Saturday, January 10, 2009
Yesterday and my doings
I can't retype all that I typed because it took me so long, plus I can't remember it.
I had a MUGA heart scan in the afternoon after going out to lunch with Barry. He dropped me off at the hospital and went for his own blood work at cancer center. I was early for my appt. and they were early. Worked out perfectly. Carrie and Kerry (unsure of spelling) were the technicians who worked the machine. The reason I got messed up on my blog was because I was trying to find a picture of a MUGA machine.
Which I did but by the time I went to put it on my blog***you got it. Gonzo.
I had run out of business cards promoting my blog so just told the techs the website address. They found it in no time and just loved to look at the entries and pictures. Then they wrote the address down on a piece of paper to look at later.
Everyone has been so kind. But as the saying goes, be nice to others and they will be nice to you. Nothing genious about that.
Barry and I ran to outlets. He got a couple of pans. Got home at 4 p.m. and I went to lie down. I think you will know the answer to this question: what time did I get up? You got it. After midnight. I missed dinner, Tim making good brownies and Barry baked some muffins. That's why I was still up at 1 a.m. last night.
We have been having snow all day yesterday and today. No accumulation yesterday, but during the night it came down bucket loads. I think we have about 1 foot and it's still snowing now and into tomorrow. I hope it stops for church tomorrow.
Barry and Tim are outside shoveling and snow blowing.
I have seen some changes in my body lately. Even when I walk (especially in a.m.) I lose my breath and it aches on my left. I've been taking prescription strength ibuprofen along with an anxiety pill. I feel the best when relaxing on the recliner.
Even when I just empty the dish washer that takes my breath away. That's why Barry has told Tim to do that job for me. May take him awhile but it gets done. And isn't that what it's all about?
Well, I've got to go see how the boys are doing outside. I used to love snow removal. Most people dislike it, but I always enjoyed that and cutting the grass.
Call me weird.
I had a MUGA heart scan in the afternoon after going out to lunch with Barry. He dropped me off at the hospital and went for his own blood work at cancer center. I was early for my appt. and they were early. Worked out perfectly. Carrie and Kerry (unsure of spelling) were the technicians who worked the machine. The reason I got messed up on my blog was because I was trying to find a picture of a MUGA machine.
Which I did but by the time I went to put it on my blog***you got it. Gonzo.
I had run out of business cards promoting my blog so just told the techs the website address. They found it in no time and just loved to look at the entries and pictures. Then they wrote the address down on a piece of paper to look at later.
Everyone has been so kind. But as the saying goes, be nice to others and they will be nice to you. Nothing genious about that.
Barry and I ran to outlets. He got a couple of pans. Got home at 4 p.m. and I went to lie down. I think you will know the answer to this question: what time did I get up? You got it. After midnight. I missed dinner, Tim making good brownies and Barry baked some muffins. That's why I was still up at 1 a.m. last night.
We have been having snow all day yesterday and today. No accumulation yesterday, but during the night it came down bucket loads. I think we have about 1 foot and it's still snowing now and into tomorrow. I hope it stops for church tomorrow.
Barry and Tim are outside shoveling and snow blowing.
I have seen some changes in my body lately. Even when I walk (especially in a.m.) I lose my breath and it aches on my left. I've been taking prescription strength ibuprofen along with an anxiety pill. I feel the best when relaxing on the recliner.
Even when I just empty the dish washer that takes my breath away. That's why Barry has told Tim to do that job for me. May take him awhile but it gets done. And isn't that what it's all about?
Well, I've got to go see how the boys are doing outside. I used to love snow removal. Most people dislike it, but I always enjoyed that and cutting the grass.
Call me weird.
I lost all that I just typed!!
Boo hoo. I just lost all that I typed. Considering the time, you'll have to wait until tomorrow. Sorry....
Friday, January 09, 2009
MUGA Heart Scan today 1:30 p.m.
Yesterday I didn't get up until noon. Not that I was asleep the whole time. Checked to see if Tim had 2 hr. delay at school. He didn't. But that didn't matter because he was sick. Some kind of flu. When you put eyes hurt together with being chilled/hot you get the flu in my opinion. He actually got up before me. I asked him if Barry had mentioned anything about me to him, and he said he did. His response was the same as all the other times to me. He said it's OK, you'll (I'll)
make it through it, you've done it before. He gives me inspiration. From that point on yesterday I was my same old self. Take away the pain and I am left with my positive outlook.
Eventually I showered and got into some clean jammies. My afternoon was full of visitors. It was a great afternoon. Lisa H. stopped by because a little birdie told her I was having a difficult time. She shared a prayer and had a nice conversation.
Linda F. had given me a beautiful heart necklace this week which I showed Lisa H.
Next thing I knew she was taking off a pair of heart shaped earrings she had been wearing. It was her gift to me so I would have a perfect match. You can't beat sincerity like that.
(off the subject: last night my sister Maureen called. She was crying out of concern for me. I said not to cry. Her remark was remembering what kind of environment we live in. All the caring people. Truly sincere people.
The kind of people when they offer to do something, they mean it. I agreed with her. She stopped crying right away.)
Later in the evening (unplanned which makes for a better time) 4 of my friends stopped by to say hi. One brought rosary beads (made from rose pettles) blessed by the pope. We shared so many laughs as I lay in my recliner. My illness was not the center of conversation which was nice. I had told them of the earrings being given to me, and of the comment I should have made to Lisa H. I should have said hey, I like your car! Perhaps she would have given that to me.! I think they were here for about 2 hrs. but I never looked at the clock. When asked how I was feeling, I said that pain was minimal in the position I had been in. Alright if I don't take deep breaths. I truly enjoyed the evening. An evening of not watching TV.
