Jane's stay in hospital....

DO YOU BELIEVE JANE IS HOME!!

I just got home from work and called Jane's cell and she answered me and said she was at home. EXHAUSTED-got meds etc. Talked quickly. Apparently busy day this am-had fallen sometime at hospitalchecked out and ok to go home. She is very tired and will be sleeping in her own bed tonight. Talk about a drive thru brain surgery huh!! Adios moe

Jane today....Pretty Patti took the picture...

I spoke with Jane tonight for a few minutes. She was in alot of pain, but pretty good spirits. Thanked me for helping with her blog. Love to all...Eileen

PAIN IS A GOOD THING!!

Talked to Barry after work and he handed Jane the phone and I was sooo happy to hear her clear speech, her total mental awareness. her complaining of head hurting her-pain means u are aware which is a good thing, telling me her head/neck area looks like someone beat her up. Patti had called me 7am and told me she had just seen Jane and would send me a picture she took. Eileen will post soon. She has been moved out of ICU area and to another floor. Remember a year ago she told us to take pics so her story could be better told. Adios and I will tell her who has blogged and thanks to all for the morale support to family and Jane. adios moe

This is where Jane spent her time yesterday....

SPEECH IS AOK!!

At 8pm I talked to Barry and Tim on way home from hospital. After a long while they were able to visit with her in icu-stayed about an hour. SPEECH IS AOK!!! Eyes all puffed up and bothering her-they tape your eyes shut during surgery-giving her eye drops which she did not care for. Jane very uncomfortable with chest plate etc-getting pain med. Crying which I would do so who cares!! Ativan given with the pain med. Barry and Tim almost home. I work tomorrow and Patti to work and she will call me at work after she sees her and I will post as soon as I can. Adios and yes there is a GOD!!
Thanks for the prayer wave!!!!

SPEECH IS AOK!!

This is for all who love Jane...thanks....

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Love Eileen

Jane Tues nite....

Surgery is done.....

Barry just called Moe and Jane's surgery is done. They will be able to see her in about 1 1/2 hours. Her speech is off a bit, but could be from being put to sleep. I am glad this is over for her now. Now is the time for her to heal and get home to her own bed and jammies....Lets all hope for a speedy return home for her. Thanks for everyone's prayers today for all the Kaminske's
Love to all
Eileen

I just talked to Jane...

This is Eileen this time.....I just talked to Jane. She sounded great. Her speach is so much better. Her surgery is in 90 minutes. Barry and Tim are there with her now. Please have happy thoughs and prayers for her, Barry and Tim for this hard time. My love to all her friends that are there in Pa.
Love you all
Eileen

SENSE OF HUMOR PRICELESS!!

Patti on a break and with Jane as she requested some sherbert couple minutes ago. Says surgery noonish a birdie told her-to take four hours or so prior to recovery and will go to neuro intensive care afterwards. Jane laughed and said she did not think she had four hours of work in her brain!!! how upbeat!! i told her of new blogs names as they happen night moe

JUST TALKED TO JANE AROUND 5PM

said the headache is much less-had been bad for a couple days! surgery to be tomorrow afternoon sometime. had mri brain and her head is marked up for surgery. she had read my blog entry yesterday this am but not the responses-i told her who had posted up to date-names and there is always excitement in her voice!! thanks to all adios moe

JANE IS ALREADY IN THE HOSPITAL!!

Just talked to Barry and he told me I could post on the blog. This am Jane continued to have the headache that would not go away and as a precaution the neurosurgeon instructed them to go directly to the hospital for evaluation. After a short er wait of less than 10 minutes it was determined that Jane needed to be admitted-was given some iv steroids and then up to hospital room. It is now necessary to have the brain surgery done tomorrow-Wednesday!! Jane and her family need that LARGE PRAYER WAVE TO START ASAP!!. Will keep u posted and yes Patti her nurse anesthesia friend was with her in the er and will make sure all goes well tomorrow-it is nice to have a friend close by. adios moe and ps jane last night we lit a candle for u at Fatima Shrine Christmas Lights in town. love u lots

JANE IS RESTING AND GETTING ENERGY NEEDED FOR THIS WEEK!!

It is Moe with a short posting. I have talked briefly with her several times between the necessary "cat naps" to build up all that necessary POSITIVE ENERGY for the surgery this week. Her blogging friends are definately part of her getting through all this mess!! I learned several things when I was with them last week. Barry-u are a tremendous help to Jane always-u cook, u drive,u never complain about your own health,u provide love to jane your wife and to tim your son!! Jane u always go forward with such an amazing attitude that I could never keep up with-your friends and family help u in so many ways!! I saw u ever so relaxed the night we saw Neil Sedaka at the college and at church on Sunday-I wish that shoulder pain would disappear! Jane is so proud of Tim-his band playing,school activities-trying out for the Music Man play,soccer,hunting,and just being a senior in High School. I want to especially thank Tim for sleeping on the couch so I could have his room. A great big BRAVO TIM for being accepted at Penn. State in Erie!! As I always tell Jane-keep up the POSITIVE ATTITUDE. Remember those 2 lucky charms u have now-HOPE AND HARMONY as they will get u through any times ahead!! love u lots and as i always say ADIOS moe

On the way home we stopped at a warehouse store, and this name caught our eyes. Funny. Considering that is where we are from.

 

Maureen was here along with all the other snow. I could live without that!

 

This Christmas poinsettia and amaryllis are gifts from my Dad. He insisted that Maureen purchase them for me. Am glad she did.

 

We took Maureen out to small home cooked diner type restaurant, with good food.

 

Patti was taking my picture while I was taking her picture.

 

I just love this picture: Maureen and Tim. Don't you?

 

Pretty Patti giving me the peace sign, me and Maureen. We stopped by her house to say hi. I don't think she ever has a bad hair day!

