Friday, March 06, 2009
The boss arrives in less than 24 hrs.!
Yes, Maureen arrives here tomorrow morning. Am so excited. Will have both of my sisters here at same time.
Off to take some pix to finally post! So check back later to see them.
Off to take some pix to finally post! So check back later to see them.
Thursday, March 05, 2009
What a day. Pain level is about a 3
As Amy left the house, I yelled to her to say that my pain level was about a 3. That is success in itself.
We even went out for Chinese food for lunch, followed by a nap, and then to Tim's chorus concert. And after all of these years playing the flute, it finally paid off with a solo. Couldn't take pix 'cause the lighting is always off. But the image will remain in my head for as long as I live.
And yes, I did shed some tears. Tears of joy for his accomplishment. Good tears. It was the first time Barry was able to see him in the chorus, plus Eileen also went.
One thing I forgot to talk about. Eileen took me to do errands this a.m. Banks and meds, just the normal. And then I had something pop into my head. Unplanned. I went to the college where I used to work and said hi to my old dept. Couldn't leave before also saying hi to the Prez. and Joe Ann. And I even got a bonus when I went to get my car. A parking ticket! from the college security. As I was going to go back and give the ticket to the Prez., a friend from Admissions Office took it from me and said she would take care of it. I don't sweat the small stuff. All these greetings to my friends made for a nice nap today.
No hospice until Tuesday when the "boss" Maureen will be here to meet her. I thought it would be nice having them introduce themselves to each other since both are R.N.'s.
Calvin, it was nice seeing you tonight. And thanks for caring so much. For a kid you're very caring and it's a pleasure to have met you.
PSS Mary Lou-Is that you in Anguilla! Where's your swimsuit?
We even went out for Chinese food for lunch, followed by a nap, and then to Tim's chorus concert. And after all of these years playing the flute, it finally paid off with a solo. Couldn't take pix 'cause the lighting is always off. But the image will remain in my head for as long as I live.
And yes, I did shed some tears. Tears of joy for his accomplishment. Good tears. It was the first time Barry was able to see him in the chorus, plus Eileen also went.
One thing I forgot to talk about. Eileen took me to do errands this a.m. Banks and meds, just the normal. And then I had something pop into my head. Unplanned. I went to the college where I used to work and said hi to my old dept. Couldn't leave before also saying hi to the Prez. and Joe Ann. And I even got a bonus when I went to get my car. A parking ticket! from the college security. As I was going to go back and give the ticket to the Prez., a friend from Admissions Office took it from me and said she would take care of it. I don't sweat the small stuff. All these greetings to my friends made for a nice nap today.
No hospice until Tuesday when the "boss" Maureen will be here to meet her. I thought it would be nice having them introduce themselves to each other since both are R.N.'s.
Calvin, it was nice seeing you tonight. And thanks for caring so much. For a kid you're very caring and it's a pleasure to have met you.
PSS Mary Lou-Is that you in Anguilla! Where's your swimsuit?
Pain has been reduced and am very thankful..
Amy just left. She's my hospice R.N. Took some pix and will put them on my blog by the end of the day. (believe me). Yesterday she made up a written list of drugs and the times I should be taking them. I only had to add one breakthrough med during the day and I was fine. I did not take that pill in time, the pain had got ahead of me. But you learn from your mistakes.
So for the first time in many months, my pain has been significantly reduced! Some people would say it's a higher pain level, but I seem to tolerate it more and have got used to it. I am so thankful to Amy for working on getting this under control. Sometimes it's just a matter of taking the time and trying things out. Simple thing to do, just takes time.
It's a nice sunny day here. Already 46 degrees at 10 a.m. About to head out to do errands with Barry and Eileen. Tonight we head to chorus concert where Tim will perform a solo on the flute!
Lisa P.-am sure to be medicated so as to be comfortable for the concert. Don't want it to be like the band banquet and figedty (not sure of spelling).
Til later.
So for the first time in many months, my pain has been significantly reduced! Some people would say it's a higher pain level, but I seem to tolerate it more and have got used to it. I am so thankful to Amy for working on getting this under control. Sometimes it's just a matter of taking the time and trying things out. Simple thing to do, just takes time.
It's a nice sunny day here. Already 46 degrees at 10 a.m. About to head out to do errands with Barry and Eileen. Tonight we head to chorus concert where Tim will perform a solo on the flute!
Lisa P.-am sure to be medicated so as to be comfortable for the concert. Don't want it to be like the band banquet and figedty (not sure of spelling).
Til later.
Wednesday, March 04, 2009
Last night all of us went to Tim's last band banquet. The banquet was nice. Took some pix of Tim and his friends, which you will soon see. I stuck to my guns and never mentioned pain in yesterday's blog. But at the banquet it was back in full steam. And of course I didn't taken anything for it before we left. My right arm area was so uncomfortable, had to feed myself with the left hand to make it easy. The ride home was the longest, and then I immediately popped a pain pill. Was in bed by 11 p.m.
Got up at 8 a.m. when the R.N. Amy from Hospice came for our appt. We went over what pills I had taken, trying to come up with the right recipe. Per my primary doctor I am doubling up on the main pain killer twice a day, and she wrote on a piece of paper a schedule to follow throughout the day with other pills. And in between pills as needed there are other meds I can take. Hard to imagine that this was just her 2nd week here. We are heading into the right direction. Within the hour of doubling up on the one med before she left, Eileen noticed that facial expression had calmed down. Not as tense. Remember this is Hospice's goal: maintain pain control for quality of life. This afternoon I did need to take a "break through" med 'cause I was in a bit of discomfort. For me, it's much easier to follow a note with the times to take pills is clearly written. PS Amy, thanks for reading my blog!