Tim had gone to bed while my friends were here. You know he's sick when he does that.
And now for today. Tim woke up and he did go to school. I got up at about 9:30 a.m.
Will shower and get ready for my MUGA heart scan today. From my past memory I think it takes a total of two hrs. Barry will be taking me as he has his own stuff to do.
make it through it, you've done it before. He gives me inspiration. From that point on yesterday I was my same old self. Take away the pain and I am left with my positive outlook.
Eventually I showered and got into some clean jammies. My afternoon was full of visitors. It was a great afternoon. Lisa H. stopped by because a little birdie told her I was having a difficult time. She shared a prayer and had a nice conversation.
Linda F. had given me a beautiful heart necklace this week which I showed Lisa H.
Next thing I knew she was taking off a pair of heart shaped earrings she had been wearing. It was her gift to me so I would have a perfect match. You can't beat sincerity like that.
(off the subject: last night my sister Maureen called. She was crying out of concern for me. I said not to cry. Her remark was remembering what kind of environment we live in. All the caring people. Truly sincere people.
The kind of people when they offer to do something, they mean it. I agreed with her. She stopped crying right away.)
Later in the evening (unplanned which makes for a better time) 4 of my friends stopped by to say hi. One brought rosary beads (made from rose pettles) blessed by the pope. We shared so many laughs as I lay in my recliner. My illness was not the center of conversation which was nice. I had told them of the earrings being given to me, and of the comment I should have made to Lisa H. I should have said hey, I like your car! Perhaps she would have given that to me.! I think they were here for about 2 hrs. but I never looked at the clock. When asked how I was feeling, I said that pain was minimal in the position I had been in. Alright if I don't take deep breaths. I truly enjoyed the evening. An evening of not watching TV.
Tim had gone to bed while my friends were here. You know he's sick when he does that.
And now for today. Tim woke up and he did go to school. I got up at about 9:30 a.m.
Will shower and get ready for my MUGA heart scan today. From my past memory I think it takes a total of two hrs. Barry will be taking me as he has his own stuff to do.
Wednesday, January 07, 2009
Liquid or something on my lungs. What else?
I was in pain this am. again. Think it has been 4th day. Called oncologist office and they scheduled a stat CT scan locally. Both were side by side. Barry drove me,
I had the test and they said to stick around for the results. Since Barry was out in truck, (12:45 p.m. and my appt. with oncologist 1:15 p.m.) I told him he could go home. I then called my neighbor Mrs. S. to pick me up when I was done at oncologist.
To make long story short, there was a bit of confusion. I was to go next door to oncologist and they would tell me outcome. Right then I knew somethin was not kosher. All along I have known by body, and today was no exception. She told me that I was getting that pain due to liquid out of lungs (I can't really remember what she said, should have some one come with me), the main pain is belt high left side waste. And she listened to my lungs and she could hear the liquid.
#2-I've inherited a large lymhph node on my left breast. I had for some reason found it myself the light before. Feels so squishy to me. Probably would show up as cancer knowing my history. And if it was to be drained, there could even be cancer behind me. I tell you, my lucky day.
That cancer is so fast moving. And it is so painful. Hard to breathe in and out.
She's ordered a MUGA scan for Friday at local hospital. Not sure on transportation at this time. SHe is doing another MUGA scan to make sure my heart is doing OK with the chemo. Think it was borderline when I started, so if it has decreased capacity
will have to change the chemo drug.
Still have to call dr. tomorrow to ask questions: is there pain relief, will this liquid dry up or grow, what's the next step?
Today my CT scan technician got to talking with me. I explained my blog, gave her my card that shows my blog address. She said I must inspire so many people and then asked for a hug. We hugged and couple of tears flowed from her eyes. I agree.
I'm not afraid of dieing, but it comes down to being able to say I've done a great job with Tim. One of my goals was accomplished: got him into a good college. My next goal is to see him graduate from high school this June 2009. People have told me that you can tell Tim is a good rounded off person. And that comes from his surroundings.
When I got home this p.m. I went to bed after Barry went to work 3:15ish. I just woke up at 10:30 p.m. Didn't know where I was. Tim was already in bed, heard he was coming down with something. Probably no school for him in a.m.
Just to breathe normal is very painful. My to do list will include a call to Dr. S.
oncologist.
Wasn't able to do lunch with Patti, but has been rescheduled for tomorrow.
I had the test and they said to stick around for the results. Since Barry was out in truck, (12:45 p.m. and my appt. with oncologist 1:15 p.m.) I told him he could go home. I then called my neighbor Mrs. S. to pick me up when I was done at oncologist.
To make long story short, there was a bit of confusion. I was to go next door to oncologist and they would tell me outcome. Right then I knew somethin was not kosher. All along I have known by body, and today was no exception. She told me that I was getting that pain due to liquid out of lungs (I can't really remember what she said, should have some one come with me), the main pain is belt high left side waste. And she listened to my lungs and she could hear the liquid.
#2-I've inherited a large lymhph node on my left breast. I had for some reason found it myself the light before. Feels so squishy to me. Probably would show up as cancer knowing my history. And if it was to be drained, there could even be cancer behind me. I tell you, my lucky day.
