4 P.M Call from Dr.-BENIGN!!

I called the Cancer Center this a.m. to have them tell Dr. G. that I was home today. This way he could call me with the results if he gets them today. I heard from the Center when they called me back, that Dr. G would not be in until Monday. She said that he would be only person who could read the results. This is crazy. I asked if another oncologist would please read them and call me, as waiting until Monday is an eternity. You would think that they would be considerate enough and able to read any biopsy result that they got, regardless of who the patient is.

I also took a step and left a message on Dr. G's home phone about this. Not something I would normally do, but to me this is very important. The not-knowing is the worst thing, something I tell others of all the time.

4 P.M. Just got call from an oncologist at Cancer Center. BENIGN tissue samples!! Nothing cancer related. Thank God.

Biopsy is done

And the wait begins.

I was at the hospital for about 2 hrs. having the stereotactic biopsy done. I was already familiar with the process. A mammogram is done beforehand to pinpoint the area where the calcifications are. You lay on your stomach and have your breast pop through a hole in the table. The radioligist and the nurse work beneath you, after they raise the table up a bit. Your breast is compressed quite tightly, like a mammogram. Additional pictures are taken when a needle is inserted into the breast after being cleansed and numbed. I can't remember how many pictures are actually taken during the procedure. Once they have calculated the area they want to biopsy, this location is input into the computer so that the needle knows where to go. There is a loud bang at one point, this is when the needle is sort of boomeranged into the area. Like a slingshot. There is discomfort when this is done. I never actually even saw the radiologist as my head was aimed the other direction. You are not allowed to move at all. I can just listen to the conversations. By the end, my hands were so sweaty. After the specimens are obtained it is time to insert a clip into the area that was biopsied. This is used should I need surgery, to pin point the area in question. When the needle was removed, the nurse told me that it was bleeding such that it needed to once again be compressed. And this time, harder! Apparently an artery was cut. The nurse said that I had required more anesthesia than normally due to this fact. The reason for my "ouches". My breast was compressed for 10 long minutes and then bandaged up. Another mammogram picture was taken after the procedure which showed that all calcifications had been removed.

I should get the results of this biopsy in a day or two.

Once home, I quickly ate as it was 1 p.m. and went right to bed. Emotionally exhausted. Couldn't wait to get into my jammies.

In the evening we went to Tim's band banquet. I didn't want to miss it as last year I did due to that biopsy. I'm beginning to dislike the month of March.

Thanks for all your prayers.

Biopsy tomorrow

My breast biopsy is tomorrow a.m. Am thinking only positive thoughts. Will keep you posted.
Probably won't know results of it for a couple of days. Have had same procedure last year so am aware of what to expect.

New job 4 ME

Well, it took me about 4 years of trying but I finally got a job at our local college in town! I start on 3/26/07. Barry used to make fun of me. Everytime I got a reject notice from them, he would say I was gathering wall paper making material. What a mean guy! But as he told Tim, persistence paid off.

The hours are less and I will now be able to see Barry every day. At times now, I only see him on the weekend. Plus it's less than a mile away. Look at all the gas I'm going to save. I'm going to truly be a local person. This past winter I would drive to work in snow storms with white knuckles. Not my cup of tea. Stress that I don't need. And in the summer you can work without taking an away lunch and get out of work early. That'll be nice.

I will certainly miss my friends at the bank but know that I'll make just as many at the college.
Heck, I already know so many now!

Happy Anniversary to US

Yes, today's our anniversary. 27 years and still counting....

We're going out to dinner to celebrate. Really looking forward to it.

PS Posting this early so I don't forget come tomorrow a.m.

Mammo results

I knew something was up when the nurse needed to take another picture for mammogram. And then the radiologist came in to talk to me. There are 2 spots in question in the right breast that had cancer. He says probably nothing (easy for him to say), that he would bet his house on it, but.... I need to have a sterotactic biopsy on it to find out for sure. Funny how things work. It was a year ago that I had the same biopsy done on the other breast, followed by lumpectomy to remove what could have been pre-cancerous tissue. I'm trying to do as I say, not let tears cloud my vision but it's kind of hard. To get back to reality I have to think of Barry and what he's going through.

My oncologist received the report immediately, and has scheduled this biopsy for March 13th at 11 a.m. One step at a time.

There are times I think that boobs just are not worth the trouble!

8 p.m. I've left my pity party and feel a lot better. Got my nails done and had some pizza with Tim. Been about 6 weeks without nails on. Love having them done.

Another mammo tomorrow

Yes, 6 months has come upon me already. Time for another follow-up mammo. But you know, I sort of look forward to it. A chance to rule out any of the aches I've previously had, too see for sure that everything is AOK. So wish me luck. Hope I pass with flying colors!

It's my birthday...

Well, it was my 51st birthday today. And now at almost 10 p.m., my birthday week celebration is coming to an end. I love birthdays. And I make them last more than one day. Last night we went out to dinner with friends after I had chinese food with the people I work with for lunch. A great day.

Today we went out to lunch also. This evening I participated in our church's first ever chili cook off even. A fundraiser for our youth ministry's mission trip this summer which Tim is a part of. It was a lot of fun. Didn't win, but still had fun. All the teenagers gathered around me and presented me with a piece of cake with a candle in it. Sang happy birthday to me. A real nice surprise. Have never been with so many people on my birthday.

So, all in all a great celebration!

Almost my birthday

Today we are celebrating my birthday at work. Plus, after work we are going out to dinner with friends. So all in all, it's going to be a great day! Tomorrow's my actual 51st birthday.

Yes, I'm still here...

Yes, I'm still here. Just taking a rest from bloggin'. Since my last writing, Tim has got his learner's permit. Growing up too fast. We also bought him a car that used to be my mom's car. Everything is going nicely into place. Barry took him out for his first driving lesson. So far so good. I think he's driven about 4 times. A whole new experience for all of us. In fact, Tim was asked to write an article for our Church youth newsletter. I would like to share it with you as it truly touched my heart. It's called "Driving."

Learning new things can be a scary thing, no matter what it is. After all, we all fear what we don’t know. Personally, I received my driver’s permit the other day and the car has been my major adversary. I’ve wanted to drive all of my life, but when I got behind that steering wheel for the first time, I choked up. But then I started to think. I tried to think of something to calm me down, and then I thought of God. It made me realize that He would help me do this, as He has done throughout my life. In the end, hasn’t He always been there when we were scared and needed direction? I then found that if I let Him do the driving, it made it all easy. Life can be the same way if you put your trust in God to lead you the right way, even if you stumble to follow. Either way, I can drive well enough, but only thanks to my great teacher.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I told him it was similar to Carrie Underwood's song "Jesus take the wheel."


This morning we woke up to our first black ice storm. I went out to get the paper and came upon our vehicles in a sheet of ice. The walkway and driveway was the same. I proceded to back out of the driveway, only to slowly slide crossway down it. I had no control over it. As I came to a stop, I called Barry inside the house. He came out and told me to put it in 4 wheel drive. I eventually drove it back into the garage. Getting the paper was not that important! Of course, he did call me a couple of names like "retard" and "whuss" (not sure of spelling). But that's Barry! I did tell Tim my story only to make him aware of this type of element. A scary thing.

Barry has returned to work. He's doing pretty good. Has his aches but never complains. Trouble sleeping at night, so therefore may take a nap during the day. Takes each day as it comes.

I would like to wish good health to a few of my friends, a couple who are going through the "C" crap. Not a fun thing to do, but something you just have to do.

Happy 16th Birthday, Tim

And also a Happy 79th Birthday to MOM today. Two special people on my life!

#7 Chemoembolization under the belt

I got to the hospital at 7:30 a.m. Dr. G. checked in on Barry before 9 a.m. Barry did not get discharged until 11:45 a.m. due to a delay in getting one of his nausea pills. It took about 1 1/2 hrs. for that one pill to be delivered. You should not have to go through such stress while already dealing with cancer. If only there was some kind of self-discharge process in place!

After we picked Tim up from his friend's house, we went out for late lunch. I came home and took a small nap as I served as eucharistic minister at the 5 p.m. mass. Tim went to help out at our church Valentine's dinner dance that was being held after the mass. The auditorium did not look like an auditorium with all the decorations that the youth had put up on Thursday. The youth ministry is benefiting from the dance with a portion going to their mission trip this summer. They did a great job with the dance. The kids were all dressed in black and white, including bow ties and cumabuns (not sure of spelling). It's a big fundraiser with a nice sit down meal. I knew it was Barry's chemo day so we didn't attend. Next year though we will!