The company that deals with delivering oxygen for Hospice brought their tank to us shortly after Amy left. Very similar. It's just that since I'm under their care they want to have control of it. No problem with me.
Once again, I got mucho grando cards in the mail today. More than if it was a holiday. Am so happy. I had Eileen take pix as I was opening them. Tomorrow I will line up all my flowers to have picture taken of me and them.
Starting next week Amy will stop by once a week, but with a phone call she will be here at a drop of a dime. We're hoping that we get a right recipe for pain management. I did find out that she can request a pain patch via my primary doctor as an option. Plus we have my double port to use. They will also flush my port monthly. It's nice having someone to be your advocate through difficult times.
One more thing. Ronee C. stopped by with this huge card which the little kids at the Presby
Church made for me. Sort of a paper quilt. Very nice of them and the college kids to make for me. I continue to love this community.
Well, that's it for now.
PS The College where I worked sent me a beautiful plant along with a CD stating birthday greetings. I just listened to it. Here are some comments: Anyone wants to visit me, that would be great. Just call a day ahead as I don't know how I will feel the next day. Love company.
And yes, went to store today and bought a chocolate cake and chocolate frosting. Already had ice cream and toppings delivered yesterday. One more thing: Rick, you have such a great voice.
That's why I like sitting next to you in church. You make me sound so much better than I am!
Perhaps Sunday both my sisters will be able to come to church to see first hand what I am seeing. That would be heaven.
Got up at 8 a.m. when the R.N. Amy from Hospice came for our appt. We went over what pills I had taken, trying to come up with the right recipe. Per my primary doctor I am doubling up on the main pain killer twice a day, and she wrote on a piece of paper a schedule to follow throughout the day with other pills. And in between pills as needed there are other meds I can take. Hard to imagine that this was just her 2nd week here. We are heading into the right direction. Within the hour of doubling up on the one med before she left, Eileen noticed that facial expression had calmed down. Not as tense. Remember this is Hospice's goal: maintain pain control for quality of life. This afternoon I did need to take a "break through" med 'cause I was in a bit of discomfort. For me, it's much easier to follow a note with the times to take pills is clearly written. PS Amy, thanks for reading my blog!
The company that deals with delivering oxygen for Hospice brought their tank to us shortly after Amy left. Very similar. It's just that since I'm under their care they want to have control of it. No problem with me.
Once again, I got mucho grando cards in the mail today. More than if it was a holiday. Am so happy. I had Eileen take pix as I was opening them. Tomorrow I will line up all my flowers to have picture taken of me and them.
Starting next week Amy will stop by once a week, but with a phone call she will be here at a drop of a dime. We're hoping that we get a right recipe for pain management. I did find out that she can request a pain patch via my primary doctor as an option. Plus we have my double port to use. They will also flush my port monthly. It's nice having someone to be your advocate through difficult times.
One more thing. Ronee C. stopped by with this huge card which the little kids at the Presby
Church made for me. Sort of a paper quilt. Very nice of them and the college kids to make for me. I continue to love this community.
Well, that's it for now.
PS The College where I worked sent me a beautiful plant along with a CD stating birthday greetings. I just listened to it. Here are some comments: Anyone wants to visit me, that would be great. Just call a day ahead as I don't know how I will feel the next day. Love company.
And yes, went to store today and bought a chocolate cake and chocolate frosting. Already had ice cream and toppings delivered yesterday. One more thing: Rick, you have such a great voice.
That's why I like sitting next to you in church. You make me sound so much better than I am!
Perhaps Sunday both my sisters will be able to come to church to see first hand what I am seeing. That would be heaven.
Tuesday, March 03, 2009
March 3 and it's my BIRTHDAY
Yes, I love birthdays. Especially since I was first diagnosed with the C word. No bad words today.
I want to tell you that my sister's plane has left Providence on time this a.m. Has a 2 1/2 hr delay in Philly and arrives here at 2 p.m. I can't wait. Nice and sunny here, just cold.
I received so many comments this week, along with cards and just words of comfort. I appreciate each one of them. And to think that some are from Ann L. support blog (another survivor/fighter) and my sister Maureen telling her workers, all made for so many good wishes.
Thanks! Keep them coming..
PS Over 38000 people have viewed my blog since last April! Wowee..
I want to tell you that my sister's plane has left Providence on time this a.m. Has a 2 1/2 hr delay in Philly and arrives here at 2 p.m. I can't wait. Nice and sunny here, just cold.
I received so many comments this week, along with cards and just words of comfort. I appreciate each one of them. And to think that some are from Ann L. support blog (another survivor/fighter) and my sister Maureen telling her workers, all made for so many good wishes.
Thanks! Keep them coming..
PS Over 38000 people have viewed my blog since last April! Wowee..
'HAPPY BIRTHDAY JANE'
I just read in the paper that today also in history besides your birth on March 3rd-that "The Star-Spangled Banner" became the national anthem and Alexander Graham Bell was born-wow three important happenings!!! Enjoy the day to all and lets start a Happy Birthday Celebration Wave!!!!!!!!!!!! adios moe
Sunday, March 01, 2009
Eileen's visit being delayed due to snow storm
Eileen just called to tell me that she won't be here tomorrow. East coast expecting a Nor'Easter, up to 15 inches of snow. NYC and Boston are being hit. So she'll hopefully just be delayed one day which will be my actual birthday.
Talking about birthdays. I met Lisa H. when I entered the church and gave her my usual hug.
She reads my blog so she knew what happenings were going to please me this week. After the prayers for people who are ill/having surgery/or just lost their job she had the congregation sing "Happy Birthday to Jane Kaminske." I don't know about you but I have never heard that happen before during a service. So many people approached me afterwards to personnally wish me a Happy Birthday. Plus she mentioned it was our anniversary on the 8th. Now this was a special day, one of many. Little things-mean so much bigger when you are dealing with illness or anything difficult.