That cancer is so fast moving. And it is so painful. Hard to breathe in and out.
She's ordered a MUGA scan for Friday at local hospital. Not sure on transportation at this time. SHe is doing another MUGA scan to make sure my heart is doing OK with the chemo. Think it was borderline when I started, so if it has decreased capacity
will have to change the chemo drug.
Still have to call dr. tomorrow to ask questions: is there pain relief, will this liquid dry up or grow, what's the next step?
Today my CT scan technician got to talking with me. I explained my blog, gave her my card that shows my blog address. She said I must inspire so many people and then asked for a hug. We hugged and couple of tears flowed from her eyes. I agree.
I'm not afraid of dieing, but it comes down to being able to say I've done a great job with Tim. One of my goals was accomplished: got him into a good college. My next goal is to see him graduate from high school this June 2009. People have told me that you can tell Tim is a good rounded off person. And that comes from his surroundings.
When I got home this p.m. I went to bed after Barry went to work 3:15ish. I just woke up at 10:30 p.m. Didn't know where I was. Tim was already in bed, heard he was coming down with something. Probably no school for him in a.m.
Just to breathe normal is very painful. My to do list will include a call to Dr. S.
oncologist.
Wasn't able to do lunch with Patti, but has been rescheduled for tomorrow.
Tuesday, January 06, 2009
No decadron for me, PA said...
When I don't write there's usually a reason. I did speak to my nerosurgeon's P/A
and she said that decadron is not given, too many side effects. After I hung up I thought of saying death is a side effect I'm living with. I had emailed dr. for him to call me back, but he had given my email to her to call me. Said I should call primary dr. or oncologist. He only deals with the brain. Mentioned also that I felt my speech was regressing from the surgery. My voice hesitates at time just like before. I'm aware of it, have to think before I talk. This was talked about in my 2nd email. She had to call me back as she was not aware of that one. She did and dr. suggested MRI to see if things are OK. Told her that I will get back to her if it occurs more regularly.
Pain: presently (past couple of days) I've been having pain when I breathe in and out. Also, on my left side of my body, where top of my underwear is hurts. Am not sure what body part is there. I was going to make an appt. with oncologist, but it does appear better this evening. Will call her if it is still there in a.m.
I'm going backwards I think. Back to my long naps. Back to being tired. Back to old speech. I wish I could go back those days before Christmas. Especially in church. I felt I was on top of the world. A zombie is what I call myself.
On to a good note. I'm looking forward (yes) to having lunch tomorrow with Patti.
Have not done lunch in a long time.
and she said that decadron is not given, too many side effects. After I hung up I thought of saying death is a side effect I'm living with. I had emailed dr. for him to call me back, but he had given my email to her to call me. Said I should call primary dr. or oncologist. He only deals with the brain. Mentioned also that I felt my speech was regressing from the surgery. My voice hesitates at time just like before. I'm aware of it, have to think before I talk. This was talked about in my 2nd email. She had to call me back as she was not aware of that one. She did and dr. suggested MRI to see if things are OK. Told her that I will get back to her if it occurs more regularly.
Pain: presently (past couple of days) I've been having pain when I breathe in and out. Also, on my left side of my body, where top of my underwear is hurts. Am not sure what body part is there. I was going to make an appt. with oncologist, but it does appear better this evening. Will call her if it is still there in a.m.
I'm going backwards I think. Back to my long naps. Back to being tired. Back to old speech. I wish I could go back those days before Christmas. Especially in church. I felt I was on top of the world. A zombie is what I call myself.
On to a good note. I'm looking forward (yes) to having lunch tomorrow with Patti.
Have not done lunch in a long time.
Saturday, January 03, 2009
Cyberknife complete
The cyberknife procedure took about 2 hrs. I only asked for one break near the end. Went to the bathroom just to stretch. Dr. wouldn't prescribe decadron (steroid) which in my opinion was the miracle drug. He had mentioned going back on it after cyberknife as my equilibrium could be effected. Without it all I do is sleep and my pain is minimal. Like before I went to the Cape it hurts when I breathe in and cough. Don't know what that's all about. I just know the days I was on the steroid after coming out of hospital were the best days for me. I felt great. I may end up asking my oncologist for script. (or just go to nearest street corner!)
JOKE
JOKE
Friday, January 02, 2009
CYBERKNIFE OF BRAIN COMPLETE!!
just spoke to jane quickly when i got home from work 415p-she is resting and said it took TWO HOURS!! ADIOS MOE
Thursday, January 01, 2009
Too much to remember...
Let me try to remember what happened since I last posted:
My brother Doug and his daughter came to Cape to see us on Monday. It's his only day off, so any time he spent with us is a million dollars. It was great seeing both of them. Another chance for Tim to see a cousin. We went out to lunch at local restaurant. They came down in their motorhome. I had seen him (not that I remember) in April when I had my first brain tumor. So he was quite pleased to see me walking/talking.
Tuesday we went back to see his parents and to say good bye to them.
We heard about a snow storm coming east. So we talked it over and decided to leave Tuesday night instead of the next morning. The 3 of us napped in the afternoon hrs.,
had some scallops wrapped in bacon, and left the Cape at 8:30 p.m. We were glad we did this. Oh yes, we threw pennies out the window as we drove over the bridge. This means that we will return. I think it's something I made up years ago. But it works.
