Another nice day.

Well, it looks like another nice day in Pennsylvania. But looks can be deceiving. Off to work soon. Nothing else to report now, just wanted to show that I'm awake and kickin' in Pa.

It was one of those days from you know what at work today. Definitely not one of the positive energy days that I am in need of for this week. System was down and the day just went down the tubes. Would like to say something positve came out of the hours at work today but I would be lying. And I'm no liar. Hoping tomorrow is better.

One of the best things about this week is that I'm only working 3 days.

Tomorrow is busy day for me. I have a chemo teaching class followed by an echocariogram at the hospital. Apparently the chemo drugs that you are given do a job on your heart. And then after work I am going to look at wigs and hopefully get my hair cut there. Lisa P. is coming with me, and I'm looking forward to it.

Happy Mother's Day!

And Happy Birthday to my sister Eileen.
And it's a gorgeous day in Western Pennsylvania. Sun shining nice and bright. Temps in the 70's.
Made up some hanging bags and baskets of impatients.

Tim took me to Dutch Isle and we shared a banana split. It doesn't take much to please me!

Took a nice 2 hr. nap and then did what Tim has told me to do lately: I rode my scooter around town a bit. And as usual, when other bikers passed me, they gave me the hi wave. See, I'm just like the big guys!

All in all, a good day in the neighborhood. No complaints on my end. Later.

Saturday

Tim had a track and field day today. He was only signed up for one event: triple jump, and therefore was done practically before it began. That was fine with me. I drove him 1/2 way up north to meet the Pearsons so that he can dirt bike at their camp with them. This is his first time going there was quite excited. They already took his bike last evening.

Made an appointment at a beauty salon next Tuesday after work to look at wigs. This beauty salon is affiliated with America Cancer Society's Look Good Feel Better program. They will also show me how to use scarves properly. It's done privately so that is nice. After sweating outside for a few minutes today, I mentioned to Barry that it will be nice not to push away my bangs/hair and just be bald. Summer is the perfect time to shed some hair!

Barry and I also made a WalMart trip. I bought some ginger ale just to have on hand for the days after chemotherapy. I call it an insurance policy. Nothing like going out for something you need when you don't feel good. I already have saltines just in case.

I bought some impatients and potting soil, and may work on my flower bags this weekend. I have six bags to be creative with this year.

Barry's 2nd liver biopsy

Left the house at 6 a.m. and got home from Pittsburgh at 5 p.m. A long day.

The actual ultrasound guided biopsy was only about 15 minutes. Afterwards, Barry had to lie on his side for a few hours. They got 3 tissue samples this time. This procedure was easier for him than the first one. Will have to wait until mid next week for results. The hospital was very easy to find. No problems in getting there.

A long day so short blog for now. Just wanted to tell everyone that we are home safe and sound.

First appt. with oncologist

Today's the day. Heck, had you asked me a couple of months ago about the need to see an oncologist, I would have thought you to be crazy. But, our lives can change in an instant. At times it is best not to know the future.

Am a bit anxious as can be expected. My stomach of course is how I can tell that. I try to be honest in my posting. Spent some time in bathroom last night which is proof in that.

Appt. is at 10:20 a.m. Thanks Meg for your kind words. And everyone else who is watching over me.

Barry went with me to the first appt. Dr. Garrow is so comforting to talk to and to listen to. And that's such a plus. I got a lot of my questions answered.

Here are some things I learned today:

May 10th, I will be having an echocardiogram as a baseline for my heart, along with a chemotherapy teaching session. This is when I will have a tour of the chemo area and be explained specifically what will happen when it starts.

May 12th is my first chemo treatment in the morning. It will be a longer session than the others as they have to insert it in the IV at a slow pace the first time. A normal treatment is about 1 1/2 hrs. I will not be working this day and the next day for sure. The first treatment usually will be guideline for how the other sessions go. I will be having 4 treatments at 3 week intervals. Total is 12 weeks. And then I will have radiation for about 6 weeks.

May 13th I go in for a "booster" shot to up my white cell count a bit. I don't have specific name of drug right now.

Dr. Garrow did confirm that hair loss is a side effect and recommended that it be cut before it comes out from the drug. This will be done. I have information about wig companies that I will be looking into. I think I will do a variety of things: wig, scarves and turban/hats. Variety is the spice of life.

I have stage 2 cancer/nodes negative. Hormone receptor negative. Will probably not need tomoxafin.

All the people I came into contact today at the Cancer Center were so caring. I spoke to the social worker who is my advocate for anything that needs to be done or looked into. She is able to be talked to at any time. Her name is Brenda. She ended the meeting by giving me a hug. Now that's my kind of person.

A lot to remember today, but I think I did a good job. Thank goodness I took notes!

On the road....to healing and recovery.

I'm all set for tomorrow

After what seems like forever is coming tomorrow. I have my first appointment with my oncologist Dr. Garrow. Different emotions in my head but I'm all set. I have a brand new note book to take notes, along with a list of questions that I've printed from a couple of websites. Questions to ask the doctor once diagnosed with cancer. Barry will pick me up at work and we will go together. Am thankful the appointment is in the morning so that I don't have to wait around all day.

I am sure that I will have lots to write in my blog tomorrow. Thanks to everyone for your continued good wishes for both Barry and myself. It's a busy week for us.

Pooped but I'll make it

As I left for work this a.m. I noticed a bunch of turkeys in front yard. That was a nice site.

A tiring day at work (again). I've come home pooped. Between all the phone calls and trying to line up Barry's next biopsy, it's so much to handle. Just mentally exhausted with scheduling everything.

When I pulled into the driveway, I finally heard from Dr.'s office that the appt. has been scheduled for this Friday morning in Pittsburgh. An ultrasound guided liver biopsy. He'll have to be in recovery for 3-4 hrs. So it will be another long day at a hospital for us.

Watched my favorite show of the week, American Idol. Go Bo is all I can say. I really enjoy watching him.

After looking back at today, I have to try not to waste my energy on things that I have no control over. Hard thing to do, but I have to perfect that. As a good friend told me, I have to walk the walk and talk the talk. Good advice, friend.

Back to work

I went back to work today after being gone last week. Actually it wasn't that bad. Probably because the problems I deal with on the phone are nothing compared to what's happening in our lives.
It was disappointing that since last Friday we have not got a doctor's appt. in Pittsburgh scheduled for Barry. I spoke to Dr. Henwood's office and they have not heard from the doctor who they faxed a report to last Friday. This is terrible, creating time out of Barry's job and more aggravation that is not needed right now. I would have thought we would have got faster service. Hopefully something will come tomorrow.

And now for May

This is going to be a busy week for me. I will be seeing Dr. Garrow, my oncologist on Thursday for the first time. The good thing is that I am familiar with him since he's a neighbor of mine. I am anxious to meet with him and expect the appointment to be informative. I have my list of questions ready along with a brand new notebook to keep my notes. This was suggested to me by other cancer survivors. So much is usually discussed that it's hard to remember what is said once you leave the office. It's the not knowing that can make you go crazy.

Barry's biopsy came back inconclusive so he has to meet with an interventional radiologist in Pittsburgh. Our surgeon is scheduling this appointment and will get back to us. Here's a link to explain this specialized field of radiology: http://www.cc.nih.gov/drd/sp/whatis.html
Needless to say, we both have our anxieties to deal with right now.

I return back to work tomorrow. I've been treated by my doctor for anxiety due to my own condition. Am thinking positive that once I know what my treatment plan is that the anxiety will not be as bad. As I've said before, cancer is 24/7 right now in my/our lives. Nothing that I would ever recommend to anyone to go through.

Tim slept over 12 hrs. last night. Does say he's feeling better which is good news. Didn't want to wake a sleeping kid.

My sister Maureen sent this positive quote to me that she heard on TV last night:
"You can't see the future if you are looking through tears!"

End of another week

Took Eileen to airport this a.m. House is going to be so quiet now. Must admit that as I turned away from her I shed some tears, and also in the car. Good tears. Had I not enjoyed her and everyone so much, I wouldn't have shed any. It was so nice having family here, people who have family living close to them take family for granted. I don't for a second.

My house is so nice and clean. These past 2 weeks my floors have been Murphy soaped, curtains have been cleaned, tons of laundry have been washed, and house dusted to the t. Barry said to me :guess it will be another 3 years until it gets cleaned again! Wise guy. Thanks to Mom, Dad, Maureen and Eileen. And of course to my brother in laws for letting my sisters come here in the first place. And better than a clean house is just having the emotional support in difficult times. I am so blessed to have so many friends nearby that will be by my side these upcoming months.

Tim's come down with sore throat and cold today. Went in hot tub to get rid of chills. Bummer being sick. I know he doesn't feel good when he naps during the day like today. By evening, he was seen PoGo'ing, Eileen.

Well, that's it for now. Again, thanks to all.

Without even realizing it, since it's been such an emotional week, I basically have full movement in my right arm. Hard to believe that. And my armpit is almost back to normal feeling. The healing process is working even during these times.

Wgt. today: 137 lbs. Have lost a few pounds in past weeks. That's good news.

Rachel after haircut for "Locks of Love". 

Rachel before haircut 

Look good, feel better

I saw an article in the newspaper over the weekend about the American Cancer Society's Look Good, Feel Better program. It's being held at Sharon Cancer Care where I'll be having treatment. It's a program that helps female cancer patients do hair and makeup while going through chemo and radiation. I took the initiative today and calle American Cancer Society and registered for it. Have heard from someone that it is a great program and they give out lots of good advice and tidbits of information. I'm not into makeup but figure just being involved with others will be a good support system. A time to meet others in the same boat. One more step in the healing process for me.

I've been taking it easy and doing as my doctor recommends. Am finding comfort in listening to CDs that deal with meditation. Learning to be less anxious in what I have no control over.

