On the way home we stopped at a warehouse store, and this name caught our eyes. Funny. Considering that is where we are from.

 

Maureen was here along with all the other snow. I could live without that!

 

This Christmas poinsettia and amaryllis are gifts from my Dad. He insisted that Maureen purchase them for me. Am glad she did.

 

We took Maureen out to small home cooked diner type restaurant, with good food.

 

Patti was taking my picture while I was taking her picture.

 

I just love this picture: Maureen and Tim. Don't you?

 

Pretty Patti giving me the peace sign, me and Maureen. We stopped by her house to say hi. I don't think she ever has a bad hair day!

 

One of my angels, Dr. Dan P. (neurologist who saved my life in April 2008). Dimple man

 

Brain surgery next week

Yesterday I went into Pittsburgh and met with neurologists, all that I've known from the past bout with brain cancer. Dr. Dan, the dr. with the great dimples even popped in to say. I took a picture of him and me. I was able to see the MRI of my brain that was taken last Thursday. This was after Dr. M drew a picture of it showing the size. Unfortunately this tumor can't be destroyed by cyberknife, surgery is my only option. It is located in the back of my head, above my neck. The other one in April was near the front of my head. They will be cutting into my head, cutting through bone and removing the tumor. The tumor is bleeding now and -my mind is blank now-and is you know expanding into areas it shouldn't be. Words to explain it are not coming out when I am typing this. Dr. M and Dr E will be the surgeons. Dr. E was one of the neurosurgeons I had in April. And being cute is a requirement for this job! I will be in the hospital for a minimum of 2 days. Same hospital as when I had chest resection, Shadyside. Same hospital as pretty Patti works. I've asked her if she could schedule herself for the OR that day like before. She's looking into that.

The date is Dec. 4. I am asking that no visitors come. And I don't want to offend anyone. My sisters will be updating my blog with news like before. As I've said in the past, I live for this blog. One thing is different this time. I am aware I have a bleeding tumor. This scares me honestly. I asked the doctors what I should be looking out for. Was told that I could be reaching for something in my right hand, and not being able to get it.

My worry continues be with Tim. But I've been told and I know that he is a great person. A kind person. A caring person. And I've brought him up to believe in God. I know deep inside he will be fine. These things I have to think about. Not because I'm negative but because I'm realistic. And I also worry about Barry. His cancer did not change these past months thank God. He cooks for me and takes me everywhere since April. Also has taught himself how to pay bills. Being hospitalized out of the blue in April pushed him into doing that. He's so good to me.

This coming week hopefully will go fast. I've already had an invite to lunch with JoeAnn at the college. I didn't go for chemo today because of the upcoming surgery.
Barry's actually cooking Thanksgiving turkey now. Today will be our holiday as unfortunately he has to work tomorrow. Even though this is happening to me I am thankful for many things. Especially the new friendships I have come upon since this cancer has entered our lives.

A lot to write about. I swear I am going through all of this just to continue to blog!

Happy Thanksgiving.

Appt. with radiation oncologist tomorrow.

I have an appointment with Dr. Mintz tomorrow at Presbyterian Hospital at noon. This will be consultation about what we should do next about my brain cancer. I have met him before when had cyberknife of the brain a few months ago. I'm glad they are wasting no time. My scheduled chemo day is Wednesday due to Thanksgiving being on Thursday.

We brought Maureen to the airport this a.m. and left her at the door. We didn't go in. Once up at the gates, she called to say there was no line at security. I took an ativan before I left for airport and for some reason I was so sleepy on both ways. Not sure what that was all about. Very uncomfortable. Barry went for flu shot and was not able to get one due to his doctor no in the office. Will go back tomorrow. As soon as I got home I got into my jammies and slept basically all day, getting up to go to the bathroom. Guess Maureen just pooped me out! She also has called to ask me if I had found her notes she hid for me. Yes, I found one on the pillow (which I slept on, never noticed) and that's the only one. 2 to go.

