. Last week I went to another hairdresser with Barry for a short cut. I was in desperate need for a trim and clean up. Unlike the times before, I am not rushing to get it cut. Don't ask me why...'cause I have no answer.

Chemo 2 continues

Well, got home at noon from having chemo. Barry had made me grilled cheese sandwich and tomato soup. I watched my soap which I had not done that often. By 2 p.m. I was in my jammies.

Beckster called me from the soccer field and told me in loud Beckster voice that Tim had scored TWO goals so far. (they ended up winning the game). While I was on the phone she cheered because he attempted a shot on goal. Told me not to worry about not being able to see Tim perform tonight, and that made the flood gates open. I had been thinking in my brain of ways I could see them perform, how to sneak in, sit all by myself isolated. But she put a reality to the situation and said it's not worth putting myself in that situation with so many sick people. I understood, and explained that Lisa P. was going to tape it for me anyway. Thanks Lisa. Tim gave me the disk, now I just have to see how I play it on DVD player. I'm not that great with disks. Cathy C. and she said she would tape for me.


Tim did soccer and left early from the game to go to chorus. Cathy C. took him from one place to the other. He just got home 1/2 hr ago all excited from his afternoon of activities. Rightly so.

I think his first band concert is the last week of Oct. I haven't checked to see how that fits into my chemo schedule.

When I was laying down I think Maureen called me. She wanted to see how I was feeling. Conversation was very quick, so quick it doesn't even seem to register in my brain! Silly me. I have an excuse, chemo brain...

Thanks for all you blog watchers. I'm impressed a blog entry on a chemo day...


PS. Have to say that my pain level is down. Hopefully it's because I was in bed truly all day. Even my chest plate area feels better. Or perhaps it's just the fresh drugs inside my body, finding their way to the bad cancer... One can hope, can't they?

Off to chemo #2 (lost track of what type of treatment)

Heading to 9:30 a.m. chemo. All depends on my counts being good. And then to bed I'm pretty sure.

Overly tired

Getting ready for chemo this Thursday. Pain continues to be especially in collar bone area. Have told so many medical people about the area in question, but no conclusion. Very frustrating. You can tell I'm not myself when I don't post on my blog. That or I don't have anything to say!

Tim has a chorus concert this Wednesday, but I think I'm going to pass on it. Need to save my limited energy for Thursday, and I don't need to be at risk in such a crowded area. Tim will be singing for the first time as a Chamber singer, so I sure do hope someone will videotape this for me. Would mean a lot to me.

Non cancerous cyst

Just got off the phone with dad, previously Maureen. The cyst was not cancerous, and he's going home today. Yahoo. And to think he had to wait all that time for someone to diagnose the problem. I understand that issue for sure. He even sounded stronger in his voice this a.m.

The day started out productive

The day started out to be productive, but by lunch I was in agony with collar bone area. Immediately hit the bed (after a couple of pills) and just got up a 8ish. Everytime I would look at the clock I couldn't figure out if it was AM or PM!
I feel fine now.

Have spoken to my dad after his surgery that went well. He apparently climbed from table to bed or vice versa. Is still in some kind of discomfort but am praying for his cheerful voice on the other end of the phone.

I may just be feeling the effects of the low white blood cells, this was going to be my week of going down/down. But have to do what my body tells me, rest.

Prayers to Dad tomorrow

And to the surgeons' hands and their skills while they do the surgery. I believe it is going to be done at lunch time tomorrow. I pray for healing at a steady pace, and a lot of support. Especially for medical care.

Tim's soccer game.

Lisa invited me to go see the soccer game tonight. I had not been to one in a long time, so I said sure. They lost though. I think the league needs to have a training program for how to referee. Just my personal opinion. It was a comfortable night with no wind.

I think there are only about 3 games left of the season, which means of Tim's high school career. Where does the time go?

college applications

I feel so behind in the college process. Espcecially with not being able to focus. Had thought by now that they would have been sent but that's not the case. I've been told I worry too much. That's my nature. I want Tim to get into a school of his choice. Once his part is done then we will begin our financial paperwork. I am dreading that like the dentist. Becky, you remember how I was in April doing Fed taxes with Rick. Not a good feeling.

A relaxing day doing nothing.

The only thing accomplished which on a Sunday is all that needs to be done, is going to church. And as expected Rick and Bev were waiting for me to sit with them. I got to introduced them to my friends Becky, Joanne and her husband. For once I knew someone that no one else knew.

Tim had a great time at homecoming last night. I got to finally see what his date looks like via a photo someone emailed me. They matched so nicely. Tim did all the shopping for the night.

Well, as I said in the opening. A day with not one thing being done. Oh yes, laundry and dishes. That's it. And I did hear from Maureen that my dad's pain is being controlled and that he will remain in hospital until the surgery Wednesday. Maureen did what I suggested, had my father just rest with mom and she not visiting most of the day. I told her first hand how tiring it was to have mom come to visit me. I know she took it as it was meant, not to be rude. And dad needs to rest rest rest these days in the hospital. Paying good money, might as well get your money's worth.

Tim's off from school tomorrow. Planning on helping Barry with his vehicle, putting fog lights in.

The boys and their dates.. Cute couples.

 

Autumn flower arrangement

 

Tim, Dad and our new vehicles.

 

 

 

Which Honda should I drive tonight? Decisions, decisions

 

 

 

A GOOD Day, Tim goes to Homecoming Dance

Tim just left the house driving new Honda Element. Only difference it is about 4 months older than he had for the prom. Took a few pictures to be downloaded later. It was a photo shoot of Tim and our 2 new Honda vehicles. Quite classy. And once again, am so proud of him. We had a very relaxing lunch at the Chinese food restaurant and then to get some apples.

This is the year of "all the lasts". His last homecoming dance. His last soccer game followed by soccer bandquet. So many changes. And then the cycle changes again. Then it becomes the first year of college. First college dance. The cycle of life.

Prayers for some relief for my dad

He was admitted to hospital after a visit to the emergency room last night. The "boss" has already taken care of boarding their dog and arranged people to take turns with my mom for about a week in advance. Has seen his surgeon and doesn't feel there is any time in his schedule for the surgery to be moved up. He's on a morphine drip and oxycodone. At least he's in the hospital and main thing right now is pain control which he has had in many many months. And he won't have to worry about mom, taking care of her is a FULL time job. But for some reason he has not accepted any of Maureen's help in getting a person in the house to do home care. Stubborn guy. But he's where he needs to be, in bed with others taking care of him. My mom will be fine. With alzheimers if you have a bad day, no matter. The bad day is out of your memory to even remember! That's a blessing.

I talked to both of them this a.m. And will do so later in the day.

A nice Friday

Had blood work today, first since having my first dose of the new chemo. It's showing a drop the "counts", will be a slow roller coaster ride. Have heard it will truly effect my energy level ( not I have any now). And Barry and I got our hair cuts at the same time. Would have liked to have my camera to post it on blog. A kodak moment.

