Yesterday I went into Pittsburgh and met with neurologists, all that I've known from the past bout with brain cancer. Dr. Dan, the dr. with the great dimples even popped in to say. I took a picture of him and me. I was able to see the MRI of my brain that was taken last Thursday. This was after Dr. M drew a picture of it showing the size. Unfortunately this tumor can't be destroyed by cyberknife, surgery is my only option. It is located in the back of my head, above my neck. The other one in April was near the front of my head. They will be cutting into my head, cutting through bone and removing the tumor. The tumor is bleeding now and -my mind is blank now-and is you know expanding into areas it shouldn't be. Words to explain it are not coming out when I am typing this. Dr. M and Dr E will be the surgeons. Dr. E was one of the neurosurgeons I had in April. And being cute is a requirement for this job! I will be in the hospital for a minimum of 2 days. Same hospital as when I had chest resection, Shadyside. Same hospital as pretty Patti works. I've asked her if she could schedule herself for the OR that day like before. She's looking into that.
The date is Dec. 4. I am asking that no visitors come. And I don't want to offend anyone. My sisters will be updating my blog with news like before. As I've said in the past, I live for this blog. One thing is different this time. I am aware I have a bleeding tumor. This scares me honestly. I asked the doctors what I should be looking out for. Was told that I could be reaching for something in my right hand, and not being able to get it.
My worry continues be with Tim. But I've been told and I know that he is a great person. A kind person. A caring person. And I've brought him up to believe in God. I know deep inside he will be fine. These things I have to think about. Not because I'm negative but because I'm realistic. And I also worry about Barry. His cancer did not change these past months thank God. He cooks for me and takes me everywhere since April. Also has taught himself how to pay bills. Being hospitalized out of the blue in April pushed him into doing that. He's so good to me.
This coming week hopefully will go fast. I've already had an invite to lunch with JoeAnn at the college. I didn't go for chemo today because of the upcoming surgery.
Barry's actually cooking Thanksgiving turkey now. Today will be our holiday as unfortunately he has to work tomorrow. Even though this is happening to me I am thankful for many things. Especially the new friendships I have come upon since this cancer has entered our lives.
A lot to write about. I swear I am going through all of this just to continue to blog!
Happy Thanksgiving.
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15 comments:
You know you are always in my thoughts and prayers! Have a great Thanksgiving meal and rest up for your surgery. Love ya, Mary Lou
You are in my thoughts and prayers. Even though I have never met you in person I know from the comments of your family and friends just how special you are. I had heard about you from my friend Nancy that you worked with at Brookhaven that was when you started your cruscade. Happy Thanksgiving enjoy the turkey. Hang in there.
From one survivor to another.
Linda
Jane, You are always in my prayers. I will be praying extra hard for your surgeons to have the wisdom they need to help you. You are a strong person and you will be fine. We are all behind you, Marie D.
Jane, I'm sitting here in awe of your beautiful note. You may feel that the words are hard to find, but they were so clear to me. You continue to deal with all of this with so much grace and class. I am moved to tears by your strength. Thank you for sharing with us. I feel honored to be a part of you "cicle of friends." The date is on my calendar, and many prayers will be sent your way from now through your surgery and recovery. Love and peace to you! Ann
Tears spilled over immediately after reading this post. Only let them flow for a few minutes then gathered strength to tell Rick. He cried immediately. You have been thru so so much. We quickly regrouped and talked positively about the quality of care @ UPMC. They would not do procedure if they didn't think they could help you Jane. Keep FIGHTING. Your honesty in this blog is so amazing. Love and prayers to you and your family ....now at Thanksgiving and always. Linda(NW)
Jane,
You are the most courageous person I know. And your strength is second to none. You have been through so much; it is just unbelievable that there is more to come. I too will mark my calendar for that day and will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
Love,
Vinny
Love you Aunt Jane
Happy Thanksgiving to the Kaminskes:
I am so thankful for you Jane. Your strong will and gentle spirit touch so many people - more than you realize and in ways you will never know.
We survivors learn fast we have to face reality, and when we do our lives become richer. We instantly have to confront our own morality. In doing so, we realize we have a "second chance", so to speak, and appreciate so much more. You've used your experience to enlighten your son, and shape him to be an incredible young man. He's only just begun.
God is still using you Jane. He still has plans for you. I will pray that you will find peace this week before your surgery, and that God will use the surgeons to perform a miracle on you. Stay strong.
I've said it before - as a Christian you win either way.
Love to you this Thanksgiving and always:
JK
Dad and Kay at Thanksgiving Day.
Jane, what can anyone say to you and yours in these troubling days each is going thru. I only wish that you would say yes, and have at least one of the family with u this coming week, PLEASE? Today family gathered at Moes and she and Doug had prepared a turkey and big ham, with all the fixings. YOU and all were in our thoughts, and prayers. We missed you all!! Oh, will our thoughts and prayers be with you again and again.
Remember the Thanksgiving Card we sent!!! Dad
Jane -
I just caught up on your blog and my heart and love go out to you and your family. Stay strong and may God be with each of you
Love,
Aileen
Saying a big prayer for you and think of often. Love ya! Stay strong Tiger!
Crys
JK, I have never heard the one that you wrote today.....a Christian you win either way. I love that!!!
Lisa P
Jane,
As always, I will keep you in my prayers. Mom (Pat from Westminster) is due to start radiation this week. 6 1/2 weeks of it. She has been very emotional since her mastectomy. I have faith in God to bring her through this, though.
Her left breast and 2 of 11 lymph nodes showed cancer...but her surgeon, Dr. Malay got all of the ugly "C" word out of her.
I think of you daily, Jane and pray for you each and every day!
Maureen
a.k.a. the "other" Mo
Jane,
I just wanted to let you know that you are in my prayers. One of my favorite scriptures is as follows:
Hebrews 13:5-6 "Let your conduct be without covetousness, and be content with such things that you have, for he has said, 'I will never leave you, nor forsake you,' so that we may boldly say, 'The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man (cancer) shall do to me.'" Be strong in the Lord!
Your cyber friend, Sheila
Jane,
You are always in my thoughts and prayers....much luck on Dec. 4...may God Bless You and Yours.....gerry and fred
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