Time goes by too fast

Maureen leaves tomorrow a.m. after helping me with so many odds and ends around the house. And I thank her. I now can walk in my bedroom without tripping over my walker from months ago and piles of clothes that are going to a Goodwill box. And my medicine cabinet is so clean and neat. Doesn't take her that long but with my bad shoulder/chest plate it is a job that I kept postponing.

Today she came to church with me. Sat with Rick and Bev, and I think she met the whole town. I know so many people there. A couple of new friends came up to me to say hi after hearing my story last week in church. Am thinking that God is putting me through all this as a lesson for others. I have to think this way otherwise I'd go crazy. Personally the lung cancer doesn't bother me as much as the cancer in the brain. Only because I know what that can do 'cause I went through it in April. This cancer is fast moving and therefore I have to fight it with positive energy and lots of prayers. But honestly it scares me. I think that's the human in me. But as long as there is a breath in me I will continue to go forward.

While at church today I lined up to volunteer in their office. Even if it's just answering phones or possibly stuffing bulletins for Sunday services, it will get me out of the house for an hour or two. Ronee asked me what was important to me and I said "being with people." They know my limitations and upcoming new adventures with my brain, but will take me as often as I can make it there. Even learned that my neighbor volunteers in the office. It was the "boss", Maureen, who pushed me to find something to do especially during these cold snowy months.

Well, Maureen returns home tomorrow. And I know she realizes all that she did for me, cleaning my house and even taking me to my appointment in Pittsburgh. I took her and Patti out to dinner tonight for her good bye dinner. She was here when I needed someone to cry with and that was such a blessing. But I always remember this: when you are crying you can't see the future!

Maureen and Cape Cod family, I will see you as soon as I'm up to traveling that far.
I promise you.

Results are in..

I emailed oncologist in Pittsburgh this p.m. This is my email and his reply:

I was at Dr. Simon's office this a.m. for blood work. She has not got any results from my tests yesterday at Shadyside.
Are you able to pull them up for me? Am anxious as you know, and this coming week I'm scheduled for a treatment.
Thanks, Dr. Brufsky. I appreciate all you do for me long distance. Yesterday my last test ended at 2 p.m. ish. Was exhausted and a bit too late to see you. Sorry.

Dr. Simon said to contact you. I can take that 2 ways. Either she truly doesn't have results or the results are bad. And I don't want to not know for the weekend.

_______________________----

replies
:
The brain lesion has increased a bit (very slightly) and there may be another very small one. I think a gamma knife may be needed. There are still two lesions in the lungs which are slightly larger. Are you scheduled to see Dr. Burton soon?

2nd reply
:
Contact Burton about the cyberkinfe. I would continue the same chemo as the lesions in the lung really are not that much larger (only minimally)


------------------

I have contacted the radiation oncologist. Now waiting for plan of attack.

CT Scans/Mri Brain

Today my sister took me to Shadyside for me tests. A very LONG day, am physically and mentally pooped. Both tests were delayed. I left in tears cause of the pain and emotion of the day. I could never have gone myself. Tomorrow is Barry's turn, but he goes to Hillman Cancer Center. That's where I used to go, but for some reason this new dr. schedules me at Shadyside.

Took 2 hr. nap. And am already looking forward to going to bed. Not sure when I will get the results. Would like something to appear on scans to explain the daily severe pain I've been having. That would be a dream! I passed out a couple "business" cards showing my blog address to some people I was waiting with.

PS. Here's the posting I did last night. Got lost in cyberspace..

¡Soy así que excitado! Mi hermana Maureen está viniendo visitarnos. Su plano llega 9:30 mañana. mañana. Barry y seré cosecha ella para arriba. No puedo esperar….

Snow already

I can't believe that we have that white stuff outside already. And it's not even December. I'm ready to move to Phoenix for the winter. Crazy...weather. I can't take the cold anymore.