Told hairdresser my story (I always do that) as she was clipping away. I will lose it by chemo within a week or two. But this time I went the route of short pixy style cut. Feels and look great. Wanted this to be done, didn't want to wait any longer. It was a goal of mine. When the time comes, I'll find Retta to do the buzzing of my head.

Went to football game with Barry. Last minute decision. But was tired and cold at 1/2 time so we left early. Our team was winning. Tim did his job, provided me goodies that bandmembers get. So many people came up to me as I walked around with Becky. Lots of hugs and well wishes. Met someone who heads up our office there, they dropped off a autumn flower arrangements and fresh scones and butter. Yes, Barry tasted one!

Phone message when we got home. My dad is in hospital under medication. I only wish I could see him, but that would not be possible during this treatment. The way I look at it, you should treat your last conversation as if it could be your last one. And then you will have no regrets. Don't know how Maureen does it, we call her effectionately the "boss" for a reason.

I'll be calling them in a.m. for update on my dad. I love him so much.

PS. Was just mentioning to Barry that we were going to Presby church Sunday. Great minds think alike. Comment on my blog was from Rick who is President of College.
I can finally introduce him to Becky.

One more thought

For the past couple of days I didn't feel like I was in la la land. Bit more focused. I don't know how people can do drugs. Not for me. But I will monitor the pain level minute by minute.

A better day (finally)

Not a good day, but better. Have reduced the meds 1/2 the amount as I did not like the feeling of looking like a zombie. My head was attached to my body, but nothing was in there. (stop your comments, Barry!) Not a pleasant feeling. When I went to get my shots, I was walking so carefully/cautiously so as to not let others see me floundering. I'm finished with my 4 shots of neuprogen. I go for my first blood work since getting this new chemo tomorrow. I've not been driving since I continue to be on meds which hasn't been fun. Barry continues to be my angel, never complains of his own aches. Drives and does almost all the cooking. I am truly thankful to him.
I try not to cry because it causes my chest plate to hurt, to be uncomfortable. Plus it wears me down. But there is a small place in my heart that I guestion things.

Please pray for my father, the old far, has he goes into the hospital next Wednesday for surgery. He's been suffering so severely. Along with taking full time care of my mother at home. Drives her to day care several times a week, gives him the time to just lie down and sleep if possible. My sister Maureen told me this

has cyst in spinal lumbar area pushing against nerve and probably cyst growing as the numbness down leg. says recovery couple weeks-older people do better as they take less pain med finally a plan and i am off that day adios back to cape Friday night
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He worries about me, I worry about them. I know that God is in control, I honestly do. Just hard sometimes to get throgh the day.

no energy

What can I say. Had my last shot today, Friday is blood work. I wish I could blog daily, but even healhy people don't do that.

Steroids 'cause me to be up all night.

And I've known from past experience this happens. I got my white booster shot this am. tomorrow I'll also have my blood checked on Fridays.

Goin to lie down, if only to rest.

Another chemo drug (mitoxantrone ), blue drug. Maybe blue is my lucky color..

This will be my only posting for this day. Just wanted to say thanks to everyone that has been praying for us. The local Presbyterian Church asked me the other day if she could coordinate such a thing. The names of the 2 women are Lisa H. and Ronee and I said yes. Yes for it to be a prayer chain only at this time. I thought it was a great idea.

Couple of pre meds, nausea and steroid. Chemo is only about 20 mins. via IV also.

Went right to bed when I got him. Next 4 bus. days I have to go for daily shot to bring my white blood cells up since chemo will know them down. Fridays are my blood work days. By the time I have next treatment (3weeks) I will have lost my hair they say. Unable to sleep, exhausted and have been told it will be that way for awhile. Just when you feel good, you go through the cycle again. Steroids fight sleep.

FIRST NEW CHEMO DRUG COMPLETED

It is moe again. I spoke to Jane quickly at suppertime and she said the chemo drug infused in 20 minutes or so and was able to be home after l l/2 hour or so. Still on oxycontin heavy strength. Very excited about a new PRAYER CHAIN FOR HER-she will discuss the importance of this to her healing etc. Also spoke of the new ANGEL CAR
DRIVER VOLUNTEERS that will allow her to get daily med injections the days following chemo when Barry is unable to drive her. Thanks to all in gods country that help her get thru this rough road in life. Adios moe

chemo starts this wednesday

Muga test all done.

Happy Anniversary, MOM AND DAD

Sept. 22 is my dad and mom's anniversary. Let's do some comment bloggin' for them.

MUGA scan scheduled tomorrow a.m. Joanne S. will drive me.

Oncologist in Pittsburgh has increased my pain meds due to pain (no kiddin').

Happy Anniversary!

Going to soccer game tonight..

I continue to sleep/rest a lot. Today I'm planning on seeing Tim's soccer game at 7:30 p.m.. Have not seen him play in a long time.

Today was his first day at local senior residence as a volunteer. I think he'll enjoy that job. Already had a good day. Can understand through his own personal experience that just by listening you can make someone's day a lot better. He says the activities coordinator reminds him of my sister Maureen. Full of energy and loves working her patients. One of the patients remembered him from before. And the lady that hired him had a picture on her desk of when he was at the Sr. Prom last year!

Updated blog 10:36 p.m.

The team they played, played dirty in my opinion. And unfortunately it went into double OT and they scored with seconds to go. Final score: the dirty team 1, the clean team 0. And I do believe one of the refs needs to have his eyes checked to notice how dirty the other team played. At times I felt like I was at a football game! But with the pain I was in, I can't waste my energy yelling and getting upset.
I just know that I am proud of how our team handled themselves.

Planning on going to Presbyterian Church tomorrow. And hoping the College Pres. and his wife Bev is there. For some reason the Beckster has not met them. Can you believe that? I know someone that she doesn't know... Also am hoping to sit with Patti. Did I mention that the elderly gent from that church stopped by my house to pray with and for me. His name is Joe and he's one of the kindest men I have known.

I spent the whole day in bed..

Basically I've been in bed all day today. Still uncomfortable. Just wanted to see if I in fact didn't do anything, if that would make my pain go away. For some reason it is very painful in my left armpit area, especially when I was to reach a bit too much.

Barry's at the game tonight. I didn't want to go.

Monday I'm having my heart scan, a baseline for how my heart appears before this strong chemo drug. My first treatment will probably be Tuesday or Wednesday next week. Will cause hair loss. Now everyone can see my craniotomy scar. No longer is my head a perfect shape. Time to have Retta trim my hair. Not only because it's going to come out, but it just needs it.

I can tell when the 12 hrs. is about up, pain comes back stronger.

Thanks Maureen for updating my blog when I'm not up to it. This blog means everything to me.

THANK GOD FOR BARRY!! TIM TOO!!