Barry's doing fine. Required no pain meds this treatment. Each treatment can vary so greatly.
As we were talking to the nurse and discussing the delay in being discharged, she mentioned another patient that has the same chemo treatment. A 16 year old boy. Now that puts your life into prospective. He always wishes to get out by 7 a.m.! A real kidder. Same age as Tim. Life is so crazy, isn't it. We are so lucky.

Update on Barry

I've just left Barry at the hospital and have arrived safe and sound at the Family House where I'll be staying.

There was a bit of discrepancy on what number chemo treatment this was. According to my blog, which I don't believe is wrong, it is number 7. But the hospital records today showed it be #6. I tend to believe my records as he has MUGA scans on the odd number treatments. And that was done last week.

The CT scans from last week showed the tumor that had been treated last time had a small change in size. It went from 3.9 c.m. to 4.1 c.m. The dr. has assured me that this is not a significant change to be worried about. He came to see us as Barry was sleeping in the afternoon. He did not want to wake him up, so he talked with me. Was very comforting to me. Even drew me a picture of the area in question. Therefore, today's chemo was aimed directly at the area that had growth. He will have CT scans in 8 weeks. If there is growth, chemo will be done then. If none, he will have chemo 2 weeks later. Not sure of Dr. G's exact words, but basically said we proceed as we have been doing: onward. I did feel good after talking with him.

Barry got to his room at about 12:30 p.m. I ate in cafeteria and once I knew he was in the room, I checked in at the house. Watched a soap opera and took a small nap. Felt like heaven. Got back to hospital by 3 p.m. The whole afternoon Barry slept. Did not require any pain meds! No soreness in usual belly area. He continues to be a real trouper. After his 6 hrs. of laying flat on his back, he ate a good dinner which I had saved for him. Watched some TV and went back to sleep. I left him at about 8:30 a.m.

I'll be going back in morning by 8 a.m. to see Dr. G again for discharge papers.
Just wanted to give everyone an update on him as I know people would like to know.
Again, thanks for everything. And thanks also for taking good care of Tim while we are away. Means a lot to me.

Barry's 7th treatment

Barry heads to Pittsburgh in the a.m. for his 7th chemoembolization. It's been 10 weeks since his last treatment. Once again we have to be there by 6 a.m.

Will keep you up to date once I'm back online. Thanks for your continued thoughts and prayers.

Medical appts. today

Barry was out of the house by 6 a.m. today for his appt. in the city. Got there about an hr. early, better early than late. They were able to co-ordinate the 2 types of tests therefore taking less time. Results next Friday at his chemo treatment.

I had my 6 months appt. with my radiation/oncologist this morning. He gives the best exam. Very thorough. Closes his eyes and moves his hands slowly around the breasts. I told him that I had looked forward to this appt. as in the back of my head, the worry is there. Especially since there has been an ache near the incision. He reassured me that surgery can effect the nerves in the area for a couple of years or more. Did not feel anything out of the ordinary except scar tissue. Told him of my recent on and off aches in my right arm. This has been happening since October. He's been the first doctor that has taken the initiative and has scheduled me to see neurologist on Monday. Possibly could be related to ulnar nerve. Whatever it is, it's caused discomfort first of January and just last night.

He confirmed that my mammogram is next month. And my next appt. with him is in 6 months. This will represent 2 years out of treatment. And according to him the recurrence rate drops drastically at this time period. So a reason to celebrate.

CT Scans tomorrow

See, I'm still here. Just have been taking a break since nothing new to report.
Tomorrow Barry will be heading to Pittsburgh for CT scans and MUGA heart scan in the morning. It has been 9 weeks since his last chemoembolization treatment. And it sure does feel like a long time. His next treatment is in one week. In the past they were 8 weeks in between treatments. I continue to pray positive thoughts. This month it will have been one year of treatments to Pittsburgh. A long year. I've actually changed the way I'm praying. I know that no change in size is good news, but I want great news now. Call me selfish. Just a small reduction. Barry has noticed some hair loss these past few months, and this treatment did cause more discomfort/pain than the others. (different side of liver was treated)

Since there is one week in between having the CT scans and treatment, his doctor should have lots of time to plan the next attack.

Will keep you posted..

Not much happening. Thank goodness.

Just a quick note to say hello. Have heard from a couple of friends directly. Wondering how things were on my end. I haven't blogged lately due to no real news. Which is probably good news in itself. Barry's next CT scans are Feb 2, followed by his next chemo treatment on Feb 9th. Geez, where does the time go? All is fine here. Tim's getting over a cold from last week.
He continues to play soccer and has now signed on to be in school musical as a background singer. Told me it's a real bit part, but I'm glad he took the initiative just to be a part of something. The play is in April and does require a lot of practice time. We're looking forward to the spring.

On the news today I read that deaths relating to cancer are on decline, second year in a row. Geez, you could fool me. Seems everyday you hear of cancer. Just yesterday Benny Parsons died. They killed the tumor in his lungs, but also damaged one of his lungs while doing so. It's just another cancer story that hits home. There was a poll question on a website tonight that I saw: do you believe there will be cure for cancer? About 2/3 who voted said no, I am optomistic and was part of the 1/3.

Again, thanks for wondering about us. We're fine, just was taking a breather.

Angels

You know, God works in mysterious ways. A saying that has been said so many times. This came to my mind. A friend of mine, Tina, is going through chemo for breast cancer. I had not seen her since before Christmas, so I decided to stop in at the store where she works during my lunch today. Gave her a hug and just wanted to tell her I was thinking of her. Never mentioned the words "you look good today" to her since I know how Barry feels when people tell him that. Me, it never bothered but his feelings are present and I understand where he's coming from.

This evening I decided to stop by her house and bring her a Hope charm I had bought for her, along with several of the hats I wore while I was bald and beautiful! They weren't doing any good in my drawer and I figured she might enjoy the bright colors. I pull up to her house and notice many cars in driveway. I realize she has teenagers and that perhaps it was friends playing there. I knock on the door and am greeted by BJ (another friend of mine). She whispers to me "shhhh, the angel ladies are here." Heck, I didn't know what the heck she was talking about. There were other friends there, as they were having a small party/gathering whereas the 2 angel ladies do some kind of spritual readings on you. (for a fee). Tina asked that I stay, which I did for awhile with my coat on. Got my mind to thinking as I was there. I have often said that angels do walk among us. Not only are the 2 ladies who do the readings angels, but all our friends who get together just to socialize/talk with. Perhaps in someway, I was an angel this evening. If I've learned anything these past couple of years, it is to spread Hope and friendship. PS. Without even charging a cent $. :)

Please pray for Gary who is struggling with cancer and it's pain. I just got email from his wife Barb who has asked that prayers be sent his way. Thanks.

Another survivor

I was surfing the web and came across a blog created by Lynne who has been diagnosed with gall bladder cancer. I took the time to read her informational blog, and I posted a comment on it. I know from personal experience that just knowing people are reading your blog it is a big boost to you personally. And as you can see, she has in turn posted on my blog. Just another angel walking among us.

So don't be shy, please post if you are taking the time to read my thoughts. It is a great pick me upper....

Thanks, Lynne.

I'm still here

I know it's been a week since bloggin' but I have no real excuse. Just busy living and working like every one else.

Today was another one of those Rockwell painting moments. Tim got invited to play Monopoly at a classmates house along with a few other friends this afternoon. For some reason this just hit me as one of those days I say "you have to love this town." Teenagers getting together to play a board game. Pretty nice, in my opinion.

I took advantage of this time and had a nap. For the past couple of weeks I've not been my good ole' self. Have weaned myself off of two medicines, one that was used to treat night sweats and the other for anxiety. Both were taken at bedtime. I'm not really liking the side effects, slight as they may be. I'm back to being sweaty and hot, and not having a good night's sleep. Have once again experienced discomfort in my right arm for a couple of days. Feeling very heavy, as if something wrong with a nerve. And my pinky finger and palm ached. Every position I would sleep would not be a good position. I feel that it's time to cut my hair short again just to get it off my head. It was my decision to wean myself off, which I did in a two week process according to my doctor. But since have read that one of these medicines is wicked to get off of. It's almost like the drug companies put something in them to keep you on forever. The doses were even small to start with. Now I ponder, is it worth it? Worth not having a good night's sleep?

I try not to complain as I know Barry's going through something much more difficult than me being restless and achy. Just another way that cancer sucks.

