Sunday on Cape Cod..

Today was spent at Barry's parents house. His brother Matt and his wife Wendy, along with their 4 children, came down from their home to spend time with us. So for the first time in a long time the whole family was together. And yes, I did take pictures and as soon as I get home will post some on this blog.

It was a different kind of day. In just looking at Tim interact with his cousins, all the kids are growing up so fast. And the common denominator was the subject of college. Like I said, it was so nice to listen in on their conversations. Tim told me later on that it was his first time that he can remember talking to one of his female cousins.

A bit tired right now. As Maureen would say, "a lot of input."

PS. Was sad :( to hear that Maureen is home and had to call out sick for tomorrow. Feeling yucky. Sad to hear but more impt. to be separated. Don't need to get sick ourselves.

As Maureen would say: adios.

Surprise Mom and Dad...

Barry, Tim and I surprised my parents and went to Cape Cod. And they were truly surprised. I had told my sisters and brother that we were going and to keep a secret. Also told a couple others who did what they were told to do. Good job!

We left for our journey at 4 a.m. right on time. Stopped to see his cousin Deb and her parents who live in Ct. Barry had brought her a computer from spare parts as hers just died. One person's trash is another person's gold. Basically a new computer, glad someone is using it. We visited for a couple of hours, hadn't seen them for a few years. Then we got back on the road for another 2 1/4 hrs.

At about 4 p.m. Barry gave me permission to call my dad and I did. Before telling him where we were I told him that I felt a desire for lobster. Finally I told him where we were. Talk of surprise. Sure did surprise him.

My away message today said "Family is best medicine." That was a clue I had left.
I am so excited to be with family. It's been a long year. And just glad to be alive.

To everyone that helped me keep this secret, THANKS!

'twas the day after Christmas

And Tim and I were at the mall by 10 a.m. I bought another pair of jeans and a top, at a store I wouldn't have been in for it not to be a sale. Christopher Banks. And a couple more pillow cases. I must say for what we've been through that it all came out to be a nice Christmas. Plus we didn't go overboard. Tim got just what he asked for, which wasn't much. As for us, we were just thankful beyond words just to be alive. And you can quote me on that! Not many people can say that honestly.

I didn't plan on it, but when I lied down for nap I basically slept the whole day. I find myself doing that again since I'm off the steroids. The dr. told me that it has nothing to do with them, but I disagree. Will know for sure when I go back on them for the cyberknife. I just felt really good last week.

That's it for now.

Thankful for yet another Christmas to celebrate.

Merry Christmas

Just wanted to wish everyone a Merry Christmas.

Happy Birthday, Barry

Yes, today is Barry's birthday. Happy Birthday.

It feels great to be alive..

Tim took me to a mall today. And the whole time I was thinking, it feels great to be alive! At times I just stood still. Thinking of the past few months. Where I've been and where I'm about to go. And for the first time in a long time I had nice clear thoughts in my head. Sort of put the past in the past. The words that are said during these days have an extra special meaning this year: Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. And for those of you that are having trouble still, believe me your time will come. You will also feel the joy that I'm presently feeling. Just keep focused on the future. Stay positive.

I've been there.

Got fitted for another Mask-cyberknife once more

Today Barry and I went to Pittsburgh for me to be fitted for another Mask/cyberknife once more. The actual mask took about 5 minutes to be molded on my face. The wax they use is hot, and they just rested on my fact for about 5 minutes. Is made out of many holes so one can breathe. This procedure was much easier than the first one I had a few months ago. I was still in the hospital and as Eileen remembers that was not a good day for me. A lot easier today. We then took this mask that was created across the street to another hospital to have an MRI done, with and without the mask on. This took about the longest. Think it was more than 90 minutes, not sure 'cause I actually was able to doze since I took an ativan before. The next steps involve the dr. co-ordinating where the radiation is going to be aimed. This could take about 10 days. Probably after Christmas. And voila, procedure was complete and we left Pittsburgh. By the way, we only had lots of rain today. You can keep the snow.

Tomorrow Tim has volunteered to take me to a mall. I've been nagging everyone lately. And to think I'm not a shopper usually. But for some reason it's in my head to go shoppping. I've been thinking about what I've been through these past few months, how lucky I've been feeling. Who would have guessed that I would have gone through 2 procedures with the brain within a few months of each other. I call it a second chance on life. And for me to be without pain is such a greatful relief. Any more blessings I get are a bonus to me. I truly feel blessed.

Hard to believe next week is Barry's birthday and Christmas. House is all decorated. No cards have been mailed. May just send out some electronic email to update people who don't realize what has happended to us these past couple of years.
Whatever I do, it will be simple.

Again, thanks to all!

Someone who follows my blog sent me these beautiful roses. Another act of kindness greatly appreciated.

 

Saying of the day...

Never lose a chance of saying a kind word.

William Makepeace Thackeray
English novelist, 19th century

Christmas luncheon with my department

I'm going to the Christmas luncheon with my department today. Looking forward to seeing everyone. Should be lots of fun. Hard to believe that it's only been 2 weeks since I had last surgery. When I was going to bed, lots of things were swirling in my head. One of them was this: any one can put up a tree, but decorating it with love is another story!

