Tuesday, September 30, 2008

no energy

What can I say. Had my last shot today, Friday is blood work. I wish I could blog daily, but even healhy people don't do that.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Steroids 'cause me to be up all night.

And I've known from past experience this happens. I got my white booster shot this am. tomorrow I'll also have my blood checked on Fridays.

Goin to lie down, if only to rest.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Another chemo drug (mitoxantrone ), blue drug. Maybe blue is my lucky color..

This will be my only posting for this day. Just wanted to say thanks to everyone that has been praying for us. The local Presbyterian Church asked me the other day if she could coordinate such a thing. The names of the 2 women are Lisa H. and Ronee and I said yes. Yes for it to be a prayer chain only at this time. I thought it was a great idea.

Couple of pre meds, nausea and steroid. Chemo is only about 20 mins. via IV also.

Went right to bed when I got him. Next 4 bus. days I have to go for daily shot to bring my white blood cells up since chemo will know them down. Fridays are my blood work days. By the time I have next treatment (3weeks) I will have lost my hair they say. Unable to sleep, exhausted and have been told it will be that way for awhile. Just when you feel good, you go through the cycle again. Steroids fight sleep.

FIRST NEW CHEMO DRUG COMPLETED

It is moe again. I spoke to Jane quickly at suppertime and she said the chemo drug infused in 20 minutes or so and was able to be home after l l/2 hour or so. Still on oxycontin heavy strength. Very excited about a new PRAYER CHAIN FOR HER-she will discuss the importance of this to her healing etc. Also spoke of the new ANGEL CAR
DRIVER VOLUNTEERS that will allow her to get daily med injections the days following chemo when Barry is unable to drive her. Thanks to all in gods country that help her get thru this rough road in life. Adios moe

Monday, September 22, 2008

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Happy Anniversary, MOM AND DAD

Sept. 22 is my dad and mom's anniversary. Let's do some comment bloggin' for them.

MUGA scan scheduled tomorrow a.m. Joanne S. will drive me.

Oncologist in Pittsburgh has increased my pain meds due to pain (no kiddin').

Happy Anniversary!

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Going to soccer game tonight..

I continue to sleep/rest a lot. Today I'm planning on seeing Tim's soccer game at 7:30 p.m.. Have not seen him play in a long time.

Today was his first day at local senior residence as a volunteer. I think he'll enjoy that job. Already had a good day. Can understand through his own personal experience that just by listening you can make someone's day a lot better. He says the activities coordinator reminds him of my sister Maureen. Full of energy and loves working her patients. One of the patients remembered him from before. And the lady that hired him had a picture on her desk of when he was at the Sr. Prom last year!

Updated blog 10:36 p.m.

The team they played, played dirty in my opinion. And unfortunately it went into double OT and they scored with seconds to go. Final score: the dirty team 1, the clean team 0. And I do believe one of the refs needs to have his eyes checked to notice how dirty the other team played. At times I felt like I was at a football game! But with the pain I was in, I can't waste my energy yelling and getting upset.
I just know that I am proud of how our team handled themselves.

Planning on going to Presbyterian Church tomorrow. And hoping the College Pres. and his wife Bev is there. For some reason the Beckster has not met them. Can you believe that? I know someone that she doesn't know... Also am hoping to sit with Patti. Did I mention that the elderly gent from that church stopped by my house to pray with and for me. His name is Joe and he's one of the kindest men I have known.

Friday, September 19, 2008

I spent the whole day in bed..

Basically I've been in bed all day today. Still uncomfortable. Just wanted to see if I in fact didn't do anything, if that would make my pain go away. For some reason it is very painful in my left armpit area, especially when I was to reach a bit too much.

Barry's at the game tonight. I didn't want to go.

Monday I'm having my heart scan, a baseline for how my heart appears before this strong chemo drug. My first treatment will probably be Tuesday or Wednesday next week. Will cause hair loss. Now everyone can see my craniotomy scar. No longer is my head a perfect shape. Time to have Retta trim my hair. Not only because it's going to come out, but it just needs it.

I can tell when the 12 hrs. is about up, pain comes back stronger.

Thanks Maureen for updating my blog when I'm not up to it. This blog means everything to me.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

THANK GOD FOR BARRY!! TIM TOO!!