I got a wonderful email today from our friends in Phoenix who we visited with in February. Their young granddaughter just got her hair cut and donated the hair to "Locks of Love". You have to donate a minimum of 10 inches so she gave up a lot of hair for someone else. They are a non-profit organization that makes hairpieces for financially disadvantaged children suffering from long term medical hairloss . Rachel is 6 1/2 years old and has always wanted to do this out of love. She's my special angel today! Thanks Rachel....

Positive energy only

During these past couple of days, I've been receiving unneccessary negative energy while I'm attempting to heal emotionally and physically for my upcoming treatment. And from the very beginning I was told by a cancer survivor that this is detrimental to the healing process. It is difficult to fight cancer when you are given stress along the way. I am only grateful for the positive energy that will win out in the end.

Please continue to pray for me as the road ahead is unknown and that is the worst thing. I am positive and strong and do know that right now my job is to fight this cancer and to be a true survivor. I am so thankful for all my new and old friends, especially the "Kind" ones!

Barry comes home

Just a quick update for all of our friends and family. Barry is now home and very happy to be here.

Today was a time to rest, not having to go to the hospital. For the first time since surgeries, I was able to nap on my stomach. That was a good treat. Very quiet without the family, but Eileen is still here and is very helpful. Family arrived safely to their homes.

Matt came to visit us and spend the evening. Had been in Cleveland for business and took the time to come over here. That was a big boost for Barry to see his brother during these times.
Family is so important. It was nice hearing the two boys talk. Got Barry to think of something else rather than his health.

For me, I am working to get the right meds to help with my personal anxiety with the upcoming treatment. Cancer is 24/7 on my mind.

A comment by Tammy Messner on MSNBC today:

“Don’t let fear rule your life,” she said. “Live one day at a time, and never be afraid.”

Liver biopsy today

Meg,
Don't know your email address but wanted to tell you that I appreciate anyone reading this blog. It's my form of therapy. I only wish that people who read this blog do post a comment here or there so that I know it's being read. That makes me feel even better.

The liver biopsy was done in afternoon. Results won't be in for few days probably.

A tiring day especially for myself as I am still trying to heal physically and emotionally. I have called my dr. once again to update him on how I am feeling. I am very anxious about my first appt. with dr. next week. Last week I found myself crying in my truck during lunch away from others. Didn't even tell my family, only my dr.

My family leaves in a.m. after an extended visit. Boy, was I blessed to have them during these difficult days. One of my sisters is staying behind to be with me/us as I try to regain my strength for Tim and for Barry's return home. A lifesaver.

Sunday. Our day to rest

Am so glad to have mom join us for church this a.m. She likes to do that when visiting us. She came into my room last night and asked if she could come. Wow, what a treat for me.

I have lots on my mind, but definintely there is a need to pray. Not only for a positive outcome in the biopsy but for what I have already.

This is a clipping in our church bulletin today which really struck my heart:

The words of Jesus in today's gospel, "Don't be troubled." seem impossible. The disciples, Phillip and Thomas, had difficulty understanding this, but Jesus did not back off. He said to them, and says to us today, to "have faith" because anxiety and worry are the enemies of peace.

The whole family visited with Barry today, along with Nick and Rich who work with him. He really enjoyed seeing everyone. Sure does make the time in the hospital go by a little faster. We have no time set yet for the biopsy, only know it's tomorrow. I'll get there by 7 a.m. Tim was invited by Lisa to stay at their house. Am so thankful for all our friends.

In coming home from one of my trips to hospital today, I caught the end of a radio interview with a breast cancer survivor. It was a Christian radio station and she was truly inspiring. I felt a connection with her since when she found out she had cancer, she decided to use that experience to help other women. Since you know the fear you can give support to others. Always look to the future, don't waste the experience you are going through. And let people help you. And after a bad day, just know that good days will soon return.

Believe that Jesus is in charge.

And she ended the program by saying "never give up-trust in Jesus for strength and salvation."

As stated before, I am no holy roller but need to believe and have faith in the big picture. Some things are out of our hands and have to believe there is a reason for everything. Faith: believing in something that you can't touch.

P.S. Donna: thanks for coming back into our lives. It was great talking with you tonight.

Day 2 in hospital

I was at hospital by 7 a.m. in order to see Barry's doctor in his rounds. Nodules in lung are pea size, and the liver has a tennis size ball and small pea sizes. Plan of attack will be a liver biopsy on Monday. So many variables in the equation. As I know from my experience, the worst is not knowing.

This is a difficult time for us. Can only imagine what is going on in Tim's head with all this medical talk. We did go to movies today just to get our minds off of sickness for a couple of hours. And then went to see Barry again.

My family is delaying going home due to bad weather coming and their concern for us in getting through these tough times. Eileen was a workaholic today while I was gone. She not only washed all my living room curtains but also my kitchen valance. I think she did about 100 loads of wash! We also came home to a nice cooked chop suey dinner.

Barry is of course very anxious for the biopsy to be done and for the test results. Am trying to stay positive and focused because that takes less energy.

Barry hospitalized

Yes, Barry was admitted to hospital a little after midnite last night with the following condition:

Atrial Fibrillation: irregular heartbeat.

This is the sequence of events in a brief form.

I checked my email a bit after 10 p.m. and I find an email from him (he had been working) which stated the following: I haven't felt well tonight. Heartbeat feels out of sync, but no pain.
I quickly replied that he should see doctor. His reply was Feel like I'm out of breath but I'm not.
I then told Maureen what he was saying since she is a RN. Her first words were just what he was diagnosed with. I called him at work, said we would go there to check his pulse but he said no. He said he couldn't leave work because he had to get the paper out. Did get mad at him because I thought health was more impt. than printing a newspaper. He said the shift would end soon and he would be home.

He got home by midnite. Maureen checked his pulse and it was irregular. I called Dr. Uberti who was on call and he said take him to ER. Just from walking into house from truck he was out of breath and sweaty.

Yesterday at about 2 p.m. he had a thryoid sono done for upcoming appt. with endocronolgist.
Dr. said could be related. Person doing test did lots of pushing on tyroid. He now remembers feeling not right after eating after this test. But it was at work at about 6:20 p.m. that things became apparently not well. Had walked up just few stairs and was out of breath. Even sitting down didn't help.

Went right to ER, hooked up to monitor and heartbeat quite irregular. Up to 144 at times. On IV to bring it down, but still irregular. Need to convert it, make it regular. Barry's intention had been to go to bed and see dr. in a.m. Had he done that, he would be in serious condition today. Thank goodness I made the call to dr. and took him to ER. He was admitted to hospital and is on different meds to make it regular and to monitor.

Will keep you posted. I didn't get home until 3:30 a.m. Have only slept about 5 hrs. A long day.
They say lemons make lemonade, well I don't want to make or drink any more lemonade!
Please also now pray for Barry and his quick recovery. Could be in hospital a day or so, depends on getting heart beat regular.

And also thank goodness for my family still here.

10 a.m. Have called hospital and Barry. His heart beat has not converted. Has seen his dr. already today. Cardiologist also met with him. May need to be shocked by cardio conversion procedure since not regular. Remaining on blood thinner to prevent stroke. Has already had gall bladder sonogram, a problem that he has been postponing on checking out.

Tim, Maureen and I went to see Barry for a couple of hrs. around lunchtime. Was getting ready abdominal CT scan. While there, Dr. Toth stopped by for exam. He had a scheduled appt. for this coming Tuesday, so therefore will not need to see her then. Says thyroid condition is OK for now, continue same meds and see her in 4 months. No need to biopsy. Tim was happy since he was able to eat cafeteria food. The good news was that while she was examining him, the heartbeat became regular! Just needs to stay that way.

Upon going home, we ate lunch and I immediately went to nap. Mentally exhausted at this point. But am glad his heartbeat became steady. Just called him at about 4 p.m. and it's still steady. He continues to have blood drawn and tests taken. I'll go back this evening to see him.

5:30 p.m. Barry calls to tell me he has bad news. Different tests that were taken show nodules on his lung and liver. I was driven to the hospital immediately by Maureen, along with Tim to see him. Needless to say, this was unsettling news to hear after all I/we've been through.

Nodules or what is seen in tests could be scar tissue/fatty tissue/benign tumor or the last alternative. Earlier in the day I had thought irregular heartbeat was bad, how things can change in a couple of hours.

Not going to write down all details as very personal for Barry. Just please continue to pray for us.

A good news day

Geez, it's 10:15 p.m. and I'm just logging my thoughts. Guess that's a good thing!

After work today, which was the usual, we went out to dinner to Tanner's. That was an event since the waitress, who we thought was new, was actually having some kind of a bad day and was terrible. Normally I would not say anything but she was so bad in serving us I had to mention it to the owner. The owner was walking around asking how everything was and this was our opportunity to speak up. End result of the evening, she got zero tip with the owner agreeing that was an OK thing to do. She also got taken off of waiting on tables. That was our dinner outing.

Tim went to Riverside for an invitational track meet after he was at Youngstown University for an English Festival. He didn't get home until 9:15 p.m. A long day for him. He got his personal best in long jump 13 ft. 11 inches and did great in the 1 mile run. 2 seconds behind Josh H. I believe. Quite proud of him.

Also was reading the local newspaper this evening. Found 3 interesting articles: On the front page was a picture of me and my survivor friends at last Saturday's Relay for Life walk. You can see my legs and hat, and I know it's me! The second article was of our 2 neighbors who made their college honor roll. That was great. The last article showed Honor Society students for our school. And do you know what I read? Tim made HIGH HONORS for his grade! He had not even mentioned that to me. Never knew that they had this in the middle school. Very proud of him.