Well, day after tomorrow will be so special now. Eileen arrives in time for an actual birthday hug. Can't wait.
Talking about birthdays. I met Lisa H. when I entered the church and gave her my usual hug.
She reads my blog so she knew what happenings were going to please me this week. After the prayers for people who are ill/having surgery/or just lost their job she had the congregation sing "Happy Birthday to Jane Kaminske." I don't know about you but I have never heard that happen before during a service. So many people approached me afterwards to personnally wish me a Happy Birthday. Plus she mentioned it was our anniversary on the 8th. Now this was a special day, one of many. Little things-mean so much bigger when you are dealing with illness or anything difficult.
Well, day after tomorrow will be so special now. Eileen arrives in time for an actual birthday hug. Can't wait.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Thanks to all for your support
Believe me when I say this, it took me over 1 hour to read all the comments on this blog the other day. And I wanted to thank each one of you who read and/or commented this blog. So many new people/friends sent such inspiring words. From my niece Stephanie with the simple words "I love you Aunt Jane' to a person I worked with many years ago Renee. And I can't miss out on Calvin, my Valentine Angel who took the time to bring over a card along with a crocheted green rope that he made for me, symbolizing my strength as I go this new journey. And I have received many cards in the mail (much thanks to my sister's crew at her hospital). I am especially overwhelmed. Every comment brought a tear as I read them. Good tears as I am so inspired and thankful to all of you.
I was in a bit of pain today. Now I'm going to replace a pill I took last night, with another. Trying to find a good recipe. Day 2 of the decadron. Am praying that is my solution. I do think I will make it to church. Such positive energy there for me. I'ts only 90 minutes.
Busy and great week(s) are on their way. Eileen arrives March 2 via airplane, and my BIRTHDAY is March 3. I have always enjoyed my birthdays, but ever since being diagnosed with Cancer ever so much. You get a deep appreciation for the little things around you. And then "Moe" the boss arrives. And as you may know our anniversary is March 8.
Alot of social happenings coming that include Tim. On my birthday his band banquet will be held. I play it day by day on how I'm feeling. So, up in the air for that. And later in the week he's doing a flute solo in a chorus. He's the only one that will be doing that. Am very proud of him. Not the perfect person, but who is? The way I look at it, if you take the time to care for a person that's what matters.
Enough for now. Check back tomorrow. And continue to pray for my symptoms to calm down.
I just feel better knowing that I am not getting any more poison into my system. And I do expect to look forward to seeing Tim in his musical at the end of the month or when he does his solo on the flute. And for once in his lifetime, Barry can see him in all.
I was in a bit of pain today. Now I'm going to replace a pill I took last night, with another. Trying to find a good recipe. Day 2 of the decadron. Am praying that is my solution. I do think I will make it to church. Such positive energy there for me. I'ts only 90 minutes.
Busy and great week(s) are on their way. Eileen arrives March 2 via airplane, and my BIRTHDAY is March 3. I have always enjoyed my birthdays, but ever since being diagnosed with Cancer ever so much. You get a deep appreciation for the little things around you. And then "Moe" the boss arrives. And as you may know our anniversary is March 8.
Alot of social happenings coming that include Tim. On my birthday his band banquet will be held. I play it day by day on how I'm feeling. So, up in the air for that. And later in the week he's doing a flute solo in a chorus. He's the only one that will be doing that. Am very proud of him. Not the perfect person, but who is? The way I look at it, if you take the time to care for a person that's what matters.
Enough for now. Check back tomorrow. And continue to pray for my symptoms to calm down.
I just feel better knowing that I am not getting any more poison into my system. And I do expect to look forward to seeing Tim in his musical at the end of the month or when he does his solo on the flute. And for once in his lifetime, Barry can see him in all.
Race against cancer car......
Roger took this so I could put on blog. This is the Foxwood's car that races at Thompson. Can't wait to see you Monday...Love you all
Please work for me decadron. Not expecting a miracle, but will accept it.
The decadron seems to be working, so I am going to continue to be promising. It was done originially by IV which is quicker than pill form. Now its a matter of trying to find what works/doesn't work. Last night out of desperation I took 3 pills that I had not taken in a while.
Now to undo what I did. I have a chart to follow.My pain returned at about 9-10 pm.
A hospice RN Amy worked with me today. Each day they are coming I can give them my shopping list of health drinks and puddings, to build my system up. Taste good.
And one of my blogger buddies knows my hostice called Wendy. Small world. Very nice.
Lots to update you on, but I have lots of time.
Now to undo what I did. I have a chart to follow.My pain returned at about 9-10 pm.
A hospice RN Amy worked with me today. Each day they are coming I can give them my shopping list of health drinks and puddings, to build my system up. Taste good.
And one of my blogger buddies knows my hostice called Wendy. Small world. Very nice.
Lots to update you on, but I have lots of time.
Friday, February 27, 2009
a sneek peek as jane will blog!!
and there is a god and some prayers have been answered as the pain is a little less today!! the cards are starting to roll in!! enjoy the day!! adios moe
Thursday, February 26, 2009
BARRY SAYS "JANE HAD LOTS OF PAIN TODAY"
I just had a chat with Barry and he said Jane had lots of pain today and was asleep at this time. A hospice member had come to the house this pm and brought some DECADRON for Jane to take-she was on top of the world when she took before!! Hopefully it will kick in and get rid of some of the pain too. Jane basically hangs out in the house. She also has coughing fits where she might cough up blood. Last night when I spoke to her she had a spell of the coughing. Well off for now and hopefully we will see her post later-it might take her a while as i think she has been getting lots of emails. I know I have sent her lots of my friends thoughts. Well please get to work Mr. Decadron and put Jane on top of the world as she should be!! good night moe p.s. jane's taste coming back and me and others had realized today that is was not a chemo day-weird after talking about chemo the last 4 years almost. I was sad but also relieved that she would not feel so bad as the treatment couple weeks ago.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Hospice makes a visit today.