A great Sunday

I was truly blessed today by so many people. You know, we may not be Presbyterians but I feel so lucky to attend this church. And I feel at home and at peace while there among so many that truly care for me. This was shown to me today, along with in the past by Lisa H. My friend Patti spoke of our friendship today, in front of the congreagation. She spoke of how we met at the soccer game last year. When I approached her to be in the operating room during my long chest resection. I had not met her until that day. That was the day that our friendship began. She gave a history of what we've been through, explaining how I always try to be positive and have a smile on my face. She spoke after the church had a group blessing. If you wanted to be blessed with oil you just had to approach a church leader and do so. I knew this was happening today. Afer I sat there for awhile I decided to walk to the front of the church. A friend of mine Ronee held out her hand to me. And then we got a blessing. Followed by free hugs. I went back to my seat where I was sitting with Bev and Rick. I sat in the middle of them while both placed their arms around me. This was when Patti spoke.

I wonder why some people go through life without touching anyone, while others quite the opposite. I prefer to hang out with the ones that aren't afraid to hug and to be hugged.

I have audio CD of this sermon and one from the other day. That way I can listen whenever I chose to.

A cold and wet day at the football game...

This afternoon Tim and the band accompanied the football team to their playoff game up near Erie. Now that is "cold country". You have to be a true fan to have gone and sat through that. Tim said it was a mixture of heavy rain to the point you couldn't see across the field and then it changed to snow. The members of the band did not wear their usual wool outfit which would have kept them at least warm. I'm one of those parents that ask at what point does the band not need to go. Our team performed a pre-show, the other team didn't even do their 1/2 time show. I have to thank a parent for having an extra hoodie on hand which Tim quickly grabbed. Even though I have not gone to many games this year due to my cancer, I wouldn't have gone otherwise in this such weather. Will be so glad when the marching season is finally over.

As for tomorrow, I'm already expecting a good day. Patti K. has been asked to speak about me during the church service tomorrow. She knows how tearful I am and wanted to see if it was OK to do. I thanked her for doing this, and for being another voice against cancer. Cancer has made me a stronger person. Something good has grown from something bad. Friendships have formed and have gotten stronger. I will be bringing kleenex with me as someone once told me tears are used to get rid of the toxens inside our body. And heaven knows I have lots of those!

Prayers for all who are suffering

I got a long email from a fellow blogger about her husband. I had never met him but noticed him at a recent sr. football game night. I was there just because of that. He was wearing a hat, appeared to be bald with the look of just feeling crappy. He was in a wheelchair, but when it came time to recognize his sr. daughter he proudly got out of that wheelchair and walked next to his wife to kiss his daughter. It must have taken so much energy to do that. But it was his own personal goal. The non malignant tumor had attempted to be taken out twice, but the heart wouldn't take it. The tumor is on the spine I believe. Like all of us newbies we learn a new conversation, new words to use, new life to live. He is in pain 24-7. Here she blogs for me never mentioning her heartache and husband, so I took the time to reach out to her to say "what's up."

And yes, I agree with her: THIS IS SO SHITTY. I HATE THIS.

May you find peace during your sleeping moments. Hard to believe there is no cure for some pain. Am wondering what drug addicts find in it!!!

Please pray.

Sickness

Sickness has hit our household. Barry didn't work yesterday. Coming out both ends.
As for me, body's aching but that could just be the shot. And last night Tim mentioned his stomach felt funny. Positive thinking. We are not going to get sick.
We have 2 days of shots to go, and then I can stay put. Tim went out for ginger ale last night. Always good to have that in house. I'm heading out for my shot and to drug store.

We went and saw Harvey at High School tonight.

For the past week Tim's been mentioning the school play Harvey. Inviting me to go with his girl friend. I wasn't sure how I would be feeling, and didn't know right up until he was going. The kids put on such a professional production each year. It's perhaps because of the kids/friends he has that are in the show that I wanted to see them in their last school play. Come next fall it's time for college. In the spring they have a musical. This year it will be The Music Man. And with him being in the band that should be fun and I do think Tim will probably try out for that show. He had too much on his plate this time of the year.
And it was nice to be in the same category as a girl friend. As we joked in the car, he said that I was his best friend. Priceless.