Well, tomorrow I am taking a vacation day. Wonder why I need one! Perhaps due to such a busy last month. Will be good being able to spend the time with the family. Even Tim is off tomorrow.

Night.

2 down and 2 to go!

I am off this Friday as a vacation day. A much needed vacation day. This way I will have a day to spend with the family. Can't wait. Tim is also off from school.

It was a tiring day at work today. Mostly mentally. My brain got exhausted today with just fixing other people's mistakes. Had been on a good roll until today. But that can be expected and I can't worry about it. Dr. Garrow's office called to tell me that since talking with the dr. that the May 5th appt. is fine, no need for an earlier appt. unless I wanted to see him. I said that was fine.

After work I took Mom to my nail appt. to see Retta. Dad, Tim and Maureen ate at Pizza Joe's. Eileen had stayed home. Now Maureen and Eileen have gone to WalMart for their daily run. I was too pooped to go. I went in hot tub instead.

Not much writing today. Too pooped. Really looking forward to having Friday off. Don't even care if the weather is bad.

Another nice day. What could be better?

This morning I have a recheck appt. with Dr. Henwood, my surgeon. I think he will be pleased with the progress that I have made.

Today is Tim's casual picture day at school. They were told to wear light colored shirts. I have such a wonderful son. Do you know that of all his clothes in his closet he has chosen the Relay for Life t-shirt to wear. I am so proud of him. He's also a true survivor.

I went to see Dr. Henwood and am healing right on schedule. My next appt. is in one month, a couple of weeks after I see oncologist. Compared to last week, feel like a thousand bucks. Sorry, not the usual million bucks. Treated Aleesa and the office to some more candy. Can you believe that she still had twizzlers from a few weeks ago! They don't eat as much candy as I do!

Another day of meeting and talking with people who are rooting for me. My family talked to Diane G. today about my upcoming treatment and another neighbor Terry called me tonight.
I've said it before and I'll say it again, something positive can come from a negative situation.
It's all in God's hands. Now I seem to talk to just about anyone I meet. And why not. Perhaps everyone should do that.

This week I come home from work and find a meal on the table and my house cleaned by my sisters. Geez, I don't think I want them to leave. Never saw my bathroom floors shine so much.
Thanks! to all.

As for American Idol: Go Bo.....

What a difference a week makes.

In comparing today with last week, am so happy to report that I've made such improvement. I can just about raise my right arm straight up over my head. So much better. And just the pain has decreased, thank goodness.
It was another busy Monday at work. Someone called out sick and therefore it was a bit busy. But glad to say that I made it through it.
I came home to a nice home cooked pot roast, potato and carrots. That was a real treat. Can't get that service everywhere.
Dad took Tim for another round of golf at the driving range after dinner. Tim hasn't done that since last year. So he's quite happy about that. Afterwards they went to Dutch Isle for ice cream and saw Marshall. Got some extra in their cone!
Again, thanks to the people who are posting to my blog. I read each and everyone of them, it makes my day.

I'M A SURVIVOR! 

Me, Jody and Joanne S. at the luncheon. Such nice people! 

Sara, her mom, my sister Maureen, Me and Joanne at the end of our survivors walk! 

Me and my son Tim, a best friend to me! 

Sunday. A day of rest.

I've been enjoying the family so much that I find myself not being on the computer to post to my blog. It's so amazing how the people who have entered my life recently stick out in my memory.
I keep thinking this over and over again. These people are true blessings. In looking over pictures I took yesterday, my only regret is that I don't have a close up picture of Sara. The one I am posting it the best I have.

Today we had chicken on the grill (and no, it wasn't burnt!). Mom is doing so great here. She's enjoying the sites and sounds of God's country which include listening to buggies and seeing the horses up the street from house. I am so glad that Dad took a chance in traveling with her to here, as I truly needed the personal hugs of comfort. In the morning we went to Wal Mart for a couple of items. I can't explain how good it is to have my family here.

For the first time in weeks, I took over 2 hrs. of a nap today. I slept so good. Upon going downstairs, I was presented with a couple of presents that Eileen had bought me at the local gift shop. She bought me a beautiful candle with a shade with etched out cross designs on it. Seeing it made me cry. Everyone is so thoughtful and I get teary eye at the drop of a hat. Good tears.

Inspirational People at Relay for Life

This is just a brief posting for the Relay for Life that we attended at Westminster College. Will alter it later when time permits.

This was such a moving experience for me, one that will remain in my heart forever. It's funny to say this, but this illness called cancer is a blessing in disguise from God. Had I not been given this illness, I would never have met such wonderful and inspiring people yesterday and in the past month. Today I was able to spend time with 3 wonderful ladies: Joanne S., Jody K., and Sara who are all breast cancer survivors. As we began the survivors walk, we had to announce our name/type of cancer and how long we had been a survivor. Needless to say, I was the shortest time period of being a survivor. The one that has stuck out in my mind is Sara who is a 20 year old college student at Westminster who is a 3 year survivor of leukemia. She came down with the disease right after her sweet 16th birthday and was undiagnosed for a whole year. Thought it was meningitis. What an inspiring beautiful girl. Actually went to her prom bald with stickers on her head. Such a positive uplifting person. It was on the survivors walk that I came to meet Jody and Sara. After the walk I also was approached by Jody K. (a mother of one of Tim's classmates) as she had heard my name. She had breast cancer 5 years ago and has been through a mastectomy and reconstructive surgery. Not easy stuff but a very strong woman. Joanne S. (another mother of one of Tim's classmates) is also a breast cancer survivor who met and gave me a hug at the end of the walk. She arrived a bit late due to family obligations. She walked with me the last part of the walk. In talking to these women on and off the track, I learned that wearing of wigs is often uncomfortable and most just went bald or wore scarves. I also learned that there is such strength and power in talking to people through these rough times.

It was such a beautiful day for this rally at Westminster College. I was able to get email addresses and names for my new friends and we will be able to keep in touch with each other. As you can see, cancer is not kind to any age but it sure does make you a stronger person.
The darkness of the evening made it possible to view our lumanaria lights with people's names who have had cancer and are alive, and for ones who are no longer alive. I was able to see lights with my name, Sara's name and Linda G's names. What a great site. The evening ended with fireworks at 10 p.m. It was a long day but a very rewarding day. I took so many pictures but will only post a couple on the blog.

What could be better!

Forget about everything that happened at work today and just know this:

my family arrived safe and sound by 4 p.m.!! And as you can see from the posted picture, Barry fed us a huge tray of lasagna. Enough to feed the whole town.

It was so great to actually hug my family in person. You don't know how good it felt. Am so excited to have them with us.

Tim went to soccer birthday party at the Y Zone for Vaughan. Eileen rode on scooter with Barry. And Maureen, Mom and I got to look through all the goodies that Linda G. and Yvonne got from a seminar on cancer, plus tons of information that Linda sent from herself. Am looking forward to listening to the mood music. Thanks!

Well, that's it for today. More to follow tomorrow. Just enjoying the family so not much writing today.

The Knotts Family have arrived! 

They are truly coming!

All the aches and pains I had at work today are in the back of my head right now. I have talked to my parents who are at my sister Maureen's house now. In the morning they will pick up my other sister Eileen for their trip to God's Country. My mother is very upbeat and excited to be coming back to our home. She wasn't told of the trip until just today I believe, as to not confuse her. You don't know how excited I am to have all of them come here. Eileen has never been here and I can't wait to show her this part of the country.

It's going to be a long day at work tomorrow just knowing that they are on their way. They expect to arrive by 4 p.m. Again, I am so EXCITED and can't wait for official hands on HUGS from everyone. This has been a difficult past few weeks but tomorrow is going to be such a good day!

Another sore day

Had hoped today would have been better but not really.

Last night, when I was going to bed at 7:30 p.m. Aunt Esther called me. In tears I had to tell her I was not feeling good and was going to bed. It was a short phone call needless to say. No energy on my part to talk.
I think I fell asleep as soon as I hit the pillow.

When I got to work today, Jennie asked if I was still tired after coming back to work. Broke down. I then decided to ask HR and Michelle if going part time was an option for me. Am thinking I should not be feeling so much pain and being exhausted at the end of the day is not beneficial to healing. With a doctor's note I can go part time. I did speak to the doctor's office and this can be arranged since it sounds like I may be overdoing it. Just reaching for the phone or anything is pulling at my arm since it's my right hand. They told me to take tylenol during the day, and did say hot tub is good therapy. Will speak again tomorrow to doctor to update him on how this is or isn't helping me. Late in day I did start to use hands free head set to eliminate the reaching. Couldn't wait to get home to take percaset and go in hot tub. A very tiring day. I then lied on my bed just to not move my arm at all.

What is strange to me is that I wonder why the pain is under my arm in the flabby area. Expected it to be more under the arm pit where the incision is. Will ask doctor that question tomorrow.

This will probably be last entry for today. Hope to stay up to watch American Idol since I missed it last night.

Tim's been doing raking each night. Yard looking great.

2nd day back to work and pooped

Not much energy to type today. By the time I got home, I couldn't wait to take pain killer. Can't explain the soreness in my right arm. Other than the skin feeling like it's being stretched more than it wants to be. Went into hot tub after having Subway for dinner to relax. The pill does take effect quickly, helps with the pain. Just a tiring and sore day by afternoon. I did take earlier lunch which was good. Worked almost all day at my job trying to perfect an excel document with formulas. Over worked my brain.

At work I got phone call from Sharon Cancer Center. They scheduled me for my first appt. on May 5th. Notice the date 050505. Maybe it will be lucky! Have been talking so much about seeing oncologist but to hear them call and make appt. sort of got to my stomach. But I have to realize that I'm on the road to recovery.