 

One of my angels, Dr. Dan P. (neurologist who saved my life in April 2008). Dimple man

 

Brain surgery next week

Yesterday I went into Pittsburgh and met with neurologists, all that I've known from the past bout with brain cancer. Dr. Dan, the dr. with the great dimples even popped in to say. I took a picture of him and me. I was able to see the MRI of my brain that was taken last Thursday. This was after Dr. M drew a picture of it showing the size. Unfortunately this tumor can't be destroyed by cyberknife, surgery is my only option. It is located in the back of my head, above my neck. The other one in April was near the front of my head. They will be cutting into my head, cutting through bone and removing the tumor. The tumor is bleeding now and -my mind is blank now-and is you know expanding into areas it shouldn't be. Words to explain it are not coming out when I am typing this. Dr. M and Dr E will be the surgeons. Dr. E was one of the neurosurgeons I had in April. And being cute is a requirement for this job! I will be in the hospital for a minimum of 2 days. Same hospital as when I had chest resection, Shadyside. Same hospital as pretty Patti works. I've asked her if she could schedule herself for the OR that day like before. She's looking into that.

The date is Dec. 4. I am asking that no visitors come. And I don't want to offend anyone. My sisters will be updating my blog with news like before. As I've said in the past, I live for this blog. One thing is different this time. I am aware I have a bleeding tumor. This scares me honestly. I asked the doctors what I should be looking out for. Was told that I could be reaching for something in my right hand, and not being able to get it.

My worry continues be with Tim. But I've been told and I know that he is a great person. A kind person. A caring person. And I've brought him up to believe in God. I know deep inside he will be fine. These things I have to think about. Not because I'm negative but because I'm realistic. And I also worry about Barry. His cancer did not change these past months thank God. He cooks for me and takes me everywhere since April. Also has taught himself how to pay bills. Being hospitalized out of the blue in April pushed him into doing that. He's so good to me.

This coming week hopefully will go fast. I've already had an invite to lunch with JoeAnn at the college. I didn't go for chemo today because of the upcoming surgery.
Barry's actually cooking Thanksgiving turkey now. Today will be our holiday as unfortunately he has to work tomorrow. Even though this is happening to me I am thankful for many things. Especially the new friendships I have come upon since this cancer has entered our lives.

A lot to write about. I swear I am going through all of this just to continue to blog!

Happy Thanksgiving.

Appt. with radiation oncologist tomorrow.

I have an appointment with Dr. Mintz tomorrow at Presbyterian Hospital at noon. This will be consultation about what we should do next about my brain cancer. I have met him before when had cyberknife of the brain a few months ago. I'm glad they are wasting no time. My scheduled chemo day is Wednesday due to Thanksgiving being on Thursday.

We brought Maureen to the airport this a.m. and left her at the door. We didn't go in. Once up at the gates, she called to say there was no line at security. I took an ativan before I left for airport and for some reason I was so sleepy on both ways. Not sure what that was all about. Very uncomfortable. Barry went for flu shot and was not able to get one due to his doctor no in the office. Will go back tomorrow. As soon as I got home I got into my jammies and slept basically all day, getting up to go to the bathroom. Guess Maureen just pooped me out! She also has called to ask me if I had found her notes she hid for me. Yes, I found one on the pillow (which I slept on, never noticed) and that's the only one. 2 to go.

Time goes by too fast

Maureen leaves tomorrow a.m. after helping me with so many odds and ends around the house. And I thank her. I now can walk in my bedroom without tripping over my walker from months ago and piles of clothes that are going to a Goodwill box. And my medicine cabinet is so clean and neat. Doesn't take her that long but with my bad shoulder/chest plate it is a job that I kept postponing.

Today she came to church with me. Sat with Rick and Bev, and I think she met the whole town. I know so many people there. A couple of new friends came up to me to say hi after hearing my story last week in church. Am thinking that God is putting me through all this as a lesson for others. I have to think this way otherwise I'd go crazy. Personally the lung cancer doesn't bother me as much as the cancer in the brain. Only because I know what that can do 'cause I went through it in April. This cancer is fast moving and therefore I have to fight it with positive energy and lots of prayers. But honestly it scares me. I think that's the human in me. But as long as there is a breath in me I will continue to go forward.

While at church today I lined up to volunteer in their office. Even if it's just answering phones or possibly stuffing bulletins for Sunday services, it will get me out of the house for an hour or two. Ronee asked me what was important to me and I said "being with people." They know my limitations and upcoming new adventures with my brain, but will take me as often as I can make it there. Even learned that my neighbor volunteers in the office. It was the "boss", Maureen, who pushed me to find something to do especially during these cold snowy months.

Well, Maureen returns home tomorrow. And I know she realizes all that she did for me, cleaning my house and even taking me to my appointment in Pittsburgh. I took her and Patti out to dinner tonight for her good bye dinner. She was here when I needed someone to cry with and that was such a blessing. But I always remember this: when you are crying you can't see the future!

Maureen and Cape Cod family, I will see you as soon as I'm up to traveling that far.
I promise you.

Results are in..

I emailed oncologist in Pittsburgh this p.m. This is my email and his reply:

I was at Dr. Simon's office this a.m. for blood work. She has not got any results from my tests yesterday at Shadyside.
Are you able to pull them up for me? Am anxious as you know, and this coming week I'm scheduled for a treatment.
Thanks, Dr. Brufsky. I appreciate all you do for me long distance. Yesterday my last test ended at 2 p.m. ish. Was exhausted and a bit too late to see you. Sorry.

Dr. Simon said to contact you. I can take that 2 ways. Either she truly doesn't have results or the results are bad. And I don't want to not know for the weekend.

_______________________----

replies
:
The brain lesion has increased a bit (very slightly) and there may be another very small one. I think a gamma knife may be needed. There are still two lesions in the lungs which are slightly larger. Are you scheduled to see Dr. Burton soon?

2nd reply
:
Contact Burton about the cyberkinfe. I would continue the same chemo as the lesions in the lung really are not that much larger (only minimally)


------------------

I have contacted the radiation oncologist. Now waiting for plan of attack.

CT Scans/Mri Brain

Today my sister took me to Shadyside for me tests. A very LONG day, am physically and mentally pooped. Both tests were delayed. I left in tears cause of the pain and emotion of the day. I could never have gone myself. Tomorrow is Barry's turn, but he goes to Hillman Cancer Center. That's where I used to go, but for some reason this new dr. schedules me at Shadyside.

Took 2 hr. nap. And am already looking forward to going to bed. Not sure when I will get the results. Would like something to appear on scans to explain the daily severe pain I've been having. That would be a dream! I passed out a couple "business" cards showing my blog address to some people I was waiting with.