Barry and Tim shared the driving both ways. I got to stay in the back seat, blanket and pillow beside me. I didn't really sleep, but I had the luxury of not driving.
On the return trip Barry drove all but the last 3 hrs. I don't know how he did that.
We didn't get home until 6:10 a.m. All the driving was during the night. Not my cup of tea. We hit snow flurries where it always snows, Snow Shoe. At times they even close that part of Rt 80 because of the weather. The flurries didn't last that long. And then bad weather came the last 45 minutes or so of the trip. Tim was driving. It snowed along with mist. You could see temperatures rise and fall, nearing the 32 degree mark. I think this was Tim's initiation into winter driving.
At some parts of the trip you couldn't see ahead of you. White out conditions.
I was so glad to get off the main road and into my driveway. I sighed a bit of relief. And kissed Tim and Barry for a safe trip. Was glad I wasn't driving because if it was me, I would have pulled off the road and found a nice hotel!
Yesterday after arriving home in the morning we immediately went to bed. I think Tim was in bed within 10 minutes. I was the last person to wake up after a few hrs.
And I didn't even drive. Later in the day the boys were watching a movie and I went to take a nap. Tim had a New Years Eve party to attend later in the evening. Do you know what? I slept right through dinner, Tim going out to party and new years eve. I didn't even see the ball drop. Maybe it didn't! I was awaken at 1:30 a.m. when Tim and his friend came home from the party. I truly must have been pooped.
And today Barry was out to the store while I slept. Then the boys got up, and it was my turn to get out of bed finally at 9:30 a.m. I guess I had enough sleep. I didn't dare take a "nap" today.
Oh by the way. Dr's office called and I'm scheduled for cyberknife again tomorrow at 11:30 a.m. It's going to be for 90 minutes this time. And for just one session. Unlike before. I'm definitely going to take a pill to relax. At least I know what to expect this time.
Well, I hope I covered it all. You can't put a price on a good time. I'm blessed to have such a family considering that so many families are not close. And I'm blessed to live in such caring surroundings.
I want to wish everyone a healthy New Year. I am lucky. Who can say that they've been through 2 brain surgeries and are able to write and talk about it? None that come to my mind.
PS. As I drove away from my parents house that night, I did not shed any tears. I did all that I wanted to do. It was meant that Maureen came to see me recently as she was sick while we were there. I did miss seeing my oldest sister Eileen. She too was sick. She's the sister who likes to clean my house!
My brother Doug and his daughter came to Cape to see us on Monday. It's his only day off, so any time he spent with us is a million dollars. It was great seeing both of them. Another chance for Tim to see a cousin. We went out to lunch at local restaurant. They came down in their motorhome. I had seen him (not that I remember) in April when I had my first brain tumor. So he was quite pleased to see me walking/talking.
Tuesday we went back to see his parents and to say good bye to them.
We heard about a snow storm coming east. So we talked it over and decided to leave Tuesday night instead of the next morning. The 3 of us napped in the afternoon hrs.,
had some scallops wrapped in bacon, and left the Cape at 8:30 p.m. We were glad we did this. Oh yes, we threw pennies out the window as we drove over the bridge. This means that we will return. I think it's something I made up years ago. But it works.
Barry and Tim shared the driving both ways. I got to stay in the back seat, blanket and pillow beside me. I didn't really sleep, but I had the luxury of not driving.
On the return trip Barry drove all but the last 3 hrs. I don't know how he did that.
We didn't get home until 6:10 a.m. All the driving was during the night. Not my cup of tea. We hit snow flurries where it always snows, Snow Shoe. At times they even close that part of Rt 80 because of the weather. The flurries didn't last that long. And then bad weather came the last 45 minutes or so of the trip. Tim was driving. It snowed along with mist. You could see temperatures rise and fall, nearing the 32 degree mark. I think this was Tim's initiation into winter driving.
At some parts of the trip you couldn't see ahead of you. White out conditions.
I was so glad to get off the main road and into my driveway. I sighed a bit of relief. And kissed Tim and Barry for a safe trip. Was glad I wasn't driving because if it was me, I would have pulled off the road and found a nice hotel!
Yesterday after arriving home in the morning we immediately went to bed. I think Tim was in bed within 10 minutes. I was the last person to wake up after a few hrs.
And I didn't even drive. Later in the day the boys were watching a movie and I went to take a nap. Tim had a New Years Eve party to attend later in the evening. Do you know what? I slept right through dinner, Tim going out to party and new years eve. I didn't even see the ball drop. Maybe it didn't! I was awaken at 1:30 a.m. when Tim and his friend came home from the party. I truly must have been pooped.
And today Barry was out to the store while I slept. Then the boys got up, and it was my turn to get out of bed finally at 9:30 a.m. I guess I had enough sleep. I didn't dare take a "nap" today.
Oh by the way. Dr's office called and I'm scheduled for cyberknife again tomorrow at 11:30 a.m. It's going to be for 90 minutes this time. And for just one session. Unlike before. I'm definitely going to take a pill to relax. At least I know what to expect this time.
Well, I hope I covered it all. You can't put a price on a good time. I'm blessed to have such a family considering that so many families are not close. And I'm blessed to live in such caring surroundings.
I want to wish everyone a healthy New Year. I am lucky. Who can say that they've been through 2 brain surgeries and are able to write and talk about it? None that come to my mind.
PS. As I drove away from my parents house that night, I did not shed any tears. I did all that I wanted to do. It was meant that Maureen came to see me recently as she was sick while we were there. I did miss seeing my oldest sister Eileen. She too was sick. She's the sister who likes to clean my house!