Am heading to bed soon even though it's only 7:30ish. Just very tired. May call dr. in a.m. to see if perhaps I'm overdoing it by being at work. Night.

First day back to work after almost 3 weeks.

Well, I slept very good since I took sleeping pill. Didn't want to chance a restless night.

Am wearing a cream colored pant suit and bright pink shirt, along with 2 pink cancer bracelets that have been given to me by 2 Lindas I know. For good luck. Off to work. Catch you this p.m.
And yes, I'll take it easy and take needed breaks.

And here I am at 8:30ish updating my day. It was a very long day for me. It was great seeing people and getting a hug here and there. Many people had been asking about me since I've been gone. But as they say, some things never change. The girl who has been doing my job since I've been gone was out on a vacation day today. I had hoped for some time to catch up on emails for the past 3 weeks but that wasn't the case. I had to jump right back into the saddle and do my desk job by myself along with answering many phone calls. Not what I needed the first day back. Certainly did keep my mind for the most part off of my problems. Being short staffed and the usual meetings make for many phone calls to be answered. But I helped a lot of people with problems that compared to my own were quite easy. And that was good. I ended up being the last person to leave work today, just needed to tidy up my desk as it was a very busy day.

My right arm especially was very sore by 5 p.m. Just by doing different activities as simple as reaching for a stapler on my desk pulled muscles. But pain can be good. I took a pain killer as soon as I got in the door. And shortly I'll hop into the hot tub to relax even more.

Well, tomorrow is another day. And hopefully will be a better and less tiring day for me. Have to keep my health as #1 concern.

And I forgot to post this: My family is coming this Friday!! With my mother's recent memory problems, they will be coming after all but if need be they will cut the trip short. I was so excited to hear this news. Trailer will be all set for anyone who wants to stay in there. I can't wait to give a real hug to everyone since this has been one heck of a few weeks.

Beginning of another week

Such a beautiful day that I am just posting on my blog. Too nice of a day to be inside.

Tim washed his dirt bike in the morning since it was truly a mess. Leave it to kids to find any mud that's in a field.

He then carpooled with Sean Brown to an afternoon church rally. He enjoyed the concert but unfortunately it was outside, and was not prepared with suntan lotion! So, he got a bit burned. Last thing I took from him before going to it was hit hat. So he thought of that hat the whole time. If only.... The heat outside was about only thing he didn't like of the day. He told me that the woman sang Awesome God which is a favorite of mine. Wish I could have been there.

While he was gone I napped for a couple of hours. It is a day of rest you know. I head back to work tomorrow after being gone for about 3 weeks. Expecting to be tired by the end of the day. Should do me good to get other things on my mind. But hopefully not too many other people's problems. Honestly don't think I can take much of people complaining of computers being slow and printers jamming. Time will tell. Have been told that the best medicine in treatment of cancer is being with positive people and positive environment. And working a Help Line consists of complaints and people needing help. Right now in my life I'm the one that needs help.

Saturday in the Park

Tim and Barry got me up early this a.m. Barry is helping his boss move today, and Tim had an 8 a.m. soccer referee class at Marti Park. Getting up early on a Saturday is not my cup of tea. And talking of cup of tea, I did watch a bit of Prince Charles and Camilla's wedding this a.m. Unfortunately, I didn't get a personal invitation to attend.

Tim has just called from the Park to tell me that he is going to referee a game this morning. So, I'm on my way to give him his whistle/stop watch and to observe, Later on he's going to do more raking in flower beds and front yard. It's just another one of those great warm spring days. I saw another soccer mom I know at the game and she didn't know of my cancer. And since it's on my mind 24/7 I told her. And you guessed, I shed some tears and she did too. But you know, that's OK to do.

It was about 11:30 a.m. when the soccer game ended. Tim and I then went to buy winning lottery tickets! for tonight's game, lunch at KFC (haven't been there since moving to Pa.), and then to Walmart for soccer socks. Just a couple errands but it does get me tired.

We got home and I was able to supervise the raking. Actually, he was into it today. Did a lot, but lots more to do. In time it will get done. As he was raking I got to thinking of what day it was. It's April 9th and one month ago on March 9th, I had my first surgery. Hard to believe what I've gone through in one month. Incredible. I go back to work Monday and hope that this will get my mind off of my health maybe for a second or two. Not sure how I'll do, but definitely take each day as it comes.

All my bandaid strips have come off of my incision area on my breast as of today. Healing up quite well. I still have all the strips under my armpit from the last surgery. Still am unable to sleep on my stomach due to the right arm, but hopefully it won't be much longer. I just love my stomach to sleep on. Getting tired of just laying on back and a bit on on left side.

Tim went dirt biking with his 2 friends after Barry came home. Left at about 5 p.m. Afterwards they were going to roast some marshmallows outside. While he was gone, Barry washed our bikes. I drove the mower and did the lawn for first time this year. Yard looking better than it did a couple of days ago.

Thanks for the motivation, Mom! 

A gorgeous day

And therefore I have not been on the computer. Barry and I went out to lunch and for a nice drive. Just a gorgeous day. Temp is about 70 degrees. Normally I would be out raking but not these days. That's now going to be Tim's job.

Well, Tim came home from school and spent some time on computer. Eventually he went outside to rake up the leaves. Shortly afterward he came inside and said that he was done. Asked to go for his bike ride, I said yes. But when I went outside to look at what he had done,
I actually saw what he had NOT done. Good help is hard to find.

So when he came home from his ride, I showed him where all the leaves were and he just laughed. Got the rake out again and this time I supervised him. He needed a foreman to watch over him. End result, an excellent job. He thanked me for "motivating" him.

An exciting day-I get to take a SHOWER

Before going to bed, I took a peek at the place where the tubing went in. And it was basically sealed up, so this morning I can finally have the pleasure of a SHOWER. Am so excited and looking forward to washing my own hair. Life's little treats!

Slept so well last night that I was able to dream. A bit stiff when I would wake up at the incision places, but otherwise I'm doing great.

I got up to see Tim off to school this a.m. He has his first away Track meet today. Scattered showers are expected during the day, and I hope they avoid the time that he is at his meet.
Going back to bed shortly for a little siesta nap.

Got to take a nice long shower! Geez, what a treat. First time since last Wednesday's lymph node surgery. Mmmm. Later tonight I'm going into the hottub.

While Tim was at his track meet, I went to WalMart and picked up couple pairs of pants and another shirt.
And yes, t-shirts for Barry. Tim only did the high jump today, no running since his leg was hurting him. Got hurt during his practice this week.

Usually I get emails telling me that I have new comments. But today for some reason, 2 comments were posted that I didn't know about. Just happened to look up the blog myself. And then I went back through the blog further, and see that a comment on April 3rd posted by anonymous has been removed by Blog Administrator. Wonder what that comment was all about. Perhaps something juicy that they didn't want me to read. (PS. Just came to me that it was a testing post that I did just to see how easy it was to post a comment.)

I also want to thank the individuals that have sent in money for the Relay for Life/American Cancer Society walk that Tim and I are walking next Saturday. That is deeply personally appreciated from the bottom of my heart, along with the many cards/emails/prayers that have been sent my way.

All in all, a good day in the neighborhood. P.S. Hottub sure did feel good after a long time away from it.

Getting stronger each day

Since the purpose of my blog is to put my innermost thoughts down in a journal for therapy, I will proceed to do so.

I had been anxiously awaiting my parents and sisters arrival next week, only to find out yesterday that this may not happen. It appears that he has been advised by some that having my mother travel such a distance and to a new area would get her more disoriented. She's just getting into a routine by going to a Senior Citizens Center for couple of days a week. They seem to feel that breaking up this new routine would be hard for her to get back into once she returns to the Cape. I am quite upset that it seems that she won't be coming next week. I am in no health to go there myself, even though I have actually checked out planes/trains/and automobiles today in order for me to go there. I guess I am just being selfish but I truly feel/felt that I need to see my mother especially. So as it stands now, I am not sure who will be coming to see me. But being upset at this stage in my life is not a good thing to be. Whoever does come will be a true blessing for me.

I went to Sears today and bought couple pairs of shorts and bright tops. I picked Tim up early from school for a dentist appt. The dentist was able to bond his tooth that he chipped at Saturday's soccer game. So that was good. I also went to the bank to give them my return to work note. Everyone was so pleased to see me.

Tim did some yard work after we got home. That's usually my job but am unable to do it right now. He enjoys being outside so that is good. And with temps in the 70s you can't complain.

Today was first day that I didn't nap so am a bit pooped by now. Hopefully I'll sleep good tonight. Last night I slept for over 7 hrs.! and woke up on my side where I had stitches-hugging the pillow. Was comfortable until I had to move and boy did that hurt. But everyday is another day.

A good day: The drain is out!

Barry and I got to Dr. Henwood's office at 9 a.m. Barry stayed in waiting room. He was a chicken today! Dr. Henwood was able to "pull" the drain out in one tug. It helped that I was laying down on the table. When he pulled it out, I asked "is it out?" since I didn't know whether I had to feel that pain once more! Very thankful it was only once. I have to see him on a follow-up visit in 2 weeks. He gave me a return to work note for Monday, April 11th. He said to give it a try. Again he told me that 6 nodes were removed and that there was no cancer on them. Dr. Henwood told me that shortly I would be moving on to Dr. Garrow the oncologist once healed from the surgeries.

I called a couple of people at the bank to tell them that I was coming back. Michelle wasn't in so I left message with Renee. And of course, I had to call my family. Both Barry and I eventually took naps.

Today's such a gorgeous day. Temps in 70s. Just cooked some marinated kabobs on grill, without even having to uncover snow from the cover.