PS. Here's the posting I did last night. Got lost in cyberspace..

¡Soy así que excitado! Mi hermana Maureen está viniendo visitarnos. Su plano llega 9:30 mañana. mañana. Barry y seré cosecha ella para arriba. No puedo esperar….

Snow already

I can't believe that we have that white stuff outside already. And it's not even December. I'm ready to move to Phoenix for the winter. Crazy...weather. I can't take the cold anymore.

A great Sunday

I was truly blessed today by so many people. You know, we may not be Presbyterians but I feel so lucky to attend this church. And I feel at home and at peace while there among so many that truly care for me. This was shown to me today, along with in the past by Lisa H. My friend Patti spoke of our friendship today, in front of the congreagation. She spoke of how we met at the soccer game last year. When I approached her to be in the operating room during my long chest resection. I had not met her until that day. That was the day that our friendship began. She gave a history of what we've been through, explaining how I always try to be positive and have a smile on my face. She spoke after the church had a group blessing. If you wanted to be blessed with oil you just had to approach a church leader and do so. I knew this was happening today. Afer I sat there for awhile I decided to walk to the front of the church. A friend of mine Ronee held out her hand to me. And then we got a blessing. Followed by free hugs. I went back to my seat where I was sitting with Bev and Rick. I sat in the middle of them while both placed their arms around me. This was when Patti spoke.

I wonder why some people go through life without touching anyone, while others quite the opposite. I prefer to hang out with the ones that aren't afraid to hug and to be hugged.

I have audio CD of this sermon and one from the other day. That way I can listen whenever I chose to.

A cold and wet day at the football game...

This afternoon Tim and the band accompanied the football team to their playoff game up near Erie. Now that is "cold country". You have to be a true fan to have gone and sat through that. Tim said it was a mixture of heavy rain to the point you couldn't see across the field and then it changed to snow. The members of the band did not wear their usual wool outfit which would have kept them at least warm. I'm one of those parents that ask at what point does the band not need to go. Our team performed a pre-show, the other team didn't even do their 1/2 time show. I have to thank a parent for having an extra hoodie on hand which Tim quickly grabbed. Even though I have not gone to many games this year due to my cancer, I wouldn't have gone otherwise in this such weather. Will be so glad when the marching season is finally over.

As for tomorrow, I'm already expecting a good day. Patti K. has been asked to speak about me during the church service tomorrow. She knows how tearful I am and wanted to see if it was OK to do. I thanked her for doing this, and for being another voice against cancer. Cancer has made me a stronger person. Something good has grown from something bad. Friendships have formed and have gotten stronger. I will be bringing kleenex with me as someone once told me tears are used to get rid of the toxens inside our body. And heaven knows I have lots of those!

Prayers for all who are suffering

I got a long email from a fellow blogger about her husband. I had never met him but noticed him at a recent sr. football game night. I was there just because of that. He was wearing a hat, appeared to be bald with the look of just feeling crappy. He was in a wheelchair, but when it came time to recognize his sr. daughter he proudly got out of that wheelchair and walked next to his wife to kiss his daughter. It must have taken so much energy to do that. But it was his own personal goal. The non malignant tumor had attempted to be taken out twice, but the heart wouldn't take it. The tumor is on the spine I believe. Like all of us newbies we learn a new conversation, new words to use, new life to live. He is in pain 24-7. Here she blogs for me never mentioning her heartache and husband, so I took the time to reach out to her to say "what's up."

And yes, I agree with her: THIS IS SO SHITTY. I HATE THIS.

May you find peace during your sleeping moments. Hard to believe there is no cure for some pain. Am wondering what drug addicts find in it!!!

Please pray.

Sickness

Sickness has hit our household. Barry didn't work yesterday. Coming out both ends.
As for me, body's aching but that could just be the shot. And last night Tim mentioned his stomach felt funny. Positive thinking. We are not going to get sick.
We have 2 days of shots to go, and then I can stay put. Tim went out for ginger ale last night. Always good to have that in house. I'm heading out for my shot and to drug store.

We went and saw Harvey at High School tonight.

For the past week Tim's been mentioning the school play Harvey. Inviting me to go with his girl friend. I wasn't sure how I would be feeling, and didn't know right up until he was going. The kids put on such a professional production each year. It's perhaps because of the kids/friends he has that are in the show that I wanted to see them in their last school play. Come next fall it's time for college. In the spring they have a musical. This year it will be The Music Man. And with him being in the band that should be fun and I do think Tim will probably try out for that show. He had too much on his plate this time of the year.
And it was nice to be in the same category as a girl friend. As we joked in the car, he said that I was his best friend. Priceless.

I went to Cancer Center for my shot this a.m. As I've said I require 4 daily shots following chemo. And on Fridays they check my white blood cells along with other stuff.

And I got to see a friend there, Anne L. and her buddy Janie. I met Anne through a mutual friend JK, a breast cancer survivor. And when I was hospitalized in April 08
she came to see me in the hospital face to face, rather than a bloggin' friend. She's dealing with cancer and different treatments just as I am doing. It was so great to see her again. We communicate via email and my blog.

By the way, don't say anything about government being slow. My disability check going backwards is in my account today. Less than 2 weeks of applying, and Tim's getting his check mailed to him. I have to say that I definitely worked for those monies. But I'm not looking back, just forward.

Kudos to production of Harvey. It was a lot of fun.

3rd chemo treatment done

And now I'm resting. My blood counts were on the border, but the doctor approved the treatment.

Approved for disabilty

Yesterday p.m. I got a call from social security office. I had applied last Monday and yes, 8 days later I got approved for disability. Tim sill also get checks until he graduates from school. I never thought I would be collecting disability. But I certainly did not take advantage of the system. It helped that my employers worked with me, understood me. Now I can focus on ME and MY FAMILY.

Tomorrow is another chemo day, followed by CT scans,MRI brain on Nov 20th. Moving them up because the cancer is fast moving/agressive. But the fight is not over yet.

My goal is to get Tim into a good college next year. That way I can rest. And we are in the process of that now.

Barry's been wonderful. Drives me everywhere he goes. And to my chemo treatments.
Takes me with him to grocery shop and to do errands. When I ask him if we're doing anything special today, I have to laugh. I'm turning into my mother. And that's an OK person to be!