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Sunday on Cape Cod..
Today was spent at Barry's parents house. His brother Matt and his wife Wendy, along with their 4 children, came down from their home to spend time with us. So for the first time in a long time the whole family was together. And yes, I did take pictures and as soon as I get home will post some on this blog.
It was a different kind of day. In just looking at Tim interact with his cousins, all the kids are growing up so fast. And the common denominator was the subject of college. Like I said, it was so nice to listen in on their conversations. Tim told me later on that it was his first time that he can remember talking to one of his female cousins.
A bit tired right now. As Maureen would say, "a lot of input."
PS. Was sad :( to hear that Maureen is home and had to call out sick for tomorrow. Feeling yucky. Sad to hear but more impt. to be separated. Don't need to get sick ourselves.
As Maureen would say: adios.
It was a different kind of day. In just looking at Tim interact with his cousins, all the kids are growing up so fast. And the common denominator was the subject of college. Like I said, it was so nice to listen in on their conversations. Tim told me later on that it was his first time that he can remember talking to one of his female cousins.
A bit tired right now. As Maureen would say, "a lot of input."
PS. Was sad :( to hear that Maureen is home and had to call out sick for tomorrow. Feeling yucky. Sad to hear but more impt. to be separated. Don't need to get sick ourselves.
As Maureen would say: adios.
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Surprise Mom and Dad...
Barry, Tim and I surprised my parents and went to Cape Cod. And they were truly surprised. I had told my sisters and brother that we were going and to keep a secret. Also told a couple others who did what they were told to do. Good job!
We left for our journey at 4 a.m. right on time. Stopped to see his cousin Deb and her parents who live in Ct. Barry had brought her a computer from spare parts as hers just died. One person's trash is another person's gold. Basically a new computer, glad someone is using it. We visited for a couple of hours, hadn't seen them for a few years. Then we got back on the road for another 2 1/4 hrs.
At about 4 p.m. Barry gave me permission to call my dad and I did. Before telling him where we were I told him that I felt a desire for lobster. Finally I told him where we were. Talk of surprise. Sure did surprise him.
My away message today said "Family is best medicine." That was a clue I had left.
I am so excited to be with family. It's been a long year. And just glad to be alive.
To everyone that helped me keep this secret, THANKS!
We left for our journey at 4 a.m. right on time. Stopped to see his cousin Deb and her parents who live in Ct. Barry had brought her a computer from spare parts as hers just died. One person's trash is another person's gold. Basically a new computer, glad someone is using it. We visited for a couple of hours, hadn't seen them for a few years. Then we got back on the road for another 2 1/4 hrs.
At about 4 p.m. Barry gave me permission to call my dad and I did. Before telling him where we were I told him that I felt a desire for lobster. Finally I told him where we were. Talk of surprise. Sure did surprise him.
My away message today said "Family is best medicine." That was a clue I had left.
I am so excited to be with family. It's been a long year. And just glad to be alive.
To everyone that helped me keep this secret, THANKS!
Friday, December 26, 2008
'twas the day after Christmas
And Tim and I were at the mall by 10 a.m. I bought another pair of jeans and a top, at a store I wouldn't have been in for it not to be a sale. Christopher Banks. And a couple more pillow cases. I must say for what we've been through that it all came out to be a nice Christmas. Plus we didn't go overboard. Tim got just what he asked for, which wasn't much. As for us, we were just thankful beyond words just to be alive. And you can quote me on that! Not many people can say that honestly.
I didn't plan on it, but when I lied down for nap I basically slept the whole day. I find myself doing that again since I'm off the steroids. The dr. told me that it has nothing to do with them, but I disagree. Will know for sure when I go back on them for the cyberknife. I just felt really good last week.
That's it for now.
Thankful for yet another Christmas to celebrate.
I didn't plan on it, but when I lied down for nap I basically slept the whole day. I find myself doing that again since I'm off the steroids. The dr. told me that it has nothing to do with them, but I disagree. Will know for sure when I go back on them for the cyberknife. I just felt really good last week.
That's it for now.
Thankful for yet another Christmas to celebrate.
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Monday, December 22, 2008
Saturday, December 20, 2008
It feels great to be alive..
Tim took me to a mall today. And the whole time I was thinking, it feels great to be alive! At times I just stood still. Thinking of the past few months. Where I've been and where I'm about to go. And for the first time in a long time I had nice clear thoughts in my head. Sort of put the past in the past. The words that are said during these days have an extra special meaning this year: Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. And for those of you that are having trouble still, believe me your time will come. You will also feel the joy that I'm presently feeling. Just keep focused on the future. Stay positive.
I've been there.
I've been there.
Friday, December 19, 2008
Got fitted for another Mask-cyberknife once more
Today Barry and I went to Pittsburgh for me to be fitted for another Mask/cyberknife once more. The actual mask took about 5 minutes to be molded on my face. The wax they use is hot, and they just rested on my fact for about 5 minutes. Is made out of many holes so one can breathe. This procedure was much easier than the first one I had a few months ago. I was still in the hospital and as Eileen remembers that was not a good day for me. A lot easier today. We then took this mask that was created across the street to another hospital to have an MRI done, with and without the mask on. This took about the longest. Think it was more than 90 minutes, not sure 'cause I actually was able to doze since I took an ativan before. The next steps involve the dr. co-ordinating where the radiation is going to be aimed. This could take about 10 days. Probably after Christmas. And voila, procedure was complete and we left Pittsburgh. By the way, we only had lots of rain today. You can keep the snow.