For the first time since all my surgeries and being at home, I met Tim out on Mom's favorite rock when he came from school today. All the other days I've been in bed. I think I shocked him.
We then went to get my nails done, first time in over a month. Retta also washed my hair, now that felt like a million dollars. The simplest things in life are often the best things in life.

Had read today and just saw him on the end of his broadcast, that Peter Jennings from ABC news was just diagnosed with lung cancer and will be starting treatment. It's so sad to know that every day there is another life effected by this disease. I was never a smoker and got cancer. So, please for me if you do smoke please reconsider a "lifestyle" change and stop. If not for me, for yourself. It's just not worth it.

"We are survivors the moment we are diagnosed with cancer.": Cancer Institute/per Peter Jennings commentary.

Almost had drain taken out

Today has been one of those down kind of a days. Haven't had one of those days in awhile. I'll try to summarize it just so down the road I can look back and say "geez, I made it.!"

Dr. Henwood's office called me back in the morning. I had asked that Dr. Henwood remove the drain since it's not draining much and due to it being so uncomfortable. Since Dr. Henwood was in surgery today, I was told that his nurse Lorrie would be able to do it for me. She said to stop by at 1:30 p.m.

I woke up with a headache so I rested on couch until about noon. Then Barry suggested that we go get something to eat before the doctor's appt. so we went to Suburban. We then went to the doctor's office to see Lorrie. I brought along some twizzlers for the office.

Lorrie attempted to remove the drain, but it wouldn't budge out of the whole. It was so painful. Words can not tell you how bad that felt. What she said was usually an easy thing to do, proved otherwise. It appeared that something was stuck, making it impossible for her to pull it out of the sutured area. She called him at the hospital to tell him. He told her that she could attempt it again, otherwise he would do it in the a.m. She came back and once again tried. She could see that both she and I were uncomfortable in pursuing this anymore. The pain just wouldn't go away. It was a constant pain, like a nerve being touched or blood pressure being taken and not letting go.

And unfortunately, I had not taken any pain killer before going, and they had none in the office. It was a very long ride home. I immediately took a pill and went to bed. Shortly after laying down, my brother Doug called to check up on me. Needless to say, I was in bad shape and wasn't able to talk to him. I must have layed there for over 2 hrs. without moving just to attempt to meditate the pain to go away. I hesitated in taking a second pill since one usually does the trick. I did speak to the Dr.'s office and he called me back at about 5 p.m. He did say that a second pill would be OK, if anything it may cause nausea or make me feel dopier. My sister Maureen also had called me during this painful time. I wasn't able to talk to her that much either. My neighbor Janet called me too. She invited me to go for a walk with her. Had I not been so down and out, I would have taken her up on her generous offer. Next time...

Did forget to tell you something. I found out that the dr. removed 6 lymph nodes and the pathology report showed NO CANCER in them! That's good news.

By about 5:30 p.m. I felt like the medicine had finally kicked in. I was a bit more comfortable.
I called my sister back so that she could relay the news to my family. Maureen said that she took it upon herself to email my friends about me having a bad day. That was so nice of her to do. Thanks to all who sent me their positive energy. Today it was needed quite a lot.

So, hoping for a better day tomorrow. I did hear from Linda E. at my job today. She said that having her drain removed was also a painful experience for her also. At least it's not just me.

Sunday, A day of rest

I could see the snow accumulating during the night, on my many trips to the bathroom. So I was not surprised to see the 4-5 inches of snow in the morning. It was definitely a winter wonderland kind of morning. And quite windy. Temps stayed in 30's most of the day.

When my arm extends to my side, it is quite sore and uncomfortable. But I've been given a couple of helpful hints from Linda G. 1) ban the bra 2) wear shirts inside out to eliminate the seam. I had already done the first item yesterday, just so that the drainage would drain straight down. Per Eileen's suggestion, I have it attached to a piece of yarn. And since I know it's uncomfortable, I am avoiding have my arm hang down my side.

I also came to the conclusion that yesterday could have been a bad day since I had decided to stop pain killer. Bad choice since I'm still in pain. What a stupid thing to do. Today, I am taking tylenol during the day and back to the good stuff in evening. I've been up for a few hours, heated up the ribs that Barry got at Sam's Club yesterday for lunch and about to hit my favorite bed shortly. Tim's helped me change bedding on couple of beds today, also. And not even complaining in doing so.

Took a nice nap for about an hour. Picture this: I'm laying in bed on my back, with knees propped up on top of pillow, head propped up on 2nd pillow and my right arm on it's own pillow. And as I lay like this, I thought to myself: Wow. Nothing is hurting at this moment! Truly happened to me today and it was a good feeling.

As Tim and I ate easy-mac and taquitos, I looked out the back door and finally, after a very long time without seeing any, I saw 4 DEER making their way through the woods. I told Tim that my day was complete! And of course, I immediately had to call my parents. Another positive thing to look back at. P.S. I have to thank Tim because it was his idea to open the blinds as we ate dinner..

A long day

Day is about done, and I'm just posting for the day. Barry and Tim went to Sam's Club and out to lunch while I stayed home today. I could not have done all that. For the most of the day, I stayed in bed as that is where I was the most comfortable. I did leave a message for Dr. Henwood to call me Monday a.m. I really want him to take the drain out right away. Under my arm area is uncomfortable, especially when my arm is down to my side. The underarm rests directly on the drain tubing and is sore. And when I lie down, I am able to prop the arm up right beside me with little discomfort. So basically today was a very long day for me.

Went to Tim's last indoor soccer game tonight. They tied. Bad part was that Tim got his front bottom tooth chipped by being elbowed by someone. Looks like I'll be making a trip to dentist with him to get that fixed. Just what I need.

Not writing much today, just that kind of a day. I've even attempted to place a towel under my arm pit area to cushion my arm. Going to take a bath and probably hit the bed soon.

Tomorrow's another day. Right now 32 and snow/rain coming down. Wondering where the spring went. Oh yes, we lose an hour of much needed sleep tonight.

Ahh. April is here.

I stayed up until Barry got home last night for him to drain my j-drain. There is not much liquid draining. Then I took a sleeping pill. Only got up once to take a pain killer pill. They work like clockwork, run out in 4 hrs. I didn't get up for Tim this a.m., but Barry did. I called Dr. Henwood's office at 9 a.m. and was told to keep the drain in for the weekend. He asked that I call the numbers in on Monday and that the drain will probably come out on Tuesday. Had really hoped that it would be taken out today but..

Lisa Pearson arrived with crock pot meal in the morning for dinner tonight. Now we can smell it cooking all day. Such a nice smell. She also brought me some tulips.

I then went back to bed and got up at about noon. Sure did feel good to sleep. Only way I can sleep is on my back with my right arm propped up next to me on pillow at same level as my chest. Otherwise, the arm is very uncomfortable. I continue to exercise my right arm during the day, but not to raise it above my head. Just do 90 degree angles per Dr. Henwood.

Barry treated me to Rachel's for lunch. It's my first time out since the surgery. Went out actually in what has become the top part of my pj's, Barry's old work shirt. But at least I tucked it inside my pants to look dressed up! Just going out for that short while felt good but time to get back into bed. A bit tired just by doing that.

Dinner was delicious. You know it's good when meat just falls apart. Nice and tender, and as Tim said nice and spicy. Tim went with Pearsons to see school play and then Ben is coming here to sleepover. When kids are this age, they are definitely no problem to have in the house. He could have slept over their house, but we thought here would be better just to have him home.
I took mini nap while he was at play.

This week's news consisted of the following deaths: Terri Schiavo, Frank Purdue, Johnnie Cochran. And Pope John Paul's health was failing all day from the Vatican. An 84 year old strong willed man. What a life.

Wow. Finally March is over!

Hard to remember all that happened this month. There were many good events and some new learning experiences for us. Barry, Tim and I were able to celebrate my 49th birthday in Phoenix/Flagstaff, Arizona along with our 25th wedding anniversary. It was so nice being able to see that part of God's country and to visit the St. Laurents and the Fowlers. And who wouldn't love being able to see the Grand Canyon. Pictures don't show the magnitude of the Grand Canyon. It is truly breathtaking. We were so fortunate to be able to go to Arizona and we know we will have to return for Part 2 since there is so much more to see.

And this month gave me the opportunity to come into contact with so many new friends and even old relatives. It's so great having such a support group when you are going through bad times. Support surely is needed at times like these. Thanks to all for just a smile, a hug or a prayer.

And then to come back to what would be a total of 3 surgeries after being diagnosed with metaplastic carcinoma/breast cancer. It definitely wasn't something that I had on my calendar to do this month! But that's in the past, and I'm looking to the future now. I've been diagnosed, did some necessary prep work and will eventually start the treatment once my body heals. Then my new doctor friend will be George Garrow/oncologist at Sharon Cancer Care unit. He's also a good neighbor of ours.

I wasn't able to sleep at all last night even with medication. But that's OK. I did nap this morning. I've been told there will be more nights like that one, adrenalin kicks in and there's so much on your mind.

A beautiful warm day with temps in 70s. Even have windows open to air out the house. Can see tulips popping through the ground, along with rhubarb. Lisa Pearson called to see how I was doing. She is going to bring over a crock pot dinner tomorrow. What a treat!

And Barry's been so good to me. Somewhere in the small print of the marriage agreement, it says in sickness and in health. And he's helping me with the sickness part now like a real pro. Helps me with my drain. Not much liquid so hope to have it removed quickly. Will be calling the doctor tomorrow per his instructions.

All in all a good day! Axillary lymph nodes removed

This is an email I got from my sister today:

"Your journal was MISSED today but u were MISSED more. no email buddy today for me. i work thurs and friday.can call me at work." adios moe

I know that my family especially sat by their phones today for the news that Barry would be spreading. And also all my friends, both old and new. And to fellow survivors that have come into my life recently.