Never in a hundred years would I think I would be writing about hospice for myself. I always admired those people, called them angels on earth.
Too much happened today, my mind is a blur. They will provide me ensure and boost plus, which is something I drink daily. I will have to use their own oxygen, no problem there. Can provide me with anything I will need, now and in the future.
A nurse will stop by 1-2 times a week to check up on me. Wendy and Lisa were today's visitors. Wendy was R.N. and Lisa Case Worker. Their main concern is pain management. If I could have the pain under controlled that would be great.
And yes,, my sisters will be coming. So looking forward to seeing them. I think it was a surprise but the cat is now out of the box.
Hospice is right on my case. Had already contacted oncologist for my records. I have canceled tomorrows appt. with her and told her next week I would reschedule, just to say good bye.
Too much happened today, my mind is a blur. They will provide me ensure and boost plus, which is something I drink daily. I will have to use their own oxygen, no problem there. Can provide me with anything I will need, now and in the future.
A nurse will stop by 1-2 times a week to check up on me. Wendy and Lisa were today's visitors. Wendy was R.N. and Lisa Case Worker. Their main concern is pain management. If I could have the pain under controlled that would be great.
And yes,, my sisters will be coming. So looking forward to seeing them. I think it was a surprise but the cat is now out of the box.
Hospice is right on my case. Had already contacted oncologist for my records. I have canceled tomorrows appt. with her and told her next week I would reschedule, just to say good bye.
'DATES TO CELEBRATE'
hey mr. postman!!! a little birdie told me that Jane is having a 53rd birthday this tuesday March 3rd and that Jane and Barry have a 29th wedding anniversary March 8th!! Jane is just heading upstairs to read her blog!!! u go jane and lug the oxygen with u if u need to!! adios as usual moe
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
'HOSPICE IS THE NEXT JOURNEY'
I am crying as I write this for Jane,Barry,and Tim. I just spoke to Barry in regards to today's happenings. I did know decisions were to be made by Jane in regards to deciding on further chemo treatment this week. In one email to me she had mentioned this last chemo hit had knocked some of her SPIRIT out-wow oh wow!! Inside my heart i sort of figured she would not do further treatment as she is so exhausted mentally and physically. Barry had said that after todays appointment with family physician the plan would be antibiotics to prevent pneumonia and to proceed with Hospice Care and no more chemo. The appointment will be tomorrow morning with Hospice and decisions will be made as a family. Jane was sleeping when I called but at end of conversation had come down stairs and I could hear her crying that she could not talk now but I did for a few seconds. Barry did tell her that Eileen is coming monday the 2nd and I am coming the 7th and I could hear her saying in background I am so glad they are coming. They will be seeing the Cancer md this week still. Very interesting in looking up the meaning of Hospice at this time-a shelter for travelers!! Let us all help her thru this next journey with the dignity and pride she has always shown. P.S. Dad knows the plan!! Love u lots and can't wait to see u soon!! adios moe People I have cared for with cancer never have really worried about themselves, they worry about those they will leave behind! I told Barry to expect some mail!
Monday, February 23, 2009
Awards show
Even though I had not gone to movies in over a year, I watched awards show. Every single minute. I was routing for Slumdog Millionaire and it won for Best Picture. I love an underdog. And of course it was the last award given.
That's it. Losing my hair just by touching it. Don't even have to pull on it. Taking it day by day, may need to give myself a buzz cut eventually.
PS Any one know when the Band Banquet is?
That's it. Losing my hair just by touching it. Don't even have to pull on it. Taking it day by day, may need to give myself a buzz cut eventually.
PS Any one know when the Band Banquet is?
Friday, February 20, 2009
2 weeks and I see a light at the end of the tunnel.
Yes, I did have 3 friends visit with me. Brought me laughter, joy and a few tears. All of which are OK. And I drank 2 Boost Plus energy drinks during the day. My appetite is not as good as it used to be. Most things taste like cardboard. About the only thing that I find is good is plain jello and ice cream, not together. The cancer center gave me the energy drinks when I asked for them yesterday. And last evening I felt better than I had in a long time.
And it seems I am losing some hair. Yes, a side effect. Have never been bald in cold weather. Not shaving it off yet. Will give it some time. Perhaps just buzz it short, not totally off.
Yes, chemo is scheduled for next Thursday. Am not sure what is going to happen then. Perhaps reduce the amount of chemo I get or just stop it cause of the side effects which took a lot of my spirit away. Time will tell, once I converse with oncologist I will make my own personal question.. And yes, it will be a personal question.
And it seems I am losing some hair. Yes, a side effect. Have never been bald in cold weather. Not shaving it off yet. Will give it some time. Perhaps just buzz it short, not totally off.
Yes, chemo is scheduled for next Thursday. Am not sure what is going to happen then. Perhaps reduce the amount of chemo I get or just stop it cause of the side effects which took a lot of my spirit away. Time will tell, once I converse with oncologist I will make my own personal question.. And yes, it will be a personal question.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
JUST SPOKE TO JANE IN THE BAT CAVE AS I CALL IT!!
Don't we all remember the bat cave days when Jane first went thru the chemo-it seems years ago doesn't it. Sometimes I want to throw up when I don't see a posting when I get home. I coul not wait another day so I called her now. EVERYTHING IS AOK WHEN SHE ANSWERED THE PHONE!!! She said the blood work today is FINE. She says she is getting there with the taste-the other day said with the throw up stuff etc from last week-had no taste so why would someone eat? Did mention to her that there were 16 or so comments posted from her last post. I had just woken her up but was excited to tell me some people were going to visit her!!! whoever it is if u get a picture of u and her please go for it and someone can post!!! Hang tough u Kaminske's. adios moe
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
No growth
Barry's results-No growth. He continues to be in pain, can't understand that. I know first hand about feeling pain and medically nothing shows up. Very frustrating.