Spoke to Jane last night and she was very discouraged with all that was happening!! It is bad enough to have the cancer but not to have electricity is the pits. Power just back on noon Thursday. She said she was able to use the laptop computer in the basement. Barry had gotten a second generator and therefore power could be used one room at a time. She spoke of being thankful for Barry setting up generator in his spare time. How can things RAIN anymore on me she said-I am so discouraged. She cried some and then settled down. She constantly said to me that HER BLOG IS HER LIFE-HER BABY and at this time I was watching it for her. I cried too. Also spoke of lack of hot water for shower, having to wash Tim's soccer clothes by hand. She did enjoy a hot burger on the grill and was excited to get some cookies from Janet a former neighbor where Tim mows the lawn. She will have muga scan next Friday and at this time is at local oncologist office with Barry to have a plan of care. The chest pain was a problem yesterday and she is hoping it will be less today. Thanks for all the entries!! There is excitement in her voice when she speaks of them. adios moe

HITTING IT ON THE NOGGIN!! however it is spelled!

Just spoke to Jane and the pain is less. She told me the blog postings keep her going!! She was able last night to read them quickly as they still have no power. PLEASE KEEP POSTING!! YEH TIM for getting a 96 on your first college test in psychology----an AAAAA Yes Jane I will yell it around cape cod today!!adios moe

I'M GOING TO FIGHT,FIGHT,FIGHT

It is Moe posting for Jane. Jane and Barry just returned from Pittsburg oncologist.
They still have no electricity and won't get it until end of week but she wants u to post anyway. Thank u Jody for the cd u left on my doorstep that the church recorded! The oncologist told them there are lots of different options to fight the new cancer spots. She told me the liver is a small spot which is good. Thursday she will meet with her local oncologist who will discuss treatments with Pittsburg oncologist for a new plan. The medicine will be BLUE this time and not the red as the initial Adiamycin drug way back when. Jane keeps her sense of humor even though her chest pain is making it hard to talk!! She says she is staying PATRIOTIC with the color regime. Once again she will have the hair loss. Treatment will be every 3 weeks. A muga scan will be done as prior as the drug can be toxic to the heart. The chest pain is pleurisy-presently needs to get under more comfort control. Please post as the positive energy is a LIFESAVER for her in so many ways. Once again she tells me she is off to bed in the jammies and it is still too hard for her to get the phone as the chest pain is out of control at this time as she took less med prior to going to the city. adios moe

Pain is no better

Pain is no better, would say it was a 10. Hard to even talk for a period of time.
In bed most of the day, didn't even go to church. But listened to it on the college radio station for about 1/2 the sermon. Shortly after it was done I heard a car come up driveway. Asked Tim to see who it was. You'll never guess. President Rick and his wife Bev with one of my favorite things: chocolates that I enjoy from his office! I am so blessed. I now have had 2 Presidents in my house. People have told me that has happened 'cause of who I am. You get what you give.

Will stay home tomorrow if pain is not any better. Next day Tuesday is my appt. with oncologist.

God has a plan for me

Everyone knows how important a plan is. But I've had to change my way of thinking of a plan. I now realize that the situation has changed, so therefore the plan has to. I will continue to be optimistic but realistic at the same time. I'm running out of body parts you know! And my new way of thinking is this: It's all in God's plan! and hands anyway.

I once heard an interview from Randy Pausch, they mentioned that they do not have to like the cancer but will deal with it. Or something like this.

My main concern now is to get control of the pain, which hasn't happened yet. Per my local oncologist (and Maureen's suggestion) we've switched the class of pain meds.
Spent most of the day in bed, tossing and turning, not being able to get comfortable. My chest continues to have a burning sensation, a tightness as if my chestplate is going to explode. I look back at the past couple of weeks, when i was going over speed bumps I would stiffen to lessen the impact. So it was changing previously.

And I got good news from Tim today. He tried out and got a position with the Chamber Singers with the chorus! Had told me last year that when the auditions were going to happen, that was his intention.

Cancer Sucks, haven't I said that before?

I woke up this a.m. with pain in my chest. By 9 a.m. Barry took me to E.R. CT Scan was done of my chest, and the cancer has grown. More nodules in lungs (along with growth), something with chest wall (can't remember) and it looks like it has spread to my liver. I've cried a lot today. I just don't hate cancer, I hate the effect it will have on Tim.

Have not rested yet today, but wanted to post an update. Pain continues, pain meds have not kicked in yet.

By the way, since we live in small town the Reverend Lisa just called to say I'm on their prayer chain. She didn't realize I had just got the news today. I was talking about Tim and how proud I was of him. I told her this: and she said sounds like a great idea.

I am so proud of Tim. He just got his class rank and he's in the top 10 out of 126 students! I wasn't going to blog, but what the hell. I want to scream at the top of my lungs today to tell everyone this good news, especially today. So open up your windows and here I come...

Why should we only talk negative, and be afraid to talk positive?


8 PM Update
Pain is no better. It's a constant stinging pain, which because I have to breathe then there is of course pain. Have taken two more dosages of pain med. My main concern right now is to get the pain under control. Got out of control last night as I thought I was calmly sleeping. No way.

The ER room has made an appt. with my Pittsburgh oncologist to go over these results. That'll be Tuesday at 11:45 a.m. This cancer lives up to its reputation, fast moving and aggressive. It was only 5 weeks since my last CT scan, and VOILA.

Quote that caught my eye (and Barry's)

"Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome." -
-- Isaac Asimov

Naptime for me

All set to get into my jammies and nap. Hopefully the phone won't ring..

Chemo now at work..

As planned I saw Dr. Simon at 9:45 a.m. after my blood work was checked and found to be OK. I am emotionally pooped today, here's a very brief summary to explain (if receiving chemo wasn't enough!)

home by noon, grilled cheese and tomato sandwich quickly cooked, people who have bought Barry's old truck stopped by for us to go to local bank 1 p.m. to close on their loan, there for a couple of hours due to screwup in their original branch location, off to AAA to sign off on title.

two good things came from this day. truck sold and cash is in our hands! but since I had no break after getting chemo my body has paid a price, physically and mentally. Oh yes, insurance has been canceled on truck. That was also sitting on our heads. Within 5 mins. of getting home which was about 3:45 p.m. I was in my jammies. Don't get me wrong, I took my meds before my head hit the pillow and took the phone off the hook. I couldn't wait to fall asleep, aches and all.

Just got up at 7 p.m. Of course my sister Maureen wondered how my medi port worked. Am very thankful I have that. A small blessing.

Now I'm sending my son to get Subway. No intention of cooking or even reheating. PS again. Tim just intercommed me and he's making egg sandwiches. Mmmm.

Am hoping tomorrow is less eventful. I already know my account will have more money in it.

November 6th is my next CT/MRI scans. Will be a little over 3 months.

All set for another round of chemo tomorrow..

