The Waiting Game

Last night I did take a sleeping pill after midnight as I was unable to fall asleep. And it worked so well that I was able to dream. Got out of bed at about 10:45 a.m. Since my dr.'s appt. is tomorrow at 9 a.m., I won't take one tonight. Don't want to oversleep.

The doctor had said he would have the biopsy results today or tomorrow, so today is an anxious day for me. Stomach is a bit upset today in anticipation. Phone rang a while ago, but it was just a solicitor. I wonder if the doctor will just wait until he sees me tomorrow rather than call me today.

4:30 p.m. I had to call the doctor's office. Couldn't wait any longer. Have spent some time in bathroom today. I held the angel that Linda gave me as I dialed the #. Aleesa said the report for the biopsy was in and that it was NEGATIVE for cancer cells. Wanted her to say the exact words clear margin but she wouldn't. Just said it was a good report. The doctor was not in office. She said he will go over everything in morning with me. After hanging up the phone, I sat for awhile looking out the front window and eventually tears poured down my face. I can't even describe what I'm going through. Who would have thought that words such as mastectomy and cancer and chemo would be part of my daily conversation. But after seeing a 17 year old on Dr. Phil's show last week as a breast cancer survivor (mastectomy), I am truly blessed.

Have called family about this good news but will hold off on telling others until I hear it tomorrow from Dr. Henwood. It's just my personal decision.

Tim sound asleep on his bed at 5ish. I had told him the good results earlier. It must be exhausting to a kid to have to go through this also. Thank God he's strong.