As planned I went to the luncheon. It was a great time. Then I took the time to go throughout the different departments to say hello. Now that was a treat in itself.
It was a nice day for me. I will have no problem sleeping tonight.

Tonight I got to see Tim and the High School chorus perform in the Christmas Show.
Yes, we are still able to say Christmas. It was my first chance to see him as a Chamber Singer. I really enjoyed that.

Happy Birthday, BECKY

To all my bloggin' buddies, it is a real special treat to tell you that it's Becky's birthday today.

Angels truly walk amongst us

We are truly blessed to have settled in this town. My parents were able to see this first hand when they were here in April 2008, only a few short months ago. They saw what we had already seen, felt what we've already felt. My heart is filled with love because of these angels. We got to experience these feelings during the past couple of days. One night the local Presbyterian church stopped by and sang Christmas Carols. And tonight our tree became a Christmas Tree with the help of a parishioner and her tiny elves. Heck, they would have cleaned my toilets had they needed to be cleaned! Let's not forget the balsam Christmas centerpiece that was delivered today. Again, words can not say how greatful we are.

Thanks.

Our church stopped by the other night and did some caroling to cheer us up. It worked. Thanks.

 

Yesterday my stitches were removed. Picture of Dr. M. neurosurgeon, and myself.

 

 

Angels from our church stopped by tonight and decorated our tree. Priceless. We have so many friends supporting us.

 

 

Christmas Centerpiece was delivered today.

 

 

Cyberknife once again....

Yesterday was productive day in the city. Got my stitches taken out of my head. And today I can't wait to shower that area. It has been suggested, and I will have it, to do cyberknife once again. I will go in to the city this Friday to be fitted once more for a new mask. Can't recycle the old one, facial may have changed a smither of an inch. Therefore the radiation would be off. I may need about 3 treatments, followed by MRI and eventually back to chemo. Considering it's the middle of December and these things take time to map out, I would think it's going to be first of year to get back on track with the chemo.

Just wanted you to know.

Been there, done that!

Happy Birthday, Pat. (chemo buddy) Hope you enjoyed the day. You deserve it.



PS. I continue to feel like a brand new person. It's a wonderful feeling.
Other than a voiceless voice, I am doing great.

PSS. 11:10 a.m.
I'm not worried about cyberknife this time. May have something to do with it not being the first time for me.

Another day great to be alive

I woke up this a.m. by 8 a.m. and immediately felt that it was good to be alive. Had not felt that way in months. I felt a need to go shopping out at the outlets so I eventually grabbed Tim to drive me there. Actually he did quite a lot of knick knack shopping for himself and I didn't buy anything for myself. But that's OK, as I was walking around the stores I felt good to be alive.

After the outlets were done, I came home and took a much needed nap. Woke up just in time to be sung to by carolers from local Presbyterian Church that we attend. I don't think I can ever remember that having been done to me in all my life. They all came on a tractor. Songbooks in their hands, and full of joy in their songs.
A truly touching moment. Thanks to all who came and once again brought joy to us.

For dinner we went to Tim's girlfriend's house for a small Christmas gathering. It was such a nice time, and I thought to my self had this been 2 weeks ago I would not have been able to sit for that period of time without an ache or two.

Yes, Eileen you have a good memory. Tomorrow I meet with Dr. Mintz radiologist surgeon from 10 days ago and then go across the street to another hospital to meet with Dr. Burton about the possible need for additional radiation to my brain. Either way, I can take the news. Have already done so once, so what's another time?

State Champs!

From local newspaper:

HERSHEY — They are nicknamed the Burrs, but Saturday afternoon at Hersheypark Stadium, it was more like B-r-r-r!
West Catholic High football team's overwhelming offense was chilled by Wilmington's “Hounds Hammer” defense, particularly on the game's penultimate play for the PIAA plateau. Shane Wagner tripped up Burrs' quarterback Curtis Drake at the goal line on an extra-points try in the 2nd overtime, enabling Wilmington to win the Class AA commonwealth crown via a 35-34 victory.

Wilmington wins state title in double-OT thriller


Congratulations also go out to band for staying by the football team throughout the season.

It's GREAT to be ALIVE

It's coming back to me. The good feelings. Every day is getting better. Am feeling more like myself from months ago. And continue to thank God especially for allowing me to go through all this. I call it learning to live.

Amazing how things can change. At least for the presence that is positive! And that's all you should live for, the present.

Every day is a bit easier...

Each day I'm allowing myself to accomplish the stuff which I had put off. Like cleaning out my drawers. Taking it easy, no rush. But am enjoying it. And now my drawers are in order. Still have to ponder my checking account statements from April! In just looking around the house, it just seems to be in good shape. Tree isn't up yet, but that should happen soon. Wreath is up and our welcome lights are always on in the windows.

And emotionally I feel so much better than I had the past couple of months. I do believe that my body was crying 'cause it knew something was bad inside and was getting bigger. Just a feeling that I have. It seemed that I cried almost daily over just little things.