A new Year begins

As planned, we went out to dinner last night with about 4 families. We had a very nice time. Afterwards we went to Beckster's house and played Taboo. Not sure of the correct spelling of this game. It was pretty fun. Lots of laughs. We got home at about 11:30 p.m. We opened up a bottle of champagne that had made a home in our refrigerator for quite a long time. Heaven only knows how long. Took Barry all his strength just to unpop the cork.

The 3 of us toasted in the New Year and I undecorated the Christmas tree.

We slept in this a.m. and then I cooked pork chops for lunch. Unfortunately Barry had to go to work early today. Sort of had to eat and run. I did some "spring" cleaning of windows. Tim's friend Ben came over and they played some video games.

And for the first day of the new year, I did not even have a nap! Maybe that will let me sleep better tonight.

I love the ability to look back in time at my blog postings. Otherwise I would not remember what had happened.

Again, have a healthy new year.

Happy new Year

This a.m. we went to a different church. Tim had a friend sleepover, and he was to come with us to our church. At the last minute, I asked if his church was an upbeat music type of church. He said not really, but that his older brother was going to cantor at the morning mass. And I know that both of these boys have such beautiful voices. That was it. We took off to their church and surprised his parents when we walked in. We sat in front of them. It was a small church but with such great warmth. They had usher greeters at the door, and the priest who was lined up to go down the church shook our hands as we entered.

I was truly glad that we went to that mass. His brother sang beautifully. Was especially pleased to see a woman from where I work there, only a couple of weeks from having a stroke. Heard that she was back at church within a week of having it. Apparently a quick healer due to her young age.

Brought Tim to his girl friends' home this afternoon. I took advantage afterwards and too a nap. Ask Barry. He'll tell you that it was not a nap, but a marathon sleep. Felt good.

Well, got to get dressed. Get ready to celebrate the New Year coming in. I saw a sign on a local board today:

May your troubles last as long as your new years resolutions!


Happy and of all things, a Healthy New Year.

Thanks Katie for the carrots. Please come back to see me when it's warmer!

  

My mother treated the horses to carrots when she would take a walk.

  

We only had turkeys in our backyard this week. No deer in site.

  

My mother and I in God's country. Nothing like the country.

  

Christmas Eve with Barry and my mother.

  

A fast week

This week went by too fast. Totally enjoyed having my parents here this week. Worked out great since Barry had some days off from his job, and Tim had no school.
The week consisted of some nice meals, both homecooked and restaurants. Barry did a couple of walks with them and even today we went walking together at the local track.

My mother did good while here. Is dealing with dementia/alzheimers which is a terrible disease. And considering she was in a different environment I think she handled it very well. As is often the case, long term memory is not effected. This at least can be a blessing. She also has a pretty good appetite.

In fact while I was driving them from the airport last Saturday, my dad mentioned that he was looking to sell my mother's car. He had not thought of Tim being a driver in a couple of months. Both Barry and I thought the same thought at the same time: good car for Tim. So we will be buying it from them and getting it in February some time. Barry has already envisioned my driving it to work a lot since it has better gas mileage than my truck. I think it's a perfect fit for our needs.

Again, had a great time with my parents. Have to admit that I shed tears as I left the airport. But have to put them aside and be thankful that they were able to travel here for this special visit. This was the first Christmas in many years that anyone has come to see us. I am so lucky to have had them here. As I told my mom, we are lucky to be mobile.

After I got home, I stopped by the Beckster's home for a quick visit. After finding out that none of us had New Year's Eve plans, she has arranged a get together for a few couples tomorrow night. This is the best way I can see of ringing in the new year. Friends. That's what it's all about.

Merry Christmas!

As expected, and I'm glad to say so, I'm just getting online at 8:20 p.m. Christmas Day. Too busy enjoying family. Santa arrived safe and sound.

You can tell when your kids are getting old when they ask to go to someone else's house for a holiday meal. This happened today when Tim went to his girlfriend's home.

Barry and my father went for short walk today. My mother and I never left the house. Just stayed inside. Even that was nice.

Tomorrow I head unfortunately back to work. At least Barry will be able to have a few days off with my parents, along with Tim.

Again, Merry Christmas!

Another nice day with family

Tim cooked Mom and me eggs this a.m. Then we went for walk up to see and feed the horses. Have been taking pictures to remember this great visit.

We went to 5 p.m. mass since I was a eucharistic minister at that time. Church was filled on all sides. Our newly formed children's choir sang songs before and during the mass. Just 2 months in the formation of this choir but you would never know it. Beautiful voices which I truly enjoyed.

As soon as we got back from church, Tim went to another church service with a friend of his. Both times he was dressed up so nicely.

Well, other than that a quiet relaxing day with family.

And just in case I don't sign on in a.m. :

Merry Christmas and a Healthy New Year to all my friends and family.

A safe trip to God's country

My parents arrived safe and sound this a.m. to where I call God's country. My 7:30 a.m. they were in Pa. It was so great seeing them. All 3 of us went to the airport to pick them up. We then went out to breakfast at a local restaurant. Came home and then went out to Sam's Club for some meats for rest of week. Wasn't even that crowded considering it's Christmas weekend. Tim cooked us hot dogs on the grill, and later on Mom and I went to feed the horses up the road. I was so pleased when she remembered the clip clops and the Amish buggies. Both dads rested a bit.

We had Mexican food for dinner. Fajitas proved to be too much for my parents. On our way home we thought briefly of going caroling at Beckster's home, but Barry didn't want to catch her once again in her Victoria Secrets!

Good night.

Happy Birthday, Barry!

Birthdays...

I want to wish my friend Beckster a Happy Belated Birthday. And I also want to tell everyone that Barry's birthday is TOMORROW... So if you see either of them, please wish them well.
*****************

Tonight Tim and I went to see (or should I say listen to) our school's Christmas Concert. And yes, it is still called a Christmas Concert. We live in a small town and even though we may not be politically correct, the chorus is able to have such a concert. Once again, another reason why I love this town. So many talented kids, good kids. In a world where you hear so many stories of kids that have gone bad, it's such a blessing to see and hear good kids. From singing to playing instruments, we have a lot of good talent. The chorus was made up of 80 High Schoolers and 64 Middle Schoolers. I was drawn to going to it by overhearing a conversation of my friend the Beckster. She was explaining that the chorus is still able to sing Christian type songs in this day and age. And that her son would be doing a solo part in the concert. Put these 2 things together, and how could it not be enjoyable.
Even Tim was swaying with his friends at the back of the auditorium.

A great time.

Tis the season

Sorry I haven't blogged this week. Past couple of nights, I've taken Tim to do his Christmas shopping. He's actually a good shopper. Comes up with cool ideas.

Now off to bed. Couple more days and guess who comes? Can't wait.

My parents are coming for Christmas!

I've just got confirmation that my parents are flying here for Christmas! Last minute planning, and boy are we excited. For the first time they will be flying, rather than the long drive. In the past Tim has gone to the Cape for Christmas break, but this year it chose to stay home (I think to be with Barry!). I can't remember the last time we were together for this holiday. Will work out good since Tim will be on break. Originally I had planned to go there for the holiday, but due to not having any vacation or time left of any kind I wasn't able to do this.

You see, miracles do happen! I'll even be serving at Christmas eve mass.

I've just spent a couple of evenings typing up my Christmas letter. Trying to sum up a year is quite difficult, but I do feel it's needed especially for people we don't see. I know how much I enjoy reading other people's yearly cards.

Barry continues to have discomfort in his abdomen/chest areas. Not sure what it's all about, just praying that pain is being caused by chemo drug destroying cancer cells. He's not one to complain, so I know he is not feeling that great. Even last night he was awakened by the pain.

Tim and I attended a mission meeting at our church tonight. He is going on his first mission with our church next July. Last year he had wanted to attend a mission, but I thought it best for him to be home with his dad. That was more important. He's looking forward to it this coming year.

Well, that's it for today. Time to hit the bed. One day done, 4 to go.

Colon update: no polyps and looks good

In less than one day I lost 7 lbs.! And for once in my life, you can't tell me that I'm full of sh*t. Off to colonoscopy.
Tim has 2 hr. delay due to first real snow accumulation. Roads look yucky to me.

3 p.m. update:

Got to hospital by 8 a.m. and walked out of the hospital at noon. Nothing to the actual procedure. I was totally under anesthesia. Fastest ever going under and waking up. As people will tell you, the worst is the preparation of drinking the salty mixture. At least for me. Barry's one who just gulps it down, me: took me about 15 mins. to drink about 4 ounces total liqued. Barry called me a "whiner!"
Actually I was ready to leave directly after the procedure, but had to drink some soda and just wait it out for discharge. BJ: nothing to it. And the best thing it's good for TEN YEARS! Can't beat that.