Monday, February 16, 2009
Today's sermon- Thanks Lisa H. You are a dear friend.
LOVE CUBED LEADERSHIP
This is the place where leadership begins. Leadership begins even from that place where you feel ‘cubed’ in.
Then it continues with love.
Leadership can begin even when you feel cubed in.
Love that perhaps, has hit the wall. But in the midst of that circumstance, it is multiplied by the love of God.
Visiting Jane Kaminske this week, she had hit a wall.
Combination of chemo and another shot to rebuild her bones, ached with head to toe pain. Nothing she could do to get comfortable.
When she called, I could tell she felt cubed in.
But then we talked about love. Love for Tim. Love for Barry. Love for this church and community. The love of God which she hears as the stream in front of her house trickles by even in winter.
In the midst of this life circumstance, she is witness to that love – and offers leadership of love to the third degree on her blog.
With all of her heart, all her mind, all her soul – she puts herself out there – so that others may find peace and comfort.
We walked upstairs to her third floor. She showed me how the blog all works. She showed me this cool mechanism called a ‘sitecounter’ that allows her to track how many visits she has had since April. It even tells her where in the world, people were reading her blog. When we logged on, a reader was on in Texas and in New York and in New Castle.
Does anyone know how many visitors she has had on her blog since April?
Almost 35,000.
Now that might be 100 visitors, every day of the year.
But still, that is love cubed leadership.
With all her heart, all her soul, all her might – her love for God is being revealed daily in a way that leads other to that place of peace as well.
Exponential increase.
Even when she feels cubed in.
Love to the third degree.
Love cubed leadership.
If we want to be multiply and be fruitful,
For our children and for our children’s children –
We begin with love.
If you want to move into the promised land,
If you want to be the leadership for the next generation,
You begin with love.
That is the starting place for us as a church.
So that when we breath in scripture, and breath out service –
That first breath of scripture is informed by Mark 12 –
Which takes these words from the Shema –
When Jesus is asked, what is the greatest commandment?
To love the Lord our God with all our heart, soul and might.
Starting with that scripture, will call forth leadership in our service.
And the multiplication of all that love, heart, mind, soul, will lead to infinity and then, beyond.
Amen.
This is the place where leadership begins. Leadership begins even from that place where you feel ‘cubed’ in.
Then it continues with love.
Leadership can begin even when you feel cubed in.
Love that perhaps, has hit the wall. But in the midst of that circumstance, it is multiplied by the love of God.
Visiting Jane Kaminske this week, she had hit a wall.
Combination of chemo and another shot to rebuild her bones, ached with head to toe pain. Nothing she could do to get comfortable.
When she called, I could tell she felt cubed in.
But then we talked about love. Love for Tim. Love for Barry. Love for this church and community. The love of God which she hears as the stream in front of her house trickles by even in winter.
In the midst of this life circumstance, she is witness to that love – and offers leadership of love to the third degree on her blog.
With all of her heart, all her mind, all her soul – she puts herself out there – so that others may find peace and comfort.
We walked upstairs to her third floor. She showed me how the blog all works. She showed me this cool mechanism called a ‘sitecounter’ that allows her to track how many visits she has had since April. It even tells her where in the world, people were reading her blog. When we logged on, a reader was on in Texas and in New York and in New Castle.
Does anyone know how many visitors she has had on her blog since April?
Almost 35,000.
Now that might be 100 visitors, every day of the year.
But still, that is love cubed leadership.
With all her heart, all her soul, all her might – her love for God is being revealed daily in a way that leads other to that place of peace as well.
Exponential increase.
Even when she feels cubed in.
Love to the third degree.
Love cubed leadership.
If we want to be multiply and be fruitful,
For our children and for our children’s children –
We begin with love.
If you want to move into the promised land,
If you want to be the leadership for the next generation,
You begin with love.
That is the starting place for us as a church.
So that when we breath in scripture, and breath out service –
That first breath of scripture is informed by Mark 12 –
Which takes these words from the Shema –
When Jesus is asked, what is the greatest commandment?
To love the Lord our God with all our heart, soul and might.
Starting with that scripture, will call forth leadership in our service.
And the multiplication of all that love, heart, mind, soul, will lead to infinity and then, beyond.
Amen.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Nausea is back
Never had nausea up until now. Filled script Th. with only 3 pills, and I used last one today. Barry has some I will use for the weekend. Has happened twice, this p.m. most recent. Tossed up my lunch, then took a pill. Continued with heaves till night. Am drinking gingerale and Tim has made me jello. Do need something in my stomach for pain relief. My slight fever is back, like it was a week ago aches/pains/feel shitty. Hurts to cry so I try to limit it. I've got a slight headache.
Eyes even hurt.
Hope tonight passes by fast. It sucks to be in pain. Have always said there is worse thing in life than pain.
I only hope and ask that once I leave this earth one of my sisters takes the time to publish this blog. That is my dream. And I ask that when I go see my Father there is a posting to share with my followers that explains what has happened. I've been meaning to write this for a while and now I've got one less thing in the bucket list.
PS I got new toilet today for Valentines Day. I needed a higher seat for disability. Never thought I would be getting that.
Am attempting to get something in my stomach so I can take meds. I can't wait to be without pain.
Cause I dont' say it much, I do love my Barry and son Tim so much. They have been my inspiration, along with my sisters and brother. And don't forget the whole town/community.
I'm so tired. But I do feel blessed. Do not fear for someone is waiting for us.