Keeping you posted

My computer has been sick, but now is almost brand spanking new. Thanks to Barry.
Last night I was up all night, thanks to caffeine soda. As I lay there, 2 plus 2 equalled caffeine. Didn't worry about it. We went to church and had a copy of last weeks sermon copied onto DVD for me. Lisa H. mentioned me and my blog in the sermon, which I didn't go to. As soon as I got home I listened to it. Never had my name mentioned in a sermon in my whole life. Just another reason that explains the area and community. I sat with Bev and Rick, who have become my pew partners. Before the service it's a chance to talk about anything. Today was a good day, probably because it's the last days before my upcoming treatment on Thursday. Aches continued, but I personally felt like a real person. Great day outside, finally repotted 2 dish plants that had been given to me these past months. I lied down in bed after Barry went to work and Tim went to college library. Bad mistake. I couldn't get comfortable with my chest plate and collar bone. Had to take a pain killer. Heard Tim come home and then next time I looked up it was 11:00 P.M. Must have been tired.

Let me back track a couple of days. Friday was sr. night for marching band and football team. Had totally forgotten about that event and having to be outside once again the cold weather. Now I can truly say I'm done with outside activities. The one thing that made it manageable was placing heat pad in my glove, helped just enough. Once I get cold, I tense up and there is no relief. But it was for a good cause, Tim! Am hoping for someone to email me pictures of the 3 of us, as you can't have enough pictures. Want to blog one or two.

Hair update: still there. Am thankful for every day it covers my head especially during these cold months. It's the little things that mean a lot.

PS Tim past his motorcycle drivers test on Friday. And one more thing, I met a lady who follows my blog at the football game finally. I follow hers, she follows me. Good to put a face to a bloggin' entry.

A picture is worth a thousand words. Thanks JK.

 

JANE IS AOK-COMPUTER NOT WORKING!!

just talked to jane briefly and wondered why no posting? the computer is down at present time. she had a good day but at this time had some chest plate pain and was off to bed with a painkiller on board!!adios moe

Getting what I've earned in all my working years.

Yesterday I went with Barry and filed for disability. Never thought I would be doing that, but I've not received a cent from the college in all these months. Perhaps I was supposed go ask but when you don't feel good those things don't pop into your head. And up until the brain tumor I was OK in working part time, and then the cancer found it's way into my head and that was a zinger. Once I knew I had been paralyzed and my speech had been impaired, that shook me up some. It was my husband and my family that pushed me to file with social security, to get something to go with all those times I went to work feeling not so good. But there is now a part of me that feels defeated, as my job was my therapy. Sort of like a death, a loss. But as Tim said to me, now I can concentrate on healing myself. I've raised a good smart child. And on my side is that disability has just included breast cancer with a higher rating as to speed it through the process for people to make claims on it. The woman at the office yesterday a.m. said that with all that I've been through it will be a quick decision.

I had not told my co-workers yet. I wanted to get the papers filed and people told in person. I stopped by the college before lunch to see my bosses but they were at meeetings. I did whisper in HR's ear as we hugged that I had just filed. She said good for you, and that she would be the one that papers would go to. Made some visits to other friends but didn't say a word. Just told the man that heads the department the news.

And I do know that between all the support the college has given us, it will continue. Along with the churches in the area. Heck, it's such a great community.

So when I came in from my job, Barry could tell that I've been crying. It's just another turn in the road of life, and the system is out there to help people like me.
I certainly never abused this illness, and will continue to fight with more strength.

Tim's soccer team went to playoffs in Erie this p.m. Barry drove up by himself. Just heard that the team lost. It was going to be so cold. One thing I did hear was that Tim used his hand warmers to keep warm.

Weekend update

Twice I've had diarrhea with the past few days. Not sure what has caused it. One of days all I did was sleep all day. But have to say that was way my body is healing from recent chemo treatment.

Tim won the soccer game on Saturday and they are now in the playoffs. Yahoo. Barry did see this game on Saturday. But the next game is Tuesday night and it's up in Erie. Not local.

Becky called me at noon today. Asked if I listened to the church on the radio. I said no. She's going to get tape of the sermon as my name was mentioned in Lisa H.'s
sermon. I am considered to be "insprirational". I tell you the truth that there are many days I don't feel that way. And I am this way for my son Tim. If you know me, you know that fact. He's the reason I keep on going forward. I am so proud of him.

Senior Night at Tim's soccer game

Since it was Sr. night for Tim's soccer game, they were recognized and had photos taken with their parents. Or in my situation, with me. It was a large senior group of about 12 or so kids. Had lots of people taking pictures, tomorrow I will download.

When I got there it was just right the temperature, but within 10 minutes I was freezing. First place that freezes is my chest plate and then right arm. Then I moved up to the press box. Sheltered from the elements but still couldn't get the chill off. I couldn't wait to get home but wanted to see the whole game as it could be the last time I get a chance to see Tim play. I was so pleased to have Patti's company up there, she had asked Beckster where I was. The score: a win for us. 12-zero.

The walk to the car seemed to take so long. I was in so much pain. Hard to explain. It's a muscle aching, and as I fight it it gets worse. Didn't even see Tim after the game. He unfortunately did not score any goals. But played well.

Jammies are on, pain meds are in system. Blood work tomorrow.

Hopefully the tenseness will go away soon. I know from this I will be spending most of these evenings to come inside the house.

Thenks Beckster, Rick and Patti.

Happy Anniversary, Maureen and Gene

A welcome light overlooks the colors of fall. So pretty. You have to look for the little things in life that make you smile.

 

I personally don't consider back of the head as I would the front of the face. Do you agree, Jean?

 

One more day of a shot-white blood cells

Tomorrow will be my 4th trip to the Cancer Center for the shot. And by 2 p.m. daily, I am wiped out. I can't wait until Tim is done with soccer, that way I have someone to stay awake for and with. When he's gone to his games, I just sleep. Thursday is Senior night. I'll be there to celebrate his last game of his high school career. Am hoping it is warmer and dryer than today. It was raining and about 37 degrees for today's game. I may just have to stay in press box until the portion of the game that sr.s are recognized. Otherwise, I'm going to be in serious chest plate pain.