Did not take any additional pain meds today for the first time. That is good news.
Looking forward to seeing surgeon and radiation oncologist on Monday. I'll be having my stitches out of my head and then will meet to discuss the need if any for future radiaition of my brain.

So yes, I'm at ease finally. Last night at the band concert I was trying to think back over the past few months of what has happened to me, and it was just a blur. I think blurry things are put in your mind for a purpose.

Every day is a bit easier...

One week post surgery. Christmas Concert!

As the title says, I went to see Tim perform in the school's Christmas Concert and it's only been one week since surgery. People were so shocked to see me, and I had such a good time. At times I would just close my eyes and listen to the music. Since he's a senior this year, these are the last of the performances in High School.

Went all day without nap. I rested before the concert in my bed but didn't fall asleep. Actually for the first time in a long time I yawned as I left the concert.

Oh yes, last night I went to be at 2 a.m. and slept right through until 7:30 a.m.
Got Tim off to school and then I went back to bed until 10ish. Nice sleep.

Did hear from dr.'s office about my MRI. This was comment in the email:

The MRI of the brain showed no findings to suggest residual tumor.

I see my neurologist this coming Monday to remove the stitches that are still in my head. And then I have an appt. with the radiation oncologist to see if he suggests more radiation such as cyberknife. That should take up much of the day.

T'is Tuesday

This a.m. I was up and dressed by 8:30. That's incredible for me. And then I changed a couple of beds and did some laundry. Don't worry, I knew when to stop.

By the afternoon, I am feeling in the area of the chest plate the feeling you get when you have been nursing and it's that time. Weird. But have had that feeling in the past. So I did take some medicine for the discomfort. Not sure what will happen when the steroids are all out of my body. Wondering if I could possible stay on them just so I am not feeling this feeling.

After Tim got home, I had been antsy being inside all day. So I asked him to drive me to dollar store. In and out of there in less than 10 mins.

Have not heard from surgeon. Will call office tomorrow.

A pretty good day IMO

Had another good night's sleep (once I eventually fell asleep). Steroids are still in my system making it difficult to fall asleep. Geez, wasn't I just writing of how much sleep I was getting! and being tired all the time!

Got up with Tim when he went to school even. Then just went back to bed and rested
until Barry got up. He's been so good to me. Takes good care of me as I would expect. Went to oncologist office this a.m. for a prescription and saw my friend Ann and her office buddy Jane. Nice seeing them.

By the p.m. when Tim came home my arm was getting stiff, not painful. So I took a pill and then lied down. Am thinking of washing my hair again today. It's got so much dried blood, etc. in the area of incision, just dabbing the area right now.

Did not hear from surgeon today on my MRI results. I did email him and left a message. Probably will contact me tomorrow. No rush really, am not going anywhere.
Just need time to heal.

Again, thanks!

Best night of sleep in such a long time..

Was in my bedroom by 11 p.m. and still after listening to my clock radio it was 1:11 a.m. Just layed there with my decadron (steroid) which is slowly being reduced daily for about 15 days. Next time I was up for bathroom and I don't know what time that was. And voila, 7:45 a.m. came up and I said to myself "Geez, that was a GOOD sleep." I needed that. Took my meds and hopped back into bed for a couple more hours and then partially listened to my church service on the radio. And I was able to stay in my pjs'. Got dressed for the day and already blogging. right now whatever pain I had is mostly in the past. My headturning excersises are working, just need to work on the up and down of head. No complaints.

Forecast is snow showers most of the week. Inch or 2 daily. Tim's gone for paper and then will shovel a bit. He has to be at local Nutcracker Suite for NHS, total of 4 hrs.

Now I'm heading downstairs. Am being very careful in my walking as I'm not a steady walker right now. But that will improve. Heck, I just had someone cutting muscles and bone in my skull on Wednesday. Incredible. And it took just 90 mins. Wow.

Thanks for your continued prayers. They are working.

I AM HOME

And yes, it's Jane. Writing once again. Short but with lots of gratitude.
A long week but I slept through the night, best time all week.

Thanks for following me on this journey.

Welcome Home Jane....

I just want to say welcome home to you. Enjoy your own bed and jammies.....You will get a good nights sleep I hope. I also want to thank everyone for saying prayers for you during your hospital stay. I love you, Barry and Tim.
Love to all
Eileen

Jane's stay in hospital....

DO YOU BELIEVE JANE IS HOME!!

I just got home from work and called Jane's cell and she answered me and said she was at home. EXHAUSTED-got meds etc. Talked quickly. Apparently busy day this am-had fallen sometime at hospitalchecked out and ok to go home. She is very tired and will be sleeping in her own bed tonight. Talk about a drive thru brain surgery huh!! Adios moe

Jane today....Pretty Patti took the picture...

I spoke with Jane tonight for a few minutes. She was in alot of pain, but pretty good spirits. Thanked me for helping with her blog. Love to all...Eileen

PAIN IS A GOOD THING!!