Spoke to Jane last night and she was very discouraged with all that was happening!! It is bad enough to have the cancer but not to have electricity is the pits. Power just back on noon Thursday. She said she was able to use the laptop computer in the basement. Barry had gotten a second generator and therefore power could be used one room at a time. She spoke of being thankful for Barry setting up generator in his spare time. How can things RAIN anymore on me she said-I am so discouraged. She cried some and then settled down. She constantly said to me that HER BLOG IS HER LIFE-HER BABY and at this time I was watching it for her. I cried too. Also spoke of lack of hot water for shower, having to wash Tim's soccer clothes by hand. She did enjoy a hot burger on the grill and was excited to get some cookies from Janet a former neighbor where Tim mows the lawn. She will have muga scan next Friday and at this time is at local oncologist office with Barry to have a plan of care. The chest pain was a problem yesterday and she is hoping it will be less today. Thanks for all the entries!! There is excitement in her voice when she speaks of them. adios moe

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

HITTING IT ON THE NOGGIN!! however it is spelled!

Just spoke to Jane and the pain is less. She told me the blog postings keep her going!! She was able last night to read them quickly as they still have no power. PLEASE KEEP POSTING!! YEH TIM for getting a 96 on your first college test in psychology----an AAAAA Yes Jane I will yell it around cape cod today!!adios moe

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

I'M GOING TO FIGHT,FIGHT,FIGHT

It is Moe posting for Jane. Jane and Barry just returned from Pittsburg oncologist.
They still have no electricity and won't get it until end of week but she wants u to post anyway. Thank u Jody for the cd u left on my doorstep that the church recorded! The oncologist told them there are lots of different options to fight the new cancer spots. She told me the liver is a small spot which is good. Thursday she will meet with her local oncologist who will discuss treatments with Pittsburg oncologist for a new plan. The medicine will be BLUE this time and not the red as the initial Adiamycin drug way back when. Jane keeps her sense of humor even though her chest pain is making it hard to talk!! She says she is staying PATRIOTIC with the color regime. Once again she will have the hair loss. Treatment will be every 3 weeks. A muga scan will be done as prior as the drug can be toxic to the heart. The chest pain is pleurisy-presently needs to get under more comfort control. Please post as the positive energy is a LIFESAVER for her in so many ways. Once again she tells me she is off to bed in the jammies and it is still too hard for her to get the phone as the chest pain is out of control at this time as she took less med prior to going to the city. adios moe

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Pain is no better

Pain is no better, would say it was a 10. Hard to even talk for a period of time.
In bed most of the day, didn't even go to church. But listened to it on the college radio station for about 1/2 the sermon. Shortly after it was done I heard a car come up driveway. Asked Tim to see who it was. You'll never guess. President Rick and his wife Bev with one of my favorite things: chocolates that I enjoy from his office! I am so blessed. I now have had 2 Presidents in my house. People have told me that has happened 'cause of who I am. You get what you give.

Will stay home tomorrow if pain is not any better. Next day Tuesday is my appt. with oncologist.

Friday, September 12, 2008

God has a plan for me

Everyone knows how important a plan is. But I've had to change my way of thinking of a plan. I now realize that the situation has changed, so therefore the plan has to. I will continue to be optimistic but realistic at the same time. I'm running out of body parts you know! And my new way of thinking is this: It's all in God's plan! and hands anyway.

I once heard an interview from Randy Pausch, they mentioned that they do not have to like the cancer but will deal with it. Or something like this.

My main concern now is to get control of the pain, which hasn't happened yet. Per my local oncologist (and Maureen's suggestion) we've switched the class of pain meds.
Spent most of the day in bed, tossing and turning, not being able to get comfortable. My chest continues to have a burning sensation, a tightness as if my chestplate is going to explode. I look back at the past couple of weeks, when i was going over speed bumps I would stiffen to lessen the impact. So it was changing previously.

And I got good news from Tim today. He tried out and got a position with the Chamber Singers with the chorus! Had told me last year that when the auditions were going to happen, that was his intention.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Cancer Sucks, haven't I said that before?

I woke up this a.m. with pain in my chest. By 9 a.m. Barry took me to E.R. CT Scan was done of my chest, and the cancer has grown. More nodules in lungs (along with growth), something with chest wall (can't remember) and it looks like it has spread to my liver. I've cried a lot today. I just don't hate cancer, I hate the effect it will have on Tim.

Have not rested yet today, but wanted to post an update. Pain continues, pain meds have not kicked in yet.

By the way, since we live in small town the Reverend Lisa just called to say I'm on their prayer chain. She didn't realize I had just got the news today. I was talking about Tim and how proud I was of him. I told her this: and she said sounds like a great idea.

I am so proud of Tim. He just got his class rank and he's in the top 10 out of 126 students! I wasn't going to blog, but what the hell. I want to scream at the top of my lungs today to tell everyone this good news, especially today. So open up your windows and here I come...

Why should we only talk negative, and be afraid to talk positive?