Yesterday a dream came true to me. The Pres. of the College and his wife stopped by as promised while on a weekend trip for Homecoming. He had retired a few months ago, and we've been keeping up to date. I was so excited and honored to think they took time out of their busy lives to stop by and give hugs to me. I took a few pictures but promised Jean I would not blog them. But I do have the 3 of us as my wallpaper on my computer. I told them a personal goal for me would be to go visit them in Virginia. Everyone needs a goal, something to look forward to.

While I was at Cancer Center a friend of mine was there. She's going to have a mastectomy in a couple of weeks. Not sure what type, but I as I left her I gave her a hug for good luck.

Heard from my dad on Cape Cod that my best friend from my childhood Mary Lou called and stopped by for a visit today. She got to drive him around the area, as he's not been able to drive himself. She was on Cape Cod for Sunday Night Football and the Patriots I believe. She also contacted me to tell me how much fun she had with the ole fart...

Minor bone aches

That's it. Just minor bone aches for the day. Must mean the shot is working on my white blood cells. Not mentioning my chest plate, because that's a continuous pain.
Listened to church on the radio. Good thing. Could hear lots of coughing in the church. And when I am at home, I can still have my jammies on and under the covers!
Too many germs. By the way, hair still on my head...

Tim and his new friend.

 

My best friend, Tim.

 

I just love this town.

 

Tim and the Marching Band on a beautiful fall day.

 

Another good day

Another good day as days can be. We went to the College's Homecoming Parade. It was a day meant for a parade. Just the right fall temperature. Tim did yard work and mulched up lots of leaves. There are still more to come down. Job security.

It's coming out..

Had asked Dr. S. today about losing the hair. She said that it would definitely be gone. It has been 3 weeks. Just now I was doing my hair pulling test, and she was right on target. The signs are there. But I told her, I've been there before. Just now it's a new season. Have never been bald in cold temps. Perhaps that will make me wear my wigs. Will be visiting my girl friend Retta soon for a buzz cut. Last week I went to another hairdresser with Barry for a short cut. I was in desperate need for a trim and clean up. Unlike the times before, I am not rushing to get it cut. Don't ask me why...'cause I have no answer.

Chemo 2 continues

Well, got home at noon from having chemo. Barry had made me grilled cheese sandwich and tomato soup. I watched my soap which I had not done that often. By 2 p.m. I was in my jammies.

Beckster called me from the soccer field and told me in loud Beckster voice that Tim had scored TWO goals so far. (they ended up winning the game). While I was on the phone she cheered because he attempted a shot on goal. Told me not to worry about not being able to see Tim perform tonight, and that made the flood gates open. I had been thinking in my brain of ways I could see them perform, how to sneak in, sit all by myself isolated. But she put a reality to the situation and said it's not worth putting myself in that situation with so many sick people. I understood, and explained that Lisa P. was going to tape it for me anyway. Thanks Lisa. Tim gave me the disk, now I just have to see how I play it on DVD player. I'm not that great with disks. Cathy C. and she said she would tape for me.


Tim did soccer and left early from the game to go to chorus. Cathy C. took him from one place to the other. He just got home 1/2 hr ago all excited from his afternoon of activities. Rightly so.

I think his first band concert is the last week of Oct. I haven't checked to see how that fits into my chemo schedule.

When I was laying down I think Maureen called me. She wanted to see how I was feeling. Conversation was very quick, so quick it doesn't even seem to register in my brain! Silly me. I have an excuse, chemo brain...

Thanks for all you blog watchers. I'm impressed a blog entry on a chemo day...


PS. Have to say that my pain level is down. Hopefully it's because I was in bed truly all day. Even my chest plate area feels better. Or perhaps it's just the fresh drugs inside my body, finding their way to the bad cancer... One can hope, can't they?

Off to chemo #2 (lost track of what type of treatment)

Heading to 9:30 a.m. chemo. All depends on my counts being good. And then to bed I'm pretty sure.

Overly tired

Getting ready for chemo this Thursday. Pain continues to be especially in collar bone area. Have told so many medical people about the area in question, but no conclusion. Very frustrating. You can tell I'm not myself when I don't post on my blog. That or I don't have anything to say!

Tim has a chorus concert this Wednesday, but I think I'm going to pass on it. Need to save my limited energy for Thursday, and I don't need to be at risk in such a crowded area. Tim will be singing for the first time as a Chamber singer, so I sure do hope someone will videotape this for me. Would mean a lot to me.

Non cancerous cyst

Just got off the phone with dad, previously Maureen. The cyst was not cancerous, and he's going home today. Yahoo. And to think he had to wait all that time for someone to diagnose the problem. I understand that issue for sure. He even sounded stronger in his voice this a.m.

The day started out productive

The day started out to be productive, but by lunch I was in agony with collar bone area. Immediately hit the bed (after a couple of pills) and just got up a 8ish. Everytime I would look at the clock I couldn't figure out if it was AM or PM!
I feel fine now.

Have spoken to my dad after his surgery that went well. He apparently climbed from table to bed or vice versa. Is still in some kind of discomfort but am praying for his cheerful voice on the other end of the phone.

I may just be feeling the effects of the low white blood cells, this was going to be my week of going down/down. But have to do what my body tells me, rest.

Prayers to Dad tomorrow

And to the surgeons' hands and their skills while they do the surgery. I believe it is going to be done at lunch time tomorrow. I pray for healing at a steady pace, and a lot of support. Especially for medical care.

Tim's soccer game.

Lisa invited me to go see the soccer game tonight. I had not been to one in a long time, so I said sure. They lost though. I think the league needs to have a training program for how to referee. Just my personal opinion. It was a comfortable night with no wind.

I think there are only about 3 games left of the season, which means of Tim's high school career. Where does the time go?

college applications

I feel so behind in the college process. Espcecially with not being able to focus. Had thought by now that they would have been sent but that's not the case. I've been told I worry too much. That's my nature. I want Tim to get into a school of his choice. Once his part is done then we will begin our financial paperwork. I am dreading that like the dentist. Becky, you remember how I was in April doing Fed taxes with Rick. Not a good feeling.

A relaxing day doing nothing.

The only thing accomplished which on a Sunday is all that needs to be done, is going to church. And as expected Rick and Bev were waiting for me to sit with them. I got to introduced them to my friends Becky, Joanne and her husband. For once I knew someone that no one else knew.