Tomorrow Tim has volunteered to take me to a mall. I've been nagging everyone lately. And to think I'm not a shopper usually. But for some reason it's in my head to go shoppping. I've been thinking about what I've been through these past few months, how lucky I've been feeling. Who would have guessed that I would have gone through 2 procedures with the brain within a few months of each other. I call it a second chance on life. And for me to be without pain is such a greatful relief. Any more blessings I get are a bonus to me. I truly feel blessed.
Hard to believe next week is Barry's birthday and Christmas. House is all decorated. No cards have been mailed. May just send out some electronic email to update people who don't realize what has happended to us these past couple of years.
Whatever I do, it will be simple.
Again, thanks to all!
Tomorrow Tim has volunteered to take me to a mall. I've been nagging everyone lately. And to think I'm not a shopper usually. But for some reason it's in my head to go shoppping. I've been thinking about what I've been through these past few months, how lucky I've been feeling. Who would have guessed that I would have gone through 2 procedures with the brain within a few months of each other. I call it a second chance on life. And for me to be without pain is such a greatful relief. Any more blessings I get are a bonus to me. I truly feel blessed.
Hard to believe next week is Barry's birthday and Christmas. House is all decorated. No cards have been mailed. May just send out some electronic email to update people who don't realize what has happended to us these past couple of years.
Whatever I do, it will be simple.
Again, thanks to all!
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Saying of the day...
Never lose a chance of saying a kind word.
William Makepeace Thackeray
English novelist, 19th century
William Makepeace Thackeray
English novelist, 19th century
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Christmas luncheon with my department
I'm going to the Christmas luncheon with my department today. Looking forward to seeing everyone. Should be lots of fun. Hard to believe that it's only been 2 weeks since I had last surgery. When I was going to bed, lots of things were swirling in my head. One of them was this: any one can put up a tree, but decorating it with love is another story!
As planned I went to the luncheon. It was a great time. Then I took the time to go throughout the different departments to say hello. Now that was a treat in itself.
It was a nice day for me. I will have no problem sleeping tonight.
Tonight I got to see Tim and the High School chorus perform in the Christmas Show.
Yes, we are still able to say Christmas. It was my first chance to see him as a Chamber Singer. I really enjoyed that.
As planned I went to the luncheon. It was a great time. Then I took the time to go throughout the different departments to say hello. Now that was a treat in itself.
It was a nice day for me. I will have no problem sleeping tonight.
Tonight I got to see Tim and the High School chorus perform in the Christmas Show.
Yes, we are still able to say Christmas. It was my first chance to see him as a Chamber Singer. I really enjoyed that.
Happy Birthday, BECKY
To all my bloggin' buddies, it is a real special treat to tell you that it's Becky's birthday today.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Angels truly walk amongst us
We are truly blessed to have settled in this town. My parents were able to see this first hand when they were here in April 2008, only a few short months ago. They saw what we had already seen, felt what we've already felt. My heart is filled with love because of these angels. We got to experience these feelings during the past couple of days. One night the local Presbyterian church stopped by and sang Christmas Carols. And tonight our tree became a Christmas Tree with the help of a parishioner and her tiny elves. Heck, they would have cleaned my toilets had they needed to be cleaned! Let's not forget the balsam Christmas centerpiece that was delivered today. Again, words can not say how greatful we are.
Thanks.
Thanks.
Cyberknife once again....
Yesterday was productive day in the city. Got my stitches taken out of my head. And today I can't wait to shower that area. It has been suggested, and I will have it, to do cyberknife once again. I will go in to the city this Friday to be fitted once more for a new mask. Can't recycle the old one, facial may have changed a smither of an inch. Therefore the radiation would be off. I may need about 3 treatments, followed by MRI and eventually back to chemo. Considering it's the middle of December and these things take time to map out, I would think it's going to be first of year to get back on track with the chemo.
Just wanted you to know.
Been there, done that!
Happy Birthday, Pat. (chemo buddy) Hope you enjoyed the day. You deserve it.
PS. I continue to feel like a brand new person. It's a wonderful feeling.
Other than a voiceless voice, I am doing great.
PSS. 11:10 a.m.
I'm not worried about cyberknife this time. May have something to do with it not being the first time for me.
Just wanted you to know.
Been there, done that!
Happy Birthday, Pat. (chemo buddy) Hope you enjoyed the day. You deserve it.
PS. I continue to feel like a brand new person. It's a wonderful feeling.
Other than a voiceless voice, I am doing great.
PSS. 11:10 a.m.
I'm not worried about cyberknife this time. May have something to do with it not being the first time for me.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Another day great to be alive
I woke up this a.m. by 8 a.m. and immediately felt that it was good to be alive. Had not felt that way in months. I felt a need to go shopping out at the outlets so I eventually grabbed Tim to drive me there. Actually he did quite a lot of knick knack shopping for himself and I didn't buy anything for myself. But that's OK, as I was walking around the stores I felt good to be alive.
After the outlets were done, I came home and took a much needed nap. Woke up just in time to be sung to by carolers from local Presbyterian Church that we attend. I don't think I can ever remember that having been done to me in all my life. They all came on a tractor. Songbooks in their hands, and full of joy in their songs.