There's always a good comment that sticks in my brain to use on my blog. While I was in room waiting, Barry used the bathroom. As he came out he said to me, "I didn't even have to measure it.!" Made us laugh. So many times he is the one in the hospital with his chemo and always has to measure his pee. You see, there's always something to laugh about.

Afterwards, we went out to lunch and treated ourselves to DQ.

Now I'm headed to bed to take a nap.

Tim's off to his football game which is being played away tonight. Only wish temps would have been warmer for the players, band and fans. Keeping fingers crossed that they continue their winning record.

10 p.m.
Our football season has ended. Team lost tonight, and by a big score. Oh well, there's still next year. Marching band is finally done for the year. Can't wait to ask Tim how bad the temps were. P.S. BJ: you can still go shopping...

Barry

For the past couple of days, Barry's been having pain in his chest/belly/liver area. This treatment was aimed for the first time at the other side of his liver. So we have to think positive, pain is good. Pain means the chemo is doing it's job, killing bad cancer cells. It's not like Barry to complain, and that's how I know he is having discomfort.

Tonight Tim and I went to soccer banquet. I was pleasantly surprised when it was announced that Tim got MVP for JV soccer. Very proud of him. Also got to see a friend who just had her first chemo treatment for breast cancer this a.m. Brought back so many memories for me. She was the caterer for the banquet, and boy does she know how to cook. I'm sure her mind was elsewhere, and I can understand that. But she's a survivor, and I know she'll make it.

Tomorrow is Tim's winter/Christmas concert. Looking forward to that.

And since our football team is going further on into their championship, the band will be traveling away on Friday to play for them. If they win that game, it's off to Hershey, PA! Wishing them luck.

Friday is colonoscopy time for me. Yahoooo.

Update on my health

I had a 6 months follow-up appt. with my oncologist on this past Thursday. Had him do blood work to check my cholestorol. It was once again confirmed that it is high and needs to be addressed. I will be seeing my primary dr. mid Decemeber. He was the one who had checked it a few months ago. Have talked to my sister, she and both of my parents have same problem. My sister has tried a couple of the meds for it, and has had bad reactions with muscle pain. That is one side effect that is mentioned. It doesn't help that I eat junk food and perhaps am a little stressed. But will try to do better if only for Tim.

Also mentioned to my dr. about the discomfort in my right breast which had cancer. Is thinking it's lymphodema related and has contacted a physical therapist to look into treatment for that.

Have also been having problems with my left knee. Unable to extend the leg straight, bad ache. Like under the knee cap. That's another body part I have to have my primary dr. look into through X Ray.

And finally, I'm having my first colonoscopy on Friday, Dec. 8. Not working that day. Will be put totally under anesthesia due to meds I take. Have put this off since I turned 50. But know it's something that needs to be done.

Other than that, I'm in good shape! I can't complain, lots of people in worse shape.
Like I say, you wake up it's a good day.

Barry's home

I got to the hospital this a.m. by 8. Shortly afterwards Dr. G. stopped by to give him the OK to go home. Unfortunately, paperwork and waiting for 2 small pills delayed our leaving until about 11:15 a.m. This was probably one of our latest discharges.

Barry slept OK. Had some morphine when I arrived, in preparation for the ride home. Has discomfort on the other side of liver this time, do to that side being chemo'd (not a word, I know). It appears that is next appt. will be extended to be a 10 week period instead of the 8 weeks we've been doing since Feb. 06. As long as the cancer remains the same size with the current treatment, we're in good shape. If before the next appt. the CT scan shows a growth change, this plan will be altered once again. You have to be careful on how much chemo drugs are given. All these months Barry's tests on liver functions have been perfect! And that is wonderful news.

I got to nap for about 45 mins. this p.m. Then I had to take Tim to a birthday party. Would have liked more time but Tim comes first...Barry on the other hand has not slept at all today. His face is flushed which happens after every treatment. But like the energizer bunny, he keeps on tickin'.

We're off for Barry's 6th chemoemolization

Have to be there for our usual 6 a.m. start of the day. Wish us luck.
And yes, GO HOUNDS!


UPDATED 8:50 p.m.

Just got back to the Family House where I stay overnight. Barry and I got to the hospital by 6 a.m. Since he had already had CT scans last week, this was not done today. The scans showed no change in the lungs and liver, which as cancer goes is good news. When Dr. G. stopped in to see him this evening, he told us that this was indeed good news. And that Barry would be around not just for weeks or months, but for years at this pace. His treatments could be spread out for more weeks, such as treatments every 12 weeks if the cancer stays as is. This was nice to hear.

Barry was done from his treatment by 11:30 a.m. Unfortunately the room that he was to go to did not get cleaned until after 2:30 p.m. I was over at that floor and saw the bed empty, but room not being cleaned. Quite annoying as the bed Barry had been on most of the morning does not have the best mattress. It was at 2:30 that I went to check in at my lodging. Today the waiting just got to me and I was whipped. Not very comfortable just sitting and waiting in a hard chair, especially since being up at 4 a.m. I literally just layed on bed with sheet over me. So mentally exhausted. Been a long year and 1/2, can't even imagine how long it feels like to Barry. Did call Tim to tell him I was going to nap. Was in bed for 2 hrs. and then went back to see Barry in his room. This treatment involved chemo aimed at the other side of his liver, creating a lot of pain. Barry's been given morphine for the pain, and slept most of the time I was there. I did feed him some jello before I left.

That's it for today. Heading to my room and into my jammies.

Of course, will check in with TIm to see if our team won.

Cancer sucks

I just heard tonight at a soccer game that another friend of mine has been diagnosed with breast cancer. It was just last week that another one of Tim's classmates' mom had a masectomy due to cancer. Cancer is touching so many lives. The following is another portion of Leroy Sievers blog on npr.org that he posted today:
++++++++++++++++
I guess we could find some solace in the knowledge that we're not alone, that so many others are walking the same path. But that's little comfort; in fact, it's no comfort at all. I think this is all a sign that something has gone wrong. Far too many people are facing cancer. Somehow, some way, it has to be stopped. It just has to be.

-- Leroy Sievers
++++++++++++++++

They are going to start a food chain for this woman. Now I will be able to give back what others gave to us. Having food delivered was a God sent blessing while we were going through treatment.

Tim, Ben and a couple of their friends.

  

Tim said to me "I love hunting."

  

Another picture...

  

Tim with his 9 pt. buck.

  

A successful first day of HUNTING

Have heard from Lisa that Tim is on his way home with a 9 point buck (8 pts. and 1 baby one growing). They are returning with a total of 4 deer from their group. Geez, more deer meat! Everyone knows how much I like it.... But am pleased that the guys had a good day of hunting.

Congrats. Hopefully they took pics and I will post them online.

Tim has arrived home. What an excited kid. Says "I love hunting." Shot the first and only one he saw at about 9:30 a.m. One shot. Has added a new item to his Christmas list: a gutting knife/field dresssing knife. I think we can accomodate that..

Thanks to Mike P. for taking him once again. We really do appreciate it.

A comment from Leroy Sievers' blog

The following is from a blog I read daily on NPR.ORG, written by Leroy Sievers. I thought this entry for 11/27/06 was worth sharing:

______________________________________________________________


The Things We Knew We Should Be Doing All Along

“A doctor told me early on that cancer meant many people would want to talk about things I definitely didn't want to talk about. He was right. I have to talk about my body to strangers. I have to talk to my doctors about my greatest fears. I have to talk about my death.”

November 27, 2006 · The following is a commentary from Morning Edition, Nov. 27, 2006:

I was up at the cancer center the other day, waiting for a friend. I just sat and watched all the people. You can tell the regulars right away. They walk with purpose. Off to the lab for blood work. Upstairs for chemo. They're the ones saying 'hi' to the nurses and doctors who've become their friends.

You can tell the people on their first visit just as easily. They have that lost look of new students on the first day of school -- not sure where anything is or what they're supposed to do. The regulars have gotten past that deer-in-the-headlights look. Their faces show determination more than anything else.

I noticed one man in the lobby. He was wearing his bathrobe and he didn't seem concerned at all. I saw a young woman frantically looking for someone. I assumed they were father and daughter. When they found each other, they hugged. The young woman held on tightly. It was a very private moment... in a very public place.

Would they have done that before the man got cancer? Would they even have hugged, except on rare occasions?