Tim had a great time at homecoming last night. I got to finally see what his date looks like via a photo someone emailed me. They matched so nicely. Tim did all the shopping for the night.

Well, as I said in the opening. A day with not one thing being done. Oh yes, laundry and dishes. That's it. And I did hear from Maureen that my dad's pain is being controlled and that he will remain in hospital until the surgery Wednesday. Maureen did what I suggested, had my father just rest with mom and she not visiting most of the day. I told her first hand how tiring it was to have mom come to visit me. I know she took it as it was meant, not to be rude. And dad needs to rest rest rest these days in the hospital. Paying good money, might as well get your money's worth.

Tim's off from school tomorrow. Planning on helping Barry with his vehicle, putting fog lights in.

The boys and their dates.. Cute couples.

 

Autumn flower arrangement

 

Tim, Dad and our new vehicles.

 

 

 

Which Honda should I drive tonight? Decisions, decisions

 

 

 

A GOOD Day, Tim goes to Homecoming Dance

Tim just left the house driving new Honda Element. Only difference it is about 4 months older than he had for the prom. Took a few pictures to be downloaded later. It was a photo shoot of Tim and our 2 new Honda vehicles. Quite classy. And once again, am so proud of him. We had a very relaxing lunch at the Chinese food restaurant and then to get some apples.

This is the year of "all the lasts". His last homecoming dance. His last soccer game followed by soccer bandquet. So many changes. And then the cycle changes again. Then it becomes the first year of college. First college dance. The cycle of life.

Prayers for some relief for my dad

He was admitted to hospital after a visit to the emergency room last night. The "boss" has already taken care of boarding their dog and arranged people to take turns with my mom for about a week in advance. Has seen his surgeon and doesn't feel there is any time in his schedule for the surgery to be moved up. He's on a morphine drip and oxycodone. At least he's in the hospital and main thing right now is pain control which he has had in many many months. And he won't have to worry about mom, taking care of her is a FULL time job. But for some reason he has not accepted any of Maureen's help in getting a person in the house to do home care. Stubborn guy. But he's where he needs to be, in bed with others taking care of him. My mom will be fine. With alzheimers if you have a bad day, no matter. The bad day is out of your memory to even remember! That's a blessing.

I talked to both of them this a.m. And will do so later in the day.

A nice Friday

Had blood work today, first since having my first dose of the new chemo. It's showing a drop the "counts", will be a slow roller coaster ride. Have heard it will truly effect my energy level ( not I have any now). And Barry and I got our hair cuts at the same time. Would have liked to have my camera to post it on blog. A kodak moment.

Told hairdresser my story (I always do that) as she was clipping away. I will lose it by chemo within a week or two. But this time I went the route of short pixy style cut. Feels and look great. Wanted this to be done, didn't want to wait any longer. It was a goal of mine. When the time comes, I'll find Retta to do the buzzing of my head.

Went to football game with Barry. Last minute decision. But was tired and cold at 1/2 time so we left early. Our team was winning. Tim did his job, provided me goodies that bandmembers get. So many people came up to me as I walked around with Becky. Lots of hugs and well wishes. Met someone who heads up our office there, they dropped off a autumn flower arrangements and fresh scones and butter. Yes, Barry tasted one!

Phone message when we got home. My dad is in hospital under medication. I only wish I could see him, but that would not be possible during this treatment. The way I look at it, you should treat your last conversation as if it could be your last one. And then you will have no regrets. Don't know how Maureen does it, we call her effectionately the "boss" for a reason.

I'll be calling them in a.m. for update on my dad. I love him so much.

PS. Was just mentioning to Barry that we were going to Presby church Sunday. Great minds think alike. Comment on my blog was from Rick who is President of College.
I can finally introduce him to Becky.

One more thought

For the past couple of days I didn't feel like I was in la la land. Bit more focused. I don't know how people can do drugs. Not for me. But I will monitor the pain level minute by minute.

A better day (finally)

Not a good day, but better. Have reduced the meds 1/2 the amount as I did not like the feeling of looking like a zombie. My head was attached to my body, but nothing was in there. (stop your comments, Barry!) Not a pleasant feeling. When I went to get my shots, I was walking so carefully/cautiously so as to not let others see me floundering. I'm finished with my 4 shots of neuprogen. I go for my first blood work since getting this new chemo tomorrow. I've not been driving since I continue to be on meds which hasn't been fun. Barry continues to be my angel, never complains of his own aches. Drives and does almost all the cooking. I am truly thankful to him.
I try not to cry because it causes my chest plate to hurt, to be uncomfortable. Plus it wears me down. But there is a small place in my heart that I guestion things.

Please pray for my father, the old far, has he goes into the hospital next Wednesday for surgery. He's been suffering so severely. Along with taking full time care of my mother at home. Drives her to day care several times a week, gives him the time to just lie down and sleep if possible. My sister Maureen told me this

has cyst in spinal lumbar area pushing against nerve and probably cyst growing as the numbness down leg. says recovery couple weeks-older people do better as they take less pain med finally a plan and i am off that day adios back to cape Friday night
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He worries about me, I worry about them. I know that God is in control, I honestly do. Just hard sometimes to get throgh the day.

no energy

What can I say. Had my last shot today, Friday is blood work. I wish I could blog daily, but even healhy people don't do that.

Steroids 'cause me to be up all night.

And I've known from past experience this happens. I got my white booster shot this am. tomorrow I'll also have my blood checked on Fridays.

Goin to lie down, if only to rest.

Another chemo drug (mitoxantrone ), blue drug. Maybe blue is my lucky color..

This will be my only posting for this day. Just wanted to say thanks to everyone that has been praying for us. The local Presbyterian Church asked me the other day if she could coordinate such a thing. The names of the 2 women are Lisa H. and Ronee and I said yes. Yes for it to be a prayer chain only at this time. I thought it was a great idea.

Couple of pre meds, nausea and steroid. Chemo is only about 20 mins. via IV also.

Went right to bed when I got him. Next 4 bus. days I have to go for daily shot to bring my white blood cells up since chemo will know them down. Fridays are my blood work days. By the time I have next treatment (3weeks) I will have lost my hair they say. Unable to sleep, exhausted and have been told it will be that way for awhile. Just when you feel good, you go through the cycle again. Steroids fight sleep.

