Cancer sucks

I just heard tonight at a soccer game that another friend of mine has been diagnosed with breast cancer. It was just last week that another one of Tim's classmates' mom had a masectomy due to cancer. Cancer is touching so many lives. The following is another portion of Leroy Sievers blog on npr.org that he posted today:
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I guess we could find some solace in the knowledge that we're not alone, that so many others are walking the same path. But that's little comfort; in fact, it's no comfort at all. I think this is all a sign that something has gone wrong. Far too many people are facing cancer. Somehow, some way, it has to be stopped. It just has to be.

-- Leroy Sievers
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They are going to start a food chain for this woman. Now I will be able to give back what others gave to us. Having food delivered was a God sent blessing while we were going through treatment.

Tim, Ben and a couple of their friends.

  

Tim said to me "I love hunting."

  

Another picture...

  

Tim with his 9 pt. buck.

  

A successful first day of HUNTING

Have heard from Lisa that Tim is on his way home with a 9 point buck (8 pts. and 1 baby one growing). They are returning with a total of 4 deer from their group. Geez, more deer meat! Everyone knows how much I like it.... But am pleased that the guys had a good day of hunting.

Congrats. Hopefully they took pics and I will post them online.

Tim has arrived home. What an excited kid. Says "I love hunting." Shot the first and only one he saw at about 9:30 a.m. One shot. Has added a new item to his Christmas list: a gutting knife/field dresssing knife. I think we can accomodate that..

Thanks to Mike P. for taking him once again. We really do appreciate it.

A comment from Leroy Sievers' blog

The following is from a blog I read daily on NPR.ORG, written by Leroy Sievers. I thought this entry for 11/27/06 was worth sharing:

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The Things We Knew We Should Be Doing All Along

“A doctor told me early on that cancer meant many people would want to talk about things I definitely didn't want to talk about. He was right. I have to talk about my body to strangers. I have to talk to my doctors about my greatest fears. I have to talk about my death.”

November 27, 2006 · The following is a commentary from Morning Edition, Nov. 27, 2006:

I was up at the cancer center the other day, waiting for a friend. I just sat and watched all the people. You can tell the regulars right away. They walk with purpose. Off to the lab for blood work. Upstairs for chemo. They're the ones saying 'hi' to the nurses and doctors who've become their friends.

You can tell the people on their first visit just as easily. They have that lost look of new students on the first day of school -- not sure where anything is or what they're supposed to do. The regulars have gotten past that deer-in-the-headlights look. Their faces show determination more than anything else.

I noticed one man in the lobby. He was wearing his bathrobe and he didn't seem concerned at all. I saw a young woman frantically looking for someone. I assumed they were father and daughter. When they found each other, they hugged. The young woman held on tightly. It was a very private moment... in a very public place.

Would they have done that before the man got cancer? Would they even have hugged, except on rare occasions?

I think one of the things cancer does is break down the walls of our pride. A doctor told me early on that cancer meant many people would want to talk about things I definitely didn't want to talk about. He was right. I have to talk about my body to strangers. I have to talk to my doctors about my greatest fears. I have to talk about my death. But it doesn't bother me anymore.

I don't worry as much about keeping up a facade, either. I have cried, more than I ever had before. I've been more open to friends and loved ones about how much they mean to me. Before I got sick, I would've been embarrassed to say some of those things out loud.

In the cancer wards, you see more physical displays of affection. A touch, a hand on the shoulder, some gesture meant to reassure or just let the other person know they're not alone. Cancer teaches that worrying what other people will think and being discreet is something we don't have time for.

What has happened, I think, is that we've all been humbled. Cancer has freed us to do the things we knew we should be doing all along.

I don't think I'll ever forget the image of that man in the bathrobe and that young woman holding on to each other so tightly in the midst of a crowd. For me, that's life as it should be lived.

-- Leroy Sievers


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Cancer gives you a second chance at life.

Hunting season begins tomorrow

Barry met with the lung surgeon on Friday. The surgeon was amazed when he couldn't find a spot that previously was a hold from the procedure. Said that Barry heals quite fast. He was given a return to work note for tonight. This is quite fast considering we were told the normal recovery is 30 days, and it's only been just about 2 weeks. We also heard from Dr. G., Barry's doctor for his chemoembolization. Barry's scheduled for what I believe is his 6th treatment this coming Friday, Dec. 1st. For some reason, this appt. seems so long in coming, perhaps because we had the lung biopsy just 2 weeks ago.