Talked to Barry after work and he handed Jane the phone and I was sooo happy to hear her clear speech, her total mental awareness. her complaining of head hurting her-pain means u are aware which is a good thing, telling me her head/neck area looks like someone beat her up. Patti had called me 7am and told me she had just seen Jane and would send me a picture she took. Eileen will post soon. She has been moved out of ICU area and to another floor. Remember a year ago she told us to take pics so her story could be better told. Adios and I will tell her who has blogged and thanks to all for the morale support to family and Jane. adios moe

This is where Jane spent her time yesterday....

SPEECH IS AOK!!

At 8pm I talked to Barry and Tim on way home from hospital. After a long while they were able to visit with her in icu-stayed about an hour. SPEECH IS AOK!!! Eyes all puffed up and bothering her-they tape your eyes shut during surgery-giving her eye drops which she did not care for. Jane very uncomfortable with chest plate etc-getting pain med. Crying which I would do so who cares!! Ativan given with the pain med. Barry and Tim almost home. I work tomorrow and Patti to work and she will call me at work after she sees her and I will post as soon as I can. Adios and yes there is a GOD!!
Thanks for the prayer wave!!!!

SPEECH IS AOK!!

This is for all who love Jane...thanks....

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Love Eileen

Jane Tues nite....

Surgery is done.....

Barry just called Moe and Jane's surgery is done. They will be able to see her in about 1 1/2 hours. Her speech is off a bit, but could be from being put to sleep. I am glad this is over for her now. Now is the time for her to heal and get home to her own bed and jammies....Lets all hope for a speedy return home for her. Thanks for everyone's prayers today for all the Kaminske's
Love to all
Eileen

I just talked to Jane...

This is Eileen this time.....I just talked to Jane. She sounded great. Her speach is so much better. Her surgery is in 90 minutes. Barry and Tim are there with her now. Please have happy thoughs and prayers for her, Barry and Tim for this hard time. My love to all her friends that are there in Pa.
Love you all
Eileen

SENSE OF HUMOR PRICELESS!!

Patti on a break and with Jane as she requested some sherbert couple minutes ago. Says surgery noonish a birdie told her-to take four hours or so prior to recovery and will go to neuro intensive care afterwards. Jane laughed and said she did not think she had four hours of work in her brain!!! how upbeat!! i told her of new blogs names as they happen night moe

JUST TALKED TO JANE AROUND 5PM

said the headache is much less-had been bad for a couple days! surgery to be tomorrow afternoon sometime. had mri brain and her head is marked up for surgery. she had read my blog entry yesterday this am but not the responses-i told her who had posted up to date-names and there is always excitement in her voice!! thanks to all adios moe

JANE IS ALREADY IN THE HOSPITAL!!

Just talked to Barry and he told me I could post on the blog. This am Jane continued to have the headache that would not go away and as a precaution the neurosurgeon instructed them to go directly to the hospital for evaluation. After a short er wait of less than 10 minutes it was determined that Jane needed to be admitted-was given some iv steroids and then up to hospital room. It is now necessary to have the brain surgery done tomorrow-Wednesday!! Jane and her family need that LARGE PRAYER WAVE TO START ASAP!!. Will keep u posted and yes Patti her nurse anesthesia friend was with her in the er and will make sure all goes well tomorrow-it is nice to have a friend close by. adios moe and ps jane last night we lit a candle for u at Fatima Shrine Christmas Lights in town. love u lots

JANE IS RESTING AND GETTING ENERGY NEEDED FOR THIS WEEK!!

It is Moe with a short posting. I have talked briefly with her several times between the necessary "cat naps" to build up all that necessary POSITIVE ENERGY for the surgery this week. Her blogging friends are definately part of her getting through all this mess!! I learned several things when I was with them last week. Barry-u are a tremendous help to Jane always-u cook, u drive,u never complain about your own health,u provide love to jane your wife and to tim your son!! Jane u always go forward with such an amazing attitude that I could never keep up with-your friends and family help u in so many ways!! I saw u ever so relaxed the night we saw Neil Sedaka at the college and at church on Sunday-I wish that shoulder pain would disappear! Jane is so proud of Tim-his band playing,school activities-trying out for the Music Man play,soccer,hunting,and just being a senior in High School. I want to especially thank Tim for sleeping on the couch so I could have his room. A great big BRAVO TIM for being accepted at Penn. State in Erie!! As I always tell Jane-keep up the POSITIVE ATTITUDE. Remember those 2 lucky charms u have now-HOPE AND HARMONY as they will get u through any times ahead!! love u lots and as i always say ADIOS moe

On the way home we stopped at a warehouse store, and this name caught our eyes. Funny. Considering that is where we are from.

 

Maureen was here along with all the other snow. I could live without that!

 

This Christmas poinsettia and amaryllis are gifts from my Dad. He insisted that Maureen purchase them for me. Am glad she did.

 

We took Maureen out to small home cooked diner type restaurant, with good food.

 

Patti was taking my picture while I was taking her picture.

 

I just love this picture: Maureen and Tim. Don't you?

 

Pretty Patti giving me the peace sign, me and Maureen. We stopped by her house to say hi. I don't think she ever has a bad hair day!