FIRST NEW CHEMO DRUG COMPLETED

It is moe again. I spoke to Jane quickly at suppertime and she said the chemo drug infused in 20 minutes or so and was able to be home after l l/2 hour or so. Still on oxycontin heavy strength. Very excited about a new PRAYER CHAIN FOR HER-she will discuss the importance of this to her healing etc. Also spoke of the new ANGEL CAR
DRIVER VOLUNTEERS that will allow her to get daily med injections the days following chemo when Barry is unable to drive her. Thanks to all in gods country that help her get thru this rough road in life. Adios moe

chemo starts this wednesday

Muga test all done.

Happy Anniversary, MOM AND DAD

Sept. 22 is my dad and mom's anniversary. Let's do some comment bloggin' for them.

MUGA scan scheduled tomorrow a.m. Joanne S. will drive me.

Oncologist in Pittsburgh has increased my pain meds due to pain (no kiddin').

Happy Anniversary!

Going to soccer game tonight..

I continue to sleep/rest a lot. Today I'm planning on seeing Tim's soccer game at 7:30 p.m.. Have not seen him play in a long time.

Today was his first day at local senior residence as a volunteer. I think he'll enjoy that job. Already had a good day. Can understand through his own personal experience that just by listening you can make someone's day a lot better. He says the activities coordinator reminds him of my sister Maureen. Full of energy and loves working her patients. One of the patients remembered him from before. And the lady that hired him had a picture on her desk of when he was at the Sr. Prom last year!

Updated blog 10:36 p.m.

The team they played, played dirty in my opinion. And unfortunately it went into double OT and they scored with seconds to go. Final score: the dirty team 1, the clean team 0. And I do believe one of the refs needs to have his eyes checked to notice how dirty the other team played. At times I felt like I was at a football game! But with the pain I was in, I can't waste my energy yelling and getting upset.
I just know that I am proud of how our team handled themselves.

Planning on going to Presbyterian Church tomorrow. And hoping the College Pres. and his wife Bev is there. For some reason the Beckster has not met them. Can you believe that? I know someone that she doesn't know... Also am hoping to sit with Patti. Did I mention that the elderly gent from that church stopped by my house to pray with and for me. His name is Joe and he's one of the kindest men I have known.

I spent the whole day in bed..

Basically I've been in bed all day today. Still uncomfortable. Just wanted to see if I in fact didn't do anything, if that would make my pain go away. For some reason it is very painful in my left armpit area, especially when I was to reach a bit too much.

Barry's at the game tonight. I didn't want to go.

Monday I'm having my heart scan, a baseline for how my heart appears before this strong chemo drug. My first treatment will probably be Tuesday or Wednesday next week. Will cause hair loss. Now everyone can see my craniotomy scar. No longer is my head a perfect shape. Time to have Retta trim my hair. Not only because it's going to come out, but it just needs it.

I can tell when the 12 hrs. is about up, pain comes back stronger.

Thanks Maureen for updating my blog when I'm not up to it. This blog means everything to me.

THANK GOD FOR BARRY!! TIM TOO!!

Spoke to Jane last night and she was very discouraged with all that was happening!! It is bad enough to have the cancer but not to have electricity is the pits. Power just back on noon Thursday. She said she was able to use the laptop computer in the basement. Barry had gotten a second generator and therefore power could be used one room at a time. She spoke of being thankful for Barry setting up generator in his spare time. How can things RAIN anymore on me she said-I am so discouraged. She cried some and then settled down. She constantly said to me that HER BLOG IS HER LIFE-HER BABY and at this time I was watching it for her. I cried too. Also spoke of lack of hot water for shower, having to wash Tim's soccer clothes by hand. She did enjoy a hot burger on the grill and was excited to get some cookies from Janet a former neighbor where Tim mows the lawn. She will have muga scan next Friday and at this time is at local oncologist office with Barry to have a plan of care. The chest pain was a problem yesterday and she is hoping it will be less today. Thanks for all the entries!! There is excitement in her voice when she speaks of them. adios moe

HITTING IT ON THE NOGGIN!! however it is spelled!

Just spoke to Jane and the pain is less. She told me the blog postings keep her going!! She was able last night to read them quickly as they still have no power. PLEASE KEEP POSTING!! YEH TIM for getting a 96 on your first college test in psychology----an AAAAA Yes Jane I will yell it around cape cod today!!adios moe

I'M GOING TO FIGHT,FIGHT,FIGHT

It is Moe posting for Jane. Jane and Barry just returned from Pittsburg oncologist.
They still have no electricity and won't get it until end of week but she wants u to post anyway. Thank u Jody for the cd u left on my doorstep that the church recorded! The oncologist told them there are lots of different options to fight the new cancer spots. She told me the liver is a small spot which is good. Thursday she will meet with her local oncologist who will discuss treatments with Pittsburg oncologist for a new plan. The medicine will be BLUE this time and not the red as the initial Adiamycin drug way back when. Jane keeps her sense of humor even though her chest pain is making it hard to talk!! She says she is staying PATRIOTIC with the color regime. Once again she will have the hair loss. Treatment will be every 3 weeks. A muga scan will be done as prior as the drug can be toxic to the heart. The chest pain is pleurisy-presently needs to get under more comfort control. Please post as the positive energy is a LIFESAVER for her in so many ways. Once again she tells me she is off to bed in the jammies and it is still too hard for her to get the phone as the chest pain is out of control at this time as she took less med prior to going to the city. adios moe

Pain is no better

Pain is no better, would say it was a 10. Hard to even talk for a period of time.
In bed most of the day, didn't even go to church. But listened to it on the college radio station for about 1/2 the sermon. Shortly after it was done I heard a car come up driveway. Asked Tim to see who it was. You'll never guess. President Rick and his wife Bev with one of my favorite things: chocolates that I enjoy from his office! I am so blessed. I now have had 2 Presidents in my house. People have told me that has happened 'cause of who I am. You get what you give.

Will stay home tomorrow if pain is not any better. Next day Tuesday is my appt. with oncologist.

God has a plan for me

Everyone knows how important a plan is. But I've had to change my way of thinking of a plan. I now realize that the situation has changed, so therefore the plan has to. I will continue to be optimistic but realistic at the same time. I'm running out of body parts you know! And my new way of thinking is this: It's all in God's plan! and hands anyway.