Tim has been gone since Friday a.m. Just called me. They will be heading out early in the a.m. for the first day of buck season. Quite excited. And like here, their weather has been warm considering it's the end of November. Said it has been in the 50's. I hope he has good luck like last year. He told me that he's been playing lots of poker with the guys.

Happy Thanksgiving

We had a beautiful day today in western PA. Temp was about 50 degrees. Tim and I did some morning raking even.

Barry prepared the whole turkey dinner today. The only thing I did was to buy the turkey! We had mashed potato, he even made cranberry orange relish. Everything was delicious. Lisa sent over some dessert for us, a jello/coolwhip/mandarin oranges delight. Mmmmmm. Afterwards, we did the usual thing. Took naps..

Tim leaves in morning for his deer hunting weekend. He's looking forward to another bonding with the guys. And hopefully on Monday they will be lucky.

Barry sees his surgeon in a.m. following his CT scan. Praying for positive results.

What are you thankful for?

Tonight I went to see Tim play an indoor soccer game. While there, I talked as usual with my friend Lisa. She was telling me of their Thanksgiving church service tonight. At one point of the service, each person had to find another person to talk to and to tell them one thing they were thankful for. And that person would in turn do the same. And congregation was given a chance to if they wanted to, to openly stand up and announce what they were thankful for. What a neat idea. I wish I had been there.

Me, I'm thankful for my family. Especially Barry and Tim, and of course parents and all. I'm truly thankful for our friends who have become angels in our lives. And I guess you have to be thankful to God for each and every day we're here. And I'm thankful for the strength that I have, strength that I never knew I had until cancer entered our lives.

What are you thankful for?

Happy Thanksgiving.

Update

Barry's been doing at home what he would have been doing at a hospital: resting. Has not left the house since coming home. Perhaps today we'll venture out. Hasn't been able to get any good sleep, hard to get a comfortable position. Mostly has to stay on his back. Has not taken any pain meds all week.

Appears to be a dry day outside now. Hoping to get some last minute leaves taken away. May attempt to start up leaf blower that my in-laws gave us. That will be Tim's job.

Today Tim will be helping out at an All Star Sr. Soccer game, and then he will be headed for band practice which will lead into the away football game. Won't see much of him today.

I'm off to pick up pies at school. Another fundraiser. Have a good day.

PS. We've been fed like royalty this week..

Pathology report is in

We got the pathology results this a.m. They confirm that the lungs do have the same type of rare cancer as the liver. At least we know. Results show that the liver metastisized (unsure of spelling) to the lungs. Meaning that the original cancer was in the liver. This is what Dr. G. in Pittsburgh had told us when we met him in February. So accordingly, Barry will continue on with the same chemo as he has been getting: directly into the liver. That is the largest area involved, so that is our focus.

He has a follow up appt. with the surgeon in 2 weeks, and if all goes on plan, his next chemo will be Dec. 1st. It's very important to Barry to continue on this same schedule.

As I've said before, knowing is half the battle. Had we not done this surgery, we would not have had this confirmation.

I did go to work today, after giving Tim a treat and driving him to school. Went in a few minutes late. Barry spent the day catching up on sleep, as he didn't get much sleep last night. Rest is the best medicine.

YEAH: Emmitt and Cheryl won Dancing with the Stars!!

Barry is home!

I got to the hospital at about 9 a.m. He had been given some vicadin, which he doesn't tolerate that well. Tends to make him nauseous. Other than that, he had no medications all day. A real strong guy. Didn't even nap. Got up and out of bed, did walk with physical therapist, showed strengths to another therapist. Both said, you're finished! No need for additional therapy. As my dad said, his chemo dr. also stopped by to say hi to him. Nice guy. During the afternoon, one of his dr.s came in and said that he could stay the night, or gome. He chose go home. I do think he'll sleep good tonight in his own bed.

Tim was able to spend the night with a friend last night. I want to thank BJ for that, along with the great meal that was at our home waiting for us. She and another friend of ours, Linda, had made meals for us. Even though Barry shared his hospital dinner with me, we ate the real dinner when we got home at 8 p.m. this evening. You see, angels continue to be around us. THANKS so much for everyone. Especially the prayers. And Tim told me that BJ also made him lunch for school. Tim was funny when he told me this. Said it was first time in decade that he took lunch to school!