 

One of my angels, Dr. Dan P. (neurologist who saved my life in April 2008). Dimple man

 

Brain surgery next week

Yesterday I went into Pittsburgh and met with neurologists, all that I've known from the past bout with brain cancer. Dr. Dan, the dr. with the great dimples even popped in to say. I took a picture of him and me. I was able to see the MRI of my brain that was taken last Thursday. This was after Dr. M drew a picture of it showing the size. Unfortunately this tumor can't be destroyed by cyberknife, surgery is my only option. It is located in the back of my head, above my neck. The other one in April was near the front of my head. They will be cutting into my head, cutting through bone and removing the tumor. The tumor is bleeding now and -my mind is blank now-and is you know expanding into areas it shouldn't be. Words to explain it are not coming out when I am typing this. Dr. M and Dr E will be the surgeons. Dr. E was one of the neurosurgeons I had in April. And being cute is a requirement for this job! I will be in the hospital for a minimum of 2 days. Same hospital as when I had chest resection, Shadyside. Same hospital as pretty Patti works. I've asked her if she could schedule herself for the OR that day like before. She's looking into that.

The date is Dec. 4. I am asking that no visitors come. And I don't want to offend anyone. My sisters will be updating my blog with news like before. As I've said in the past, I live for this blog. One thing is different this time. I am aware I have a bleeding tumor. This scares me honestly. I asked the doctors what I should be looking out for. Was told that I could be reaching for something in my right hand, and not being able to get it.

My worry continues be with Tim. But I've been told and I know that he is a great person. A kind person. A caring person. And I've brought him up to believe in God. I know deep inside he will be fine. These things I have to think about. Not because I'm negative but because I'm realistic. And I also worry about Barry. His cancer did not change these past months thank God. He cooks for me and takes me everywhere since April. Also has taught himself how to pay bills. Being hospitalized out of the blue in April pushed him into doing that. He's so good to me.

This coming week hopefully will go fast. I've already had an invite to lunch with JoeAnn at the college. I didn't go for chemo today because of the upcoming surgery.
Barry's actually cooking Thanksgiving turkey now. Today will be our holiday as unfortunately he has to work tomorrow. Even though this is happening to me I am thankful for many things. Especially the new friendships I have come upon since this cancer has entered our lives.

A lot to write about. I swear I am going through all of this just to continue to blog!

Happy Thanksgiving.

Appt. with radiation oncologist tomorrow.

I have an appointment with Dr. Mintz tomorrow at Presbyterian Hospital at noon. This will be consultation about what we should do next about my brain cancer. I have met him before when had cyberknife of the brain a few months ago. I'm glad they are wasting no time. My scheduled chemo day is Wednesday due to Thanksgiving being on Thursday.

We brought Maureen to the airport this a.m. and left her at the door. We didn't go in. Once up at the gates, she called to say there was no line at security. I took an ativan before I left for airport and for some reason I was so sleepy on both ways. Not sure what that was all about. Very uncomfortable. Barry went for flu shot and was not able to get one due to his doctor no in the office. Will go back tomorrow. As soon as I got home I got into my jammies and slept basically all day, getting up to go to the bathroom. Guess Maureen just pooped me out! She also has called to ask me if I had found her notes she hid for me. Yes, I found one on the pillow (which I slept on, never noticed) and that's the only one. 2 to go.

Time goes by too fast

Maureen leaves tomorrow a.m. after helping me with so many odds and ends around the house. And I thank her. I now can walk in my bedroom without tripping over my walker from months ago and piles of clothes that are going to a Goodwill box. And my medicine cabinet is so clean and neat. Doesn't take her that long but with my bad shoulder/chest plate it is a job that I kept postponing.

Today she came to church with me. Sat with Rick and Bev, and I think she met the whole town. I know so many people there. A couple of new friends came up to me to say hi after hearing my story last week in church. Am thinking that God is putting me through all this as a lesson for others. I have to think this way otherwise I'd go crazy. Personally the lung cancer doesn't bother me as much as the cancer in the brain. Only because I know what that can do 'cause I went through it in April. This cancer is fast moving and therefore I have to fight it with positive energy and lots of prayers. But honestly it scares me. I think that's the human in me. But as long as there is a breath in me I will continue to go forward.

While at church today I lined up to volunteer in their office. Even if it's just answering phones or possibly stuffing bulletins for Sunday services, it will get me out of the house for an hour or two. Ronee asked me what was important to me and I said "being with people." They know my limitations and upcoming new adventures with my brain, but will take me as often as I can make it there. Even learned that my neighbor volunteers in the office. It was the "boss", Maureen, who pushed me to find something to do especially during these cold snowy months.

Well, Maureen returns home tomorrow. And I know she realizes all that she did for me, cleaning my house and even taking me to my appointment in Pittsburgh. I took her and Patti out to dinner tonight for her good bye dinner. She was here when I needed someone to cry with and that was such a blessing. But I always remember this: when you are crying you can't see the future!

Maureen and Cape Cod family, I will see you as soon as I'm up to traveling that far.
I promise you.

Results are in..