That's it. Another round of chemo is set for tomorrow morning. As they say, bring on the drugs! Fight fight fight

I love Sundays

We went to church this a.m. and sat with the President of the College and his wife, Rick and Bev. And I got to introduce Tim to both of them. It was so nice. The greeters at the door today was one of my co-workers and her husband. It is so nice when you know so many people, and they know you. After the service I introduced my self to the new Pastor of a couple of months. It's a small town when you are meeting someone for the first time and they that they've heard about you. Kind of makes you feel special, in a very special way. His name is Ralph and I've followed his own blog. So he asked me for my blog address and have emailed it to him. His blog entries are more wordy than mine though. Must be the preacher in him! On his first day at the church the congregation wore bow ties, all in honor of him 'cause that's what he usually wears. He got a kick out of it.

One of my favorite songs was song today. Open the Eyes of My Heart. My favorite one is Awesome God though. I truly get so much strength from music, especially the lyrics. Here is a chorus from a Christian singer Natalie Grant that touched my heart:

I will stumble
I will fall down
But I will not be moved
I will make mistakes
I will face heartache
But I will not be moved
On Christ the Solid Rock I stand
All other ground is sinking sand
I will not be moved

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What I get out of these lyrics is I will stumble, fall but eventually stand with Christ.

I'm still here.

The nerve test was just what I had expected. Was no trouble at all. Two doctors each did a portion of their test. After it was done, the last doctor mentioned that he didn't find anything wrong. I've emailed my neurologist this week for the results, and he's having trouble tracking them down. Not knowing what is causing me this pain is very hard to understand. But I'm not giving up, I know there is pain especially collar bone area and right side of shoulder. The collar bone is hurting now when I take a deep breath in. And the chest plate continues to bother me. I am so sick and tired of having this pain. I know I should not whine but after awhile it gets to you.

The four hours I work at the college helps me a lot. It works both ways I think. But by the last hour I've just about had enough. I'm so blessed to be in such a caring environment there. It's just what I need. When I was in the hospital in April I was thinking of the job, not feeling I could return to it in same capacity. But God and my bosses took care of that.

I've not posted this week 'cause I've just not felt like there is anything new to report. But have heard from my sister that my dad was concerned about me. Perhaps I should just type at least a word or two each day so people know I'm still around.

EMG Nerve Test tomorrow

I'm headed into the city tomorrow a.m. for an EMG nerve test, upper extremeties.
Test takes about an hr., and I've been told the 2nd part is when they insert a needle into the muscle. Depends on your tolerance level what you will feel. I'm thinking positive.

A great community

As we left church this morning, I mentioned to Tim how much it meant to me. I just had a truly wonderful morning. It's not only a building for gathering, but a church is a community of fellowship and friends. In the past we would attend church and immediately get in the car to go home. This is not the case these days. We share conversations, get personal health updates and just plain talk. Teenagers gather around and sit as a group which is so nice to see, especially in this time. It reminds me of Cheers in a way, where no one is a stranger for a long time. It's a place for caring and sharing. Hard to explain but I know that for now we're in a good place!

Triple Shot Injections (TSI) of the right shoulder

I had my last appt. of the week this a.m. with pain management doctor. He gave me a TSI (explained above) of the right shoulder. Procedure involved cleaning the area, inserting via needle an anesthetic to numb the area and a steroid similar to cortisone. This was done by having an oval shaped X-ray tube over my shoulder, showing the doctor the area that he wanted to inject the medicine. 2 of the 3 injections involved pressure but I just took it like a "man." The 3rd was put in my bursa area and I had expected it to be the worst, but it caused no pain. The whole thing took about 10-15 minutes. Explained that the anesthetic would wear off after about 7 hrs. and not to get depressed if the pain would return. And he was right on his calculations, the pain has returned but I am thinking positive thoughts. I told him I continue to fight cancer and that I have a high tolerance level. I have a follow up appt. next month. I told him about my appt. at Presbyterian Hospital next Tuesday for the EMG nerve test for upper extremities. Said that was good idea. I continue to have headache in the back of my eyes ALL day today. Took ibuprofen and sudafed in case it was sinus. I had trouble sleeping this p.m.

Just got off the phone with family. My father is finally feeling relief from his pain for the past few months. Yesterday he also had an injection in lower part of his spine. This was the second injection, different body part in 2 weeks. I know from experience that when you're used to feeling a 10 in pain level, anything is better. He told me that it's about a 4-5 now. Am praying it continues to decrease. He has been having hip issues.

Tomorrow Barry goes for his CT scans in Pittsburgh at 7 a.m. Has not received chemo since last part of January. But have to know that doctor does know best. I have not ever prayed for a miracle, but maybe it's time to. I was always content with the tumors not changing size and growing, but I'm going to ask for a miracle. Wouldn't it be great if the cancer was gone? They always say reach high.

As for Tim, he's made it through 3 days of being a senior. And liking it as usual.
First football game is tomorrow for the band, and his first soccer game is Saturday.
He keeps busy. And continues to be a great kid.

The reason I have a blog

"An event that appears inexplicable by the laws of nature and so is held to be supernatural in origin or an act of God: “Miracles are spontaneous, they cannot be summoned, but come of themselves” (Katherine Anne Porter)."



Copied from a recent post by a close friend BJ. Touched my heart like all the other comments that are posted on my blog. I don't know how to explain it, but this blog is my therapy. I use it when I'm up and also when my spirit needs to be lifted.

Thanks.

PS. Was able to get chemo today. Continue to have mild headache but was told if they were to get worse to call neurosurgeon right away. I can take ibuprofen for them. I head to pain mgt. doctor in a.m. for triple shoulder shot, X-ray guided.
Barry's driving me.

A long day at Presby....

Left the house at 9:30 a.m. and got home at about 5:30 p.m. Always a long day when you go to a Pittsburgh dr.'s appt. The highlight was actually meeting Dr. Dan and Dr. Eng the two neurosurgeons that did my brain surgery in April 2008. They were pleasantly surprised in what they saw today in me. Our previous meeting I was unconscious, unable to talk and paralyzed. They both called me a "miracle." One of my questions I had noted on a piece of paper to ask them was this: did I have a tumor or was it cancer? They said yes to both. And the cancer was from my breast cancer that traveled to the brain. Same thing happened with the cancer I now have in my lungs. I had never asked anyone but had this question in my head all these months, even though I had gone through cyberknife. I did not react in their presence but as I walked to my car and on my way home I shed some tears. Lots of tears. Even though it was in the past, any time you hear the word as part of your body it stabs you in your stomach. The phone was ringing when I got home and it was Barry, and I had been crying. I explained it to him why I was upset, he already had figured it out. His assumption is when I had the chest resection in Nov. 2007, they had to cut the main artery (not sure of spelling) as the cancer was attached to it, hence the cancer cells escaped to lungs and brain. And only God knows where else.

Eileen,
I was looking forward to meeting Dr. Dan. I remember you told me about his dimples.
I messed up my words as it happens, and said to him that he has nice "nipples." Quickly corrected myself and apologized for using the wrong word. He understood as the specific part of my brain that was infected dealt with speech.

And yes, both of the doctors are so cute.

I'm going to repeat the MRI of brain in a couple of months. And upon examining my shoulder they are scheduling me for a nerve test. Can't remember the name. It's been a long tiring day.

