Getting what I've earned in all my working years.

Yesterday I went with Barry and filed for disability. Never thought I would be doing that, but I've not received a cent from the college in all these months. Perhaps I was supposed go ask but when you don't feel good those things don't pop into your head. And up until the brain tumor I was OK in working part time, and then the cancer found it's way into my head and that was a zinger. Once I knew I had been paralyzed and my speech had been impaired, that shook me up some. It was my husband and my family that pushed me to file with social security, to get something to go with all those times I went to work feeling not so good. But there is now a part of me that feels defeated, as my job was my therapy. Sort of like a death, a loss. But as Tim said to me, now I can concentrate on healing myself. I've raised a good smart child. And on my side is that disability has just included breast cancer with a higher rating as to speed it through the process for people to make claims on it. The woman at the office yesterday a.m. said that with all that I've been through it will be a quick decision.

I had not told my co-workers yet. I wanted to get the papers filed and people told in person. I stopped by the college before lunch to see my bosses but they were at meeetings. I did whisper in HR's ear as we hugged that I had just filed. She said good for you, and that she would be the one that papers would go to. Made some visits to other friends but didn't say a word. Just told the man that heads the department the news.

And I do know that between all the support the college has given us, it will continue. Along with the churches in the area. Heck, it's such a great community.

So when I came in from my job, Barry could tell that I've been crying. It's just another turn in the road of life, and the system is out there to help people like me.
I certainly never abused this illness, and will continue to fight with more strength.

Tim's soccer team went to playoffs in Erie this p.m. Barry drove up by himself. Just heard that the team lost. It was going to be so cold. One thing I did hear was that Tim used his hand warmers to keep warm.