I emailed oncologist in Pittsburgh this p.m. This is my email and his reply:

I was at Dr. Simon's office this a.m. for blood work. She has not got any results from my tests yesterday at Shadyside.
Are you able to pull them up for me? Am anxious as you know, and this coming week I'm scheduled for a treatment.
Thanks, Dr. Brufsky. I appreciate all you do for me long distance. Yesterday my last test ended at 2 p.m. ish. Was exhausted and a bit too late to see you. Sorry.

Dr. Simon said to contact you. I can take that 2 ways. Either she truly doesn't have results or the results are bad. And I don't want to not know for the weekend.

_______________________----

replies
:
The brain lesion has increased a bit (very slightly) and there may be another very small one. I think a gamma knife may be needed. There are still two lesions in the lungs which are slightly larger. Are you scheduled to see Dr. Burton soon?

2nd reply
:
Contact Burton about the cyberkinfe. I would continue the same chemo as the lesions in the lung really are not that much larger (only minimally)


------------------

I have contacted the radiation oncologist. Now waiting for plan of attack.

CT Scans/Mri Brain

Today my sister took me to Shadyside for me tests. A very LONG day, am physically and mentally pooped. Both tests were delayed. I left in tears cause of the pain and emotion of the day. I could never have gone myself. Tomorrow is Barry's turn, but he goes to Hillman Cancer Center. That's where I used to go, but for some reason this new dr. schedules me at Shadyside.

Took 2 hr. nap. And am already looking forward to going to bed. Not sure when I will get the results. Would like something to appear on scans to explain the daily severe pain I've been having. That would be a dream! I passed out a couple "business" cards showing my blog address to some people I was waiting with.

PS. Here's the posting I did last night. Got lost in cyberspace..

¡Soy así que excitado! Mi hermana Maureen está viniendo visitarnos. Su plano llega 9:30 mañana. mañana. Barry y seré cosecha ella para arriba. No puedo esperar….

Snow already

I can't believe that we have that white stuff outside already. And it's not even December. I'm ready to move to Phoenix for the winter. Crazy...weather. I can't take the cold anymore.

A great Sunday

I was truly blessed today by so many people. You know, we may not be Presbyterians but I feel so lucky to attend this church. And I feel at home and at peace while there among so many that truly care for me. This was shown to me today, along with in the past by Lisa H. My friend Patti spoke of our friendship today, in front of the congreagation. She spoke of how we met at the soccer game last year. When I approached her to be in the operating room during my long chest resection. I had not met her until that day. That was the day that our friendship began. She gave a history of what we've been through, explaining how I always try to be positive and have a smile on my face. She spoke after the church had a group blessing. If you wanted to be blessed with oil you just had to approach a church leader and do so. I knew this was happening today. Afer I sat there for awhile I decided to walk to the front of the church. A friend of mine Ronee held out her hand to me. And then we got a blessing. Followed by free hugs. I went back to my seat where I was sitting with Bev and Rick. I sat in the middle of them while both placed their arms around me. This was when Patti spoke.

I wonder why some people go through life without touching anyone, while others quite the opposite. I prefer to hang out with the ones that aren't afraid to hug and to be hugged.

I have audio CD of this sermon and one from the other day. That way I can listen whenever I chose to.

A cold and wet day at the football game...

This afternoon Tim and the band accompanied the football team to their playoff game up near Erie. Now that is "cold country". You have to be a true fan to have gone and sat through that. Tim said it was a mixture of heavy rain to the point you couldn't see across the field and then it changed to snow. The members of the band did not wear their usual wool outfit which would have kept them at least warm. I'm one of those parents that ask at what point does the band not need to go. Our team performed a pre-show, the other team didn't even do their 1/2 time show. I have to thank a parent for having an extra hoodie on hand which Tim quickly grabbed. Even though I have not gone to many games this year due to my cancer, I wouldn't have gone otherwise in this such weather. Will be so glad when the marching season is finally over.

As for tomorrow, I'm already expecting a good day. Patti K. has been asked to speak about me during the church service tomorrow. She knows how tearful I am and wanted to see if it was OK to do. I thanked her for doing this, and for being another voice against cancer. Cancer has made me a stronger person. Something good has grown from something bad. Friendships have formed and have gotten stronger. I will be bringing kleenex with me as someone once told me tears are used to get rid of the toxens inside our body. And heaven knows I have lots of those!

Prayers for all who are suffering

I got a long email from a fellow blogger about her husband. I had never met him but noticed him at a recent sr. football game night. I was there just because of that. He was wearing a hat, appeared to be bald with the look of just feeling crappy. He was in a wheelchair, but when it came time to recognize his sr. daughter he proudly got out of that wheelchair and walked next to his wife to kiss his daughter. It must have taken so much energy to do that. But it was his own personal goal. The non malignant tumor had attempted to be taken out twice, but the heart wouldn't take it. The tumor is on the spine I believe. Like all of us newbies we learn a new conversation, new words to use, new life to live. He is in pain 24-7. Here she blogs for me never mentioning her heartache and husband, so I took the time to reach out to her to say "what's up."

And yes, I agree with her: THIS IS SO SHITTY. I HATE THIS.

May you find peace during your sleeping moments. Hard to believe there is no cure for some pain. Am wondering what drug addicts find in it!!!