I think one of the things cancer does is break down the walls of our pride. A doctor told me early on that cancer meant many people would want to talk about things I definitely didn't want to talk about. He was right. I have to talk about my body to strangers. I have to talk to my doctors about my greatest fears. I have to talk about my death. But it doesn't bother me anymore.

I don't worry as much about keeping up a facade, either. I have cried, more than I ever had before. I've been more open to friends and loved ones about how much they mean to me. Before I got sick, I would've been embarrassed to say some of those things out loud.

In the cancer wards, you see more physical displays of affection. A touch, a hand on the shoulder, some gesture meant to reassure or just let the other person know they're not alone. Cancer teaches that worrying what other people will think and being discreet is something we don't have time for.

What has happened, I think, is that we've all been humbled. Cancer has freed us to do the things we knew we should be doing all along.

I don't think I'll ever forget the image of that man in the bathrobe and that young woman holding on to each other so tightly in the midst of a crowd. For me, that's life as it should be lived.

-- Leroy Sievers


______________________________________________________________

Cancer gives you a second chance at life.

Hunting season begins tomorrow

Barry met with the lung surgeon on Friday. The surgeon was amazed when he couldn't find a spot that previously was a hold from the procedure. Said that Barry heals quite fast. He was given a return to work note for tonight. This is quite fast considering we were told the normal recovery is 30 days, and it's only been just about 2 weeks. We also heard from Dr. G., Barry's doctor for his chemoembolization. Barry's scheduled for what I believe is his 6th treatment this coming Friday, Dec. 1st. For some reason, this appt. seems so long in coming, perhaps because we had the lung biopsy just 2 weeks ago.

Tim has been gone since Friday a.m. Just called me. They will be heading out early in the a.m. for the first day of buck season. Quite excited. And like here, their weather has been warm considering it's the end of November. Said it has been in the 50's. I hope he has good luck like last year. He told me that he's been playing lots of poker with the guys.

Happy Thanksgiving

We had a beautiful day today in western PA. Temp was about 50 degrees. Tim and I did some morning raking even.

Barry prepared the whole turkey dinner today. The only thing I did was to buy the turkey! We had mashed potato, he even made cranberry orange relish. Everything was delicious. Lisa sent over some dessert for us, a jello/coolwhip/mandarin oranges delight. Mmmmmm. Afterwards, we did the usual thing. Took naps..

Tim leaves in morning for his deer hunting weekend. He's looking forward to another bonding with the guys. And hopefully on Monday they will be lucky.

Barry sees his surgeon in a.m. following his CT scan. Praying for positive results.

What are you thankful for?

Tonight I went to see Tim play an indoor soccer game. While there, I talked as usual with my friend Lisa. She was telling me of their Thanksgiving church service tonight. At one point of the service, each person had to find another person to talk to and to tell them one thing they were thankful for. And that person would in turn do the same. And congregation was given a chance to if they wanted to, to openly stand up and announce what they were thankful for. What a neat idea. I wish I had been there.

Me, I'm thankful for my family. Especially Barry and Tim, and of course parents and all. I'm truly thankful for our friends who have become angels in our lives. And I guess you have to be thankful to God for each and every day we're here. And I'm thankful for the strength that I have, strength that I never knew I had until cancer entered our lives.

What are you thankful for?

Happy Thanksgiving.

Update

Barry's been doing at home what he would have been doing at a hospital: resting. Has not left the house since coming home. Perhaps today we'll venture out. Hasn't been able to get any good sleep, hard to get a comfortable position. Mostly has to stay on his back. Has not taken any pain meds all week.

Appears to be a dry day outside now. Hoping to get some last minute leaves taken away. May attempt to start up leaf blower that my in-laws gave us. That will be Tim's job.

Today Tim will be helping out at an All Star Sr. Soccer game, and then he will be headed for band practice which will lead into the away football game. Won't see much of him today.

I'm off to pick up pies at school. Another fundraiser. Have a good day.

PS. We've been fed like royalty this week..

Pathology report is in

We got the pathology results this a.m. They confirm that the lungs do have the same type of rare cancer as the liver. At least we know. Results show that the liver metastisized (unsure of spelling) to the lungs. Meaning that the original cancer was in the liver. This is what Dr. G. in Pittsburgh had told us when we met him in February. So accordingly, Barry will continue on with the same chemo as he has been getting: directly into the liver. That is the largest area involved, so that is our focus.

He has a follow up appt. with the surgeon in 2 weeks, and if all goes on plan, his next chemo will be Dec. 1st. It's very important to Barry to continue on this same schedule.

As I've said before, knowing is half the battle. Had we not done this surgery, we would not have had this confirmation.

I did go to work today, after giving Tim a treat and driving him to school. Went in a few minutes late. Barry spent the day catching up on sleep, as he didn't get much sleep last night. Rest is the best medicine.

YEAH: Emmitt and Cheryl won Dancing with the Stars!!

Barry is home!

I got to the hospital at about 9 a.m. He had been given some vicadin, which he doesn't tolerate that well. Tends to make him nauseous. Other than that, he had no medications all day. A real strong guy. Didn't even nap. Got up and out of bed, did walk with physical therapist, showed strengths to another therapist. Both said, you're finished! No need for additional therapy. As my dad said, his chemo dr. also stopped by to say hi to him. Nice guy. During the afternoon, one of his dr.s came in and said that he could stay the night, or gome. He chose go home. I do think he'll sleep good tonight in his own bed.

Tim was able to spend the night with a friend last night. I want to thank BJ for that, along with the great meal that was at our home waiting for us. She and another friend of ours, Linda, had made meals for us. Even though Barry shared his hospital dinner with me, we ate the real dinner when we got home at 8 p.m. this evening. You see, angels continue to be around us. THANKS so much for everyone. Especially the prayers. And Tim told me that BJ also made him lunch for school. Tim was funny when he told me this. Said it was first time in decade that he took lunch to school!

Barry amazed me once again. Got discharged at 6:30 p.m. and walked out of hospital, no wheelchair. A tough cookie. I've pulled myself up and out of my pity party mood from yesterday, and have continued to go forward. Once you sit in a waiting room and spend time with others in the hospital, you truly know what else others are going through. There are so many others with stories to tell, and for others to listed to.

Again, thanks.

Barry update

Barry got out of surgery at 2:45 p.m. I spoke briefly to dr. Told me that Barry would be in recovery a minimum of 2 hrs. I am actually using a pc in the waiting room of the hospital. It's been a tiring day, but can't imagine what Barry's been through today. I last saw him at 11:30 a.m. The surgeon told me that Barry came through operation nicely. Upon visual examination of tissue, the patholigist does believe that the tissue is cancer. Even though we've lived with thinking this, it is a shock once again to hear that terrible word. A roller coaster ride once again.
Have talked to Tim, but of course did not mention anything to him. Dr. did say that he may be able to come home as early as tomorrow depending on the drain having no drainage. That's promising.

The place where I'm staying is about 15 minute walk. Not bad. They do have busing until 9 p.m. Not sure if I would walk at night time by myself.

Again. thanks for concerns. Let's pray for quick healing.

My family will update blog tomorrow for everyone

I will be asking one of my family members to place an update on my blog tomorrow after I hear the results of Barry's surgery. Thanks again for all your good wishes and prayers. It will be either a comment or a posting.

Questions

Barry worked on his truck most of the afternoon yesterday. Not what I thought he should be doing days before surgery, but something that he said needed to be done. Wanted to do it because he's not sure how he will be feeling afterwards.

Tim went to the school football playoff game. Barry and I stayed home, not a time to be out in cold drizzly weather. Have to stay healthy. The team won so they will continue on in the playoffs. They remain undefeated.

Last night Barry asked me a question. He asked me what would I feel if the biopsy does show cancer? Didn't really answer him.

A short while later, my brain went into play. And I told him this: for about 18 months we've lived with the understanding that he had lung cancer that went to the liver. And by having this biopsy, this will become clearer to us. My thoughts are: if it is indeed cancer, why has it not changed in size over all these months? Especially since Feb 2006 when he only has had chemo to the liver. And if it is cancer, is it a different kind of cancer? The liver cancer is a very rare type of cancer according to the experts. A lot of questions, and hopefully by the end of the week we'll have answers.

Since Barry continues to be Barry, he will be working tonight. And then we'll be on the road to Pittsburgh by 6 a.m.

Again, thanks for all your thoughts and prayers.

Today I did something that I have not done in a long time, well actually never in November. I drove my scooter to work. And boy was it cold in the a.m. It was about 37 degrees. Froze my butt off (well perhaps my chin and legs). At least the ride home was warmer. I couldn't resist after my boss told me that he was going to ride his new bike to work today. It became a challenge to me. Am glad I did it.