And tomorrow is chemo.

PS. Tim started his 2nd college course at the college where I work. Also was his first day as a Senior in high school. He will attend 2 days a week at college.
Looking forward to seeing him if he has a second or two.

Going to be a busy week

Tomorrow I head to meet my neurosurgeon for the first time. Have been experiencing minor daily headaches. Dr. Dan.

Wednesday is going to be chemo day (pushed back a day for meeting tomorrow).

Thursday I'm heading to Wexford for a "triple shot injection" on my shoulder to see if that helps with the pain. Sure do hope so.

Off to work.

Happy Birthday to my Dad..

You are the best. I love you more than you can imagine. And yes, you still are an olde fart!

Here's to both you and me getting rid of our pain together.

Happy Birthday!

Nerve block not an option

Just got back from pain mgt. and am pooped. Along with being in pain. Too tired to blog. Going for triple shoulder injection next Thursday under the X-ray to aim for the area in question. Got a script for medicine which will be delivered via UPS in a day or two. Was told my anatomy "altered", have to treat symptoms. Then I had to go for a urine drug test, which to me seemed funny as I am so against narcotics!

I just wish there was a test that would show the severity of my pain. Just haven't found it...

Appt. with Advanced Pain Mgt....

Had been scheduled for Sept. 22 which is an eternity, but through some phone calls today (between the 2 doctors offices) I've been set up for consultation tomorrow at their Wexford location! My two newest angels are Toni at the Advanced Pain Mgt. and Bonnie at my rehab. doctor's office.

I also have reached out to my Pittsburgh doctors for their input. My neurologist wants to see me next Tuesday at his clinic. He was one of my doctors who saved my life in April 2008.

Am hopeful that there will be a diagnosis, and then a plan of attack.

Had chemo today. Now heading to bed.


Updated 7 P.M.

I just took the time to do a 'search' on my blog for specific words: right shoulder, collar bone. Then I printed the entries. This pain goes back to Dec. 07.
And don't forget that I had the chest resection in Nov. 07. Bringing this as backup to my appt. tomorrow. I'm determined to find a fix.

Leroy is no longer in pain

Got my final daily email from Leroy Sievers blog. With tears in my eyes I read it. But I personally know in part the pain he's been going through for the past years and I have to pray that he no longer feels the pain. He recently mentioned hospice and getting a hospital bed, and that was a new direction in his life. And had also asked for opinions on what is to be done with his daily blog. I left my comment for him and said when he passes on it should come to the end by Laurie explaining her feelings, updating us to the funeral arrangements. It was his blog, his sharing thoughts that made us cancer survivors hear first hand what this disease takes away but also gives to you.

Here is the entry:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Leroy

Dear friends:

I'm so sorry to bring you this news. Leroy passed away last night. It happened very quickly.

You will hear from Laurie later. In the meantime, please let me tell you something all of you already know, how much this blog and all your comments have meant to Leroy. He felt all the affection and good wishes and strength you sent him every day. He told us that of the many things he had accomplished, he was proudest of My Cancer. The connection he felt with all of you made such a difference in his life.

I feel so privileged to have had a chance to work with Leroy and call him a friend. All of us here do. We will miss him so much, just as you will.

If you'd like to, please leave your thoughts, remembrances, anything you want to write here. I know Laurie will read them. I know you will keep her and Leroy in your thoughts and prayers today.

--Maeve McGoran

7:59 AM ET | 08-16-2008 | permalink



NPR also shows it on the following link:

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=92028479

And there is also a link on ABC news that ends with this terrific comment:

For months he kept an extra large t-shirt draped over a chair in his home, for all visitors to see. It says, simply: Cancer Sucks.


Sievers Brought Cancer Battle Public
But despite his many accomplishments as a television producer, it was Sievers' writing about his battle with colon cancer that many of his colleagues and friends believe is his greatest legacy.


When his colorectal cancer, first diagnosed in 2001, returned with a terminal diagnosis in late 2005, Sievers began writing about the experience. In a daily blog published on npr.org, weekly podcasts and occassional radio commentaries on NPR's "Morning Edition," Sievers spoke wth startling honesty about living with a cancer that he knew would one day take his life.

But with the strength and stubborness that were his hallmark as a journalist, Sievers defied the medical odds.

First told by doctors he may have only six months to live, Sievers endured a battery of often painful and experimental treatments and procedures, including two brain surgeries, three lengthy back surgeries, multiple rounds of chemotherapy, radiation and radiofrequency ablation.

Each of Sievers' blog entries began with a simple statement of purpose, "After that day, your life is never the same. 'That day' is the day the doctor tells you, 'You have cancer.' Every one of us knows someone who's had to face that news. It's scary, it's sad. But it's still life, and it's a life worth living."






I will miss him as if I've known him. But I have to know now he is no longer in pain.

Great place to work

It's been good therapy for me to get back to work part time. I work 4 hrs. in the morning, and at this time in my life I don't think I could handle any more hrs. My aches start to bother me at about 3 1/2 hrs. So many people stop to ask me how I'm doing. And you know I have to be truthful. They say that I look great. My response is often I wish I felt that way. This past week has been a difficult week for me.

But...
am truly thankful for my bosses. They work with me. Give me "special projects" to do. Keeps me busy and I like to help out. They know my limitations and have been great. In this day and age, this is uncommon. And I do appreciate it.

Next step Advanced Pain Management

The physical therapist today agreed that my situation is complex. He's very compassionate and takes the time to analyze the problem. I brought him medical reports of the surgery in Nov. 07 and my test results from July 08.

It was a very long afternoon of seeing him, and then trying to fill a prescription (that he had to have faxed from yesterday's rehab dr.) for a prescription pad. Unfortunately my insurance would not cover it and the cost for this pad is $256.00.
Someone is ripping us off. So I had to go to plan B for another medicine that is placed on a band aid type item, with a plus and a negative "battery". It's adhesive and I have to wear it for 14 hrs. Works on some theory opposites attract. Who knows. But it's been on for about 5 hrs. and I don't feel a thing. Placed on my collar bone area. The physical therapist pulled/stretched my neck and then located a spot that seems to be the cause of my pain. Collar bone area. Combination of prior surgery and being paralyzed in April.

End result is come Monday I'm going to call the Advanced Pain Mgt. in Wexford for appt. I'm losing so much energy with this chronic pain. Can't even lie down and get comfortable. Thank goodness for sleeping pill. That truly helps me sleep through the night.

I spent a few phone calls to woman at rehab doctor's office this afternoon with trying to find something comparable to the drug not covered by insurance. She has kindly offered to deliver some sample "pads" to their office in Hermitage that I can try next week. She was very helpful.

Pain update

The taping that P/T did yesterday did decrease my pain level today. Am thankful for that. It's not a miracle (yet) just a much needed "band aid." After about 3 1/2 hrs. at work I've just about had it. Would not be able to work more hrs. at this point. May eventually see dr. in Cranberry that Pretty Patti gave me information on for advanced pain medicine. About 45 mins. away. Mentioned that drs. could place a block in shoulder area to numb the possible nerve that is causing the pain.