Please pray.

Sickness

Sickness has hit our household. Barry didn't work yesterday. Coming out both ends.
As for me, body's aching but that could just be the shot. And last night Tim mentioned his stomach felt funny. Positive thinking. We are not going to get sick.
We have 2 days of shots to go, and then I can stay put. Tim went out for ginger ale last night. Always good to have that in house. I'm heading out for my shot and to drug store.

We went and saw Harvey at High School tonight.

For the past week Tim's been mentioning the school play Harvey. Inviting me to go with his girl friend. I wasn't sure how I would be feeling, and didn't know right up until he was going. The kids put on such a professional production each year. It's perhaps because of the kids/friends he has that are in the show that I wanted to see them in their last school play. Come next fall it's time for college. In the spring they have a musical. This year it will be The Music Man. And with him being in the band that should be fun and I do think Tim will probably try out for that show. He had too much on his plate this time of the year.
And it was nice to be in the same category as a girl friend. As we joked in the car, he said that I was his best friend. Priceless.

I went to Cancer Center for my shot this a.m. As I've said I require 4 daily shots following chemo. And on Fridays they check my white blood cells along with other stuff.

And I got to see a friend there, Anne L. and her buddy Janie. I met Anne through a mutual friend JK, a breast cancer survivor. And when I was hospitalized in April 08
she came to see me in the hospital face to face, rather than a bloggin' friend. She's dealing with cancer and different treatments just as I am doing. It was so great to see her again. We communicate via email and my blog.

By the way, don't say anything about government being slow. My disability check going backwards is in my account today. Less than 2 weeks of applying, and Tim's getting his check mailed to him. I have to say that I definitely worked for those monies. But I'm not looking back, just forward.

Kudos to production of Harvey. It was a lot of fun.

3rd chemo treatment done

And now I'm resting. My blood counts were on the border, but the doctor approved the treatment.

Approved for disabilty

Yesterday p.m. I got a call from social security office. I had applied last Monday and yes, 8 days later I got approved for disability. Tim sill also get checks until he graduates from school. I never thought I would be collecting disability. But I certainly did not take advantage of the system. It helped that my employers worked with me, understood me. Now I can focus on ME and MY FAMILY.

Tomorrow is another chemo day, followed by CT scans,MRI brain on Nov 20th. Moving them up because the cancer is fast moving/agressive. But the fight is not over yet.

My goal is to get Tim into a good college next year. That way I can rest. And we are in the process of that now.

Barry's been wonderful. Drives me everywhere he goes. And to my chemo treatments.
Takes me with him to grocery shop and to do errands. When I ask him if we're doing anything special today, I have to laugh. I'm turning into my mother. And that's an OK person to be!

Keeping you posted

My computer has been sick, but now is almost brand spanking new. Thanks to Barry.
Last night I was up all night, thanks to caffeine soda. As I lay there, 2 plus 2 equalled caffeine. Didn't worry about it. We went to church and had a copy of last weeks sermon copied onto DVD for me. Lisa H. mentioned me and my blog in the sermon, which I didn't go to. As soon as I got home I listened to it. Never had my name mentioned in a sermon in my whole life. Just another reason that explains the area and community. I sat with Bev and Rick, who have become my pew partners. Before the service it's a chance to talk about anything. Today was a good day, probably because it's the last days before my upcoming treatment on Thursday. Aches continued, but I personally felt like a real person. Great day outside, finally repotted 2 dish plants that had been given to me these past months. I lied down in bed after Barry went to work and Tim went to college library. Bad mistake. I couldn't get comfortable with my chest plate and collar bone. Had to take a pain killer. Heard Tim come home and then next time I looked up it was 11:00 P.M. Must have been tired.

Let me back track a couple of days. Friday was sr. night for marching band and football team. Had totally forgotten about that event and having to be outside once again the cold weather. Now I can truly say I'm done with outside activities. The one thing that made it manageable was placing heat pad in my glove, helped just enough. Once I get cold, I tense up and there is no relief. But it was for a good cause, Tim! Am hoping for someone to email me pictures of the 3 of us, as you can't have enough pictures. Want to blog one or two.

Hair update: still there. Am thankful for every day it covers my head especially during these cold months. It's the little things that mean a lot.

PS Tim past his motorcycle drivers test on Friday. And one more thing, I met a lady who follows my blog at the football game finally. I follow hers, she follows me. Good to put a face to a bloggin' entry.

A picture is worth a thousand words. Thanks JK.

 

JANE IS AOK-COMPUTER NOT WORKING!!

just talked to jane briefly and wondered why no posting? the computer is down at present time. she had a good day but at this time had some chest plate pain and was off to bed with a painkiller on board!!adios moe

Getting what I've earned in all my working years.