I wasn't going to post today but Barry just asked if I had, and so here it goes from what I remember:

Barry and I got to Edgewood Hospital at 11 a.m. and were greeted so kindly as in the past. I'm an old timer now, 3 surgeries in 1 month. No wonder I'm whipped, but I am able to tell you about it. I was told by one of the anesthetists Steve that Chris, my favorite anesthetist was working with another patient. But he had left instructions with his co-worker that if I would like him to do me (what an offer) that they could switch places and he would come to my side. I assured Steve that it was nothing against him, but I might "have to walk" if Chris were not there! He totally was OK with Chris being assigned to me and was going to tell Chris.

One of the nurses went to put my IV in the same area that was used previously but... she had some difficulty and that became an OUCH. I could feel the sweat on my forehead as I pushed my bangs up to top of head. Am very thankful that Steve jumped in to help her out. Putting IV's in is a very hard and touchy thing to do. No one's fault, just happens sometimes. A nurse by the name of Nancy walked by and saw me in distress and said to me -"It looks like you need to be distracted." and started to do a funny dance. She then came to me and placed her nice cold hands on my cheeks and then on the back of my neck. That felt like a million dollars. From my first meeting her, she had told me that her hands were always cold. And boy, they were a gift from God today. She reminds me for some reason of my mother-in-law Kathy.

Chris stopped by with nice smile on his face. Sure does have a nice bedside manner. Before I knew it, Chris had the vials of good meds in his hand and quickly in the IV. Didn't even see him do it, but after a second I looked at him and asked if he had injected the sedation. He surely had and boy was it fast acting. That was the end of pre-op and the beginning of surgery.

Surgery lasted approximately 1 hr. and 20 minutes according to Barry. I spoke briefly to Dr. Henwood in recovery, and he assured me that I could stay in a hospital room for couple of hours if need be to get up to speed to go home. I had a more difficult time coming out of anesthesia today. It could have been due to longer surgery than the others. I was also told by Barry that I had some kind of heater blowing under my sheets to keep me warm as I had been shivering. That felt good. I did have it shut off eventually. After coming to, unlike the other 2 surgeries, my breast didn't hurt. Now isn't that a miracle. Perhaps this is due to the fact that my underarm area was involved this time!

I decided to stay for some time in a hospital room and had dinner there. Got to the room at about 3 p.m., went to bathroom (muchly needed) and got myself back into bed. The nurse showed Barry how to drain the J-drain, which was done a couple of times while I was there. The staff in the in patient area were also very nice and comforting to me. There was a new nurse there Jeannie who was there for her 2nd day on the job. I told her that I've been to the hospital more days than she has!

I rested until dinner (not sleeping, but just being able to think positive thoughts/thanking God for such wonderful care today) which was chicken francaise, asparagus and new potatoes. The IV was eventually disconnected and I was able to leave the hospital after dinner.

As soon as I got home, I called to speak with Tim at Ben's house. He was very happy that I was home. Wanted to make sure that he could still sleep at Ben's house!

And since so many people are cheering me on, I felt the need to send an email to all just to say briefly that I was home. Thanks so much for your continued prayers and positive energy. I'm nice and comfy now in one of Barry's old work shirts, with my J drain tucked in my bra.

And as they say in Mexico, Dad: Adios for the day.

Results are in!

I slept good last night. When I woke up, I did such a good stretch from head to toe. Can't remember when I last did that. Just layed there and stretched.

Went to see Dr. Henwood at 9 a.m. and he confirmed that the biopsy showed clear margin! The result that I've been praying for. The past two or so weeks have been so hectic on my brain, everything I think is geared toward one subject. But I know I'm heading in the right direction.
The next step, as Dr. Garrow (oncologist) had previously mentioned to me, will be removal of lymph nodes under my arm: (axillary lymph node dissection, in which the surgeon removes a number of lymph nodes from under the arm and has them examined by a pathologist for cancer cells.) And to stay on track, I am having this 3rd sugery this month done tomorrow at about noon. This will involve placing a drain/port in me, and having it drain for about 3-5 days. He said that I may have to stay overnight at hospital, that will depend on how I make out in recovery. So, I am prepared for that. Have made arrangements for Tim to stay overnight at Ben's house just in case.

After the appt., I made calls to family to once again tell them the updated news. I stopped in at the Bank to say hi to the department, Chrys, Leya and Linda. Gave and received lots of hugs/positive energy.

Tim wanted to go to volleyball game tonight at school. Lisa was kind to take him there along with Ben. When I got on the phone with her, I broke down. This is been such a stressful couple of weeks, non stop motion. I am positive but my new friend Linda has assured me that it's OK to cry. It's something that I deserve to do. I told Lisa that I just needed to sleep for awhile and she was so kind to me.

After a one hr. restful nap, Tim went to the game for couple of hours. I went to Wal Mart as I wanted to pick up some candy for the staff at Edgewood Hospital tomorrow. They have been so kind and caring this month to me.

I am so pleased that everyone is enjoying my blog. It is good therapy to be able to write things down. One year from now I will look back at this time and say "WOW, I made it."

The Waiting Game

Last night I did take a sleeping pill after midnight as I was unable to fall asleep. And it worked so well that I was able to dream. Got out of bed at about 10:45 a.m. Since my dr.'s appt. is tomorrow at 9 a.m., I won't take one tonight. Don't want to oversleep.

The doctor had said he would have the biopsy results today or tomorrow, so today is an anxious day for me. Stomach is a bit upset today in anticipation. Phone rang a while ago, but it was just a solicitor. I wonder if the doctor will just wait until he sees me tomorrow rather than call me today.

4:30 p.m. I had to call the doctor's office. Couldn't wait any longer. Have spent some time in bathroom today. I held the angel that Linda gave me as I dialed the #. Aleesa said the report for the biopsy was in and that it was NEGATIVE for cancer cells. Wanted her to say the exact words clear margin but she wouldn't. Just said it was a good report. The doctor was not in office. She said he will go over everything in morning with me. After hanging up the phone, I sat for awhile looking out the front window and eventually tears poured down my face. I can't even describe what I'm going through. Who would have thought that words such as mastectomy and cancer and chemo would be part of my daily conversation. But after seeing a 17 year old on Dr. Phil's show last week as a breast cancer survivor (mastectomy), I am truly blessed.

Have called family about this good news but will hold off on telling others until I hear it tomorrow from Dr. Henwood. It's just my personal decision.

Tim sound asleep on his bed at 5ish. I had told him the good results earlier. It must be exhausting to a kid to have to go through this also. Thank God he's strong.

Happy Easter to All

I went to bed last night at about 11:30 p.m. Looked at the clock later on and saw that it was 12:10 a.m. Yeah, Easter Sunday. Barry and Tim were watching cartoons, so I immediately went in and said Happy Easter. Where's the goodies? I quickly got Tim's Easter basket and filled it with the candies I had bought during the week at the drugstore. Heck, it was just one of those weeks that I spent some time at a drugstore! Barry had also picked some candy up for Tim when he filled my prescription after the surgery.

I didn't even have a piece of Tim's candy. Or a drink of soda, can you believe that. I could hear Barry going downstairs and then returning. He opened up the door and gave me a box of Daffin's chocolates. I was so surprised, couldn't figure out when he had the time to buy me those candies. Geez, chocolates/dinner and roses in such a short period of time. One can say that I am truly blessed! I opened up the box and had one chocolate.

Would love to say that I slept peacefully last night but I was up almost every hour. I remember looking at the clock at 3 a.m. and hearing Barry snore so gently. I was thinking to myself that being in such a sound sleep must feel so wonderful. If only that was I. I got up to go to the bathroom a couple of times, and never even opened up a bottle of soda. I think I had my new Blog on my mind. I had spent almost 3 hours last night creating my new online journal, and that was a lot of soul searching in doing so. But well worth it.

The alarm went off at 7 a.m. and we got dressed for Easter mass. All in our nice Sunday clothes.
And compared to last week's mass, I didn't even shed tears today. I truly do feel good about things. Shedding tears can be such a tiring thing to do, and I can't handle such wasteless energy.
Don't think I don't shed any tears, because tears also cleanse the soul.

By the way, today I have blossoms on both my Christmas cactus and of course my Easter lilly.
Another good day.

We're having spiral ham for lunch. Not sure with what else. But that is not important. Being with family is.

Lunch went very well, Eileen! Cooked ham a little extra for "good" luck. Had green beans and instant mashed potato. Been about 1 week since I had a previous home cooked meal.

Took a mini nap and snoozed for about 45 minutes. Sure do miss my old 2 hr. naps. But they will return some day. As I rested, Tim took his new spike track shoes to college track to test them out. He said that you have to get used to them, so going to track to practice was beneficial.

For dinner, made up some potato and ham soup. Just a dry mix kind of soup.

Just FYI (since I have to be honest), I was able to do a "movement" today. Yeah.

Took a nice shower this evening, and even cleaned the tub walls while in there.

All in all, a good day.

By best friend, Tim. It truly is a Grand Canyon! 

Grand Canyon Feb. 2005 

On the way to healing

I woke up at 8:30 a.m. and immediately took a shower after taking bandage off. The incision is bigger than the first one. Can see the swollen area. During the shower, I was getting sick kind of feeling. Couldn't wait to dry my hair. Did feel good to shower, but bed would feel even better.

I got right back into bed after saying hi to Barry and the boys. I did offer to cook breakfast for them, but am thankful that Barry said no thanks.

For the first time in a long time, I dreamed after going back to bed. I dreamed that there were deer in my back yard. I told Tim out in the hot tub and they must have heard me. The deer scurried away. Boy, did it feel good to dream. For once, I felt that I was actually able to sleep.