Eyes even hurt.
Hope tonight passes by fast. It sucks to be in pain. Have always said there is worse thing in life than pain.
I only hope and ask that once I leave this earth one of my sisters takes the time to publish this blog. That is my dream. And I ask that when I go see my Father there is a posting to share with my followers that explains what has happened. I've been meaning to write this for a while and now I've got one less thing in the bucket list.
PS I got new toilet today for Valentines Day. I needed a higher seat for disability. Never thought I would be getting that.
Am attempting to get something in my stomach so I can take meds. I can't wait to be without pain.
Cause I dont' say it much, I do love my Barry and son Tim so much. They have been my inspiration, along with my sisters and brother. And don't forget the whole town/community.
I'm so tired. But I do feel blessed. Do not fear for someone is waiting for us.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Barry has CT Scans tomorrow!
Barry heads to Cancer Center in Pittsburgh for his 3 months CT scans. Please keep him in your prayers as he heads to this appt. That would be great!
Picture of Tim and Mom. Thanks.
Thanks for the person who posted my favorite picture of Tim and Mom. Angel.
Went for weekly blood work this a.m. First time out since last Friday. Was able to talk to nurse who administered my chemo. I am that office's first chemo patient using that new drug. She works at another office and there are a few other people that are on the drug. I asked for symptoms, 50/50 with and without a symptom. As she said and I agreed there are so many types of cancer, even breast cancer, too many variables. No two people are alike.
I have to say today is a better day. Legs don't ache as much. Turning point. Around the bend the road is leading me. She doesn't know if it's the chemo or the drug for bones. Asked if the ache was muscle or bone? Unsure. Just know that it hurt like heck. One week done, 2 to go!
Went for weekly blood work this a.m. First time out since last Friday. Was able to talk to nurse who administered my chemo. I am that office's first chemo patient using that new drug. She works at another office and there are a few other people that are on the drug. I asked for symptoms, 50/50 with and without a symptom. As she said and I agreed there are so many types of cancer, even breast cancer, too many variables. No two people are alike.
I have to say today is a better day. Legs don't ache as much. Turning point. Around the bend the road is leading me. She doesn't know if it's the chemo or the drug for bones. Asked if the ache was muscle or bone? Unsure. Just know that it hurt like heck. One week done, 2 to go!
A Happy Birthday to Mom and Tim
Consider this a internet Hallmark greeting so the whole world knows it's your special day.
And if you take the time to follow my blog, please take an extra second to post a greeting to two people who are special in my life.
I thank you.
Bev R-Who is rick? that you spoke of. Flynn? Picture in paper.
And if you take the time to follow my blog, please take an extra second to post a greeting to two people who are special in my life.
I thank you.
Bev R-Who is rick? that you spoke of. Flynn? Picture in paper.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
A bit better
Compared to past weekend I'm a lot better. Can't truly explain how achey I was and still continue to be. But my blog continues to give me strength, comments of encouragement. Lasted much longer this time around, as compared to 2005. By Monday(chemo same day as this time) I was back to work with bad headache. Aches were nothing like this. And to think everytime I have chemo it will be followed by this horendous aches/pain/hell. As they say, if cancer doesn't kill you the treatment will.
Today I felt better. There is no med that I take that takes the pain away. That's how bad the pain is. Am hoping tomorrow is the turning point as far as the pain goes. My right shoulder, under neath each shoulder and both breasts cause me the most pain. If anyone knows about nursing babies I can tell you it's like being engorged (breasts about to explode). Only difference is there is no milk there. Just heavy duty pain.
Off to bed. Again thanks to Lisa H for getting me up to 3rd flr. to post! And to everyone else,
Feb. 12th is Tim's and Mom's birthday. Mark your calendar.
Today I felt better. There is no med that I take that takes the pain away. That's how bad the pain is. Am hoping tomorrow is the turning point as far as the pain goes. My right shoulder, under neath each shoulder and both breasts cause me the most pain. If anyone knows about nursing babies I can tell you it's like being engorged (breasts about to explode). Only difference is there is no milk there. Just heavy duty pain.
Off to bed. Again thanks to Lisa H for getting me up to 3rd flr. to post! And to everyone else,
Feb. 12th is Tim's and Mom's birthday. Mark your calendar.
'LAST TWO DAYS THE PITS!!!!!!!!'
a quick hello with the above comment, but I am feeling better today! I have never had the aches as bad as these. Mentioned the deadline for application for college aid for Tim and Becky had contacted guidance counselor-thanks-who called Jane at home and tomorrow am someone from the college is coming to the house to help do the paperwork to get things rolling!! I can't imagine worrying about all that junk with worrying about feeling better to0. She has been using the oxygen-sounded a little short of breath. I told her the cancer sucks plaque was a 13 comment hit so far!! Wants to thank all for understanding she can't blog by self and that she appreciates any positive energy.!! That chemo hit will be every 3 weeks-had not asked this prior to her. Said she would have blood work this week. adios for now moe
Monday, February 09, 2009
Not feeling up to par....
I just spoke to Jane and she isn't feeling that great after having the Neulasta shot last week. Her body is just sore and has been staying in bed. She wanted me to let all her bloggers know that is why she hasn't been on the computer. She is a fighter and hope these pains go away for her. Jane....We all love you very much and pray for you. You are the light of all our lives. I also want to thank Barry and Tim for being such big helpers for you and taking good care of you for us. I wish you weren't so far away. Stay in your jammies and in your warm bed. We love you
Eileen
Eileen
Saturday, February 07, 2009
Typing errors
It''s not that I'm vane (unsure of spelling) when it comes to making typing errors, it's just that I know what happened in April and Dec. '08 that alerted family that something was wrong with me. Something was not up to par in how I was structuring my sentences and typing with errors. Two things that I cherish. Both of which caught my family's eyes and got the ball rolling, something was wrong with me. And this is why I try to type very slowly and accurately, not because I'm vane.