Barry amazed me once again. Got discharged at 6:30 p.m. and walked out of hospital, no wheelchair. A tough cookie. I've pulled myself up and out of my pity party mood from yesterday, and have continued to go forward. Once you sit in a waiting room and spend time with others in the hospital, you truly know what else others are going through. There are so many others with stories to tell, and for others to listed to.

Again, thanks.

Barry update

Barry got out of surgery at 2:45 p.m. I spoke briefly to dr. Told me that Barry would be in recovery a minimum of 2 hrs. I am actually using a pc in the waiting room of the hospital. It's been a tiring day, but can't imagine what Barry's been through today. I last saw him at 11:30 a.m. The surgeon told me that Barry came through operation nicely. Upon visual examination of tissue, the patholigist does believe that the tissue is cancer. Even though we've lived with thinking this, it is a shock once again to hear that terrible word. A roller coaster ride once again.
Have talked to Tim, but of course did not mention anything to him. Dr. did say that he may be able to come home as early as tomorrow depending on the drain having no drainage. That's promising.

The place where I'm staying is about 15 minute walk. Not bad. They do have busing until 9 p.m. Not sure if I would walk at night time by myself.

Again. thanks for concerns. Let's pray for quick healing.

My family will update blog tomorrow for everyone

I will be asking one of my family members to place an update on my blog tomorrow after I hear the results of Barry's surgery. Thanks again for all your good wishes and prayers. It will be either a comment or a posting.

Questions

Barry worked on his truck most of the afternoon yesterday. Not what I thought he should be doing days before surgery, but something that he said needed to be done. Wanted to do it because he's not sure how he will be feeling afterwards.

Tim went to the school football playoff game. Barry and I stayed home, not a time to be out in cold drizzly weather. Have to stay healthy. The team won so they will continue on in the playoffs. They remain undefeated.

Last night Barry asked me a question. He asked me what would I feel if the biopsy does show cancer? Didn't really answer him.

A short while later, my brain went into play. And I told him this: for about 18 months we've lived with the understanding that he had lung cancer that went to the liver. And by having this biopsy, this will become clearer to us. My thoughts are: if it is indeed cancer, why has it not changed in size over all these months? Especially since Feb 2006 when he only has had chemo to the liver. And if it is cancer, is it a different kind of cancer? The liver cancer is a very rare type of cancer according to the experts. A lot of questions, and hopefully by the end of the week we'll have answers.

Since Barry continues to be Barry, he will be working tonight. And then we'll be on the road to Pittsburgh by 6 a.m.

Again, thanks for all your thoughts and prayers.

Today I did something that I have not done in a long time, well actually never in November. I drove my scooter to work. And boy was it cold in the a.m. It was about 37 degrees. Froze my butt off (well perhaps my chin and legs). At least the ride home was warmer. I couldn't resist after my boss told me that he was going to ride his new bike to work today. It became a challenge to me. Am glad I did it.

Heard from the surgeon and hospital today. Barry has to be at the hospital Monday at 8 a.m. and the surgery is scheduled for 11 a.m. Before the surgery he will need a EKG. Yesterday when he went to his primary doctor with the prescription for a EKG, their opinion was it was not needed due to having one after the stress test. But we did learn that there is a slight difference in these EKGs, whereas they need one which shows the graphs.

I want to thank everyone for their thoughts and prayers. I am going into this knowing that Barry's been so strong these past 18 months with his chemo treatments, and that he will recover quickly. It's just something we need to do to answer the question, is there cancer in the lungs? The biopsy results will take about 5 days according to the surgeon.

Stress test

Barry and I got to Pittsburgh for his 8 a.m. appt. this morning. The stress test lasted about 4 hrs. as we had been told. They gave him the medication through an IV. The drug had an immediate result on him. He told me that he would never recommend that test to anyone. He felt as if he couldn't catch his breath, discomfort than continued throughout his whole body. I think he felt that for about 10-15 minutes. They took pictures before and after the test. He was able to leave for about 1 hour to eat a meal. We left the hospital at noon.

Since we got home at about 1:15 p.m., I thought briefly about hopping into bed but then figured I should get myself to work for a few hours. Barry was heading to work today, so there was no logical reason that I couldn't go too. They were actually surprised to see me, but by me going there it does show them I also have a good work ethic. I stayed after everyone had left to make up some time. Ended up working about 4 hrs. which is better than missing the whole day. Plus working keeps my mind off of things.