Yesterday I went with Barry and filed for disability. Never thought I would be doing that, but I've not received a cent from the college in all these months. Perhaps I was supposed go ask but when you don't feel good those things don't pop into your head. And up until the brain tumor I was OK in working part time, and then the cancer found it's way into my head and that was a zinger. Once I knew I had been paralyzed and my speech had been impaired, that shook me up some. It was my husband and my family that pushed me to file with social security, to get something to go with all those times I went to work feeling not so good. But there is now a part of me that feels defeated, as my job was my therapy. Sort of like a death, a loss. But as Tim said to me, now I can concentrate on healing myself. I've raised a good smart child. And on my side is that disability has just included breast cancer with a higher rating as to speed it through the process for people to make claims on it. The woman at the office yesterday a.m. said that with all that I've been through it will be a quick decision.

I had not told my co-workers yet. I wanted to get the papers filed and people told in person. I stopped by the college before lunch to see my bosses but they were at meeetings. I did whisper in HR's ear as we hugged that I had just filed. She said good for you, and that she would be the one that papers would go to. Made some visits to other friends but didn't say a word. Just told the man that heads the department the news.

And I do know that between all the support the college has given us, it will continue. Along with the churches in the area. Heck, it's such a great community.

So when I came in from my job, Barry could tell that I've been crying. It's just another turn in the road of life, and the system is out there to help people like me.
I certainly never abused this illness, and will continue to fight with more strength.

Tim's soccer team went to playoffs in Erie this p.m. Barry drove up by himself. Just heard that the team lost. It was going to be so cold. One thing I did hear was that Tim used his hand warmers to keep warm.

Weekend update

Twice I've had diarrhea with the past few days. Not sure what has caused it. One of days all I did was sleep all day. But have to say that was way my body is healing from recent chemo treatment.

Tim won the soccer game on Saturday and they are now in the playoffs. Yahoo. Barry did see this game on Saturday. But the next game is Tuesday night and it's up in Erie. Not local.

Becky called me at noon today. Asked if I listened to the church on the radio. I said no. She's going to get tape of the sermon as my name was mentioned in Lisa H.'s
sermon. I am considered to be "insprirational". I tell you the truth that there are many days I don't feel that way. And I am this way for my son Tim. If you know me, you know that fact. He's the reason I keep on going forward. I am so proud of him.

Senior Night at Tim's soccer game

Since it was Sr. night for Tim's soccer game, they were recognized and had photos taken with their parents. Or in my situation, with me. It was a large senior group of about 12 or so kids. Had lots of people taking pictures, tomorrow I will download.

When I got there it was just right the temperature, but within 10 minutes I was freezing. First place that freezes is my chest plate and then right arm. Then I moved up to the press box. Sheltered from the elements but still couldn't get the chill off. I couldn't wait to get home but wanted to see the whole game as it could be the last time I get a chance to see Tim play. I was so pleased to have Patti's company up there, she had asked Beckster where I was. The score: a win for us. 12-zero.

The walk to the car seemed to take so long. I was in so much pain. Hard to explain. It's a muscle aching, and as I fight it it gets worse. Didn't even see Tim after the game. He unfortunately did not score any goals. But played well.

Jammies are on, pain meds are in system. Blood work tomorrow.

Hopefully the tenseness will go away soon. I know from this I will be spending most of these evenings to come inside the house.

Thenks Beckster, Rick and Patti.

Happy Anniversary, Maureen and Gene

A welcome light overlooks the colors of fall. So pretty. You have to look for the little things in life that make you smile.

 

I personally don't consider back of the head as I would the front of the face. Do you agree, Jean?

 

One more day of a shot-white blood cells

Tomorrow will be my 4th trip to the Cancer Center for the shot. And by 2 p.m. daily, I am wiped out. I can't wait until Tim is done with soccer, that way I have someone to stay awake for and with. When he's gone to his games, I just sleep. Thursday is Senior night. I'll be there to celebrate his last game of his high school career. Am hoping it is warmer and dryer than today. It was raining and about 37 degrees for today's game. I may just have to stay in press box until the portion of the game that sr.s are recognized. Otherwise, I'm going to be in serious chest plate pain.

Yesterday a dream came true to me. The Pres. of the College and his wife stopped by as promised while on a weekend trip for Homecoming. He had retired a few months ago, and we've been keeping up to date. I was so excited and honored to think they took time out of their busy lives to stop by and give hugs to me. I took a few pictures but promised Jean I would not blog them. But I do have the 3 of us as my wallpaper on my computer. I told them a personal goal for me would be to go visit them in Virginia. Everyone needs a goal, something to look forward to.

While I was at Cancer Center a friend of mine was there. She's going to have a mastectomy in a couple of weeks. Not sure what type, but I as I left her I gave her a hug for good luck.

Heard from my dad on Cape Cod that my best friend from my childhood Mary Lou called and stopped by for a visit today. She got to drive him around the area, as he's not been able to drive himself. She was on Cape Cod for Sunday Night Football and the Patriots I believe. She also contacted me to tell me how much fun she had with the ole fart...

Minor bone aches

That's it. Just minor bone aches for the day. Must mean the shot is working on my white blood cells. Not mentioning my chest plate, because that's a continuous pain.
Listened to church on the radio. Good thing. Could hear lots of coughing in the church. And when I am at home, I can still have my jammies on and under the covers!
Too many germs. By the way, hair still on my head...

Tim and his new friend.

 

My best friend, Tim.

 

I just love this town.