A truly touching moment. Thanks to all who came and once again brought joy to us.
For dinner we went to Tim's girlfriend's house for a small Christmas gathering. It was such a nice time, and I thought to my self had this been 2 weeks ago I would not have been able to sit for that period of time without an ache or two.
Yes, Eileen you have a good memory. Tomorrow I meet with Dr. Mintz radiologist surgeon from 10 days ago and then go across the street to another hospital to meet with Dr. Burton about the possible need for additional radiation to my brain. Either way, I can take the news. Have already done so once, so what's another time?
After the outlets were done, I came home and took a much needed nap. Woke up just in time to be sung to by carolers from local Presbyterian Church that we attend. I don't think I can ever remember that having been done to me in all my life. They all came on a tractor. Songbooks in their hands, and full of joy in their songs.
A truly touching moment. Thanks to all who came and once again brought joy to us.
For dinner we went to Tim's girlfriend's house for a small Christmas gathering. It was such a nice time, and I thought to my self had this been 2 weeks ago I would not have been able to sit for that period of time without an ache or two.
Yes, Eileen you have a good memory. Tomorrow I meet with Dr. Mintz radiologist surgeon from 10 days ago and then go across the street to another hospital to meet with Dr. Burton about the possible need for additional radiation to my brain. Either way, I can take the news. Have already done so once, so what's another time?
State Champs!
From local newspaper:
HERSHEY — They are nicknamed the Burrs, but Saturday afternoon at Hersheypark Stadium, it was more like B-r-r-r!
West Catholic High football team's overwhelming offense was chilled by Wilmington's “Hounds Hammer” defense, particularly on the game's penultimate play for the PIAA plateau. Shane Wagner tripped up Burrs' quarterback Curtis Drake at the goal line on an extra-points try in the 2nd overtime, enabling Wilmington to win the Class AA commonwealth crown via a 35-34 victory.
Wilmington wins state title in double-OT thriller
Congratulations also go out to band for staying by the football team throughout the season.
HERSHEY — They are nicknamed the Burrs, but Saturday afternoon at Hersheypark Stadium, it was more like B-r-r-r!
West Catholic High football team's overwhelming offense was chilled by Wilmington's “Hounds Hammer” defense, particularly on the game's penultimate play for the PIAA plateau. Shane Wagner tripped up Burrs' quarterback Curtis Drake at the goal line on an extra-points try in the 2nd overtime, enabling Wilmington to win the Class AA commonwealth crown via a 35-34 victory.
Wilmington wins state title in double-OT thriller
Congratulations also go out to band for staying by the football team throughout the season.
Friday, December 12, 2008
It's GREAT to be ALIVE
It's coming back to me. The good feelings. Every day is getting better. Am feeling more like myself from months ago. And continue to thank God especially for allowing me to go through all this. I call it learning to live.
Amazing how things can change. At least for the presence that is positive! And that's all you should live for, the present.
Amazing how things can change. At least for the presence that is positive! And that's all you should live for, the present.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Every day is a bit easier...
Each day I'm allowing myself to accomplish the stuff which I had put off. Like cleaning out my drawers. Taking it easy, no rush. But am enjoying it. And now my drawers are in order. Still have to ponder my checking account statements from April! In just looking around the house, it just seems to be in good shape. Tree isn't up yet, but that should happen soon. Wreath is up and our welcome lights are always on in the windows.
And emotionally I feel so much better than I had the past couple of months. I do believe that my body was crying 'cause it knew something was bad inside and was getting bigger. Just a feeling that I have. It seemed that I cried almost daily over just little things.
Did not take any additional pain meds today for the first time. That is good news.
Looking forward to seeing surgeon and radiation oncologist on Monday. I'll be having my stitches out of my head and then will meet to discuss the need if any for future radiaition of my brain.
So yes, I'm at ease finally. Last night at the band concert I was trying to think back over the past few months of what has happened to me, and it was just a blur. I think blurry things are put in your mind for a purpose.
And emotionally I feel so much better than I had the past couple of months. I do believe that my body was crying 'cause it knew something was bad inside and was getting bigger. Just a feeling that I have. It seemed that I cried almost daily over just little things.
Did not take any additional pain meds today for the first time. That is good news.
Looking forward to seeing surgeon and radiation oncologist on Monday. I'll be having my stitches out of my head and then will meet to discuss the need if any for future radiaition of my brain.
So yes, I'm at ease finally. Last night at the band concert I was trying to think back over the past few months of what has happened to me, and it was just a blur. I think blurry things are put in your mind for a purpose.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
One week post surgery. Christmas Concert!
As the title says, I went to see Tim perform in the school's Christmas Concert and it's only been one week since surgery. People were so shocked to see me, and I had such a good time. At times I would just close my eyes and listen to the music. Since he's a senior this year, these are the last of the performances in High School.
Went all day without nap. I rested before the concert in my bed but didn't fall asleep. Actually for the first time in a long time I yawned as I left the concert.
Oh yes, last night I went to be at 2 a.m. and slept right through until 7:30 a.m.
Got Tim off to school and then I went back to bed until 10ish. Nice sleep.
Did hear from dr.'s office about my MRI. This was comment in the email:
The MRI of the brain showed no findings to suggest residual tumor.
I see my neurologist this coming Monday to remove the stitches that are still in my head. And then I have an appt. with the radiation oncologist to see if he suggests more radiation such as cyberknife. That should take up much of the day.