Tomorrow Barry goes for his EKG and blood work at his local doctor's office.

Heading to Tim's 2nd indoor soccer game tonight.

Buffalo Bills game

With all that happened today, I forgot to talk about the Bills game yesterday. First of all they actually WON. That made going to the game even better. Once again it was such a treat to see Mel Jr. play, and of course to see his parents. It was a warm day for November in Buffalo. Didn't even need to wear a hat. I think it was almost 50 degrees. This time we were able to sit with his parents at about the 50 yard line. Can't beat that.

Afterwards we went to his home and pizza was delivered. His aunt from Alabama had come to visit, and she was so nice. Looks just like her sister.

Lung surgery scheduled for Monday

Tim went to Pittsburgh with us today for Barry's appointment with thoracic surgeon. It was a productive appointment. Barry has been scheduled for a stress test this Wednesday, followed by lung surgery this coming Monday, the 13th. I believe the procedure is called a lung resection. Barry will be totally out for the surgery. The surgeon will be going through the chest area and the end result will be taking out a wedge size area of one of the lungs. Then the tissue will be biopsied. This will require a minimum of 2 days in the hospital, as Barry will have tubes for drainage, up to 5 days. The average recovery time is one month. The surgeon wanted this to be done before Barry's next chemo which is first of December. Lots of thoughts in our heads today. It shouldn't be, but it is, but Barry's main concern is not being able to be at his job for these days. Guess that's called work ethic. But you know, your health is number 1. I've already made reservations for myself at the Family House near the hospital for me to stay. Not sure for how long at this point.

We forgot to ask how soon we would know biopsy results. Barry did explain that his whole work life he has dealt with paper dust and silicone. And who knows if the spots that have appeared on the CT scans are that or cancer. I don't think anyone had even inquired of his job and chemicals. We just have so many questions in our heads, a lot of what ifs? What if it isn't cancer? All the chemo drugs had got that were geared to him having lung cancer that spread to liver. Since being diagnosed with the tumors in the liver, these spots on the lungs have never changed.

My head is tired, I can't even imagine how tired he is. But he will never show it.
It's so strange. Almost daily I speak the word "cancer" so matter of factly, but then out of the blue it hits me emotionally. I try to be strong but my human side comes through at times. I let it out but then quietly tell myself to get over it, to keep the faith. And then I move forward.

Girls night out

Today I did leaf clean up with mower and bagging attachment. Yard looks so much better. Tim washed my truck after Barry changed the oil in it.

I'm headed to "girls night" with some friends. Looking forward to it.

In the morning we are heading to see Buffalo Bills play. So a nice busy weekend.

Another Friday...

As scheduled, I had my 2nd MUGA scan this afternoon. I was gone from work for about 2 hrs. My favorite technician was there, and seemed to remember Barry from his scan about 6 weeks ago. They are so kind there, just the way they talk to the patients. His last words to me were "Say hi to Barry for me." Pretty good that he even mentioned his name. I don't know any results of this test, but am sure the cardiologist will call me next week.

Tim's at the High School football game tonight. I stayed home in my nice warm house. Have had an annoying dry cough these past couple of days. And I didn't want to be outside in the 30 degree weather. Plus, Barry had to work and without him it wouldn't be the same.

Just got off the webcam with my parents and sister. It's amazing what technology can do. One of these days I'm going to have to get my mike to work for audio. But to see them is such a treat anyway.

MUGA 2 scan tomorrow

Barry's appointment with lung surgeon has been moved up to this Monday, Nov. 6th. That works out good for us, less waiting time.

I have my MUGA scan tomorrow afternoon. Can't believe it's been 6 months since the first one. And yes, I'll keep you posted on the technician.

We had some roofing material lose on our roof this past week, and I asked our friend Lisa if she knew anyone that did roofing. Had Barry been younger and healthier he would have been able to climb up there and pound in a few nails. She quickly made a phone call to one of her church members who is in construction. He came by today and fixed it. Tim helped him steady the ladder and fetch supplies as needed. Just another story of angels on earth. Thanks!

This evening Tim and I went to see the school play, Arsenic and Old Lace. It was not my decision to go, Tim wanted to support the school and to see his friends who were in it. But you know, I truly enjoyed it. Even though I prefer musicals, this was a talented group of kids. A lot of work. Amazes me how they can remember lines.