Heard from the surgeon and hospital today. Barry has to be at the hospital Monday at 8 a.m. and the surgery is scheduled for 11 a.m. Before the surgery he will need a EKG. Yesterday when he went to his primary doctor with the prescription for a EKG, their opinion was it was not needed due to having one after the stress test. But we did learn that there is a slight difference in these EKGs, whereas they need one which shows the graphs.

I want to thank everyone for their thoughts and prayers. I am going into this knowing that Barry's been so strong these past 18 months with his chemo treatments, and that he will recover quickly. It's just something we need to do to answer the question, is there cancer in the lungs? The biopsy results will take about 5 days according to the surgeon.

Stress test

Barry and I got to Pittsburgh for his 8 a.m. appt. this morning. The stress test lasted about 4 hrs. as we had been told. They gave him the medication through an IV. The drug had an immediate result on him. He told me that he would never recommend that test to anyone. He felt as if he couldn't catch his breath, discomfort than continued throughout his whole body. I think he felt that for about 10-15 minutes. They took pictures before and after the test. He was able to leave for about 1 hour to eat a meal. We left the hospital at noon.

Since we got home at about 1:15 p.m., I thought briefly about hopping into bed but then figured I should get myself to work for a few hours. Barry was heading to work today, so there was no logical reason that I couldn't go too. They were actually surprised to see me, but by me going there it does show them I also have a good work ethic. I stayed after everyone had left to make up some time. Ended up working about 4 hrs. which is better than missing the whole day. Plus working keeps my mind off of things.

Tomorrow Barry goes for his EKG and blood work at his local doctor's office.

Heading to Tim's 2nd indoor soccer game tonight.

Buffalo Bills game

With all that happened today, I forgot to talk about the Bills game yesterday. First of all they actually WON. That made going to the game even better. Once again it was such a treat to see Mel Jr. play, and of course to see his parents. It was a warm day for November in Buffalo. Didn't even need to wear a hat. I think it was almost 50 degrees. This time we were able to sit with his parents at about the 50 yard line. Can't beat that.

Afterwards we went to his home and pizza was delivered. His aunt from Alabama had come to visit, and she was so nice. Looks just like her sister.

Lung surgery scheduled for Monday

Tim went to Pittsburgh with us today for Barry's appointment with thoracic surgeon. It was a productive appointment. Barry has been scheduled for a stress test this Wednesday, followed by lung surgery this coming Monday, the 13th. I believe the procedure is called a lung resection. Barry will be totally out for the surgery. The surgeon will be going through the chest area and the end result will be taking out a wedge size area of one of the lungs. Then the tissue will be biopsied. This will require a minimum of 2 days in the hospital, as Barry will have tubes for drainage, up to 5 days. The average recovery time is one month. The surgeon wanted this to be done before Barry's next chemo which is first of December. Lots of thoughts in our heads today. It shouldn't be, but it is, but Barry's main concern is not being able to be at his job for these days. Guess that's called work ethic. But you know, your health is number 1. I've already made reservations for myself at the Family House near the hospital for me to stay. Not sure for how long at this point.

We forgot to ask how soon we would know biopsy results. Barry did explain that his whole work life he has dealt with paper dust and silicone. And who knows if the spots that have appeared on the CT scans are that or cancer. I don't think anyone had even inquired of his job and chemicals. We just have so many questions in our heads, a lot of what ifs? What if it isn't cancer? All the chemo drugs had got that were geared to him having lung cancer that spread to liver. Since being diagnosed with the tumors in the liver, these spots on the lungs have never changed.

My head is tired, I can't even imagine how tired he is. But he will never show it.
It's so strange. Almost daily I speak the word "cancer" so matter of factly, but then out of the blue it hits me emotionally. I try to be strong but my human side comes through at times. I let it out but then quietly tell myself to get over it, to keep the faith. And then I move forward.

Girls night out

Today I did leaf clean up with mower and bagging attachment. Yard looks so much better. Tim washed my truck after Barry changed the oil in it.

I'm headed to "girls night" with some friends. Looking forward to it.

In the morning we are heading to see Buffalo Bills play. So a nice busy weekend.

Another Friday...

As scheduled, I had my 2nd MUGA scan this afternoon. I was gone from work for about 2 hrs. My favorite technician was there, and seemed to remember Barry from his scan about 6 weeks ago. They are so kind there, just the way they talk to the patients. His last words to me were "Say hi to Barry for me." Pretty good that he even mentioned his name. I don't know any results of this test, but am sure the cardiologist will call me next week.

Tim's at the High School football game tonight. I stayed home in my nice warm house. Have had an annoying dry cough these past couple of days. And I didn't want to be outside in the 30 degree weather. Plus, Barry had to work and without him it wouldn't be the same.

Just got off the webcam with my parents and sister. It's amazing what technology can do. One of these days I'm going to have to get my mike to work for audio. But to see them is such a treat anyway.

MUGA 2 scan tomorrow

Barry's appointment with lung surgeon has been moved up to this Monday, Nov. 6th. That works out good for us, less waiting time.

I have my MUGA scan tomorrow afternoon. Can't believe it's been 6 months since the first one. And yes, I'll keep you posted on the technician.

We had some roofing material lose on our roof this past week, and I asked our friend Lisa if she knew anyone that did roofing. Had Barry been younger and healthier he would have been able to climb up there and pound in a few nails. She quickly made a phone call to one of her church members who is in construction. He came by today and fixed it. Tim helped him steady the ladder and fetch supplies as needed. Just another story of angels on earth. Thanks!

This evening Tim and I went to see the school play, Arsenic and Old Lace. It was not my decision to go, Tim wanted to support the school and to see his friends who were in it. But you know, I truly enjoyed it. Even though I prefer musicals, this was a talented group of kids. A lot of work. Amazes me how they can remember lines.

Update

Can't believe that I haven't posted anything for about a week. Shame on me. Nothing really new to report. Did have visit with my oncologist on Thursday to check on discomfort in right breat and arm. Swollen a bit, and he has prescribed an antibiotic for me. Possible infection brewing, warm to his touch. Could also be lymphedema related which does sound like it to me. That is connected to the ulna nerve which runs down to the hand. Probably why I've had tingling feeling in pinky and palm area. Haven't been able to sleep as good as I would like since I usually sleep on my right side, and that's been uncomfortable. I try not to "whine" as I can't imagine what Barry is feeling daily.

Friday night Tim went to an away football game. I stayed home. Too wet for me. The band ended up staying on the bus for most of the time. They played in the bleechers at 1/2 time. About 16 songs. The other team's own band didn't even attend. It was about 1 1/2 hrs. away. The whole time he was gone I was worrying about how cold and wet he was. So I was glad to know he was OK. The team won again. Undefeated and I believe they will be going to playoffs.

This past weekend has been very windy and rainy. Yesterday for about 5 minutes we had hail like snow storm, and wind so strong it was making it go sideways. Strange weather.

Last night Tim went to his first concert near Pittsburgh with a fellow classmate. Her father drove them there. Was able to see 4 small bands perform. Had a great time. All for $10. You can't beat that price. He was so cute in telling me of the concert.

Today I did some lawn work, picked up so many leaves. Sun was out most of the day. Still windy though. I love being outside.

This Friday I go for a repeat MUGA scan on my heart. Last one was done 6 months ago. The good thing about this test is the technician. Nice cute guy. He was there about a month ago when Barry had his test done. So am hoping he is still there now.

Tim has finished outdoor soccer (yeah) and will have his first indoor soccer game this Wednesday. Looking forward to it. Only 1 hour and inside where it's warm. You can't beat that.

34 degrees and snow showers now. And as I told dad, my Christmas cactus has a flower! And it's still October....

Another weekend over

All in all it was a nice weekend. We went to local football game on Friday night, they won again. Undefeated with record being 8-0 I believe. And of course, a chance to see Tim and the band perform which I enjoy. It was another evening of conversing with friends non-stop. It was a bit chilly at the game. Wish we had worn hats. I did hop into the hottub afterwards.

Yesterday a.m. the band performed for homecoming for the local college. It was really nice. Lots of people down our little main street. Barry bought new digital camera so he was taking a lot of pictures Friday night and yesterday morning. I was glad to see him so excited about having this new camera. He'll be able to zoom in closer than we've ever been able to. Wasn't on my top 10 things to buy, but with everything going on in his life he truly deserved it. My end thought was go for it, enjoy yourself.