Maureen, I hope you're having a great birthday. You are my best sister with the first name starting with an M! (joke) Check out all the comments today.
So far no body aches like a couple of years ago. Thank you God. Will continue to take it easy.
Maureen, I hope you're having a great birthday. You are my best sister with the first name starting with an M! (joke) Check out all the comments today.
So far no body aches like a couple of years ago. Thank you God. Will continue to take it easy.
Friday, February 06, 2009
Big Birthday Hug for Maureen...
A big birthday hug for my sister Maureen. It's her birthday on the 7th (am posting a bit early).
Even though I don't say it that often outlound I say it inside my heart. She certainly is the boss!
And I love her for that. You know what makes me sad, when I realize I am typing incorrectly like I did months ago with the brain. If I had not had that happeneded it would be a difference story. Now I am so focused on typing correctly, it's tiring to me. And I don't like that.
But enough of that. I promise myself no tears on the 7th 'cause it's Maureen's birthday!
Happy Birthday.
Even though I don't say it that often outlound I say it inside my heart. She certainly is the boss!
And I love her for that. You know what makes me sad, when I realize I am typing incorrectly like I did months ago with the brain. If I had not had that happeneded it would be a difference story. Now I am so focused on typing correctly, it's tiring to me. And I don't like that.
But enough of that. I promise myself no tears on the 7th 'cause it's Maureen's birthday!
Happy Birthday.
AFTERNOON SNOOZING!!!
I just talked to Barry and he said Lisa took Jane for the neulasta shot-thank u lisa!! Jane is in bed. Says Jane thought process into blog messed up some as mentioned by her today. Will post a little as we can. Barry has his cat scan Friday to check on his cancer status to see if he needs chemo which he has not required for a year-he has been having some pain he told me last night. Well stay warm Jane and who cares if u hang out in the bat cave like u used too!! love u lots moe
staying off computer
I'm not sure how I'll be feeling today cause I just had the neulasta shot, fist day after cheomo. So I am going to stay off off computer, typing errors again, don't don't do be discouraged again. Going to stay put as much as I can. Don't worry.
Thursday, February 05, 2009
# 1of my 8 th treatment today
I think I am mentally pooped to tell you the truth. But I feel a little better knowing my nurse has used this drug in the past. I finally have a chance to talk with someone who has used it.
Tomorrow I go back to having neulasta shot to build my cells up. That it the past caused bad body aches, but time will tell.
1 hr. pre chemo and 4 hr pre chemo. Decadron is one of my pre chemo and I hope to see some results.
Tomorrow I go back to having neulasta shot to build my cells up. That it the past caused bad body aches, but time will tell.
1 hr. pre chemo and 4 hr pre chemo. Decadron is one of my pre chemo and I hope to see some results.
JUST A SNEAK PEEK FROM MOE
I am sure everyone has been waiting for a blog entry. The first thing I do when I get home is search Jane's Blog. I knew she was heading for 830appt. and when I did not see posting could not wait so I called and Mr. Tim answered-aka Prince Harry by my work friends and Barry then told me that they were there at 830 am and she was there til 130pm. Jane had gone right to bed and at this time was still in bed. He had mentioned that last night she was having some difficulty with the blog posting and I said could be low oxygen related. Asked him if she had gone to bed with the oxygen and he said he would make sure she had it on and I felt a little better. Well that is it for now and tgif tomorrow. Sleep restfully Jane to kill those cancer cells!! love to all and of course adios moe
Wednesday, February 04, 2009
Start of frst chemo treatments- IXEMPLA
Just a adios for the day. This a was a day of no medical appts. Tomorrow is my frist chemo appt/ 1 hr pre prescriptis sich as benadryl/ and about 3 hrs. of the drug.
Monday, February 02, 2009
5 hrs. of doctor's and medical
What a long day for us. We spent the afternoon at a pulminary dr. reviewing possible scenarios.
Went over my recent visit to ER when I had phlem and blood mixed. He sent me to Hospital next door for some kind of doppler sonogram of my legs to rule out blood clots. Wanted us to wait for results but after about a total of 3 hrs. there we left.
Still haven't heard of results.
Glad calendar has no medical appts. tomorrow.
Went over my recent visit to ER when I had phlem and blood mixed. He sent me to Hospital next door for some kind of doppler sonogram of my legs to rule out blood clots. Wanted us to wait for results but after about a total of 3 hrs. there we left.
Still haven't heard of results.
Glad calendar has no medical appts. tomorrow.
Sunday, February 01, 2009
A lazy Sunday
I slept right through the night and was thankful for that. Then I turned on the local radio station and went to church in my jammies. Tim even made me breakfast in bed! You can't beat that.
Then during the afternoon I had another great sleep. Must be sleeping 'cause I need to. But I don't ask any questions anymore.
Oh yes, did balance my checking account for first time. A lot different than letting it go a few months.
Then during the afternoon I had another great sleep. Must be sleeping 'cause I need to. But I don't ask any questions anymore.
Oh yes, did balance my checking account for first time. A lot different than letting it go a few months.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Thanks Doreen for being a special delivery..
Yes, I was napping when you stopped by. You brought so many goodies to enjoy, and the carnations are so pretty. They are on of my favorite flowers. Maureen explained how you became the florist purchaser. She and I share the same value: being thrifty with our monies.
They charge as much as the flowers. That's rediculous. And the goodies are very good. Even though they are Steelers!
Today started out slow but has ended up being a nice day. Considering I had a terrible night for sleep. I think tonight will be much better.
They charge as much as the flowers. That's rediculous. And the goodies are very good. Even though they are Steelers!