Today I had follow up appt. with rehab. dr. that attended to me while I was in local hospital. There was no exam, me just blabbing about what I've been doing for relief. He just nodded his head and agreed with P/T I saw yesterday. No shit! I had always complained about collar bone sticking out and shoulder pain could have been caused by being paralyzed after brain surgery. (I mentioned it to him last visit). He wrote up a script for a shoulder brace if that is my eventual route. Tomorrow I meet with P/T again.

The taping has a specific name that I think starts with an M. Am wrapped up like a mummy.


Updated 9:11 PM

Unfortunately the pain has just returned to the previous level. :(

Visit to local physical therapist

At the suggestion of my friend Lisa, I made an appt. today and was seen today by a local physical therapist. I canceled the appt. I had with chiropractor.

Here is a portion of email that I sent to some people about my visit with Larry.

I was impressed with Larry. he taped my shoulder up and it is improved. going back friday. says I am truly a unique case. thinks it is combination of surgery Nov. 07 where my collar bone, ribs taken out, being paralyzed and therefore inactive muscles . something to do with my neck, also. said to take it easy. he spent more time with me than any doctor I've seen recently. Am going to bring my report from operation.
Mentioned something about first couple of ribs taken out? Worked on my neck, stretching it. Had just started to feel a tingly feeling in my right palm this week. All related.

Where do I go now?

Yesterday was one of my "better" days in the past few months, had hoped it would continue. But, pain is back in shoulder area and I'm getting very upset with it. Difficult to raise my arm up/stiffness in arm pit area and shoulder. Don't know where to go. What to do? Wish someone would come up with a diagnosis so then I could make a plan to treat it. Am tired of just using and trying "bandaids".
Very frustrated to the point that tonight while Barry and I were out to dinner I just cried. And I know that is not fair to him but the pain was unbearable. Tomorrow is going to be my last appt. with chiropractor as I've been seeing him for about 3 weeks and I don't see any difference in pain. Pain mgt. could be an option but that doesn't diagnose the problem, they just give you drugs to not feel the pain. (at this stage maybe I shouldn't worry about taking drugs) Acupuncture? My body is unique due to the extensive surgery in Nov. 07 and my recent brain tumors in April of this year.

I had blood work this afternoon and my counts were OK. Just a bit above the minimum required to receive the chemo. But it was my off week so that didn't make any difference.

PS If you see me in person, please don't mention my recurring pain as I don't want to become emotional. Just post comments.

Happy Birthday Stephanie

I want to wish my niece Stephanie a very Happy Birthday! And I want all my bloggin'
friends to do the same....

PS. Daughter of my brother the chef/restaurant owner and his wife. updated 8/11/08

Headache kind of a day

I've had about 6 or 7 appts. with chiropractor. Not sure if they are working yet as my shoulder still causes me discomfort. Each visit he uses a rolling pin contraption on the backside of my neck, yesterday's visit he noticed that my left side was very stiff so therefore worked on that side. The electic stimulation feels good while it's on. I mentioned that perhaps I would check out acupuncture and he had heard good things about that method. I'm just so tired of this pain. Call me a whiner. I do realize that there are others in worse situations and should be thankful but...

This morning I woke up with headache which I haven't had in a long time. Lasted most of the day. Even a nap after lunch didn't work. Unsure what caused it but it eventually went away. Am thinking I stopped taking the ibupofren last night (had not seen a difference in pain level) and switched to another pain reliever that my oncologist recommended. I did see that a side effect was headache but after I called pharmacy I was told that headaches were not common. Perhaps it was sign of withdrawal. Don't know. Never took another one of those pills later in day. I feel that I'm just grasping for anything at this point.

Still here

Just a quick note to say that I'm still here, just haven't posted in a day or two.
Have been working 4 hrs. each day (except for Tuesday when I got my chemo) which is enough for me. Keeps my mind busy and I am with friends.

My chiropractor gave me an exercise to do with a rubber band for my shoulder when I saw him on Monday. I wasn't able to do them on Tuesday, too tired from chemo. I'm having some discomfort in my arm, it may be a combination of the new exercise and just returning to work. I have an appt. with him tomorrow p.m. to ask about it. Each afternoon I continue to take a much needed nap.

I still have 2 checking acct. statements to balance. I used to balance them right away, but with these past few months I find they just sit there. Maybe I'll tackle them this weekend!

Able to have chemo today...

I was able to have chemo today. But it wiped me out. As soon as I got home at about 10ish I went to bed. Got up at noon for couple of hrs and then back to bed at 2:30 p.m. I guess I'm not as young as I used to be! Had zero energy once again. But I can report that my shoulder has not needed any ointment Biofreeze applied to it yet today. That's the good news.

Next week is my "off" week from chemo. Yeah! Normally my counts would have been too low to have received it so we are taking that into account and just not scheduling it. Therefore, beating the bullet.

One recent comment on my blog was from Matt K. Heck, I haven't heard from him in years. We worked together at local bank a few years ago on the Help Line. Now that was fun. (sarcastic) Then he moved to Texas with his girlfriend to work at a BIG bank. Have emailed him to see if he is still there. Was so nice hearing from him.
Brought back good memories of our friendship. Thanks, Matt.

It's true...

The old saying goes something like this: it's good to be with friends to lift your morale. Today was my first day back to work since April. It truly felt good. I worked my 4 hours as planned and then later in p.m. went to see chiropractor for scheduled treatment.

Going for chemo in a.m. (if I pass the blood test. I'll be studying hard!)

Where did July go?

One week Tim went to soccer camp at the local College where I work.
Followed by a week at a Mission Conference held at the same College, and he stayed in the dorm. I only saw him when I brought him a fan 'cause he was hot.
Came home for one day, and left this past Sunday for his last Band Camp. This is where and when they learn the songs when they march/play at football games and at parades. They have to memorize the songs, no sheet music is ever used while playing.
It's held at a remote location I think so parents can't interfere.

And then they came home on Friday, unloaded off the bus and then continued to practice on home field. Then it was show time at 7 p.m. Barry and I went to see and we knew already from previous years that it was going to be a good performance. I am truly amazed at how much they learn in such a short time. They have a wonderful band conductor and staff. Barry took tons of pictures, I just have to locate them to blog them.

I return to work tomorrow in a part time status. My goal is to work 4 hours. But if I get tired I know now to leave. Last time I was there was April 10th, I remember that due to having chemo on April 11th. A lot has happened since then. I am truly thankful for the loving/caring support of this community and the people who take the time to read my journey online. As I said when I got out of the hospital, I've come a long way baby! And I intend to go even farther!

I am then off the next day for chemo if my blood counts are OK.

Am looking forward to being among friends...........lots of them.

Tim and the percussion group.

 

No pain relief

Had hoped to have some relief, but there is none. Perhaps it's too soon. Will be seeing chiropractor tomorrow p.m. to talk with him of the results.