Last night we went out to dinner again with 2 other couples and their kids. Went to a new restaurant which is always nice to check out. Especially when the food is good. All the time we lived elsewhere we never went out with other couples like here. Again, we are so blessed to be here.

About the only thing accomplished today was church. But then, it is Sunday which is a day of rest. Cooked a pork loin for lunch and Barry returned to work after being off for his chemo treatment. Tim played his usual Sunday game of racquetball with is friends. When he came home, we both took naps. Now some may say 3 hours is no nap! But boy did we sleep. Hadn't had such a sleep in a long time.

This week I have appt. with doctor to set up colonoscopy for myself, and a follow-up appt. with my oncologist. My finger, palm and arm area are much better. I self diagnosed it to possibly be ulna nerve. This job has entailed a lot of data entry which I am not used to. And am using a desk that is not really set for such a job. Just took it easy on Friday, noticing that the hand hurt when doing the typing. Trying to change the way I type while there.

Just want to say thanks for anyone who does read this blog. There are often days that I don't feel like writing anything, but when I get a posting from someone I realize that hey, there actually is someone reading this. And some days I just have nothing to say. So thanks for reading and caring.

PS. Dr. G is Barry's doctor from Pittsburgh. Touched my heart to know that he had the time to even read this, and to post a comment was so special. Thanks.

Barry meets with lung surgeon soon

Barry has been scheduled to see lung surgeon on November 10th. Had been set up for next Friday, but had to change it since he has to work. The appt. is at the Hillman Cancer Center in Pittsburgh. I'm taking time off from my work to go with him. It's a consultation so am looking forward to talking with an expert. Possible biopsy to show or not show if he has cancer of the lung.

Nothing wrong

I've noticed that my right breast has been sore lately, especially since I sleep on that side. Been restless before falling asleep. So yesterday I made an appt. with oncologist for next week. Last night during the evening, my right arm became very heavy feeling, as if asleep with tingling in the fingers. Realizing that I had lymph nodes removed and of course breast cancer, I made another call to cancer center and was seen this morning. Not by my usual doctor though.

Didn't feel that great about this dr. He did notice that the breast was a bit puffy, larger in size than the other. Did quick touch of it and sort of just wrote it off as nothing. I did ask him for more thorough exam on table which he did quickly. Says it is scar tissue, not consistent feeling with anything else. Didn't even check the whole breast. As for my arm, he made an appt. for me at the hospital, which I went directly to for a ultrasound of the veins (neck to hand). This ruled out blood clot. Negative, everything was fine.

My arm from elbow to fingers, especially pinky, still feel so heavy and weird. The cancer center told me that my regular doctor will call me tomorrow. Not sure what is up, just know that this pain in my breast and arms is new. I am not taking anything for it, don't want to mask it. Probably is nothing but with already having cancer, I am not gambling. Just know that I'm not imagining it.

As for Barry, today he was in the most pain he has ever been in for some reason. Pain is in his side area. And he is so tough, will not take prescription pain killer. Just takes alleve. But for him to complain, I know it must hurt. And we wonder what is causing this discomfort since the tumors seem to remain the same size.

No news is good news

Sorry I haven't posted in past couple of days. Nothing really new happening. Barry's been sleeping about 2 hrs. at a time at night, combination of chemo and steroids.

Tim's been doing his soccer which involves daily after school practice, and about 3 games a week. He also plays in the band each Friday for the school football game. He keeps himself busy. Hard to believe that next year he will be driving.

Had our first snow flurries today. Temps in high 30's and very windy. Geez, I am not looking forward to cold weather.

That's it for now.

Another survivor....

Just got finished doing some web surfing and came upon this story. A local 16 year old sophomore attends homecoming court. Here is an excerpt from the article:

Taylor is in the ninth month of an exhausting yet courageous battle for life. It was in mid-January that, following a bout with heartburn and loss of appetite, the Neshannock junior varsity cheerleader was diagnosed with rhabdomyosarcoma, a cancer of the soft tissues and muscles. Six days after Taylor was diagnosed, an aggressive yearlong regimen of chemotherapy was devised, and within days, she began to lose her shoulder-length blonde hair. On May 1, she underwent exploratory surgery to remove a tumor, followed by 16 days of radiation, which made her so ill she couldn't even sit up.


"Cancer patients talk about how chemo makes them sick, but she's handled the chemo pretty well," her mother, Andi, said. "It was the radiation that made her the sickest."


Her already petite 98-pound body shrunk to 80 pounds, and while she is up to 110 pounds, Andi estimates her daughter has spent 80 percent of the last nine months in Children's, limiting the homebound instruction she can receive.

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She is like I was, rather go bald than wear a wig. And that's how she went to the dance. You do gain strength through all this stuff. My prayers go out to her.

Meeting with liver transplant doctor

This morning we met with a liver transplant doctor before Barry was discharged. Dr. Marsh is affiliated with Dr. G. who has been treating Barry since February. This was our first meeting with him since Dr. G. was out of town at a conference. It was a very interesting meeting, a chance to pick his very smart brain. People from all around, including out of the USA come to this Transplant unit for transplants. So we are very fortunate to be able to even discuss such matters. Here is some stuff to think about:

The spots on his lungs: they look like cancer, but I do not believe they have ever been biopsied. Has only had liver biopsy that shows a specific rare type cancer. Has recommended a biopsy, with low risk, to try to get some tissue for true diagnosis. The reason is this: a liver transplant would not be an option for Barry if cancer is present in lungs since his immune system would be altered with the transplant, therefore allowing the lung cancer to grow. All these months, the spots on the lungs and tumors in liver have not changed in size. And remember this, the lungs have not been treated with chemo since February. So if we do the biopsy, perhaps when he has his next 8 week chemo, the results would at least give us some direction to take. Lots to think over.

On another topic. I have been following another blog. The address is

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=5497708

Very interesting to read about someone else. He has brain cancer I believe. A news reporter. I subscribe to get his blog update daily via email. I often post on his blog, as I know how much I appreciate that done on my blog.

Tim has gone to homecoming dance tonight. Actually went by himself. Am even more proud of him to know that he is comfortable in his skin to do that. Have heard there are quite a few kids that do this. Has gone out to dinner with about 6 other couples, all friends of each other. He looked so nice, along with the other couples. Heck, next year he will be able to drive himself there! Getting too old so quickly. I am just so glad that Barry was able to see if go tonight.

Oh, by the way. Barry is doing fine. Was given morphine up until he was discharged. And since being home has been feeling good. Always good to be in your own surroundings, without nurses bothering you. In our 5 times at being at this hospital, there has not been one specific nurse that stands out. I think of this as I think of my sister Maureen who is one of those stand out nurses. Maybe she could transfer to Pittsburgh for one of Barry's treatments!!!

Barry's 5th Chemo is complete!

I am bloggin' from the Family House, a place where families of patients can stay. My second time staying here. I've just left the hospital, since being there at 6 a.m. Barry got to his room at 2:30 p.m. after a morning of waiting and CT scans. The good news is that there has been no change in the tumors. A blessing. One could wish for shrinkage, but after you've been through cancer you are happy to hear no change.

Barry basically slept all afternoon. Has not eaten anything. Did have the pain like he did 2 cycles ago, but was able to sleep in between. Has been getting pain meds every 3 hrs.

I'll head back to hospital in a.m. Can't wait for my jammies. Am using a computer in a small room, but at least I'm online.

Night. Thanks for all your prayers. PS> My sister wrote me. One year ago was my last radiation treatment!

Article on MSNBC.COM today:

'Chemo brain' can last up to 10 years
Cancer treatment has longterm impact on mental function, study finds.........

Experts estimate at least 25 percent of chemotherapy patients are affected by symptoms of confusion, so-called chemo brain, and a recent study by the University of Minnesota reported an 82 percent rate, the statement said.

"People with 'chemo brain' often can't focus, remember things or multitask the way they did before chemotherapy," Silverman said. "Our study demonstrates for the first time that patients suffering from these cognitive symptoms have specific alterations in brain metabolism."

The study, published on Thursday in the online edition of Breast Cancer Research and Treatment, tested 21 women who had surgery to remove breast tumors, 16 of whom had received chemotherapy and five who had not.

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Barry goes for his 5th chemo treatment tomorrow. We are anxious to learn results of his CT scans tomorrow since he's been experiencing pain near the cancer area. Am praying for positive results..

Mammogram

Mammogram was perfect! I passed the test. In 6 months I will repeat the process on both breasts, today was just the left one where the most recent surgery was. Yeahh..