I got up at about 11 a.m. Tim and Josh had rode their bikes downtown. Josh got picked up. I continued to be dopey feeling, and I don't like that feeling. Got myself dressed and filled the deer feeder with some food. Haven't seen the deer lately, but the food does disappear. I just love my deer.

Tim had 2 soccer games today. 1 p.m. and 4 p.m. I was in no way to go to both. Barry took him to the first game. I went to bed (again) and took the phone off the hook. Lately I do that just to not to have it ring. When they came home, Tim told me that he scored from defense. Something that he has always wanted to do. Barry then went to store for some groceries for Easter.

Barry came back from store with a lovely bouquet of ROSES. Something that is not done everyday, believe me. Must love me a bit. Not sure what is going on in his head, he's a male and doesn't talk much about it. It's a lot of go through, for all family members. Tim has been extra caring today, I notice a little more touching on his part towards me. An extra hug of comfort from him. He's a true blessing.

We all went to the 4 pm. game. Unfortunately they lost, but Tim played as good as he could play. After the game, we went to Tanner's. These past 2 weeks I have not cooked much of anything. But tomorrow is Easter and we will have spiraled ham. At Tanner's I had chicken francaise which I've dreamed about all day.

A complication of the meds/or side effects is constipation. I'm one who can go at times for a week, and right now I feel that lots has gone in to my tummy and little has come out. Have to be honest in posting, so that's honesty. Have been told by Barry to drink lots of water, and nurse Maureen said to buy some senacoc. Not sure of spelling. Will do that tomorrow after church.

By the time evening has come, I feel almost myself. No more dope effect. Will try to only take tylenol for now.

It was during conversation at dinner that I asked Barry of doing a journal online. It was both Tim and Barry that suggested a blog. An online journal that has become very popular. This will be my way of communicating with all my friends and family along this journey.

Please post any positive comments as you read of my recovery. I am not sure what is in the future, but I know that God only gives what you can take. And I do believe, that in each and every day you must find something good to look at. To keep tucked in the memory. Today, it was being with Barry and Tim and knowing that next month my family will be here to visit with me. Mom doesn't think she can travel, but I'm sure that in time she will come back to God's country once again.

On my way

Have been thinking of ways to communicate to all my family and friends, on how I am feeling and how I am doing through this new journey that has presented itself to me. To me, I think it will be beneficial to keep track of these feelings in a journal of some kind. And was with Barry and Tim's help that they came up with the idea of a "blog", a new word that became part of the encylclopedia recently. Basically it means an electronic journal.

I am going to back-pedal a month or so to show how I ended up at the spot where I now am.

I do hope and expect to hear positive energy from all who read my thoughts. I must say that all your prayers are felt deep inside my heart during these difficult times. I only know that I am going to be a better person as a result of this experience.

Recovery continues

Today I am feeling so dopey/drugged. Don't understand how and why druggies do drugs. I think I pushed myself too much yesterday. I had major surgery. Just feel like I'm in la la land most of the day. Will only take pain killer in the evening before I go to bed. Not a good feeling to have.

Attempt to nap during the day. Tim is off of school today. Had hoped to go to Olive Garden for shrimp scampi, but that never happens. Just not up to par.

I call work and speak to Carrie and Jenn. Just want them to know I am OK.

For dinner I heated up some frozen clam strips. Ended up throwing them away. Couldn't even taste anything like a clam. Barry had Stouffers macaroni and cheese.

Tim had Josh Hoppe sleep over. Didn't even know he was here. Just played video and pc games. I went to bed by 10 p.m. I could hear them brush their teeth at midnight. Right on schedule.

Continue to get up many times in the evening to pee, uncomfortable sleeping.

Day after lumpectomy

Tim and I got hair cuts today. Tim got one since it was so long, and I got one as a special treat.
I am unable to wash it, so I thought it would be treat to have it done by Retta at the beauty parlor. They were totally booked, but I told the receptionist to tell Retta that I had called for appt. Within a few minutes, she called and I was able to get it cut in the afternoon. Wow, did that feel good. She and I discussed wigs. If I'm going to lose my hair, I want a perfect wig for the hairstyle that I am never able to get on my own hair. Wigs are covered by insurance. I have learned the term is cranial prosthesis. I've read that many people do cut their hair right before chemo due to the fact that chemo can make you lose hair in clumps. Barry said he wants long haired wig. Don't think that will happen! A nice strawberry colored bob wig will do just fine.

I also got Tim some track shoes since track starts next week. Tim and I ate out together and took our sundaes to go.

All in all, a good day. Time to spend with family is so important. I continue to get such nice emails from family and friends. I certainly do feel the power of prayer.

Lumpectomy

Barry and I got to the hospital for 7 a.m. Hopefully Tim will get up and out of bed on time for bus. I have the faith he will. I kissed him good bye at 6:15 a.m.

The nurses and dr. greeted us once again. Familiar faces seem so good. And my buddy Chris was there. I told him that Barry said I would do anything to see him again. His remark was that he would have someone else medicate me, since Barry was bigger than him. Just a cool guy.
And you can see through his surgical cap that they wear, he is balding on top but who cares..

I was second in line for surgery with Dr. Henwood. I didn't get started until about 7:45 a.m. from what I remember. This time I was brought into operating room and moved to the other table. Chris told me to think of something nice to dream of, I told him it would be a cruise.
He mentioned that he had never been on one before. That was the last thing I remember before waking up in recovery.

I think it was about 10:10 a.m. when I was coming to. I didn't feel as dizzy this time in coming out of the anesthesia for some reason. But I did feel more sore this time. Dr. Henwood stopped by, I asked him about recovery and he said to stay out of work for a week. He had taken a larger area out this time, a larger incision. Barry was eventually brought in to sit with me. I had my glass of apple juice.

Not sure of the time, but I was given directions again for the care and treatment of the incision and was let go. Barry ran in to D'Onofrios for some good hot soup. It was such a long ride home this time from hospital. I was sore and in need of going to the bathroom. Couldn't wait to run into the bathroom, or should I say quickly walk into the bathroom.

Barry went to drugstore to fill prescription for painkiller. I called family and work to quickly tell them that I was home. It was now about noon. After he returned, I took one pill and got into my jammies. Boy, do I love my jammies and my bed. They are such good friends.

Wasn't able to sleep much due to the soreness and location of the incision. More sore than 2 weeks ago. But that's due to it not having been healed and bigger area.

Dr. Henwood said results of biopsy will be next Monday/Tuesday. My next follow up appt. is 9 a.m. on 3/29/05.

Flowers from Amy Perell, FNB Branch manager are delivered to me.

6 p.m. Marian LeJeune and Becky Hoppe stop by with gifts. Visit for about 1/2 hr.

Barry delivers Combine Bros. to Tim and me. Mmm. What a treat.

Nights continue to be sleepless. Sleeping pill helps for a few hrs.

Test results are in/Food party at work

At about noon, I got the test results of the CT scans and bone scan. All are NORMAL. What a relief. My whole weekend consisted of things going over in my head. Not being able to sleep is tiring me down. Even after hearing those words, hard to comprehend anything. Head just spins and I go through the motions. I continue to be a positive person as that is so important now.

It's also a food party day at work. Systems and us got together to celebrate spring. Or perhaps, just to celebrate life. Truly good people are out there to help us along any path that comes our way.

Surgery is set for tomorrow.

Per Mom Kaminske's request/suggestion Tim and I visit with Fr. Philip at St. Camillus Church for Sacrament of the anointing of the sick. Wasn't sure how Tim would handle this but he's a real trouper. It was a very powerful experience. I had never thought of doing this. Never thought that Tim would have to participate in such an event. But he continues to be my strength. I can't explain it, but that evening I felt such a calmness come over me. Went to bed without shedding a tear.

I continue to read 2 inspirational books each night. The passages are just long or short enough.
And for some strange reason, usually have to do with what I am going through. Tonight the passage was the power of prayer. I don't consider myself a holier than thow person, but do feel such strength in God, especially through upbeat Christian songs. I don't go around preaching, but I do go around spreading goodness and being positive.

Day of testing at hospital

I went to UPMC in the morning for 3 different tests. CT scans of abdomin and chest, along with bone scan. I had to drink some milky type liquid for one test, and an injection in my arm for the other. One of the side effects of the injection I was told my the nurse and Maureen was this:
don't be surprised if your ears get hot or your crotch area gets hot! The nurse said that if it happened, just enjoy. If not, sorry. I am happy to say that the crotch area got hot for awhile.
Might as well have something good come out of a test!

I had asked Dr. Henwood for sleeping pill and he called in one for me. Will pick it up after work today. Can you believe ambien was not covered by my insurance. Heck, you can buy illegal drugs on street corners but not ambien by prescription.

The bone scan involved having some radioactive stuff put in my vein and to return in 4 hrs. for the actual 1 hr. scan. I could drink or eat anything in between. I immediately went to Burger King. And no, I did not get any soda to drink Tim! I gave that up for Lent. And since we are being honest, I have to admit that I went off the wagon once or twice and had some soda. Must have been the devil.

The bone scan involved laying flat on my back without moving for about an hr. as the machine slowly scanned my body. And slowly is the key word. I didn't move an inch. They even taped up my feet to keep them still.

After the scan, I went home and didn't go back to work. A very tiring day, mostly mentally.
The results would be sent to Dr. Henwood as soon as possible.

Meet with Dr. Henwood about options

Barry and I met with Dr. Henwood to go over options. A second surgery will need to be done any way. While we were at the doctor's office, Dr. Henwood consulted over the phone with Dr. Garrow. The type of cancers were discussed. I had my cheat sheet of questions, along with some knowledge that I had gained from different websites. Linda Evans and others had given me a wealth of information to look up on the web. Am thankful for any input. Knowledge can only make you stronger. Today's weight: 141 lbs.