I once heard an interview from Randy Pausch, they mentioned that they do not have to like the cancer but will deal with it. Or something like this.

My main concern now is to get control of the pain, which hasn't happened yet. Per my local oncologist (and Maureen's suggestion) we've switched the class of pain meds.
Spent most of the day in bed, tossing and turning, not being able to get comfortable. My chest continues to have a burning sensation, a tightness as if my chestplate is going to explode. I look back at the past couple of weeks, when i was going over speed bumps I would stiffen to lessen the impact. So it was changing previously.

And I got good news from Tim today. He tried out and got a position with the Chamber Singers with the chorus! Had told me last year that when the auditions were going to happen, that was his intention.

Cancer Sucks, haven't I said that before?

I woke up this a.m. with pain in my chest. By 9 a.m. Barry took me to E.R. CT Scan was done of my chest, and the cancer has grown. More nodules in lungs (along with growth), something with chest wall (can't remember) and it looks like it has spread to my liver. I've cried a lot today. I just don't hate cancer, I hate the effect it will have on Tim.

Have not rested yet today, but wanted to post an update. Pain continues, pain meds have not kicked in yet.

By the way, since we live in small town the Reverend Lisa just called to say I'm on their prayer chain. She didn't realize I had just got the news today. I was talking about Tim and how proud I was of him. I told her this: and she said sounds like a great idea.

I am so proud of Tim. He just got his class rank and he's in the top 10 out of 126 students! I wasn't going to blog, but what the hell. I want to scream at the top of my lungs today to tell everyone this good news, especially today. So open up your windows and here I come...

Why should we only talk negative, and be afraid to talk positive?


8 PM Update
Pain is no better. It's a constant stinging pain, which because I have to breathe then there is of course pain. Have taken two more dosages of pain med. My main concern right now is to get the pain under control. Got out of control last night as I thought I was calmly sleeping. No way.

The ER room has made an appt. with my Pittsburgh oncologist to go over these results. That'll be Tuesday at 11:45 a.m. This cancer lives up to its reputation, fast moving and aggressive. It was only 5 weeks since my last CT scan, and VOILA.

Quote that caught my eye (and Barry's)

"Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome." -
-- Isaac Asimov

Naptime for me

All set to get into my jammies and nap. Hopefully the phone won't ring..

Chemo now at work..

As planned I saw Dr. Simon at 9:45 a.m. after my blood work was checked and found to be OK. I am emotionally pooped today, here's a very brief summary to explain (if receiving chemo wasn't enough!)

home by noon, grilled cheese and tomato sandwich quickly cooked, people who have bought Barry's old truck stopped by for us to go to local bank 1 p.m. to close on their loan, there for a couple of hours due to screwup in their original branch location, off to AAA to sign off on title.

two good things came from this day. truck sold and cash is in our hands! but since I had no break after getting chemo my body has paid a price, physically and mentally. Oh yes, insurance has been canceled on truck. That was also sitting on our heads. Within 5 mins. of getting home which was about 3:45 p.m. I was in my jammies. Don't get me wrong, I took my meds before my head hit the pillow and took the phone off the hook. I couldn't wait to fall asleep, aches and all.

Just got up at 7 p.m. Of course my sister Maureen wondered how my medi port worked. Am very thankful I have that. A small blessing.

Now I'm sending my son to get Subway. No intention of cooking or even reheating. PS again. Tim just intercommed me and he's making egg sandwiches. Mmmm.

Am hoping tomorrow is less eventful. I already know my account will have more money in it.

November 6th is my next CT/MRI scans. Will be a little over 3 months.

All set for another round of chemo tomorrow..

That's it. Another round of chemo is set for tomorrow morning. As they say, bring on the drugs! Fight fight fight

I love Sundays

We went to church this a.m. and sat with the President of the College and his wife, Rick and Bev. And I got to introduce Tim to both of them. It was so nice. The greeters at the door today was one of my co-workers and her husband. It is so nice when you know so many people, and they know you. After the service I introduced my self to the new Pastor of a couple of months. It's a small town when you are meeting someone for the first time and they that they've heard about you. Kind of makes you feel special, in a very special way. His name is Ralph and I've followed his own blog. So he asked me for my blog address and have emailed it to him. His blog entries are more wordy than mine though. Must be the preacher in him! On his first day at the church the congregation wore bow ties, all in honor of him 'cause that's what he usually wears. He got a kick out of it.

One of my favorite songs was song today. Open the Eyes of My Heart. My favorite one is Awesome God though. I truly get so much strength from music, especially the lyrics. Here is a chorus from a Christian singer Natalie Grant that touched my heart:

I will stumble
I will fall down
But I will not be moved
I will make mistakes
I will face heartache
But I will not be moved
On Christ the Solid Rock I stand
All other ground is sinking sand
I will not be moved

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What I get out of these lyrics is I will stumble, fall but eventually stand with Christ.

I'm still here.

The nerve test was just what I had expected. Was no trouble at all. Two doctors each did a portion of their test. After it was done, the last doctor mentioned that he didn't find anything wrong. I've emailed my neurologist this week for the results, and he's having trouble tracking them down. Not knowing what is causing me this pain is very hard to understand. But I'm not giving up, I know there is pain especially collar bone area and right side of shoulder. The collar bone is hurting now when I take a deep breath in. And the chest plate continues to bother me. I am so sick and tired of having this pain. I know I should not whine but after awhile it gets to you.

The four hours I work at the college helps me a lot. It works both ways I think. But by the last hour I've just about had enough. I'm so blessed to be in such a caring environment there. It's just what I need. When I was in the hospital in April I was thinking of the job, not feeling I could return to it in same capacity. But God and my bosses took care of that.

I've not posted this week 'cause I've just not felt like there is anything new to report. But have heard from my sister that my dad was concerned about me. Perhaps I should just type at least a word or two each day so people know I'm still around.

EMG Nerve Test tomorrow

I'm headed into the city tomorrow a.m. for an EMG nerve test, upper extremeties.
Test takes about an hr., and I've been told the 2nd part is when they insert a needle into the muscle. Depends on your tolerance level what you will feel. I'm thinking positive.