8 PM Update
Pain is no better. It's a constant stinging pain, which because I have to breathe then there is of course pain. Have taken two more dosages of pain med. My main concern right now is to get the pain under control. Got out of control last night as I thought I was calmly sleeping. No way.

The ER room has made an appt. with my Pittsburgh oncologist to go over these results. That'll be Tuesday at 11:45 a.m. This cancer lives up to its reputation, fast moving and aggressive. It was only 5 weeks since my last CT scan, and VOILA.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Quote that caught my eye (and Barry's)

"Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome." -
-- Isaac Asimov

Naptime for me

All set to get into my jammies and nap. Hopefully the phone won't ring..

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

Chemo now at work..

As planned I saw Dr. Simon at 9:45 a.m. after my blood work was checked and found to be OK. I am emotionally pooped today, here's a very brief summary to explain (if receiving chemo wasn't enough!)

home by noon, grilled cheese and tomato sandwich quickly cooked, people who have bought Barry's old truck stopped by for us to go to local bank 1 p.m. to close on their loan, there for a couple of hours due to screwup in their original branch location, off to AAA to sign off on title.

two good things came from this day. truck sold and cash is in our hands! but since I had no break after getting chemo my body has paid a price, physically and mentally. Oh yes, insurance has been canceled on truck. That was also sitting on our heads. Within 5 mins. of getting home which was about 3:45 p.m. I was in my jammies. Don't get me wrong, I took my meds before my head hit the pillow and took the phone off the hook. I couldn't wait to fall asleep, aches and all.

Just got up at 7 p.m. Of course my sister Maureen wondered how my medi port worked. Am very thankful I have that. A small blessing.

Now I'm sending my son to get Subway. No intention of cooking or even reheating. PS again. Tim just intercommed me and he's making egg sandwiches. Mmmm.

Am hoping tomorrow is less eventful. I already know my account will have more money in it.

November 6th is my next CT/MRI scans. Will be a little over 3 months.

Monday, September 08, 2008

All set for another round of chemo tomorrow..

That's it. Another round of chemo is set for tomorrow morning. As they say, bring on the drugs! Fight fight fight

Sunday, September 07, 2008

I love Sundays

We went to church this a.m. and sat with the President of the College and his wife, Rick and Bev. And I got to introduce Tim to both of them. It was so nice. The greeters at the door today was one of my co-workers and her husband. It is so nice when you know so many people, and they know you. After the service I introduced my self to the new Pastor of a couple of months. It's a small town when you are meeting someone for the first time and they that they've heard about you. Kind of makes you feel special, in a very special way. His name is Ralph and I've followed his own blog. So he asked me for my blog address and have emailed it to him. His blog entries are more wordy than mine though. Must be the preacher in him! On his first day at the church the congregation wore bow ties, all in honor of him 'cause that's what he usually wears. He got a kick out of it.

One of my favorite songs was song today. Open the Eyes of My Heart. My favorite one is Awesome God though. I truly get so much strength from music, especially the lyrics. Here is a chorus from a Christian singer Natalie Grant that touched my heart:

I will stumble
I will fall down
But I will not be moved
I will make mistakes
I will face heartache
But I will not be moved
On Christ the Solid Rock I stand
All other ground is sinking sand
I will not be moved

----------------------

What I get out of these lyrics is I will stumble, fall but eventually stand with Christ.

Friday, September 05, 2008

I'm still here.

The nerve test was just what I had expected. Was no trouble at all. Two doctors each did a portion of their test. After it was done, the last doctor mentioned that he didn't find anything wrong. I've emailed my neurologist this week for the results, and he's having trouble tracking them down. Not knowing what is causing me this pain is very hard to understand. But I'm not giving up, I know there is pain especially collar bone area and right side of shoulder. The collar bone is hurting now when I take a deep breath in. And the chest plate continues to bother me. I am so sick and tired of having this pain. I know I should not whine but after awhile it gets to you.

The four hours I work at the college helps me a lot. It works both ways I think. But by the last hour I've just about had enough. I'm so blessed to be in such a caring environment there. It's just what I need. When I was in the hospital in April I was thinking of the job, not feeling I could return to it in same capacity. But God and my bosses took care of that.

I've not posted this week 'cause I've just not felt like there is anything new to report. But have heard from my sister that my dad was concerned about me. Perhaps I should just type at least a word or two each day so people know I'm still around.

Monday, September 01, 2008

EMG Nerve Test tomorrow

I'm headed into the city tomorrow a.m. for an EMG nerve test, upper extremeties.
Test takes about an hr., and I've been told the 2nd part is when they insert a needle into the muscle. Depends on your tolerance level what you will feel. I'm thinking positive.