I decided, since it has to be my own personal decision, to have the lumpectomy. To go back in to get a clear margin. Cancer free area. Trying to save the breast is what one wants to do first.
And if not a clear margin, a third surgery would be done. This could involve removing lymph nodes and/or mastectomy. Can't believe that I am saying these words like they are everyday words.

Since the type of cancer I have is an invasive/aggressive cancer, Dr. Henwood ordered three tests at UPMC on Monday in preparation for the surgery.

Barry and I had so much to think about. We ended up going to lunch at Olive Garden. Since it was a Friday, I had shrimp scampi which was out of this world. Along with lemonade.

My cancer has a name Metaplastic carcinoma

I had called Dr. Wright's office during the day. I wanted her to know that I had cancer since she had read the prior report from radiologist. If anything, I wanted her to know that they were wrong.

She had the recent biopsy report and gave me the names of the cancer. For the first time, my cancer had a name besides cancer.

The bulk of the tumor is metaplastic carcinoma (invasive) and ductal carcinoma in situ (in situ, stays within the duct) . Invasive cancer travels and therefore is a threat.

She had all breast reports and told me that nothing appears in the right breast in the reports.
Eventually, just for my own head I am going to ask for these reports. Just shows how fast this cancer can spread/grow.

Since my cousin Diane had just called me, I wanted her to know the type of cancer. Just wanted to see if the same due to family involvement. It wasn't.

I then surfed the web for information on this type of cancer. Actually it appears to be rare, only 1 percent of diagnosed people have it. Just a lucky person I guess.

Tell work that I have cancer

It was a restless night. As I drove to work, I had tears in my eyes. How was I going to tell Michelle that I had cancer? I got to work, turned on my pc and then Michelle came in to office. I think I immediately blurted it out to her. In my head I wanted so much to talk to Linda Evans, a person at the bank that had breast cancer. As others in the department came to work, it became obvious to them that I had bad news.

When Linda Evans came in at about 8:30, Michelle took me to her office and we shared a hug.
It was comforting to have someone that has been through this to be able to talk to.

After many tears, it is amazing how good people can be in difficult times. Even Matt, a new employee in the dept. came over and gave me a hug. This is from a guy who never would usually do such a thing.

I remember Carrie (a co-worker) ask me why I was at work. My only answer was that I needed to be at work. Needed to be kept busy.

It was only a short time since I heard the word cancer, but so many people are praying for me and emailing me. Am so thankful for family and new friends. New friends who are sharing their own personal stories of survival from this dreaded disease.

I believe it was my cousin Diane who said this to me: hang out with only positive people, positive attitude. She said that being positive is so important in the handling of this disease.

Words you never want to hear

Tim was at Mercer Schools today for an exchange concert. I had a message on my machine to call Dr. Henwood's office. The call came in at 2 ish, and I was given a second number if I was returning the call after 5 p.m.
Aleesa put Dr. Henwood on the phone. It was at that moment my life changed. It's not for me to say if for the better or for the worst, since that is all part of God's big plans for me. I heard the words that I never thought I would ever hear. He said that over the phone was not the usual way to relay this information, but he knew I had called for the results. I was all by myself when he said "I'm sorry to say but the tissue was cancerous." Geez, you can never prepare yourself for those hard words. I don't know where I got my strength, but I didn't openly cry. Had to stay composed to hear the whole story. As usual I got out my scrap piece of paper to jot down anything he wrote. Words like chemo/radiation/mastectomy/options... too many to think about.

He needs to go back in for second surgery to get "clear margin", cancer free on all sides of tissue. Since he was not looking for cancer (per radiologist report) he only removed the tumor, didn't try to get clear margin. I also have to see him on Friday to go over in person my "options.
" Who would think that all of a sudden I have to become familiar with such medical terms.
It's almost like a dream, but a bad one.

The first person I called was Barry. He had worked all day doing some special job at Dow Jones. I just blurted out the words "I have cancer" and he said he was coming home immediately. My next call was to Maureen. I could not bear to call my parents especially with my mother fading so fast with her memory. How much could my family take? She and I continued to cry over the phone.

Barry came home right away and I explained everything to him. Not sure of all the people that called me that day, just a blur. Barry and I had to go to Tim's concert. My head was spinning. How do you tell your 14 year old son that you have cancer?

The concert was great. Tim looked so surprised to see Barry there. It was Barry's first concert since he is usually working. Afterwards, we went out to Rachel's since we had not eaten. It was during dinner that Barry would nudge me and ask me when am I going to tell Tim? I finally just had to say the truth to Tim. Am so thankful he is as smart as he is. His first words were: but they got it when they operated on you last week. I had to tell them that they are not sure.

Tim is my strenghth. Must have something to do with how we raise him. His words to me as we entered the house: We just have to stay positive, Mom. How true and how smart a 14 year old can be.

Barry suggested that I call Dr. George Garrow. He's a neighbor and head oncologist to local hospital cancer care unit. I called him at 9:30 p.m. and spoke about 30 minutes with him. He is such a caring man. I started the conversation with: once you hear the words cancer, where do you go? He told me to get piece of paper and write down some questions for surgeon. He had high opinion of Dr. Henwood and said that he is a fine surgeon.

Not sure how I even was able to go to bed this evening. So much on my mind. A phone call can change your life in a moment.

Call Dr. Henwood for results of biopsy

It had been a few days, and I decided to call Dr. Henwood for the results of the biopsy. Actually, I thought this was a stupid and unneccessary thing to do. Thought to myself that cancer must look like cancer, so therefore he would have known it was cancer. Boy, was I wrong.

Alica, his receptionist, told me that the results would usually have been discussed at the follow up scheduled for next week. But she said that she would tell Dr. Henwood that I called for them.

Off of work for 3 days

I didn't work for 3 days after the surgery. The hospital followed up on 3/10 and asked me some questions. Did I dream under anesthesia, and what were last and first things I remember from surgery. Strange questions but must be for a reason.

I was not able to wash the area for 72 hrs. Thank goodness for hot baths. That certainly did feel good.

It felt so good to wash my hair, even though it was done in the kitchen sink.

Surgery to remove the lump

We had to be at Edgewood Surgical Hospital at 7:30. The highlight of this day was the anesthesiologist called Chris. He did Barry's meds when he had surgery there a few months ago. It's not that he is gorgeous, but just seems to be a nice and caring guy. Most of the same nurses were there that day. You feel like you have your own private care at this day hospital.
I think the procedure was about 3o minutes or so. Chris would come over toward me, take the 2 vials out of his pocket and say "I've got some good stuff for you." Very cool as he clicked his fingers on the vial. I told him that he must be life of a party.

It wasn't even 5 seconds after the anesthesia went in that I was mumbling something about good whisky sour. This comment had to do with getting nicely drunk in Cleveland the night before we left for Az. And believe me, it was a nice drunk!

Next thing I remember was trying to wake up in recovery. I could see Dr. Henwood sitting down and reading something. Nancy, a nurse would ask how I was doing. Very hard trying to wake up, but when you close your eyes you would be dizzy. A struggle. Eventually they brought Barry in to sit next to me. Dr. Henwood had told Barry that the tissue would be sent for biopsy.

On our way home, Barry stopped at D'Onofrios grocery store for some soup. Nice hot soup.
As soon as I got home, I ate some and Barry went to get my prescription filled.

I must say that I felt pretty good after going through this surgery. I attempted to sleep in the afternoon, but it was difficult due to bandaging on my chest area.

Vacation to Phoenix, AZ for 25th anniversary

We went to see Bonnie and Don, and Mel and Lucinda in Az. for one week. We got to see so much of God's country, including the Grand Canyon and Petrified Forest. It was one week that included over 1500 miles in our minivan that we had rented. We stayed in Flagstaff, AZ at a timeshare that Maureen had given us for our wedding anniversary. It's amazing how much we saw this week. Had never been to that part of the country.

It was great being able to see all the St. Laurent's and Mel and Lucinda. A real treat.

We definitely have to go back for Part 2 as Bonnie said.

We made up CD disk of over 350 pictures to show everyone. Or should I say Barry did. He even downloaded music to play along with the slide show.

Meeting with Dr. Henwood/surgeon

I met with Dr. Henwood to discuss the results of the ultrasounds on my right breast. He could only read the results and did say that surgery is an option. We decided to have it taken out.
Since we were going on vacation the end of this month, we would postpone the surgery until we got back from Phoenix. He didn't want anything to happen to the incision if we were out of state.


Surgery was scheduled for March 9, one day after our 25th anniversary. What an anniversary present. Will never forget that one!

I will go for blood work and pre-op testing the end of the month.

Breast exam by Dr. Wright

Dr. Wright had never examined the lump and wanted to feel it. She had the results of the reports and re-iterated what was in them. I immediately said STOP. I don't want to wait any more time, please take it out! She said that was an option and asked me if I knew of a surgeon.
Came up with the name Jon Henwood who had removed some fatty tissue for Barry a few months ago.

I am so glad that I was my own advocate, otherwise I would still have this cancer growing in my body and possibly spreading. If anything is learned from this experience it is this: be your own and best advocate. Don't always side with a doctor's opinion/suggestion.

She made an appt. to see Dr. Henwood on 2/8/05.

Follow up ultrasound/right breast

I am not sure of the exact date of this ultrasound. I need to ask Dr. Wright so that I can have it all written down for my own sanity.

I just know that the lump had grown and it continued to be sore.

The results showed it had grew, but radiologist report recommended a 3rd follow up. Said that these "things" tend to change in size according to periods. Again, said not to worry. Strange how something can hurt and a doctor can say "don't worry."

Will be seeing my GYN for exam of the breast in question, since she had never felt the lump.
Scheduled for 1/26/05.