I went to Cancer Center for my shot this a.m. As I've said I require 4 daily shots following chemo. And on Fridays they check my white blood cells along with other stuff.

And I got to see a friend there, Anne L. and her buddy Janie. I met Anne through a mutual friend JK, a breast cancer survivor. And when I was hospitalized in April 08
she came to see me in the hospital face to face, rather than a bloggin' friend. She's dealing with cancer and different treatments just as I am doing. It was so great to see her again. We communicate via email and my blog.

By the way, don't say anything about government being slow. My disability check going backwards is in my account today. Less than 2 weeks of applying, and Tim's getting his check mailed to him. I have to say that I definitely worked for those monies. But I'm not looking back, just forward.

Kudos to production of Harvey. It was a lot of fun.

3rd chemo treatment done

And now I'm resting. My blood counts were on the border, but the doctor approved the treatment.

Approved for disabilty

Yesterday p.m. I got a call from social security office. I had applied last Monday and yes, 8 days later I got approved for disability. Tim sill also get checks until he graduates from school. I never thought I would be collecting disability. But I certainly did not take advantage of the system. It helped that my employers worked with me, understood me. Now I can focus on ME and MY FAMILY.

Tomorrow is another chemo day, followed by CT scans,MRI brain on Nov 20th. Moving them up because the cancer is fast moving/agressive. But the fight is not over yet.

My goal is to get Tim into a good college next year. That way I can rest. And we are in the process of that now.

Barry's been wonderful. Drives me everywhere he goes. And to my chemo treatments.
Takes me with him to grocery shop and to do errands. When I ask him if we're doing anything special today, I have to laugh. I'm turning into my mother. And that's an OK person to be!

Keeping you posted

My computer has been sick, but now is almost brand spanking new. Thanks to Barry.
Last night I was up all night, thanks to caffeine soda. As I lay there, 2 plus 2 equalled caffeine. Didn't worry about it. We went to church and had a copy of last weeks sermon copied onto DVD for me. Lisa H. mentioned me and my blog in the sermon, which I didn't go to. As soon as I got home I listened to it. Never had my name mentioned in a sermon in my whole life. Just another reason that explains the area and community. I sat with Bev and Rick, who have become my pew partners. Before the service it's a chance to talk about anything. Today was a good day, probably because it's the last days before my upcoming treatment on Thursday. Aches continued, but I personally felt like a real person. Great day outside, finally repotted 2 dish plants that had been given to me these past months. I lied down in bed after Barry went to work and Tim went to college library. Bad mistake. I couldn't get comfortable with my chest plate and collar bone. Had to take a pain killer. Heard Tim come home and then next time I looked up it was 11:00 P.M. Must have been tired.

Let me back track a couple of days. Friday was sr. night for marching band and football team. Had totally forgotten about that event and having to be outside once again the cold weather. Now I can truly say I'm done with outside activities. The one thing that made it manageable was placing heat pad in my glove, helped just enough. Once I get cold, I tense up and there is no relief. But it was for a good cause, Tim! Am hoping for someone to email me pictures of the 3 of us, as you can't have enough pictures. Want to blog one or two.

Hair update: still there. Am thankful for every day it covers my head especially during these cold months. It's the little things that mean a lot.

PS Tim past his motorcycle drivers test on Friday. And one more thing, I met a lady who follows my blog at the football game finally. I follow hers, she follows me. Good to put a face to a bloggin' entry.

A picture is worth a thousand words. Thanks JK.

 

JANE IS AOK-COMPUTER NOT WORKING!!

just talked to jane briefly and wondered why no posting? the computer is down at present time. she had a good day but at this time had some chest plate pain and was off to bed with a painkiller on board!!adios moe