Went all day without nap. I rested before the concert in my bed but didn't fall asleep. Actually for the first time in a long time I yawned as I left the concert.
Oh yes, last night I went to be at 2 a.m. and slept right through until 7:30 a.m.
Got Tim off to school and then I went back to bed until 10ish. Nice sleep.
Did hear from dr.'s office about my MRI. This was comment in the email:
The MRI of the brain showed no findings to suggest residual tumor.
I see my neurologist this coming Monday to remove the stitches that are still in my head. And then I have an appt. with the radiation oncologist to see if he suggests more radiation such as cyberknife. That should take up much of the day.
Tuesday, December 09, 2008
T'is Tuesday
This a.m. I was up and dressed by 8:30. That's incredible for me. And then I changed a couple of beds and did some laundry. Don't worry, I knew when to stop.
By the afternoon, I am feeling in the area of the chest plate the feeling you get when you have been nursing and it's that time. Weird. But have had that feeling in the past. So I did take some medicine for the discomfort. Not sure what will happen when the steroids are all out of my body. Wondering if I could possible stay on them just so I am not feeling this feeling.
After Tim got home, I had been antsy being inside all day. So I asked him to drive me to dollar store. In and out of there in less than 10 mins.
Have not heard from surgeon. Will call office tomorrow.
By the afternoon, I am feeling in the area of the chest plate the feeling you get when you have been nursing and it's that time. Weird. But have had that feeling in the past. So I did take some medicine for the discomfort. Not sure what will happen when the steroids are all out of my body. Wondering if I could possible stay on them just so I am not feeling this feeling.
After Tim got home, I had been antsy being inside all day. So I asked him to drive me to dollar store. In and out of there in less than 10 mins.
Have not heard from surgeon. Will call office tomorrow.
Monday, December 08, 2008
A pretty good day IMO
Had another good night's sleep (once I eventually fell asleep). Steroids are still in my system making it difficult to fall asleep. Geez, wasn't I just writing of how much sleep I was getting! and being tired all the time!
Got up with Tim when he went to school even. Then just went back to bed and rested
until Barry got up. He's been so good to me. Takes good care of me as I would expect. Went to oncologist office this a.m. for a prescription and saw my friend Ann and her office buddy Jane. Nice seeing them.
By the p.m. when Tim came home my arm was getting stiff, not painful. So I took a pill and then lied down. Am thinking of washing my hair again today. It's got so much dried blood, etc. in the area of incision, just dabbing the area right now.
Did not hear from surgeon today on my MRI results. I did email him and left a message. Probably will contact me tomorrow. No rush really, am not going anywhere.
Just need time to heal.
Again, thanks!
Got up with Tim when he went to school even. Then just went back to bed and rested
until Barry got up. He's been so good to me. Takes good care of me as I would expect. Went to oncologist office this a.m. for a prescription and saw my friend Ann and her office buddy Jane. Nice seeing them.
By the p.m. when Tim came home my arm was getting stiff, not painful. So I took a pill and then lied down. Am thinking of washing my hair again today. It's got so much dried blood, etc. in the area of incision, just dabbing the area right now.
Did not hear from surgeon today on my MRI results. I did email him and left a message. Probably will contact me tomorrow. No rush really, am not going anywhere.
Just need time to heal.
Again, thanks!
Sunday, December 07, 2008
Best night of sleep in such a long time..
Was in my bedroom by 11 p.m. and still after listening to my clock radio it was 1:11 a.m. Just layed there with my decadron (steroid) which is slowly being reduced daily for about 15 days. Next time I was up for bathroom and I don't know what time that was. And voila, 7:45 a.m. came up and I said to myself "Geez, that was a GOOD sleep." I needed that. Took my meds and hopped back into bed for a couple more hours and then partially listened to my church service on the radio. And I was able to stay in my pjs'. Got dressed for the day and already blogging. right now whatever pain I had is mostly in the past. My headturning excersises are working, just need to work on the up and down of head. No complaints.
Forecast is snow showers most of the week. Inch or 2 daily. Tim's gone for paper and then will shovel a bit. He has to be at local Nutcracker Suite for NHS, total of 4 hrs.
Now I'm heading downstairs. Am being very careful in my walking as I'm not a steady walker right now. But that will improve. Heck, I just had someone cutting muscles and bone in my skull on Wednesday. Incredible. And it took just 90 mins. Wow.
Thanks for your continued prayers. They are working.
Forecast is snow showers most of the week. Inch or 2 daily. Tim's gone for paper and then will shovel a bit. He has to be at local Nutcracker Suite for NHS, total of 4 hrs.
Now I'm heading downstairs. Am being very careful in my walking as I'm not a steady walker right now. But that will improve. Heck, I just had someone cutting muscles and bone in my skull on Wednesday. Incredible. And it took just 90 mins. Wow.
Thanks for your continued prayers. They are working.
Saturday, December 06, 2008
I AM HOME
And yes, it's Jane. Writing once again. Short but with lots of gratitude.
A long week but I slept through the night, best time all week.
Thanks for following me on this journey.
A long week but I slept through the night, best time all week.
Thanks for following me on this journey.
Friday, December 05, 2008
Welcome Home Jane....
I just want to say welcome home to you. Enjoy your own bed and jammies.....You will get a good nights sleep I hope. I also want to thank everyone for saying prayers for you during your hospital stay. I love you, Barry and Tim.
Love to all
Eileen
Love to all
Eileen
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