I didn't realize she had dealt with breast cancer last year.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21350469/


I never realized until just now that Hoda Kotb, the co-anchor of the 3rd hour of Today show with Kathie Lee, was diagnosed with breast cancer in 07 and went through a mastectomy. If you check out the above link you will see the interview she did with Ann Curry on Today show in Oct. 07 which touched my heart.

Key things were mentioned by her that I agree with:

Don't hog your journey. Hence, my blog is how I deal with cancer. My life's an open book.

You can't scare me.

FORWARD.

Cancer survivors have clarity.


Take the time and check it out.

First visit to chiropractor today

I went and saw chiropractor this a.m. He did electro muscle stimulation on my shoulder area. Felt weird but relaxing, and lasted for 15 minutes. He then used a tool that resembled a rolling pin and rolled my "scapula" (unsure of spelling) where it is tight and sore. This hurt a bit and I hope it will work out in the long run. Area needed to be stretched. And lastly, he adjusted the top part of my back with a hammer like instrument, that lightly clicks/pushes the area he sees as having an issue. That didn't hurt at all. At one time he said to lie down on my stomach, I explained that has not happened since my chest resection in Nov. 2007. In fact I brought him all my medical papers I had to show my history. Have to show caution where the cement plate is in my chest.

Am hopeful these treatments work. Next one is this Friday p.m. Can't wait to feel relief.

CT Scan results..

Had chemo today and got my CT scan results: Not surprised that there was growth in lungs due to the months I was not given chemo due to brain tumor. Cancer got the upper hand then. The report makes note of 2 spots that both increased in size:
one was 5X8 mm and is now 7X10 mm and the other one increased from 4X4 mm to 13X17 mm.

My new treatment plan will be 2 weeks on chemo, followed by 1 week off. This is due to the fact I have never been able to get 3 treatments in anyway previously. A little adjustment is being made. I think in the long run I will be receiving more chemo.

I can't remember exactly how long she said it will be for the next CT scans. Too much input today. She also gave me a return back to work note for next Monday.

She did prescribe me ibuprofen 600 mg. for my shoulder/back that has been causing me daily problems. I don't believe I am doing this but I have an appt. with chiropractor tomorrow a.m. Am just grasping for some comfort. Like I said before, cancer (so far) I can deal with but shoulder/back I can't.

MRI Brain test results

This is exact quote from doctor:

good. 1 spot smaller, 1 stable which is good

-----------------------------------

First of all this is not what I had expected. I thought cyberknife was going to destroy the spot. I have since emailed him about this. In reading this I take it to mean I still have 2 spots in my brain, and I'm not sure if they are cancerous. And size isn't mentioned. And what if any is the next plan?

==========================================================================
I just got this email moments ago from doctor: 3:15 p.m.

No. The 1 was removed & we treated the area as a precaution, & the other spot we treated. The radiation works very slowly, so it does not disappear & there usually is some scar tissue, so often we will always see something there. The important thing is that it is not growing.

Off for Dr. Simon appt. and chemo

I have 11:30 a.m. appt. with oncologist. Then I'll hopefully get good news on CT scans of lungs/breast. And I will ask her to bring up MRI results and give me a copy for my records.

Don't know what's up, but I had diarrhea yesterday and just this morning. Perhaps it's from the contrast I had last Thursday from CT scans. Will ask Dr. Simon about it this a.m.

Tim's on the road again with band camp

This has been a busy month for Tim. Couple of weeks ago he was at soccer camp at the college. Last week he attended mission conference at the same place. He came home yesterday a.m. and left this afternoon for his last band camp week. He's now a senior. Hard to believe it. He was home long enough to cut our lawn and the neighbor's lawn. He'll be back Friday, but we can't see him until they perform at Meet the Band Night at the school. They learn so much during these days, learn to memorize marching songs and marching routines for football games. It amazes me.

I have a plan. Returning to work!

Just met with my bosses from college. I'm all set to return to work Aug. 4th. Looking forward to seeing everyone. Won't be doing my old job but a new one that will fit my situation. That was so nice of them to stop by as I was just thinking this week about returning to work. I have a plan now.

Randy Pausch dies at age of 47

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/25848017/

He was a Carnegie Mellon professor who became a overnight sensation when he did his Last Lecture in November. He died from pancreatic cancer. A true fighter,

A LONG Day as usual of testing.

I got picked up this a.m. at 11:15 by a friend Cathy. And didn't get home until 7:30 p.m. And after the tests we went to cafeteria and I got a slice of pizza that probably was under the heat lamp all day. But I was hungry.

MRI test took about 30 minutes, CT scans of chest and abdomen about 4 minutes. That's it. All the other time consisted of waiting, prepping (had to drink a lot of contrast for scans in 1 hr. and it's terrible tasting). But that's how it always is.
Nothing new.

Results should be available online for doctors to review in a day or two. I was unable to get to the appt. with radiation dr. due to all the delays. But they understood the process. He'll just review it online and give me a call. No need to go back for a visit.

As you can imagine, I'm pooped and sore from laying on 2 different tables today.
Will post results as soon as I know. Prayers are appreciated. As I've said in the past, out of my hands. Nothing I can do now.

MRI Brain/CT Scans chest/abdomen

I have a 1 p.m. appt. at Shadyside in Pittsburgh for the above tests. Won't have the results probably until I see my oncologist next Tuesday for next round of chemo.
Am praying that the weeks I was unable to receive chemo did not give the cancer the upper hand. It's just something I think about...

As my sister would say, please send positive energy my way today. I need it.
Thanks.

Welcome Maureen and Pat

Am so pleased to finally meet you (via blog). Funny how things work out. Timing is everything. I was just sitting there and your mom approached me. Something I usually do to others. It seems wherever I go I spread the word. Not for pity, but just to have others aware of cancer. Especially when we have hair on our head, people only assume when you are bald. I know, I've been there.

Now I have your blog on my desktop to read. I'm going to start from the beginning to get all the content.

Again, thanks for coming out from behind your keyboard.

Blood work

This a.m. I went for my blood work, no chemo, just blood work. And while waiting a woman who is dealing with cancer approached me and asked if I worked at the College. I said yes. She then mentioned that her daughter always reads my blog, ever since we had that article in New Castle Newspaper. Isn't it a small world. This woman at one time worked at I believe a snack counter at the college awhile ago.


I've lined up a ride to Pittsburgh for my appt. on Thursday at Shadyside. I'm taking a friend up on her offer while I was in the hospital, she said that if I ever needed a ride to an appt. to call her. And this was an apportunity. Thanks, Cathy.
I wouldn't feel comfortable driving that distance by myself. Having brain MRI and my other CT scans done. Busy day. Anxious day.

Spent some time with Jody and Patti today. Was nice to get out of the house.
PS. Took nap when I got home! I don't think a day passes by without a nap. Can't seem to get enough sleep.