Today started out slow but has ended up being a nice day. Considering I had a terrible night for sleep. I think tonight will be much better.
Very busy week of appts. /Muga from 50-40%
I've seen the Primary Care Dr, surgeon, and Dr. Simon who is my oncologist.
Dr. Simon had read about my recent surgery and had 2 drugs that I could use. And if I didn't mention this to any one my Muga Scan was at 50% and as of the first of January down to 40%. I am not aware of the number that is used to stop treatment as it causes trouble with the heart.
Dr. Simon asked my Pittsburgh oncologist and he agreed, try the new chemo drug. It' been ordered and I'm tentatively set for treatment on Thursday. Since it's a new drug, the nurses will have to taught themselves in order to give it me. I told them I would do my best. Dr. Simon
looked at my chart and I've been on approxibly 8 different treatment. This drug is given with pre drugs such as nausea. Followed by IV drip that should last 3 longs years. I also read briefly
(because that's what I do) and neuropathy can be an effect. I've had that while on a capsule
chemo drug way back.
The name of the new drug is IXEMPRA . I'll be googling during my spare time.
Last night sucked for me. Tossing, turning, legs ached along with crying. Why is that the nights can be the worse.
I would like to shout out a BIG wish that radiation will truly end tomorrow for Pat and the other prayer is for my another friend who follows my blog Ann L. I can't see going through this stuff by oneself.
My next medical appt. is Monday checking out and assessing breathing. To see it's set for correct # for usage.
That's it.
Dr. Simon had read about my recent surgery and had 2 drugs that I could use. And if I didn't mention this to any one my Muga Scan was at 50% and as of the first of January down to 40%. I am not aware of the number that is used to stop treatment as it causes trouble with the heart.
Dr. Simon asked my Pittsburgh oncologist and he agreed, try the new chemo drug. It' been ordered and I'm tentatively set for treatment on Thursday. Since it's a new drug, the nurses will have to taught themselves in order to give it me. I told them I would do my best. Dr. Simon
looked at my chart and I've been on approxibly 8 different treatment. This drug is given with pre drugs such as nausea. Followed by IV drip that should last 3 longs years. I also read briefly
(because that's what I do) and neuropathy can be an effect. I've had that while on a capsule
chemo drug way back.
The name of the new drug is IXEMPRA . I'll be googling during my spare time.
Last night sucked for me. Tossing, turning, legs ached along with crying. Why is that the nights can be the worse.
I would like to shout out a BIG wish that radiation will truly end tomorrow for Pat and the other prayer is for my another friend who follows my blog Ann L. I can't see going through this stuff by oneself.
My next medical appt. is Monday checking out and assessing breathing. To see it's set for correct # for usage.
That's it.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Stitch out/Staples Out,Tim took me to oncologist
Very busy day and I never felt them being taken out. My oncologist appt. took the longest which is about 90 mins. We've got the results of the MUGA scan that show45-50 reduction , down from 50 percent when I began the journey. I've been through about 8 differerent chemo drugs and my 2 oncologists have decided on a new treatment which is not on me at the present time. It has to be ordered, nurses have never used this drug in this office and therefore have to be taught so they can teach me. I told Dr. Simon I was going to be her *Star Student*.. I've heard the side effects can be rough but will give it a try. That's all I can do.
This weeks' appt. have ended. Yahoo.
This weeks' appt. have ended. Yahoo.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Snowstorm/No School/Primary Dr. Visit this a.m.
That's it in a nutshell. Besides a nice nap in p.m. Lots of white snow slush, weighs a ton I've been told. Not sure of tomorrow for school.
Tomorrow I have 10 a.m. appt. with surgeon to removed staples and a stitch. And would you believe the office called to say that our primary doctor could do that. Unfortunately a day too late. Plus it could have been done when he consulted at the ER the other day. But that would be too easy. Barry's driving me to Hermitage appt. and Tim's driving me to oncologist appt.
Well, it continues to snow heavy throughout the evening. Probably going to be 2 dr. delay.
Tomorrow I have 10 a.m. appt. with surgeon to removed staples and a stitch. And would you believe the office called to say that our primary doctor could do that. Unfortunately a day too late. Plus it could have been done when he consulted at the ER the other day. But that would be too easy. Barry's driving me to Hermitage appt. and Tim's driving me to oncologist appt.
Well, it continues to snow heavy throughout the evening. Probably going to be 2 dr. delay.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Another trip to E.R. and home...
Last night it began at about 7 p.m., coughing that wouldn't stop. And my nasal passages were clear but my chest consisted of blood. Light red. Did sleep through the night and then Barry took me to hospital. You know that I am sick of hospitals. We were there for about 3 hrs. doing blood work and chest x-ray. Typical as soon as I pulled in to driveway there was no phlem or blood, and no cough. Calm as can be.
I was told to watch for these symptoms again, as they could have been caused by tumors in my body. I was eventually discharged.
This p.m. I took a nap with oxygen (as I needed some in the hospital). Tomorrow a.m. I have appt. with primary dr. at 10 a.m., Thursday appt. with surgeon followed by oncologist visit. Busy couple of days.
This is why I didn't post last last. Had other things on my mind.
PS I was given a new pillow from Lisa to try out. One that you read books while sitting in bed.
Am willing to try anything.
Take care.
I was told to watch for these symptoms again, as they could have been caused by tumors in my body. I was eventually discharged.
This p.m. I took a nap with oxygen (as I needed some in the hospital). Tomorrow a.m. I have appt. with primary dr. at 10 a.m., Thursday appt. with surgeon followed by oncologist visit. Busy couple of days.
This is why I didn't post last last. Had other things on my mind.
PS I was given a new pillow from Lisa to try out. One that you read books while sitting in bed.
Am willing to try anything.
Take care.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