Tests for both of us tomorrow

Tomorrow is a day of tests for both Barry and myself. I go in the morning for six months follow-up mammogram. Time to squash the boobs as tight as they can be! Hopefully it will be an uneventful appointment. And Barry goes in the afternoon for a MUGA heart scan. His heart scan is done every other chemo treatment which can show any damage that is being done to the heart as a result of it. His 5th chemoemobization treatment is next Friday Oct. 6th. Normally they are on Tuesdays, but his doctor is unavailable on the 10th so he's having it earlier. Works out better for me since I will only miss one day of work.

Tim plays Varsity

This evening Tim played his first Varsity soccer game after being asked to by his coach. First he played the JV game, followed by the Varsity game. I don't know where kids get their energy. You would never have known he had already played a game. Earlier in the season he had been placed in the Varsity roster, but was eventually taken off of it before the season actually began. Tim never had an attitude about that. He took it with his head held high and in fact I think that made him play even better with the JV team. I wasn't sure how he would do with the new team, or even how much time he would play. He played as if he had been playing with the team, and of course these are all boys that are friends of him anyway. Both teams did lose to this school, but as I've always told Tim: if you have played your best that is what counts.
As I walked away from the school with Tim, the coach commented that "Tim stepped up and it showed in his game tonight." We don't actually know what team he is on, only know that Tim likes to play soccer!
As I drove home from the games (Tim went with the team for Wendy's), I couldn't help but think of Tim. Here's a kid who has both parents dealing with cancer, gets put on and off a Varsity soccer team, doesn't complain but makes the best of the situation or does even better to prove that he can play a good game. I think I can learn something from him. And I must admit I shed a few tears, good tears because I am so proud of him.

On another note, I've just learned tonight that another member of my family has been diagnosed with skin cancer. My brother-in-law Roger. And just last week, my father was also diagnosed with skin cancer. I don't know about you, but I'm damn sick of this disease. A friend of mine was being examined/tested today for a lump in her breast. I can only pray for a positive outcome. Every where you go, another story is told. I have a friend whose sister has just been diagnosed with breast cancer. I feel blessed that my friend asks me for information, how I felt after the surgery and just all the stuff that goes with it. If I can help others, like others helped me, then something good does come from something bad.

Bills vs. Jets.

The Bills did lose 28-20, but you know to us that didn't matter. For us it's all about friendship. We've followed Mel Jr. since he was in College at Maryland. But no one has followed him more than his parents. They go to EVERY game, no matter what part of the country he plays. They have seen every game he has been in, from school days to the NFL. You couldn't ask for a nicer family. We are always treated like family when we go see a game. Truly nice people. A long and enjoyable day. The pictures can only show a small sampling of the good time we had today.

Go Mel Jr. and thanks.

One of the treats with going with the Fowlers is being able to see players after the game. Even the opposing team. Everyone seems to know each other

  

Look closely at this picture. Mel Jr. will always take the time to sign autographs. These people were about the last ones in the lot.

  

We were so pleased to see Mel Jr. once again.

  

We follow the player, Mel Jr. Wherever he may play...

  

#67 is Mel Jr. As you can see, many people had left stadium since they were losing..

  

Glad we had ponchos. Even though it never poured, it was heavy mist and very windy as you can see.

  

Mel is the center for the Bills.

  

Buffalo Bills vs Jets 9-24-06

  

Weekend events

Tomorrow we head to Buffalo to see the Bills vs. Jets game. But as Tim says, we're going to watch Mel Jr. play. He is the center for the Bills and we will be going to see him and his family. Should be a good time. Just hope that the rain stays away. Weather is one thing you can't predict. Will be as prepared as possible.

This evening we went to see Tim play soccer. I like the weekend games as it allows Barry to also see them. Am very proud of Tim this year (as I have been other years). It seems that every year the kids become so much better. He's been getting a good amount of goals, the skill level improves with each game. The rain did hold off for most of the game. Just a few sprinkles, otherwise nice evening for game.

Well, time to get my things together for the big game tomorrow. Been a couple of years since we saw Mel play. Last year he was in Minnesota, too far for us to travel!

Marching band show

This evening I was able to chaperone Tim's band to a local marching band presentation. It consisted of about 7 local bands. The bus left the school at 5:30 p.m. and we got home at about 10:15 p.m. A long but enjoyable evening. I must say, and it's not because I'm biased, that our band was one of the best. The kids practice many hours during the summer with the guidance of their music teacher. And it does show. It was one of the first outings I have chaperoned this year. Afterwards, I helped put away all the band members uniforms and hats. Lots of them!

It's now 11 p.m. and Tim is still on his first subject of homework. Of all nights, he has a lot to do. And now just getting to it. A busy day for him, since he had soccer practice right after school and then off to the band outing.

Geez, another week has ended

It's a Friday night and I'm not at a football game. Barry had to work, and I decided to stay put. Took the time to file away about 3 months of receipts that have been piling up on my stairs. and did some vacuuming/laundry. Tim did go to play in the band.

This has been a very dreary week weatherwise. Lots of misty rain, very little sun.
Have heard perhaps the sun will shine this weekend. Most of the week consisted of Tim having either soccer practices or a game. Very busy.

Today Tim chaperoned a 4th grade class camping trip. He was funny when he told me about the kids. He said that they had lots of energy! Even mentioned that he himself felt old compared to them... Did enjoy himself and having the opportunity to do so.

My new job is getting a little better. Still enjoy not having to hear the phone ring all the time. Am kept busy ALL day, just enough time to go to the bathroom. I do enjoy the job, just need to become more comfortable at it. The department presently consists of a manager, 3 other ladies and myself. Looking to hire another position like mine. There is just one person who has come across negative towards me, but I am hoping this will change. Just has the attitude that I should "speed it up", but I am doing the fastest I can do. Not at the comfort level for speed. I am not quite sure why she has this attitude but I will just continue to do the best I can. Heck, I am a friendly person! God just likes to give me stumbling blocks to overcome.

Did hear from Barry's doctor's office. It looks like he will continue with the 8 week course of chemo. There had been some mention of taking off a couple of weeks. But the way I look at it, keep the chemo going and fight back. As soon as I get definite date of treatment I will make reservation for the Family Home to stay there.

Weekend events

Last night was football and another chance to socialize. The football team won 49-0. When the score is so one sided, it's not that fun to watch. Our team did allow the 2nd and 3rd string of players to play which was good. We do enjoy watching and listening to the band.

And today Tim had his second soccer game. They lost 2-0, the same score as the Varsity team had. Each season you can see such a change in the way the kids play. Tim is much more focused this year, and his speed has picked up. It's fun to watch them play.

As for tomorrow, I think I heard Tim's going to play racquetball again. No shortage of activities here. As for me, lawn duty calls.

New job

Today the manager of my new department met with me, the other new girl and the woman who is teaching us the job. Wanted to know how we stood with the training process. I gave my honest opinion that the process takes a long time and involves many steps just to verify a currency transaction report. Even though I did these CTRs a couple of years ago, the process had changed dramatically by a new software program. And quite honestly, it takes me awhile to do this job. The other new girl (about 1/2 my age) seems to have a better grasp on picking it up. I'm one that learns best my having some kind of procedure to follow, and this job does not have such a luxury. It's hard to explain the process, so I won't even try. Will just say this, you have to research what is on our computer system and match it with the CTR. The problem is finding the information. I wonder if perhaps others are really not verifying the information, and just assuming it is there. Heck, it's only been a couple of weeks. But it seems that the manager is expecting me to learn this quickly. Wants the trainee to be able to go on and do other jobs, but still be able to answer questions. I consider myself a smart person, and am trying not to doubt myself. I've been told in the past that I don't give myself credit, and I'm just going to keep those words in my head. Do what I can, and do a good job. Hopefully the speed will come in due time.

Our first pig roast

Today we went to our first pig roast. It was our friend's 40th birthday party, plus a celebration of her getting a masters degree. There was so much food there. I didn't think I would actually eat the pork but I did, and I enjoyed it. Delicious. They cooked two pics, each weighed about 45 lbs. Considering all the rain we've had recently, it was a nice day. They had postponed it from yesterday due to the bad weather. It was great being with so many friends, everyone seemed to enjoy themselves. Today was just another reason why I love this country. Previously we never had been sociable, but here there is just something special. I can't explain it.

Friends are special...

There is nothing better than friends.

  

Kids enjoying a plastic duck race on the local creek.

  

God's country.

  

Barry and me. What a body!

  

These men were the chefs for the day.

  

I thought this was a good picture. Dog looking at the roasted pigs.

  

My first pig roast!