Our God Is An Awesome God

I attended the Women of Faith Conference this weekend with local church. There was about 60 ladies on the bus trip. And about 10,000 at the arena. It was fantastic. Lots of laughing, crying, singing, thinking, and clapping. A little of everything. We couldn't fall asleep Friday night with all the information we listened to. As my sister said "lots of input." I am not able to fully describe the conference, but am looking forward to going back next year. Once you go, you will continue to go.

I had mentioned at dinner to the ladies I was with what brought me to the Baptist church. I explained I was going between the Baptist and Presbyterian church. And that Lisa P. had known I was looking for a church with upbeat Christian music. And I found that and more at both these churches. And the best thing is that come Sunday Tim asks me which church we're going to, unlike before. And I mentioned that my favorite song was Our God Is An Awesome God, and Nanette (pastor's wife) looked to her daughter and said "you've got a special request." I didn't realize her daughter was a singer. And then during the last hour of the conference yesterday, I was about to leave 'cause I was tired and sore. You know, God works in mysterious ways. I could hear the beginning music of the song, my favorite all-time song, and I jumped up and clapped my hands. Nanette put her arm on my shoulder and said this song was for me! With tears falling down my face I clapped to the song, and danced as if no one was watching me. Without inhibitions. It was great. Dreams due come true.

I met so many nice people, with lots of stories to tell. And I shared my story with anyone that would listen as I always do. Even gave out business cards with my blog information. It was one of those weekends that I will treasure, especially when I'm not feeling well.

So thanks Lisa P. (who was unable to attend due to not feeling well) for mentioning my name to the Pastor's wife Nanette. I am truly blessed and words can't fully explain how much.

Thanks for commenting

I want to say special thanks to Lisa, my FedEx driver for commenting on my blog. Am glad you explained who you were. That's so great that you took the time to look up my blog. I have another friend called Lisa. It was March 2005 that I was first diagnosed, and then a month later Barry got diagnosed with cancer. Mine only stayed away for 2 years and came back elsewhere. We're both fighting this together with the support of our family and friends.

I'm going to a conference tomorrow called Women in Faith with my Baptist friends. Really looking forward to it. My sister said that I truly fit that name of the group. I've been told you go through lots of tissues. It was actually Lisa who told me about it. We come back Saturday.

My shoulder was the best it's been today. Up until 1/2 hr. ago. That's progress.
Will be in a room with lots of people praying next couple of days. Can't beat that.

PS. Just made up business cards promoting my blog to give out at convention if needed.

No chemo today...

due to low white blood cells. Sort of figured that would happen. Last week it was just below the borderline, and I figured that by getting chemo it was only going to get lower. And I was right. No wonder I've been tired. What else is new?

Quote from Ann's blog...

"The will of God will never take you where the grace of God will not protect you."

I thought this was a good one, so I am also using it. Off to get blood test, followed by chemo hopefully.

Studied for my test

Have "studied" for my blood test in preparation for chemo tomorrow a.m. Am hoping I pass it. That would make my first complete cycle of treatment.

Back of my shoulder/backside has been causing me pain today. Not sure what's up.

3rd day- a change

My shoulder no longer has that pain, now it's sort of a tired feeling along with being weighted down feeling a bit. Discomfort rt. rear shoulder blade for some reason (back). At least it's better. Able to lift it by itself, same mobility as when I was having therapy.

2 days- Pain remains

I've been told by some that it could take 2-3 days. So I'm waiting one more day for a miracle, some relief from my shoulder.

Pain update-still there

Shoulder pain has been reduced somewhat, pain has moved down my arm. Also woke up with some pain in my hip. Don't know what that's all about. Maureen suggested ice pack in the area where the injection was. I think it helped. But ice pack melted so was unable to do the new area down on my arm. Headed to do that now. Still painful to lift.

update 10:25 p.m.

Pain did leave my hip area, must have been a fluke. Pain continues to be issue, different kind of pain. Difficult to lift my arm without the help of the other arm. Was able to do that before. Did use ice packs today. Am going to call orthopedic doctor in a.m. It was his nurse that said 24 hrs. for relief, never did ask him directly. Am hoping it could take 2-3 days like rehab. dr. said in the past. I just can't win. Not feeling the tugging feeling anymore on my shoulder.

Worth listening to...

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=92374390

It's an interview done yesterday with Leroy Sievers and Elizabeth Edwards, Talk of the Nation. I've been following Leroy's blog for past 2 1/2 years, and most recent scan shows cancer throughout his body. Brain, lungs and spine are just a few of the areas.

Take the time to listen and to perhaps read his blog. Very honest interview.

Orthopedic dr. this a.m.

Saw orthopedic dr. this a.m. Said tendinitis in shoulder, gave me another cortisone shot. Told him I already had 2 about 2 weeks ago from rehab dr. Explained to me that he knows anatomy better and that he is confident about location to give me shot, especially by looking at MRI.

24 hrs. I should feel relief. Sure do hope so. Been a long 2 months living this way. Bad enough dealing with chemo.

Going to lie down.

Chemo- made it 2 times in a row

Long a.m. 'cause my blood work showed white blood cells right beneath the margin. Had to wait for dr.'s approval to proceed. Honestly, I was hoping she would say no to chemo. Just anticipating the coming week, if today it's just below the margin, what is this treatment going to do to my body?

Have scheduled an appt. tomorrow a.m. with orthopedic doctor to review yesterday's MRI shoulder.

Off to bed. A long day so far, and it's not only 1 p.m.!

Tests done this morning

Had MRI right shoulder and neck: radiologist preliminary report/looks like arthritis and pinched nerve in neck area.
Bone scan: shows area where I had brain surgery/area where I had chest plate

Recommends these results be taken to Pittsburgh for next CT scans July 24 for further exploration. His report will be faxed to oncologist and I will talk to her tomorrow if I pass my blood test/get chemo. From what I briefly found on internet, fatigue is symptom along with pain from arthritis. And there are so many types of arthritis, would need to know more. Will ask for copy of the final report to see what is actually written. I don't spend much time on computer 'cause of the constant pain I'm in. I sure do hope I find a resolution. The cortisone shots didn't touch the pain.

Where does the time go

I'm happy to report that this cycle of chemo I didn't experience any flu-like symptoms!
I continue to have discomfort in my right shoulder area. Am hoping something shows up with the tests I am having tomorrow, as it continues to be an issue. Just give me a diagnosis and I'll be happy. Even in typing a small amount on the computer, it hurts so much.
Tim's taking me to the Diagnostic center in the a.m. for MRIs and bone scan of the areas.

Another cycle of chemo

I'm on another cycle of chemo. Plus I mentioned to the oncologist the pain I've been experiencing in my shoulder area. She's set up an MRI on the shoulder, along with a bone scan. These tests see so much more than just an x-ray I recently had.
Am going on Monday a.m. for these tests. I didn't feel any relief from the cortisone shots. She also said it was "normal" not to be able to get this treatment on each of the 3 scheduled weeks. Truly does effect white blood cells. Quite common to go every other week.